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Aziz Ansari: Love, Online Dating, Modern Romance and the Internet
[[the kind of partner people said they were looking for didn’t match up with the kind of partner they were actually interested in.

Amarnath Thombre, Match.com’s president, discovered this by analyzing the discrepancy between the characteristics people said they wanted in a romantic partner (age, religion, hair color and the like) and the characteristics of the people whom they contacted on the site. When you watched their actual browsing habits—who they looked at and contacted—they went way outside of what they said they wanted.

In the U.S., marriage rates are at historic lows—the rate of marriages per 1,000 single women dropped almost 60% from 1970 to 2012. Americans are also joining the international trend of marrying later; for the first time in history, the typical American now spends more years single than married. So what are we doing instead?Long-term cohabitation is on the rise. Living alone has skyrocketed almost everywhere, and in many major cities, nearly half of all households have just one resident.

does all the effort put into sorting profiles help? Despite the nuanced information that people put up on their profiles, the factor that they rely on most when preselecting a date is looks. In his book Dataclysm, OkCupid founder Christian Rudder estimates, based on data from his own site, that photos drive 90% of the action in online dating.

People in arranged marriages start off lukewarm, but over time they really invest in each other and in general have successful relationships. This may be because they bypassed the most dangerous part of a relationship: In the first stage of a relationship, you have passionate love. This is where you and your partner are just going crazy for each other. Every smile makes your heart flutter. Every night is more magical than the last. During this phase, your brain floods your neural synapses with dopamine, the same neurotransmitter that gets released when you do cocaine.
Like all drugs, though, this high wears off after 12 to 18 months. At a certain point, the brain rebalances itself. In good relationships, as passionate love fades, companionate love arises to take its place. If passionate love is the cocaine of love, companionate love is like having a glass of wine.

two danger points in every romantic relationship:

1) at the apex of the passionate-love phase. People get all excited and dive in headfirst. A new couple, weeks or months into a relationship, high off passionate love, goes bonkers and moves in together and gets married way too quickly. Sometimes these couples are able to transition from the passionate stage to the companionate one. Other times, though, they transition into a crazy, toxic relationship and/or get divorced.

2) when passionate love starts wearing off. This is when you start coming down off that initial high and start worrying about whether this is really the right person for you.

Your texts used to be so loving: It’s hard to focus on anything at work, ’cause all that’s in my head is you. Now your texts are like: Let’s just meet at Whole Foods. Or: Hey, that dog you made us buy took a dump in my shoe.

But Haidt argues that when you hit this stage, you should be patient. With luck, if you allow yourself to invest more in the other person, you will find a beautiful life companion.]]

After a wedding with exaggerated vows (the non-cheesy heartfelt version of “You are a lotion that moisturizes my heart. Without you, my soul has eczema.”), four couples broke up because they didn't have that kind of love. "Did they call it off too early, at their danger point? I don’t know, but I, too, felt scared hearing that stuff. Did I have what those people had? At that point, no. But for some reason, I felt deep down that I should keep investing in my relationship—as my father did, after those fateful 30 minutes of literally sizing up my mother—and that eventually that level of love would show itself. And so far, it has."
arranged  marriage  satisfaction  persist  love 
september 2017 by dandv
Born To Be Queen - Kadorienne - Thor (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
If the baby frost giant Odin kidnapped from Jotunheim had been a princess instead of a prince.

