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soph on Twitter: "during middle school, my stepdad used to leave me a note on my door each day to inspire me. well, I kept those notes & It’s been 6 years since then. today I gave him those notes back🥰 #HappyFathersDay… https://t.co/9aanc99zSl"
during middle school, my stepdad used to leave me a note on my door each day to inspire me. well, I kept those notes & It’s been 6 years since then. today I gave him those notes back #HappyFathersDay
parenting  inspirational  via:ramitsethi 
4 hours ago by eaconley
For all the men that believed their body wasn’t good enough and then achieved the ideal body type they wanted. What changed in your life after that point? : AskMen
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, treats you differently. The weird thing is, no one will admit this.

Imagine being born on some alien planet, with blue skin. 10% of the population have green skin. People constantly say that blue and green are equal, that both are beautiful, and there's no difference in value, aesthetics, or the way you'll be treated. Except, everyone treats green people with more respect, offers them more affection and care, listens to them, notices them. They have more friends, and have no trouble finding a mate (or multiple). The whole time, people profess that both are equally valuable and valid.

This is what it's like being fat. When you lose weight, and become big and muscular (I'm a guy), literally EVERYONE treats you better. You get stared at, compliments, easy access to sex, people want to be your friend. Some studies even suggest physically attractive people are more likely to be offered jobs. You're more likely to be treated well by strangers. Women respect you AND desire you. Fat/skinny men might be negative out of jealousy but that's it. Most of them look to you for advice.

Yet, the whole time, people refuse to admit the difference.
attraction  dating  relationships  myths  lies  truth  health  via:ramitsethi 
4 hours ago by eaconley
How to parent more predictably (2018) | Hacker News
One thing I think my parents did right was never telling me in the heat of the moment how I would be punished. I knew how I was supposed to behave, and they let me know when I was not living up to the standard, but if they decided to punish me, I wouldn't find out right away what my punishment would be. The only exception was trivial punishments like being sent to my room or having something taken away for a few hours, or if the behavior problem was ongoing and they had time away from me to talk between themselves and decide what would be appropriate to threaten me with.
This accomplished two things. First, they never had to back down on a punishment, because they were careful to only threaten me with things they could stand behind. That meant I never felt any urge to misbehave to call their bluff. Proving parents wrong is irresistible to kids, so if you threaten a punishment you can't follow through on, you've just given them a reason to do the thing you're told them not to. Even if you punish them in another way, it's worth it just to prove you wouldn't do what you said.

Second, it forced me to actively imagine what an appropriate punishment would be. To get into their heads and imagine how they would punish me, I had to think about why my behavior was wrong from their point of view. Kids spend a lot of time arguing against their parents, in their heads as well as out loud, and I think many kids don't have enough occasion to go through the opposite process of thinking with their parents to try to predict their behavior.
parenting  via:ramitsethi 
2 days ago by eaconley
The Worst Waiter in History
"You [stupid]? No coke!! Tea Only!! No sweet and sour!! You see on menu?!! You get house special chow fun...No fork, chopstick only...What you want, fat man?" Another customer, Lou Sideris, once tried to order the “fried shrimp,” an item nearly double the price of anything else on the menu. “No! It’s a rip-off!” yelled Edsel. Sideris and his friends would return many times over the years, each time attempting to order the shrimp, and each time being furiously denied by Edsel.
interesting  customerservice  restaurants  via:ramitsethi 
3 days ago by suspension
Opinion | On Motherhood and ‘This One Thing That People Don’t Share’ - The New York Times
It felt slightly illicit to listen in the control room, alongside an editor and a producer, as Joni exposed her private shame, fear and disappointment. Yet it was also revelatory to hear how this woman’s anxieties had warped her assumptions about how the world sees her. I remember the identity crisis of new parenthood, and how easy it is to imagine that others are evaluating you as harshly as you’re evaluating yourself. But even in novels, I’m not sure I’ve ever had such a distinct sense of what that experience feels like inside someone else’s head.

Later, Sacks pointed out to me that I’d just seen, in miniature, the psychological dynamic behind the so-called mommy wars, merciless, no-win public competitions over the best way to raise a child. “Everyone’s always insecure they’re doing something wrong, and the stakes are so high — you don’t want to mess up your kids — so you’re constantly projecting your insecurities onto other people,” she said. The result is the widespread feeling of aggrieved defensiveness that dominates many cultural conversations about parenthood.
gender  parenting  secret  interesting  podcasts  via:ramitsethi 
8 days ago by suspension
The restaurant owner who asked for 1-star Yelp reviews
Soon, he came to a realization: “What if I don’t give a shit about reputation? What if I take away their power by actually making it worse?”

