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Adolescents of the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study: Sexual Orientation, Sexual Behavior, and Sexual Risk Exposure
“A long-term study of children raised by lesbians found that these children were less likely to suffer from physical and sexual abuse than were their peers who were raised by heterosexuals. This is thought to be due to the absence of adult heterosexual men in the households (Gartrell, Bos, & Goldberg, 2010). Girls raised by lesbians tend to have higher self-esteem, show more maturity and tolerance than their peers, and are older when they have their first heterosexual contact (Gartrell et al., 2005, 2010). Children raised by same-sex parents seem to be less constrained by traditional gender roles; boys are less aggressive, and girls are more inclined to consider nontraditional careers, such as doctor, lawyer, or engineer (Gartrell et al., 2005; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001). Over the course of more than 20 years, scientists studied the psychological adjustment of 78 teenagers who were raised by lesbian mothers. Compared to age-matched counterparts raised by heterosexual parents, these adolescents were rated higher in social, academic, and total competence, and lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggression, and externalizing problem behavior (Gartrell & Bos, 2010). There are fewer studies of children raised by two men, but gay fathers are more likely than straight fathers to put their children before their career, to make big changes in their lives to accommodate a child, and to strengthen bonds with their extended families after becoming fathers (Bergman, Rubio, Green, & Padrone, 2010).”
children  lesbian  parents  gay  good 
5 weeks ago by Quercki
Trump admin's 'tent cities' cost more than keeping migrant kids with parents
WASHINGTON — The cost of holding migrant children who have been separated from their parents in newly created "tent cities" is $775 per person per night, according to an official at the Department of Health and Human Services — far higher than the cost of keeping children with their parents in detention centers or holding them in more permanent buildings.

The reason for the high cost, the official and several former officials told NBC News, is that the sudden urgency to bring in security, air conditioning, medical workers and other government contractors far surpasses the cost for structures that are routinely staffed.

It costs $256 per person per night to hold children in permanent HHS facilities like Casa Padre in Brownsville, Texas. And keeping children with their parents in detention centers like the one run by U.S. Customs and Immigration Enforcement in Dilley, Texas cost $298 per resident per night, according to an agency estimate when it awarded the contract for the facility in 2014.

At those prices, the additional cost to operate a 400-bed temporary structure for one month at capacity would be more than $5 million. The average stay for separated kids is nearly two months.
refugee  immigration  children  cost  $775/day 
12 weeks ago by Quercki
(10) Angie Buchanan - Wow. Here’s your back up for the arguments about...
Michelle Martin, PhD Cal State Fullerton summed up the most important FACTS:

There is so much misinformation out there about the Trump administration's new "zero tolerance" policy that requires criminal prosecution, which then warrants the separating of parents and children at the border. Before responding to a post defending this policy, please do your research...As a professor at a local Cal State, I research and write about these issues, so here, I'll make it easier for you:

Myth: This is not a new policy and was practiced under Obama and Clinton - FALSE. The policy to separate parents and children is new and was instituted on 4/6/2018. It was the brainchild of John Kelly and Stephen Miller to serve as a deterrent for undocumented immigration, approved by Trump, and adopted by Sessions. Prior administrations detained migrant families, but didn’t have a practice of forcibly separating parents from their children unless the adults were deemed unfit.…/press-rele…/file/1049751/download…
children  refugees  separate  ICE  Trump  2019  facts 
july 2019 by Quercki
How Inuit Parents Raise Kids Without Yelling — And Teach Them To Control Anger : Goats and Soda : NPR
What Briggs documented is a central component to raising cool-headed kids.

When a child in the camp acted in anger — hit someone or had a tantrum — there was no punishment. Instead, the parents waited for the child to calm down and then, in a peaceful moment, did something that Shakespeare would understand all too well: They put on a drama. (As the Bard once wrote, "the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.")

"The idea is to give the child experiences that will lead the child to develop rational thinking," Briggs told the CBC in 2011.

In a nutshell, the parent would act out what happened when the child misbehaved, including the real-life consequences of that behavior.

The parent always had a playful, fun tone. And typically the performance starts with a question, tempting the child to misbehave.

For example, if the child is hitting others, the mom may start a drama by asking: "Why don't you hit me?"

Then the child has to think: "What should I do?" If the child takes the bait and hits the mom, she doesn't scold or yell but instead acts out the consequences. "Ow, that hurts!" she might exclaim.

