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Where do kids learn to undervalue women? From their parents.
Empirical research shows that no domestic arrangement, not even one in which the mother works full time and the father is unemployed, results in child-care parity between heterosexual spouses.

[...] young men and women predominantly report hope for a future in which they will split the pleasures of breadwinning and caretaking equally with their spouses — what researchers call their Plan A. But when asked for a Plan B, the sexes divide. The men anticipate being primary breadwinners ...
gender  relationships  parenting  edi  society 
3 hours ago by evilsofa
What To Say After A Date, Based On What You Want To Happen Next
I used to consider myself a one-date wonder.
Basically, I had really great, magical first dates, but then, I would never hear from the guys again.
Then, I realized it was because I had no idea what I was supposed to text after the first date, and usu…
Dating  relationships 
20 hours ago by enslrhs82
No Second Date: Why Isn't He Asking You Out Again?
Why didn't he ask you out for a second date? Here are a few possible reasons as well as how to handle the whole situation. Read on!
Dating  relationships 
20 hours ago by enslrhs82
5 Simple Ways To Keep A Guy Interested After A First Date | Soulmates | The Soulmates Blog
Keep your guy interested after the first date and secure a second date with these top 5 tips.
Dating  relationships 
20 hours ago by enslrhs82
Wife Material: 7 Ways To Make Him See That You Are The One!
Want him to see you as wife material so that he will propose and you can live your happily ever after? Follow these 7 strategies to showing your boyfriend that you would make an excellent wife and long-term partner. The secret? Being yourself, not who you think he wants you to be. Start implementing these tips today!
Dating  relationships 
22 hours ago by enslrhs82
How To Get a Boyfriend: 10 Proven Tips To Get The Guy You Want
Scratching your head about how to get a boyfriend? Adam LoDolce has tried-and-true tips that thousands of his relationship coaching clients have used to great success. Learn the secrets to be more attractive to men, as well as find out where to meet them in this in-depth article.
Dating  relationships 
23 hours ago by enslrhs82
Questions to Ask a Guy on a Date: The Proven Secrets To a Great Date
When it comes to questions to ask a guy on a date, you don't want to bombard him with too much interrogation. But with the right questions, you can quickly determine if he's a potential boyfriend or long-term partner without him even realize you're assessing him! Find out what to ask in this article by Adam LoDolce.
Dating  relationships 
yesterday by enslrhs82
How to Be Vulnerable With a Man: Learn How To Open Up to Him
While learning how to be vulnerable with a man may be incredibly scary at first, it's actually one of the best ways to build a healthy and loving relationship. Get tips on how to open up to the man you're with, even if you've been incredibly hurt in past relationships and fear being vulnerable now.
Dating  relationships 
yesterday by enslrhs82
Old memories, accidentally trapped in amber by our digital devices
"Part of what humans use technology for is to better remember the past. We scroll back through photos on our phones and on Instagram & Flickr — “that was Fourth of July 5 years ago, so fun!” — and apps like Swarm, Timehop, and Facebook surface old locations, photos, and tweets for us on the regular. But sometimes, we run into the good old days in unexpected places on our digital devices.

Designer and typographer Marcin Wichary started a thread on Twitter yesterday about “UIs that accidentally amass memories” with the initial example of the “Preferred Networks” listing of all the wifi networks his computer had ever joined, “unexpected reminders of business trips, vacations, accidental detours, once frequented and now closed cafés”.

[image: screeshot of macOS wi-fi panel]

Several other people chimed in with their own examples…the Bluetooth pairings list, the Reminders app, the list of alarms, saved places in mapping apps, AIM/iChat status message log, chat apps not used for years, the Gmail drafts folder, etc.

John Bull noted that his list of former addresses on Amazon is “a massive walk down memory line of my old jobs and places of residence”. I just looked at mine and I’ve got addresses in there from almost 20 years ago.

Steven Richie suggested the Weather app on iOS:
I usually like to add the city I will be travelling to ahead of time to get a sense of what it will be like when we get there.