One morning in September of 2014, he placed a simple sign in front of Botto Bistro: Give us a one star review on Yelp and get 25% off any pizza! Hate us on Yelp. (The discount was later increased to 50%.)
trolls  via:ramitsethi 
8 days ago by suspension
The restaurant owner who asked for 1-star Yelp reviews
Soon, he came to a realization: “What if I don’t give a shit about reputation? What if I take away their power by actually making it worse?”

One morning in September of 2014, he placed a simple sign in front of Botto Bistro: Give us a one star review on Yelp and get 25% off any pizza! Hate us on Yelp. (The discount was later increased to 50%.)
trolls  via:ramitsethi 
8 days ago by eaconley
Fears grow over 'food swamps' as drugstores outsell major grocers | US news | The Guardian
In a 2016 study, researchers stocked corner stores in “food swamps” across East Los Angeles with affordable produce, hoping to test whether food retail interventions could be successful. They weren’t. While perceptions of the stores and community accessibility changed, patrons continued to purchase processed food instead of the fresh stuff.

“Simply making the fruits and vegetables available is not enough,” McCarthy says. “Part of the challenge is increasing the range of acceptable fruit and vegetable sources,” so that shoppers have exposure to produce that is familiar to them. His research indicates that people won’t buy what they don’t have experience eating or preparing.
culture  food  weight  health  myths  via:ramitsethi 
14 days ago by eaconley
How do I (50/f) tell my longtime 20 plus years, friend (50/f) that I would like to back off from our friendship? : relationships
"That just won't work for us." For some reason this magical phrase gets through to people that they aren't going to get their way.
boundaries  via:ramitsethi 
14 days ago by eaconley
My (22f) boyfriend (22m) have such different food tastes its putting a strain on our relationship : relationships
"I found out he was pretty picky from the beginning and I told him that was a turn off because I love food especially spicy and different foods.

He assured me that he would try anything with me and I believed him. Turns out hes pickier than anyone I ever met and when it came down to it he refused to try anything with me and this includes basic tex mex and basic Asian foods. Saying that he couldn't eat this stuff because it will make him throw up.

He will only eat basic American foods so basically any restaurant that has burgers because he only eats well done plain burgers or plain chicken sandwiches, there's a lot of American foods he doesn't care to eat because there's a lot of basic Ingredients he doesn't like."

Real talk: you wouldn't be breaking up over something as simple as food. What's going on here is an incompatibility in values. Food is a manifestation of this right now. Sharing an experience with your partner is something that's clearly a huge deal to you, but it's not to him. If you continue this relationship, you'd probably see the pattern repeating:

-You want to try a new experience together.

-He says he'll do it

-He doesn't.

-He sulks.

This isn't a bad reason to break up - it's what this early relationship phase is for, discovering if you're on the same page. And it seems like you're not.
money-relationships  via:ramitsethi 
14 days ago by eaconley
The Naval Podcast - Productize Yourself - Podcast Notes
The whole How to Get Rich (without getting lucky) tweet storm can be summed up with the phrase “productize yourself”
Productize = leverage + specific knowledge
Yourself = uniqueness + accountability + specific knowledge
Whenever you’re doing anything in business, if you’re looking towards the long-term of getting wealthy, you should ask yourself:
“Is this authentic to me?”
“Is it myself that I’m projecting? Am I productizing it?”
“Am I scaling it with labor or with capital or with code or with media?”
“You want to figure out what you’re uniquely good at, or what you uniquely are, and apply as much leverage as possible” – Nivi
monetization  via:ramitsethi 
14 days ago by suspension
I (32M) have been taking care of my wife (F27) and two kids financially through her last two years of her university and job hunt. I found her a better paying job than mine through my sister and she refuses to help financially. : relationship_advice
All my money is her money as I don't see any issue with taking care of her and my kids in fact I love spoiling them to the best of my ability and have not been able to have any meaningful savings. She gets paid monthly and the first three months she sent all her money to her parents who are not rich but don't really need any financial help as they are far ahead of us. This month I decided to talk to her about savings and contributing towards our family, maybe half of her paycheck, she immediately got defensive and we had our first major (MAJOR!) fight and she absolutely refuses to discuss how she'll spend her money with me. Also she's on maternity leave so she's never set foot in her place of work yet as they've given her five months off because just gave birth to our second child when she got the job offer. So.. Yeah, how do I handle this?
money-relationships  via:ramitsethi 
17 days ago by eaconley
Opinion | The Surprising Benefits of Relentlessly Auditing Your Life - The New York Times
We tend to think that good marriages and happy families are born of love and care, not spreadsheets. But what if that’s wrong?
analytics  relationships  self-development  via:ramitsethi 
20 days ago by eaconley
My Lai massacre hero Hugh Thompson on being shunned - BBC News
US military helicopter pilot Hugh Thompson helped stop one of the most infamous massacres of the Vietnam War.