The mom continues to emphasize the consequences by asking a follow-up question. For example: "Don't you like me?" or "Are you a baby?" She is getting across the idea that hitting hurts people's feelings, and "big girls" wouldn't hit. But, again, all questions are asked with a hint of playfulness.
Inuit  children  parenting  anger  psychology 
march 2019 by Quercki
40 Multicultural Children's Books About Fabulous Female Artists | Colours of Us
What better opportunity to put the spotlight on some of the fabulous female artists from past and present than Women’s History Month! In this list of multicultural children’s books, I am using the term “artist” in a broader sense here, and have included not only painters, sculptors and performing artists but also architects and a fashion designer, and more.
40 Multicultural Children’s Books About Fabulous Female Artists
books  children  shopping 
december 2018 by Quercki
6 Mistakes We Make Raising Sons - Kids Books To Prevent Sexual Assault - Books For Littles
Parents of sons, we need to talk

Look around at all those little girls in your son’s school playground. Those girls whose names you know, who go to school with your boys. The fierce ones, the shy ones, the messy ones, and that one with her shoes on the wrong feet.
Every single one of those girls will be sexually assaulted or harassed before she’s 20.

Every. Single. One.

RAINN’s 1 in 6 women experiencing ‘rape or attempted rape’ statistic doesn’t count unreported assaults. Nor does it count slaps on the ass while waitressing. It doesn’t include being followed home on a dark night. It doesn’t include the lovers and friends shaming them into sex they don’t want. It doesn’t include rape threats for being a female gamer/writer/zookeeper/anything.

This doesn’t count the 1 in 33 men and boys who report sexual assault, and the many more who don’t feel safe enough to do so.

This is our normal. This is the rape culture we perpetuate when we let toxic masculinity become someone else’s problem.

This is our responsibility to change. Learn to identify the mistakes we make as parents – and how to change what we expect from our boys.
children  books  solution  toxic  masculinity  sexual_assault  todo 
october 2018 by Quercki
Oakland organization celebrates 40 years of prison policy reform and legal advocacy | Oakland North
LSPC was originally founded as an organization for women who were in prison. “Legal Services for Prisoners with Children was originally the Network of Women in Prison,” said communications coordinator Mark Fujiwara. “The original focus was on a small population of women who were overlooked, underserved and unnoticed, women who had families. Over time the organization made the decision to help incarcerated people instead of just women.”

There were three guest speakers at the gala: Journalist Mark Hill of BET News, Vonya Quarles, the executive director of Starting Over Inc., and Michelle Alexander, author of the book The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness. Each spoke about the work they’re doing to advocate for alternatives to prison and the idea that it is not the only form of punishment that can be used.

Mark Hill, in particular, spoke about abolishing prisons and creating a new way for the justice system to respond when someone has done something wrong. “We have to get rid of this idea that justice means punishment. Our idea is that justice means punishment and for too many of us punishment means confinement.
prison  Oakland  justice  family  children 
october 2018 by Quercki
Lead: America’s Real Criminal Element – Mother Jones
The biggest source of lead in the postwar era, it turns out, wasn’t paint. It was leaded gasoline. And if you chart the rise and fall of atmospheric lead caused by the rise and fall of leaded gasoline consumption, you get a pretty simple upside-down U: Lead emissions from tailpipes rose steadily from the early ’40s through the early ’70s, nearly quadrupling over that period. Then, as unleaded gasoline began to replace leaded gasoline, emissions plummeted.

Gasoline lead may explain as much as 90 percent of the rise and fall of violent crime over the past half century.
Intriguingly, violent crime rates followed the same upside-down U pattern. The only thing different was the time period: Crime rates rose dramatically in the ’60s through the ’80s, and then began dropping steadily starting in the early ’90s. The two curves looked eerily identical, but were offset by about 20 years.

So Nevin dove in further, digging up detailed data on lead emissions and crime rates to see if the similarity of the curves was as good as it seemed. It turned out to be even better: In a 2000 paper (PDF) he concluded that if you add a lag time of 23 years, lead emissions from automobiles explain 90 percent of the variation in violent crime in America. Toddlers who ingested high levels of lead in the ’40s and ’50s really were more likely to become violent criminals in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s.
crime  lead  poisoning  children 
may 2018 by Quercki
A Deeper Look at the Whole School Approach to Behavior | MindShift | KQED News
Essien got all his teachers trained in de-escalation tactics. They learned about how nonverbal communication, tone, volume, cadence, word choice and proximity work to either escalate or de-escalate a situation. Now, when a teacher sees that a student has become escalated, rather than engaging with her and potentially worsening the situation, teachers pick up the phone, call the office for a push-in, and go back to teaching. The support staff all carry walkie-talkies where they receive the call and they respond on a rotation.

