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I’m a sexual consent educator. Here’s what’s missing in the Aziz Ansari conversation.
It’s impossible to know for sure what Ansari was thinking on the night in question, but this is a seasoned performer who knows how to read a crowd, and a “relationship expert” to boot. It strains credulity to imagine he truly thought she was excited about what was happening between them. What’s much more likely is that he didn’t care how she felt one way or the other and treated her boundaries as a challenge. Either way, his alleged behavior was dehumanizing.

Affirmative consent, when taught well, also removes heteronormative assumptions from sex ed. If we’re each equally responsible to make sure our partner is enthusiastic about what’s happening, gender stereotypes — such as that women are passive and men are aggressive — about sexuality begin to break down.

Consent education does something else transformative: It tells girls that sex is supposed to be for them.
vox  aziz-ansari  sexual-assault  sexual-consent  consent  jaclyn-friedman  sex-education 
2 days ago by yolandaenoch
Opinion | Aziz, We Tried to Warn You - The New York Times
There is a reflexive tendency, when grappling with stories of sexual misconduct like the accusations leveled at Ansari this past weekend — incidents that seem to exist in that vast gray area between assault and a skewed power dynamic — to point out that sexual norms have changed. This is true. The line between seduction and coercion has shifted, and shifted quickly, over the past few years (the past few months, even). When I was in my 20s, a decade ago, sex was something of a melee. “No means no” was the only rule, and it was still solidly acceptable in mainstream social circles to bother somebody until they agreed to have sex with you. (At the movies, this was called romantic comedy.)

What’s not true is the suggestion that complex conversations about consent are new territory, or that men weren’t given ample opportunity to catch up.
lindywest  nyt  metoo  azizansari  rapeculture  consent 
6 days ago by laurenipsum
Aziz Ansari Is A Different Conversation Than Weinstein, But It’s A Con
Excellent example of common attitudes of men toward sex & women (example) + links to more
sexuality  assault  example  hollywood  exposé  rape  consent  women  men  actor 
6 days ago by csrollyson
Welcome to the neighbourhood. Have you read the terms of service?
"The whole point of a smart city is that everything that can be collected will be collected"
personaldata  privacy  consent 
7 days ago by corrickwales

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