Loki would’ve been way better off in Asgard’s exaggeratedly patriarchal culture if he’d been a chick.
Lady!Loki  Loki  Thor  Thor/Loki  incest  Rule  63  arranged  marriage 
june 2017 by kadorienne
Your hand in my hand
If Jamie were able to spend the whole of his life lurking amongst book stacks in the library, he should have been the happiest man in existence. Unfortunately, this was not deemed a
fic  marriage  historicAU  arranged  longfic  gelesen  sirona  hockeyRPF  jamie/tyler  AU 
april 2016 by niandra_joan
Royal Secrets
(from the prompt)Jared (18-21) is a commoner who works hard to support his sickly mother. He doesn't pay too much attention to politics, and is surprised to see the prince's entourage travelling through his village. The prince notices that Jared looks exactly like him, and the prince sneaks off to meet him, telling Jared how fun it would be if they could switch places, just for the day. No one would even notice! When Jared hesitates, the prince also offers Jared a lot of money, to help out Jared's mother. Jared agrees, but the prince never returns to switch back, and the prince's caretakers just sigh and tell Jared to stop pitching fits when he insists that he's not the prince and he has to go home. It turns out the entourage was escorting the prince to be wed to Jensen, a prince from a neighboring kingdom, and the prince was willing to do anything to get out of it.
unread  author:  sanshal  plot:  arranged  marriage  plot:  misunderstanding  Attribute:  royal!boys 
december 2015 by infinitefeels
Iron In My Spine by willowoftheriver
Will is forced by her guardian Chilton to marry Hannibal, the leader of a tribe of cannibals, in a bid to raise an army and take back the Iron Throne that rightfully belongs to her. Chilton has his own designs on the Throne, but little does he know that Will already has a mind to outmaneuver him, and living with the cannibals will just embolden her. Hannibal, meanwhile, is simply amused by it all.
Hannibal  (TV)  Hannibal/Will  Graham  R  [M]  20K-29K  words  WIP  Game  of  Thrones  AU  Female  Will  Graham  Cannibalism  Sex  During  Menstruation/Red  Wings  Arranged  Marriage 
august 2015 by danceofflame
spnstoryfinders: 3 Nonspecific J2 or Sam/Dean (or gen) searches
1) Arranged Wedding/Mating: anxiety over arranged marriage or mating and low expectations for future quality of life, 2) Hydrophobia/Drowning: saved from drowing or scared of water (esp as a result of past drowning-related experience), 3) Heatstroke/Heat Exhaustion: J1/J2 or Sam/Dean get heat exhaustion (esp. if they hide it)
my  posts  plot:  arranged  marriage  plot:  drowning  affliction:  heat  stroke 
may 2015 by infinitefeels
The Queen Rania Tree : NPR
Ghazi Albuliwi's parents wanted him to get married in the traditional Arab way. He thought it was a bad idea. They were about to find out who was right.
radio  arranged  marriage  arab  palestine  public 
april 2015 by lgtout
Parent Meddling Makes for Unmerry Marriages in China: Report - China Real Time Report - WSJ
“Parental matchmaking is robustly correlated with lower marital harmony,” said a World Bank research paper titled “Love, Money, and Old Age Support: Does Parental Matchmaking Matter?” The reason for the unmerry marriages is that parents put their own needs for elderly care ahead of love, say researchers. Lacking hearty social security, Mom and Dad worry about the post-retirement years and how they’ll be cared for, so they look for wealthy mates for their children who will provide financial security. They also seek submissive mates who will happily tend to chores, boosting household productivity, the report said. Researchers surveyed 3,400 rural couples and 3,800 urban couples in seven provinces across China in 1991. While the data might be old, said Colin Xu, one of the authors, parental influence remains important in Chinese culture. Traditionally arranged marriages in which children have no say in their marital fate are no longer as prevalent in current-day China, but Mr. Xu said C
chinese  marriage  chinese  demographics  arranged  marriages  chinese  arranged  marriages  chinese  parents  chinese  welfare  chinese  matchmaking 
february 2015 by thegrandnarrative
A Desperate Arrangement - Chapter 1 - mikkimouse - Teen Wolf (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
"I'm sorry, I believe there's something wrong with my hearing," Stiles said. "Because I could have sworn you just told me you set up a betrothal agreement with the Hales. A betrothal agreement involving me. Me." Scott smiled his easygoing smile and nodded, which told Stiles no, he hadn't misheard a damn thing. After seven years of lengthy negotiations, the treaty between the Hales and the Argents has fallen apart and the two countries fell into war. Months later, there's an uneasy truce, thanks to the intervention of King Scott McCall, but it won't last. In a desperate attempt to maintain the peace, the Hales sign a treaty with the McCalls to marry Prince Derek to Prince Stiles Stilinski, King Scott's brother. In the history of the world, there have been many better ideas.
fanfic  teen  wolf  arranged  marriage  royalty  AU 
november 2014 by Aidara
Interview: Jenny Nordberg, Author Of 'The Underground Girls Of Kabul' : NPR
oppression, gender-based discrimination, ... " "I see how women are treated here. Why would I want to be one of them?" So she goes to great lengths to disguise herself as a boy, and she has constant daily arguments with her parents, who beg of her, "Can you become more feminine? Can you grow out your hair?" And she refuses. She will walk in a hunched-over way, in an exaggerated male fashion, and very much take on the attitude of a young man. This is how she's grown up, and this is what feels natural to her. So, there are a few who actually are able to resist, but most of the time, you don't go against your parents."
Afghanistan  Religion  Theology  LGBTQIA  gender  queer  history  extremism  radicalism  book  equality  Middle  East  Islamic  Law  Islam  feminism  arranged  marriage  child  marriage  Free  Will  human  rights  human  tragedy 
september 2014 by asterisk2a
Encircle Me - luninosity - Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Actor RPF [Archive of Our Own]
Second story in that bdsm universe series where Chris and Sebastian have an arranged marriage. Set the day after the wedding, when they're trying to figure out how to make it work. Sweet and very hot.
captamerica  rps  chris_evans/sebastian_stan  bdsm  bdsm_universe  arranged  marriage  from delicious
september 2014 by norwich36
Forbidden (1/8)
You know those a/b/o-verses where the omegas are the bottom of the social hierarchy, often only seen as good for fucking and/or popping out babies, but not as partners? I want the reverse of that. Where alphas are generally seen as second-class members of society (practically), that think with their knots and are good for getting omegas through their heats or sperm donors or hired muscle. Certainly they're not mating/marriage material--that's what omegas have betas for. But omega!Jared meets and falls in love with alpha!Jensen anyway, and he doesn't give a shit about what society thinks, they're going to be mated. Haters gonna hate.
plot:  controlling  parents  attribute:  alpha!jensen  attribute:  omega!jared  kink:  heat  kink:  a/b/o  dynamics  kink:  a/b/o  dynamics  attribute:  rich!jared  kink:  rimming  kink:  claiming  kink:  mpreg  attribute:  pregnant!jared  affliction:  crying  affliction:  sadness  plot:  arranged  marriage  affliction:  jealousy  affliction:  jealousy  affliction:  rejection  Community:  Kink  Meme  kink:  self!lubrication  kink:  knotting  kink:  first!time  kink:  fingering 
september 2014 by infinitefeels
The Supersoldier's Amnesiac Groom - casspeach - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Steve Rogers has always known that the supersoldier serum was a gift, and he's never been afraid to do what's right. When Uncle Sam asks him to unite the two sides of the Cold War by taking part in a symbolic union with a fabled Russian assassin, Captain America doesn't hesitate to do his duty. Little does he know how thoroughly his world is going to be turned upside down.
captain  america  avengers  fanfic  arranged  marriage  from delicious
august 2014 by Aidara

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