“The idea of going to the room and the push-in is to help the teacher repair the damage, the harm that has been done, the disturbance, whatever you want to call it, in the class,” said Antoinette Marracq, who was head counselor at MLK during this transition. When support staff show up in class they can either take over supervising the lesson so the teacher can step out into the hallway and resolve the issue with the student, or intervene themselves. The hope is to help de-escalate the situation and get the student back into class and learning.
school  children  behavior  education  solution  restorative  justice 
march 2018 by Quercki
Gun-Violence Protests Drew an Estimated 1 Million Students - WSJ
By Arian Campo-Flores
Updated March 15, 2018 7:41 a.m. ET
At 10 a.m., 1,000 students walked out of Stuyvesant High School in New York City. An hour later, 2,800 filed out of Curie Metropolitan High School in Chicago. An hour after that, 1,000 went to the capitol in Boise, Idaho. And an hour after that, 1,000 walked out of Hamilton High School in Los Angeles, with signs that read “Am I next?”

In a wave across the country Wednesday morning, students voted with their feet to protest government inaction on gun control. Nearly 1 million students took part in protests, which included...
gun  violence  children  protest  locked_article 
march 2018 by Quercki
OHCHR | Statement on Visit to the USA, by Professor Philip Alston, United Nations Special Rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights*
2. My visit coincides with a dramatic change of direction in US policies relating to inequality and extreme poverty. The proposed tax reform package stakes out America’s bid to become the most unequal society in the world, and will greatly increase the already high levels of wealth and income inequality between the richest 1% and the poorest 50% of Americans.  The dramatic cuts in welfare, foreshadowed by the President and Speaker Ryan, and already beginning to be implemented by the administration, will essentially shred crucial dimensions of a safety net that is already full of holes.  It is against this background that my report is presented.

3. The United States is one of the world’s richest, most powerful and technologically innovative countries; but neither its wealth nor its power nor its technology is being harnessed to address the situation in which 40 million people continue to live in poverty.
poverty  U.S.  U.N.  report  taxes  homelessness  children  dental  healthcare 
december 2017 by Quercki
Ana Mardoll's Ramblings: Prairie Fires: Chapters 1-5 Little House on the Prairie
This book is too nice. Like, what do you do with sentences like this? "Charles Ingalls had labored to improve land that was not his own... He gained nothing from it." He stole valuable trees to build an unwanted shack on someone else's land. I have no pity for him. If someone moves into my backyard, cuts down my trees to build a shack, and tries to oust me from my home, I'm not like "ah, this person's labor improved my land". Because, like, it didn't.

The government didn't even force him out like Laura thought! The government backed the white people! Charles either left because he misunderstood or (more likely) because he didn't have the cash to pay the government for the land he was squatting on.
Laura_Ingalls_Wilder  Native_American  colonialism  children  books 
december 2017 by Quercki
#IndigenousReads by Indigenous Writers: A Children’s Reading List
Indigenous people are very much a part of today’s society. With their stories, Indigenous writers share the range of their lives, past and present, and we hope that you’ll embrace and share their stories. This list of 14 recommended children’s books by Indigenous writers and illustrators was curated by The Conscious Kid Library and American Indians in Children’s Literature, in partnership with Brooklyn Children’s Museum
Indian  Indigenous  Native_American  children  books 
november 2017 by Quercki
British Columbia government forces Vancouver dad to end his kids' free-range city bus rides to school / Boing Boing
There is no minimum age for kids to ride the Vancouver transit system on their own, and Crook gets fan mail from regular bus-riders to tell him what a well-behaved inspiration his kids are.

Then, some anonymous person contacted the Ministry of Children and Family Development to complain that Crook was putting his children in harm's way. A social worker was appointed to look into Crook's case, and Crook presented a wealth of information to show that his kids were safe, Vancouver's buses were safe, and that everything was fine.

In the end, the social worker admitted that Crook was right about everything...and that he'd have to stop letting his kids out of his sight unsupervised, anyway. They couldn't even play in the courtyard of his condo, let alone walk to the corner store, on their own.
free  range  children  transit  bus  jail  parenting 
september 2017 by Quercki
In Oakland, a push for a college-going culture bears fruit - San Francisco Chronicle
When the campaign launched last school year, it offered every low-income student at Oakland High and Coliseum College Preparatory Academy up to $16,000 if they met academic and attendance requirements, applied for federal financial aid and demonstrated community service or leadership. The program added Castlemont High this year.

Down the road, city officials want to see the scholarship program expand to every low-income high school student in the city.

While many universities subtract such scholarships from the financial aid offered to students, the East Bay College Fund has an agreement with the UC and CSU systems, as well as several other colleges, to ensure that doesn’t happen.

