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depersonalization

Like Beautiful Galatea - Chapter 1 - AraniaArt, Cryo_Bucky - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Steve Rogers writes the Captain America comics, it’s a great gig, and the Winter Soldier is a great way for him to cope with the loss of his lover. So why was the Winter Soldier from his story standing in his living room?
fanfic  recs  au  MCU  SteveRogers  BuckyBarnes  small.Steve  Steve/Bucky  slash  WinterSolider  depersonalization 
july 2017 by meri_sefket
All The Leaves Are Brown (And the sky is gray) - Chapter 1 - AvocadoLove - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
The Winter Soldier's mission is nearly complete. Howard and Maria Stark are dead, leaving him to dispatch their four-year-old child. One quick twist of the neck is all it will take, but the Soldier finds he cannot do it.

So instead of killing Tony Stark, the Winter Soldier takes him away to raise as his own.
fanfic  recs  au  gen  MCU  BuckyBarnes  TonyStark  family  WinterSolider  depersonalization 
april 2017 by meri_sefket
For a Good Cause - Jaune_Chat - The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
The Avengers are having a charity auction. Bucky remembers how HYDRA used to do the same thing...
fanfic  recs  MCU  WinterSolider  depersonalization  angst  rape  SteveRogers  BuckyBarnes  Steve/Bucky  slash 
april 2017 by meri_sefket
Welcome to AirSpace | The Verge
"It’s easy to see how social media shapes our interactions on the internet, through web browsers, feeds, and apps. Yet technology is also shaping the physical world, influencing the places we go and how we behave in areas of our lives that didn’t heretofore seem so digital. Think of the traffic app Waze rerouting cars in Los Angeles and disrupting otherwise quiet neighborhoods; Airbnb parachuting groups of international tourists into residential communities; Instagram spreading IRL lifestyle memes; or Foursquare sending traveling businessmen to the same cafe over and over again.

We could call this strange geography created by technology "AirSpace." It’s the realm of coffee shops, bars, startup offices, and co-live / work spaces that share the same hallmarks everywhere you go: a profusion of symbols of comfort and quality, at least to a certain connoisseurial mindset. Minimalist furniture. Craft beer and avocado toast. Reclaimed wood. Industrial lighting. Cortados. Fast internet. The homogeneity of these spaces means that traveling between them is frictionless, a value that Silicon Valley prizes and cultural influencers like Schwarzmann take advantage of. Changing places can be as painless as reloading a website. You might not even realize you’re not where you started.

It’s possible to travel all around the world and never leave AirSpace, and some people don’t. Well-off travelers like Kevin Lynch, an ad executive who lived in Hong Kong Airbnbs for three years, are abandoning permanent houses for digital nomadism. Itinerant entrepreneurs, floating on venture capital, might head to a Bali accelerator for six months as easily as going to the grocery store. AirSpace is their home.

As the geography of AirSpace spreads, so does a certain sameness. Schwarzmann’s cafe phenomenon recalls what the architect Rem Koolhaas noticed in his prophetic essay "The Generic City," from the 1995 book S,M,L,XL: "Is the contemporary city like the contemporary airport—‘all the same’?" he asks. "What if this seemingly accidental—and usually regretted—homogenization were an intentional process, a conscious movement away from difference toward similarity?"

Yet AirSpace is now less theory than reality. The interchangeability, ceaseless movement, and symbolic blankness that was once the hallmark of hotels and airports, qualities that led the French anthropologist Marc Augé to define them in 1992 as "non-places," has leaked into the rest of life.

As an affluent, self-selecting group of people move through spaces linked by technology, particular sensibilities spread, and these small pockets of geography grow to resemble one another, as Schwarzmann discovered: the coffee roaster Four Barrel in San Francisco looks like the Australian Toby’s Estate in Brooklyn looks like The Coffee Collective in Copenhagen looks like Bear Pond Espresso in Tokyo. You can get a dry cortado with perfect latte art at any of them, then Instagram it on a marble countertop and further spread the aesthetic to your followers.