I do this too but am pretty good about culling my cities list. Still, there are a couple places I keep around even though I haven’t been to them in awhile…a self-nudge for future travel desires perhaps.

Kotori switched back to an old OS via a years-old backup and found “a post-breakup message that came on the day i switched phones”:
thought i moved on but so many whatifs flashed in my head when i read it. what if i never got a new phone. what if they messaged me a few minutes earlier. what if we used a chat that did backups differently

Similarly, Richard fired up Google Maps on an old phone and was briefly transported through time and space:
On a similar note to both of these, a while ago I switched back to my old Nokia N95 after my iPhone died. Fired up Google Maps, and for a brief moment, it marked my location as at a remote crossroads in NZ where I’d last had it open, lost on a road trip at least a decade before.

Matt Sephton runs into old friends when he plays Nintendo:
Every time my friends and I play Nintendo WiiU/Wii/3DS games we see a lot of our old Mii avatars. Some are 10 years old and of a time. Amongst them is a friend who passed away a few years back. It’s always so good to see him. It’s as if he’s still playing the games with us.

For better or worse, machines never forget those who aren’t with us anymore. Dan Noyes’ Gmail holds a reminder of his late wife:
Whenever I open Gmail I see the last message that my late wife sent me via Google chat in 2014. It’s her standard “pssst” greeting for me: “aye aye”. I leave it unread lest it disappears.

It’s a wonderful thread…read the whole thing. [https://twitter.com/mwichary/status/996056615928266752 ]

I encounter these nostalgia bombs every once in awhile too. I closed dozens of tabs the other day on Chrome for iOS; I don’t use it very often, so some of them dated back to more than a year ago. I have bookmarks on browsers I no longer use on my iMac that are more than 10 years old. A MacOS folder I dump temporary images & files into has stuff going back years. Everyone I know stopped using apps like Path and Peach, so when I open them, I see messages from years ago right at the top like they were just posted, trapped in amber.

My personal go-to cache of unexpected memories is Messages on iOS. Scrolling all the way down to the bottom of the list, I can find messages from numbers I haven’t communicated with since a month or two after I got my first iPhone in 2007.

[image: screenshot of Messages in iOS]

There and elsewhere in the listing are friends I’m no longer in touch with, business lunches that went nowhere, old flames, messages from people I don’t even remember, arriving Lyfts in unknown cities, old landlords, completely contextless messages from old numbers (“I am so drunk!!!!” from a friend’s wife I didn’t know that well?!), old babysitters, a bunch of messages from friends texting to be let into our building for a holiday party, playdate arrangements w/ the parents of my kids’ long-forgotten friends (which Ella was that?!), and old group texts with current friends left to languish for years. From one of these group texts, I was just reminded that my 3-year-old daughter liked to make cocktails:

[screenshot]

Just like Sally Draper! Speaking of Mad Men, Don’s correct: nostalgia is a potent thing, so I’ve got to stop poking around my phone and get back to work.

Update: I had forgotten this great example about a ghost driver in an old Xbox racing game.
Well, when i was 4, my dad bought a trusty XBox. you know, the first, ruggedy, blocky one from 2001. we had tons and tons and tons of fun playing all kinds of games together — until he died, when i was just 6.

i couldnt touch that console for 10 years.

but once i did, i noticed something.

we used to play a racing game, Rally Sports Challenge. actually pretty awesome for the time it came.

and once i started meddling around… i found a GHOST.

See also this story about Animal Crossing. (via @ironicsans/status/996445080943808512)"
digital  memory  memories  2018  jasonkottke  kottke  traces  animalcrossing  videogames  games  gaming  flickr  wifi  marcinwichary  death  relationships  obsolescence  gmail  googlhangouts  googlechat  iphone  ios  macos  nostalgia  xbox  nintendo  messages  communication  googlemaps  place  time  chrome 
2 days ago by robertogreco

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