Students from high schools that aren’t yet in the Oakland Promise program can still apply for help from the East Bay College Fund, which has provided financial aid and mentoring since 2003 and boasts an 80 percent success rate in getting students to finish college in a six-year period.
Oakland  poor  children  college  scholarship  money 
june 2017 by Quercki
Hayao Miyazaki Picks His 50 Favorite Children's Books | Open Culture
Hayao Miyazaki’s Top 50 Children’s Books

The Borrowers -- Mary Norton
The Little Prince -- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Children of Noisy Village -- Astrid Lindgren
When Marnie Was There -- Joan G. Robinson
Swallows and Amazons -- Arthur Ransome
The Flying Classroom -- Erich Kästner
There Were Five of Us -- Karel Poláček
What the Neighbours Did, and Other Stories -- Ann Philippa Pearce
Hans Brinker, or The Silver Skates -- Mary Mapes Dodge
The Secret Garden -- Frances Hodgson Burnett
Eagle of The Ninth -- Rosemary Sutcliff
The Treasure of the Nibelungs -- Gustav Schalk
The Three Musketeers -- Alexandre Dumas, père
A Wizard of Earthsea -- Ursula K. Le Guin
children  books  gifts 
may 2017 by Quercki
21 Printable Coloring Sheets That Celebrate Girl Power | HuffPost
If you’ve got access to a printer and some art supplies, printable coloring sheets are a great way to feel like one of those crafty Pinterest moms without having to actually know your way around a pair of safety scissors. 

A mom from Huffington Post Parents’ So You Want To Raise A Feminist Facebook group recently asked for “awesome printouts for little future intersectional feminists.” 

So we rounded up some of the best printables that depict famous women known for promoting girl power, from Rosie the Riveter to Michelle Obama. We won’t judge you if you decide to join your kids in coloring these feminist role models.
printables  art  women  history  feminist  children 
may 2017 by Quercki
(4) Liz Henry - So I was trying to explain Anne of Green Gables to...
It makes Anne of Green Gables look like a damn princess. Then I read A Little Bush Maid and was terrified the perfect pony was going to die the whole way through the more feisty the girl was and the more she loved her pony. Spoiler: the pony does not die!!!!!!
107 You, Sara Susanna Moore and 105 others
View 1 more comment

Rachel Chalmers He dies in book two. WE GO HARD
Like · Reply · 9 · May 14 at 12:02pm

Sylvia Kelso replied · 16 Replies

Rachel Holmen I only read the "Little House on the Prairie" series as an adult, and found them enjoyable. And when I read "Little Women" again recently (after reading MARCH by Geraldine Brooks), I was struck by how preachy it was occasionally, but also how it depic...See More
Like · Reply · 3 · May 14 at 12:06pm

Larissa Brown Shapiro replied · 15 Replies

Sue Davis Have you ever read The Road from Coorain? It's a really good memoir of growing up first in the Australian outback and then in the city.
Like · Reply · 2 · May 14 at 12:07pm
girl  children  books  Australia  *** 
may 2017 by Quercki
Julianne & Her Farm Friends (w Lyrics) on Vimeo
Here’s a signally charming vimeo, made by Nancy Bieschke, using snippets of songs from my mother’s [Ruth Seeger, mother of Peggy] songbooks for children. It’s in the style of Peter and the Wolfe but very suitable for very small children and for adults with very small inner children. I loved it.
music  instruments  video  children  Alanna 
february 2017 by Quercki
(Pro-lifer writes:) So you’re thinking of voting for a pro-choice candidate...
By focusing exclusively on the legal components of abortion while simultaneously opposing these family-friendly social policies, the Republican Party has managed to hold pro-life voters hostage with the promise of outlawing abortion, (which has yet to happen under any Republican administrations since Roe v. Wade), while actively working against the very policies that would lead to a significant reduction in unwanted pregnancies. 

So even though I think abortion is morally wrong in most cases, and support more legal restrictions around it, I often vote for pro-choice candidates when I think their policies will do the most to address the health and economic concerns that drive women to get abortions in the first place. For me, it’s not just about being pro-birth; it’s about being pro-life. Every child deserves to live in a home and in a culture that welcomes them and can meet their basic needs. Every mother deserves the chance to thrive. Forcing millions of women to have children they can’t support, or driving them to Gosnell-style black market clinics, will not do. We have to work together—pro-life and pro-choice, Democrat and Republican, conservative Christian and progressive Christian—to create a culture of life that celebrates families and makes it easier to have and raise kids. This is the only way to make our efforts at rarifying abortion truly sustainable.  
abortion  pro-life  pro-choice  children  politics  *** 
october 2016 by Quercki
Talking to Kids About Protesting: 5 Things I Want My Kids to Know — We Stories
Instead of shielding my children from or ignoring these images and conversations I seek to both:

Point out that the way these protestors are treated and talked about is different because of the color of their skin AND expand our conversation and narrative about the act of protesting.                                                 

Here are the things that I want my kids to know:

1. Protesting is a protected right. The Bill of Rights, written in 1789, grants Americans many important rights, which have come to define our nation and anchor some of our shared national values. Protesting is a reflection of two of those important rights: the right to “peaceably assemble” and the right to “petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

2. Protesting is an American tradition. It can be traced back to the beginning of our country’s history and is responsible for our very formation. A notable early protest example is The Boston Tea Party in 1773. Protesting has been a primary and critical way that Americans have stood up against injustice and unfair treatment since our country’s inception.