This confluence of style is being accelerated by companies that foster a sense of placelessness, using technology to break down geography. Airbnb is a prominent example. Even as it markets unique places as consumable goods, it helps its users travel without actually having to change their environment, or leave the warm embrace of AirSpace."



"This year, Airbnb moved from passively shaping the spaces users inhabit, to changing the way they travel by creating in-app guidebooks that will provide Foursquare-like recommendations to guests based on host tips. Just this week, the company also announced Samara, an in-house design and engineering studio that will "pioneer services for connection, commerce, and social change within and around the expanding Airbnb community," Airbnb co-founder Joe Gebbia said in the press release. Samara’s first residence and community center in Nara Prefecture, Japan, Gebbia suggests, will enable a kind of voyeurism for foreign tourists: "I picture Western guests walking up, stepping inside, and you’re interacting with the community from the minute you arrive," he told Fast Company.

Yet the AirSpace aesthetic that Airbnb has contributed to, and the geography it creates, limits experiences of difference in the service of comforting a particular demographic ("the vanilla tourist") falsely defined as the norm. It is a "hallucination of the normal," as Koolhaas writes. This is the harmful illusion that so much technology, and technological culture, perpetuates: if you do not fit within its predefined structures as an effective user, you must be doing something wrong. Says Schwarzmann, "It’s a bubble, a lot of things that are reinforcing our bubble. I’m definitely part of the described problem. White, male, privileged and I travel a lot."

Among the phenomenon’s consequences is depersonalization, in the psychiatric sense: "a state in which one loses all sense of identity." I personally like the AirSpace style. I can’t say no to a tasteful, clean, modern life space. But thinking through its roots and negative implications makes me reconsider my attachment. It’s hard to identify with something so empty at its core.

In the advent of AirSpace, our options are limited. The first is finding "the advantages of blankness," as Koolhaas writes, becoming connoisseurs of "the color variations in the fluorescent lighting of an office building just before sunset, the subtleties of the slightly different whites of an illuminated sign at night." Kanyi Maqubela, the Roam investor, sees meaning in the generic from an unexpected source. "If you go to Catholic church in most parts of the world, the mass is going to feel like the mass. There is still a sense of unity," he says. "We’re starting to enter the world where these private companies have some of that magic to them, the notion of feeling at home across time zones in any country."

Suggesting that Airbnb could become the next Vatican is a stretch, however. While it would be impossible to stop the spread of the generic style—like trying to stop all hotels from looking the same—there are still steps to consider against the imperfect frictionlessness of the territory it occupies. This could come in the form of legislation that resists the spread of services like Airbnb (as Berlin, Paris, New York and San Francisco are considering), or a simple personal choice to become more invested in the local than the mobile — to opt for the flawed community bed & breakfast rather than the temporary, immaculate apartment. Seeking out difference is important, particularly when technology makes it so easy to avoid doing so.

Left unchecked, there is a kind of nightmare version of AirSpace that could spread room by room, cafe by cafe across the world. It’s already there, if you look for it. There are blank white lofts with subway-tile bathrooms, modular furniture, wall-mounted TVs, high-speed internet, and wide, viewless windows in every city, whether it’s downtown Madrid; Nørrebro, Copenhagen; or Gulou, Beijing. Once you take the place of the people who live there, you can head out to their favorite coffee shops, bars, or workspaces, which will be instantly recognizable because they look just like the apartment that you’re living in. You will probably enjoy it. You might think, ‘This is nice, I am comfortable.’ And then you can move on to the next one, only a click away."
2016  airbnb  culture  sameness  internationalization  homogenization  design  architecture  interiors  kylechayka  socialmedia  airspace  depersonalization  generic 
august 2016 by robertogreco
The Fifties - Speranza - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
"Because everything's all right, isn't it?" Bucky said. "Everything's great. I'm so happy; I never thought I could be this happy. You're happy, too, aren't you, Peg?" [HAHAHA MINDFUCK, but with a happy ending.]
poly  het  PeggyCarter  SteveRogers  BuckyBarnes  Steve/Peggy/Bucky  Steve/Peggy  MCU  fanfic  recs  au  depersonalization  mind.control  angst 
october 2015 by meri_sefket
Living Your Best Life - 74days - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
Bucky Barnes isn't lonely. He's not. But the new UI 'AmeriCap' has made him realise just how much he depends on it... when it stops working.
fanfic  recs  angst  depersonalization  SteveRogers  au  MCU  slash  BuckyBarnes  Steve/Bucky 
october 2015 by meri_sefket
Suzanne Segal on wikipedia
Author of "Collision with the Infinite" which is her first person account of her depersonalization disorder.
depersonalization  disorder  identity 
october 2015 by hautdesert
Hard to Say - betty days (sadrobots) - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
“What worked for me was a nice, solid punch in the face. I’m not sure that’ll do much for you, though. Looks like you’ve been through enough already,” Hawkeye said.