In an interview first broadcast in 2004, Hardtalk's Tim Sebastian spoke to Mr Thompson about how it affected his life and whether he could forgive the soldiers involved in the massacre.

Mr Thompson and his crew found US soldiers killing civilians at the village of My Lai on 16 March 1968.

He put his helicopter down between the soldiers and the villagers and ordered his men to shoot their fellow Americans if they attacked the civilians.

He also called in support from other US helicopters, and together they airlifted at least nine Vietnamese civilians - including a wounded boy - to safety.

Little was known about Mr Thompson’s actions for decades.
inspirational  truth  courage  via:ramitsethi 
20 days ago by eaconley
My wife [27F] wants to quit her job and return to minimum wage. [29M] : relationship_advice
The problem is she doesn't enjoy the job anymore and wants to throw away her career to take up holistic healing.

This bothers me for two reasons. Firstly, I don't believe in any of this woo. Crystals, healing energy, etc, I consider it all nonsense. And that's fine if she's interested in it as a hobby, and I'm even happy to be her practice subject when she needs one, but ultimately I somewhat look down on this stuff, to me it's all just a scam that preys on people who lack critical thinking skills. I'm sorry if I insult anyone here but that context is important to understanding my frustration.

Secondly, she wants to drop her career and practice this stuff full time. I've done my own research, calling out to places that offer this service, asking about price, asking about availability to see how many bookings they actually have, considering the cost of their rental space, etc, and the outlook aint great. It amounts to about minimum wage or less, and that number seems consistent with job postings for similar roles. We would be taking a huge hit to our family income which would put most of the financial responsibilities squarely on my shoulders.

She talks about dreams of owning a place, having kids, all of that in the coming years and I'm not sure how to explain it to her that this move is not congruent with realizing any of these dreams. We mathematically cannot afford a home in this city with that reduced income, and the minute kids arrive on the scene we'd have to leave. This would mean I have to leave a well paying job that I enjoy, leave my friends, etc.
money-relationships  via:ramitsethi 
22 days ago by eaconley
Parents of reddit, what's something that you think teenagers of reddit need to hear? : AskReddit
I'm a senior in college (about to graduate!) and I'm taking this weird (but very fun) elective dance class. One of the warm-ups we do is this partner activity where you sort of give each other a mini massage. It's a small class where I know everyone, besides which we choose our own partners so it's not like you're going to end up with someone who you don't want to touching you, but our professor has this rule that you have to say no at least once during the warm-up. Even if you're not necessarily uncomfortable, just pick a time and tell your partner to stop. She says it's because we don't get enough practice saying no in our lives, but it's an important skill. And she's right, even when I'm given full permission, I find it hard to tell people to stop, just because I'm so used to being polite and always saying yes.
boundaries  mastermind-programming  via:ramitsethi 
29 days ago by eaconley
Does anyone else take notes by observing the habits of thin people? : loseit
I work in an office with people who have managed to stay thin through years of sitting at a desk. I couldn't even get thin at a job where I walked all day because my eating habits were so bad. Something I notice about the thin people in my office are that they really only eat when they feel like they need to. A girl a few desks over from me had a package of cinnamon sugar pecans one day. She ate a few, then closed them and sat them back on her desk until the next day. Before I started my lifestyle change, I would have devoured the entire package of those things if I had some. I was getting coffee one morning and someone brought a couple boxes of donuts. As I'm getting my coffee, I see a guy (a thin guy) walk past the donuts without even taking a look, almost as if he knew he didn't actually need to eat that donut if he wasn't hungry for one. When eating out with friends, my thinner friends will only eat until they are full, they won't eat an entire meal plus appetizers. These are all things I took note of when I decided to change my eating habits and it has helped a ton. Just curious if anyone else has also done this also!
secret-scents-of-success  weight  psychology  via:ramitsethi 
4 weeks ago by eaconley

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