3. There are examples of protest all over in history AND in the present day. Depending on where you live your children may have the opportunity to witness protests with great frequency and on behalf of a wide variety of issues. Can you imagine how many protests kids living in Washington D.C. observe?! In other locations protestors might be more easily coupled with a particular incident or issue.
protest  demonstration  race  children 
september 2016 by Quercki
Ignite Her Curiosity: 25 Books Starring Science-Loving Mighty Girls / A Mighty Girl | A Mighty Girl
Ignite Her Curiosity:
25 Books Starring Science-Loving Mighty Girls
Posted on January 13, 2016 by Katherine
A great way to encourage girls' interest in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) fields is by sharing stories starring girls and women who love science and technology! Seeing female faces as scientists, whether in the lab or out in the field, is a powerful message to girls that these subjects are open to all. And, while introducing them to real-life women in STEM through biographies is important, fictional stories showing science-loving girls and women are another excellent way to entice girls with the unlimited possibilities before them.

With that in mind, we're showcasing our favorite fictional books for both children and teens starring Mighty Girls who love science, engineering, and math. With options ranging from the fun and fanciful to the more contemplative, you're sure to discover a title to excite every budding scientist or engineer, girls and boys alike — after all, both need to learn that science is for everyone!

If you're looking for books for children and teens about real-life female scientists, you can find dozens of titles in our Science Biographies section. And, for toys and science kits to further support her interests, check out the recommendations in our blog posts: Wrapped Up In Science: Top 40 Science Toys for Mighty Girls and Building Her Dreams: Building and Engineering Toys for Mighty Girls.
children  books  STEM  girls 
september 2016 by Quercki
Why Do We Judge Parents For Putting Kids At Perceived — But Unreal — Risk? : 13.7: Cosmos And Culture : NPR
We understand that kids need to walk and run and climb and jump and play in order to grow up healthy and strong, even though all of those activities involve some physical risk. Developmental psychologists need to do a better job of explaining to policymakers and parents that healthy psychological development, just like healthy physical development, involves some amount of risk.

How To Teach Children That Failure Is The Secret To Success
Children need to explore and experiment and be on their own sometimes in order to develop independence and responsibility and self-efficacy. By keeping them under our direct supervision at all times, we sacrifice that, and we narrow their world in profound ways. Each kid is different, of course, and the people best qualified to decide how much responsibility and independence any given child can handle are that child's parents. Parents' rights to make these decisions should be respected unless there is a clear, immediate and significant risk to the child's safety.
children  risk  free  morality  parenting  society 
august 2016 by Quercki
Dresses - Svaha
Math and Engineering dresses with pockets.
clothes  dress  pockets  STEM  women  children 
august 2016 by Quercki
10 Children's Books That Help White Kids Understand What Children Of Color Are Up Against | Romper
With years of racism, prejudice, and mistreatment of people of color, the need to break it down to children who are not of color is something that is extremely important. For some people, having that conversation of racism and issues with people or children of color may be difficult, so having a few children's books that help white kids understand what children of color are up against help get the point across.

As the aggression between races continues to heighten, there's an extensive amount of history that needs to be explained to children who are not of color to be able to understand why those of color are in the middle of an uphill battle that expands back further than we can really trace. Regardless of what some think, racism is something that is taught to our children, not something that they are born with. Teaching them what it means to be racist, the hurt that it has caused people of color in the past and currently, and the effects that it leaves on both parties is something that holds a great importance.

Whether you're looking for a way to start the discussion on racism or deliver more history on the fight people of color have endured throughout time, these 10 books will help accomplish what you need.
racism  children  books  solution 
august 2016 by Quercki
100 race-conscious things you can say to your child to advance racial justice - Raising Race Conscious Children
In honor of Raising Race Conscious Children’s 100th post, this list lifts a quote from each and every blog post to date, modeling language that has actually been used in a conversation with a child regarding race (and other identity-markers such as gender and class). Through our blog, workshops/webinars, and small group workshop series, we support adults who are trying to talk about race with young children, with the goals of dismantling the color-blind framework and preparing young people to work toward racial justice.
race  discrimination  children  solution 
june 2016 by Quercki
13 Children's Books That Encourage Kindness Towards Others
13 Children’s Books That Encourage Kindness Towards Others
Kindness is one of the most important character traits, but sometimes kids need an extra reminder about the best ways to be kind to others or why kindness matters. These books provide that reminder in creative and appealing ways. Happy reading!
books  kindness  list  children 
march 2016 by Quercki
Why I Created #ObamaAndKids — Vantage — Medium
I came across Pete Souza’s photo of the young boy from the Black History Month celebration. With my son in my arms, I couldn’t help to think about the impact President Obama will have on my son. A young boy, named Mateo Ali Skolnik, whose generation has been forever changed by the presidency of a man named, Barack Hussein Obama.
Obama  children  photos 
february 2016 by Quercki
Mental Health of Transgender Children Who Are Supported in Their Identities | Articles | Pediatrics

