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Zen Stories to Tell Your Neighbors: Maybe
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May be," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "May be," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May be," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.
honors  philosophy  teaching_pol_theory  Psychology 
yesterday by Jibarosoy
The lost art of concentration: being distracted in a digital world | Life and style | The Guardian
We check our phones every 12 minutes, often just after waking up. Always-on behaviour is harmful to long-term mental health, and we need to learn to the hit the pause button
productivity  mindfulness  psychology  health  distraction  brain  concentration 
yesterday by e2b
The Tyranny of the Perfect Life
The word utopia, in its original form, meant “no place,” and no place is, I think, the only place where the perfect life can be found.
2018  Advice  Curated_Self  Identity  Philosophy  Psychology  from instapaper
yesterday by brittybyte
Why Trump Supporters Believe He Is Not Corrupt
Once you grasp that for Trump and many of his supporters, corruption means less the violation of law than the violation of established hierarchies, their behavior makes more sense.
2018  Culture  Ethics  Identity  Politics  Psychology  from instapaper
yesterday by brittybyte
How Our Cultural Obsession With Platonic 'Girlfriends' Sidelines Queer Women
We sat on her couch and talked all night and I thought this is the best thing in my life. We texted all day, every day, and I thought I will never find anything like this again. We held hands through a concert and I told myself this is just friends even if it didn’t feel like it, and she went home to her fiancé, and I went home to my uncleaned room and my part-time job and my unanswered texts from my mom.
2018  Culture  Equality  Gender  Language  Psychology  Relationships    from instapaper
yesterday by brittybyte
Childhood Emotional Neglect -- The Dark Side of Being Raised by Permissive Parents
'Permissive parents, at best, act more as a friend than a parent to their children. At worst, they are simply not paying attention to what their child is doing or not doing. They may focus solely on enjoyment and happiness for their child or they may constantly look the other way in order to avoid the clash and conflict that is a necessary part of teaching a child important life skills. -- ... The Dark Side Of Permissive Parenting: #You don’t get to learn how to make yourself do things you don’t want to do, or stop yourself from doing things you shouldn’t do. Those two skills are the foundation of self-discipline. When your parents require you, as a child, to do chores, meet requirements, and manage your impulses, you internalize the ability to do chores, meet requirements, and manage your impulses yourself. -- #The love from your parents comes across as one-dimensional. Parental love is meant to have conflict in it. That’s because a parent’s role is to do whatever is necessary to raise a healthy child. A parent who is willing to fight with you is one who’s willing to fight for you. Even though children get angry and frustrated with parents who are disciplining them, children experience that conflict, if not delivered harshly or excessively from the parent, as a deeper, richer form of love. When you do not get this from your parents, you miss out on that deeper version of attentive, fight-for-you love. -- #Having a permissive parent teaches you little about how to handle difficult emotions. Permissive parents fail their children by failing to prepare them emotionally for their adult lives. When there’s little clash in the home, there’s little opportunity for the children to learn that it’s okay to be angry, how to express anger, or how to work through negative emotions with another person. Being comfortable and capable in the face of conflict is a vital life skill that you, the child, missed out on. -- #It’s hard to see what you missed in childhood. Since permissive parenting masquerades as a kinder form of love, it leaves the child struggling with the results of Childhood Emotional Neglect as he or she grows up. Yet looking back to childhood for an explanation, the true answer to what went wrong is very difficult to see.'
rkselectiontheory  decadence  neglect  parenting  boundaries  psychology 
yesterday by adamcrowe
Nautilus -- Why You Should Read Fiction
'If mentalizing skills can be burnished by language that draws attention to mental states, has literature’s increasing use of such language improved readers’ social intelligence over the centuries? Psychologists can’t go back to the 1200s to administer batteries of tests to medieval denizens, but they can test and compare present-day humans whose reading habits differ. -- Such research shows a clear link between people’s mentalizing skills and the books on their nightstands. In a study led by Raymond Mar, voracious readers of fiction were better than lighter consumers of fiction at making nuanced social judgments based on limited information—for example, deciphering complex emotions by looking at photographs of people’s eyes, and using subtle cues in videos of social interactions (such as guessing who was the child of the two adults in the video based on body language, tone of voice, and other nonverbal information). Heavy readers of expository nonfiction showed the opposite pattern, performing worse than lighter readers of nonfiction. Other research, using similar tests, has found a specific advantage for reading literary fiction compared with popular genre fiction, or for romance fiction over science fiction. -- These studies don’t prove that a particular literary diet nourishes social intelligence; it’s hard to rule out the possibility that people who are more attuned to other minds are simply more interested in reading about them in the first place, in which case, reading habits would be one result of social intelligence. The ideal experiment would randomly assign people to different reading regimens over a sustained period and then compare the effects.'
psychology  mentalizing  reading 
yesterday by adamcrowe
Reading reduces stress levels - Kumon Europe & Africa Limited
"A 2009 study by the University of Sussex found that reading for just six minutes can reduce stress levels by up to 68%. (The Telegraph, March 2009)

As reading is an essential part of many jobs, it is easy to forget the benefits of reading a book for pleasure. However, kicking back with a book that has no connection to your regular routine can bring numerous benefits.

Opening a book and immersing yourself in its content, whether it be a romantic novel, or a sci-fi story, will help you to escape from the stresses of everyday life. Reading also has the physical benefits of reducing your heart rate and easing muscle tension. Think of reading as a healthy and free brain holiday!”
reading  LoveFirst  science  psychology 
yesterday by KuraFire

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