***

The Winter Soldier is overdue for a reboot. His friends disagree.
fanfic  recs  MCU  depersonalization  angst  BuckyBarnes  SteveRogers  ClintBarton  family  amnesia  WinterSolider  team 
october 2015 by meri_sefket
Sing Me the Alphabet - Chapter 1 - thesardine - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]
There wasn’t anything left to salvage. That’s what Fury believed. It would have been a kindness to put him down.

When SHIELD finally releases Bucky from custody, Steve struggles to decode behavior that ranges from curious to downright alarming. But with Hydra scrambling to regroup and SHIELD taking more and more questionable measures, Steve is dragged back into battle, forced to weigh what's best for Bucky against what's best for the fate of the free world. [Lucky Ducky Bucky]
fanfic  recs  WinterSolider  amnesia  BuckyBarnes  SteveRogers  team  friendship  angst  depersonalization 
october 2015 by meri_sefket
when I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face - suzukiblu - Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about it. It’s been two months; they’re barely even questioning him anymore.

It’s obvious that no one’s ever letting him see Steve again.
fanfic  recs  depersonalization  WinterSolider  BuckyBarnes  MCU  SteveRogers  team.feels  friendship 
july 2015 by meri_sefket
Lamb and Martyr - Chapter 1 - Dira Sudis (dsudis) - Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
This was originally written at the Hydra Trash Meme, for the following prompt:

The Winter Soldier was never allowed to orgasm (and was punished if he did when his handlers used him for sex/he was caught masturbating) except when he was ordered to brutally rape HYDRA prisoners in lieu of conventional torture. As a result, post-CA:TWS, Bucky can only get off in violent non-con scenarios with him as the rapist - which, obviously, he finds horrifying, choosing self-imposed celibacy over the risk of hurting a lover.

Steve finds out and offers to help. Cue hardcore BDSM with Steve pretending to be the Winter Soldier's victim, crying for help and begging him to stop (the more wretched the better - but always consensually, with a safeword). Steve doesn't get off on it, but he wants to help Bucky (and while vanilla sex does nothing for Bucky, maybe he finds it emotionally soothing to be gentle with Steve before/after their roleplaying?). [This isn't fluffy, but the slow kink negotiation and unfolding is so just up my alley.]
fanfic  recs  MCU  kink  slash  D/s  pain.play  Steve/Bucky  SteveRogers  BuckyBarnes  WinterSolider  depersonalization  rape 
june 2015 by meri_sefket
Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief - Chapter 1 - OddityBoddity - Captain America (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Agent Carter [Archive of Our Own]
He has learned, from listening in cafes and in bars, that Steve Rogers has come to the future with him, and that he is working in SHIELD, and SHIELD is, was, one of Hydra’s many heads.

He knows that Steve Rogers has disappeared. That he was summoned to a hearing and did not attend, and this has made the news. It did not escape Bucky’s notice that Steve Rogers is a match for him, even with the metal arm. It is not outside the realm of possibility that Rogers is going to try to recover the Asset. It may even be that Steve is an Asset himself.
fanfic  recs  amnesia  WinterSolider  BuckyBarnes  depersonalization  SteveRogers  darkfic 
may 2015 by meri_sefket

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