OBJECTIVE: Transgender children who have socially transitioned, that is, who identify as the gender “opposite” their natal sex and are supported to live openly as that gender, are increasingly visible in society, yet we know nothing about their mental health. Previous work with children with gender identity disorder (GID; now termed gender dysphoria) has found remarkably high rates of anxiety and depression in these children. Here we examine, for the first time, mental health in a sample of socially transitioned transgender children.

METHODS: A community-based national sample of transgender, prepubescent children (n = 73, aged 3–12 years), along with control groups of nontransgender children in the same age range (n = 73 age- and gender-matched community controls; n = 49 sibling of transgender participants), were recruited as part of the TransYouth Project. Parents completed anxiety and depression measures.

RESULTS: Transgender children showed no elevations in depression and slightly elevated anxiety relative to population averages. They did not differ from the control groups on depression symptoms and had only marginally higher anxiety symptoms.

CONCLUSIONS: Socially transitioned transgender children who are supported in their gender identity have developmentally normative levels of depression and only minimal elevations in anxiety, suggesting that psychopathology is not inevitable within this group. Especially striking is the comparison with reports of children with GID; socially transitioned transgender children have notably lower rates of internalizing psychopathology than previously reported among children with GID living as their natal sex.
transgender  children  mental  health  pediatrics  science  research 
february 2016 by Quercki
Mom Was Called To School After Her Daughter Hit Another Student. Her Response Was Perfect.
(I go to the school and am ushered into the principal’s office. I see my daughter, a male teacher, a female counselor, the principle, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.)
Principal: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”
Me: “Yeah, things get busy in ER. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)
Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”
(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)
do_not_click  pop-under  children  sexual_assault  solution 
january 2016 by Quercki
Trick-or-treating nightmares are urban legends -
Fears of murderous Halloween maniacs also fit in with a broader sense that children were becoming especially weak and vulnerable to danger. Historians of childhood have documented a general shift in the postwar period toward securing, protecting, and controlling children. As Howard Chudacoff has noted, children’s play became increasingly confined and controlled after the 1950s as parents worked to keep their children safe from all manner of harm, both real and imaginary. The rapid transformation of trick or treat exemplifies this trend. After 1960, parents moved quickly to protect children from Halloween dangers, severely curtailing their after-dark movements, imposing supervision where children previously would have been left alone, and claiming the prerogative to examine and confiscate any “suspect” treats or candies. Through the 1970s and 1980s, no Halloween was complete without dire warnings of what might befall a child who enjoyed Halloween without the proper adult protection.
fearmongering  halloween  children  candy  corporations  profit 
october 2015 by Quercki
60+ Resources for Talking to Kids About Racism - Creative With Kids
Talking about race and racism definitely ranks as one of the more difficult topics I’ve had to broach with my kids. While my training as an early childhood educator had given me plenty of experience talking with kids about diversity, I had been given literally no training in talking with kids about racism.

Before having children of my own, I believed that teaching diversity was enough, that I could simply help children value diversity and in doing so avoid having to discuss racism. While we can and should continue to teach and live the principle of valuing diversity, that alone is not enough; unfortunately we are all exposed to racism even though we ourselves do not  agree with such beliefs – even young children are not exempt from its effects.

As Beverly Tatum, an expert on race relations and president of Spelman College puts it,  “… like smog in the air. We don’t breathe it because we like it. We don’t breathe it because we think it’s good for us. We breathe it because it’s the only air that’s available.”
parenting  children  racism  education 
august 2015 by Quercki
Haunting 'Nepal quake victims' photo from Vietnam - BBC News
This must be one of the most shared photos on social media in the wake of the earthquake in Nepal last week.
The haunting picture of two young children hugging each other, the little girl clinging to her brother as if to look for shelter from the outside world, the boy's scared eyes…
It creates a truly heart-wrenching image.
In less than a week, this photo has gone viral on Facebook and Twitter, credited as "Two-year-old sister protected by four-year-old brother in Nepal".
There have been attempts to look for the brother and sister among the earthquake's victims, even calls for donations.
Only, the photo was taken nearly a decade ago in northern Vietnam.
Its real author, Vietnamese photographer Na Son Nguyen, told the BBC: "I took this picture in October 2007 in Can Ty, a remote village in Ha Giang province".
"I was passing through the village but was stopped by the scene of two Hmong children playing in front of their house while their parents were away working in the field."
"The little girl, probably two years old, cried in the presence of a stranger so the boy, who was maybe three years old or so, hugged his sister to comfort her."
"It was both moving and cute, so I quickly made a shot."
photo  children  Nepal  false  Vietnam 
may 2015 by Quercki
NBC News profiles transgender children and their families - Boing Boing
NBC's National Correspondent Kate Snow's series on transgender kids is getting a lot of attention online this week, and for good reason: it's a rare, candid, compassionate take on the reality that trans people are completely normal people, just like people who are not trans.

Below, clips from the series, which includes the story of California Congressman Mike Honda's 8-year-old granddaughter Malisa, whom the world first met when the lawmaker tweeted a photo of her.

"As a proud grandpa of a transgender grandchild," the eight-term Democrat wrote, "I hope she can feel safe at school without fear of being bullied."

Also in this series, the story of Jacob Lemay, who was named Mia at birth. By the time he was two, he was telling his parents, "I'm a boy."

The amazing thing about the families profiled: they love and accept their kids exactly as they are.
gender  parenting  transgender  children 
april 2015 by Quercki
21 Picture Books with Diverse Characters
JULY 29, 2013
In my multicultural folktales lists I mentioned how important it is to read picture books with diverse characters in contemporary settings. There has been a lot of buzz lately about the appalling lack of diversity in children’s books. Over the next few months I’m going to do a few book lists featuring kids books that have people of color as the protagonists and then round them all up at the end (that’s the plan, anyway).  Not to worry, I’m not done with my folktale lists, either.
children  books  pictures  Alanna 
march 2015 by Quercki
25 Contemporary Picture Books To Help Parents, Teachers, And Kids Talk About Diversity
25 Contemporary Picture Books To Help Parents, Teachers, And Kids Talk About Diversity
Talking about race, gender, age, disability and orientation are difficult to talk about with adults in real life. Now, trying talking about all of those things with 5-10 year olds! Not to worry, here are 25 picture books that address these issues….and do it WELL!
books  children  diversity 
january 2015 by Quercki
Children in Oakland march, learn social justice |
Saturday, January 03, 2015
OAKLAND, Calif. (KGO) -- A life lesson is unfolding in the midst of weeks of national protests against police brutality. Parents in the Bay Area tried another tactic on Saturday. They are sharing a message of social justice with the next generation.

Parents wanted to find a way to include their kids in some real life issues regarding social injustice and police brutality. So they took to the streets and made it a teaching moment.

They marched in Oakland's Lakeshore District. These demonstrators are barely old enough to read and write, but wise enough to know the difference between right and wrong. They marched through the Lake Merritt Farmers Market and got lots of attention.

The Colorful Mamas of the 99 Percent organized the march with their kids.

"As a group of parents we were concerned about people being killed by police and backlash happening. As a result, we wanted our kids to be engaged in the discussion," said parent Malika Parker.
BlackLivesMatter  Oakland  children 
january 2015 by Quercki
Peaceful Oakland protesters disperse in time for their naps - SFGate
at this Black Lives Matter march at Eastshore Park near Lake Merritt, the participants read a Dr. Seuss story, ate snacks, got squirmy and then put glitter paint on cut-out stars.
Most of the protesters were still in preschool, with the oldest topping out at age 10, and they all had their parents in tow.
The event, organized by the group Colorful Mamas of the 99%, included a reading of Dr. Seuss’ “Sneetches,” which tells the tale of star-bellied and plain-bellied Sneetches, a satirical story about discrimination and difference.
After story time, the marchers made their own colorful and glittery star, then sang “This Little Light of Mine.”
The event was a marked departure from the late-night, anger-fueled protests in Oakland over the past several weeks, where people took to the streets to demonstrate against police brutality against minorities and specifically against the killing of unarmed black men in Ferguson, Mo., and in New York City.
’Complicated and scary’
The parents who attended the Saturday morning playground event said they wanted to participate in the Black Lives Matter movement with their children, but in an age-appropriate way.
“Many families aren’t ready to explain police violence to their kids and I can understand why, it’s complicated and scary,” said Andrea Ibarra-Tacdol in a statement. “Our families are ready to share stories about differences, to teach our little ones to appreciate the diversity of their friends, and to march with other families who believe that black lives matter.”
BlackLivesMatter  Oakland  children 
january 2015 by Quercki
6 ways to embrace kids' gender differences at school -
"The work that we do is not to make schools safer just for transgender students, but to make schools safe for everyone regardless of where they fall on the gender spectrum," said Kim Westheimer, director of the Human Rights Campaign Foundation Family Project's Welcoming Schools initiative. The program helps schools, such as Garden Oaks Montessori, create an inclusive climate through staff training, policy recommendations, and bullying prevention approaches.
Creating a welcoming environment is an ongoing process that involves various stakeholders from the school community. Here are some steps that educators, parents and advocacy groups recommend for creating a gender inclusive school community.
1. Don't separate children by gender
When it's time to work in groups, experts recommend coming up with alternatives for separating children. The first letters of their last names, birthday months, clothing colors or types of pets they own are just some ways to do it, but many more exist.
Separating by categories other than gender helps children identify and build relationships based on common ground -- or, at the very least, start conversations. In other words, it helps them learn to relate to others based on similarities (and differences) other than gender.
2. Start the day with inclusive language and stick with it
Instead of saying "good morning, boys and girls," experts recommend using broader language to convey a sense of equality and togetherness. Again, a variety of alternatives exist, such "good morning, class" or "good morning, everyone."
Using inclusive language throughout the day reinforces the idea that boys and girls are not limited by their biology to succeed in the same arenas, said Rhonda Thomason with Welcoming Schools. Often, we imply that boys or girls are only good at specific things through the subtle (and not-so-subtle) things we say, or the activities we nudge them toward.
gender  children  transgender  bullying 
october 2014 by Quercki
Picture Books for Pagan Families: Summer Solstice
Mermaid Dance, by Marjorie Hakala, illustrated by Mark Jones
This book consists of a short, sweet narrative about mermaids having a feast for the Summer Solstice under the full moon; the brief text is brought to life with enchanting, imaginative illustrations of the mermaids swimming and enjoying their feast together.  These mermaids are a little more interesting than your standard Disney fare, so they will likely light up the imagination of a child who loves fantasy.  For toddlers and up.
Pagan Notes: The book doesn’t focus much on a deeper meaning to the Summer Solstice, but I always think this is a great festival for partying and having a good time, so the book fits in well!  I liked that the mermaids have diverse hair and skin colors.
Little Night, by Yuyi Morales 
On a warm summer night, Mother Sky gets Little Night bathed, dressed, and ready for play.  Little Night drinks from the Milky Way and wears a dress crocheted from clouds, and she loves to play peek-a-boo with her mama, who searches in all kinds of interesting places for her (like “the stripes of bees”).  The story ends with Little Night tossing the moon up into the sky.  The book is tender and playful and brings the nighttime alive with magic.  For toddlers and up.
Pagan Notes: To me, this book captures the feeling of a long summer sunset, when the evening and twilight seem to linger forever and it doesn’t truly get dark until very late.  I love the Goddess images of Mother Sky and Little Night.
summer  solstice  books  children  Meg_Yardley  Litha 
june 2014 by Quercki
Standing Our Ground: Reproductive Justice for Marissa Alexander
According to Barbara Bloom in her testimony before the Little Hoover Commission in 2004, approximately 70 percent of people in women’s prisons are mothers, and the majority of them were the primary caretakers of their children before they were sent to prison. The over-policing and over-criminalization of pregnant women and mothers is becoming a major issue in this country, and the safety of mothers is at stake.

From women dealing with substance abuse issues, to women living with HIV and AIDS, to women who are abused, incarceration rates among some of the most marginalized communities are increasing and even more harmful legislation is being enacted, causing more women to lose their freedom and thus lose their parental rights.

Incarcerated mothers are leaving behind children to be cared for by family members who are forced to deal with the emotional and financial strains from the addition to their lives, or these now parentless children are left to be raised by the state. But as the report Children of Incarcerated Parents, prepared by the Council on Crime and Justice, notes, children who have imprisoned parents are more likely to end up in the juvenile justice system and prison themselves, which furthers the dismantling of families across the country.

Unlike many of the women who are serving time, Alexander was given a second chance. Last November, due to national attention resulting from statewide protests to repeal the “stand your ground” law, Alexander was released on bond and granted a retrial.​
prison  violence  reproductive_freedom  children  Marissa_Alexander 
april 2014 by Quercki
4 Ways Parents Teach Kids that Consent Doesn't Matter — Everyday Feminism
The third way that we sometimes teach kids that consent isn’t important, is through forced hugs and kisses, and this is all in the guise of teaching politeness. We want them to give Uncle Joe a hug and a kiss when you see him because he is their elder and it is important to respect him in that way and because he wants a hug and a kiss, regardless of how your child is feeling. And the idea being that if they don’t go give Uncle Joe a hug and a kiss, it reflects poorly on you, that your kids are rude or standoffish or whatever. And we worry about that as parents, and so then we end up, you know, whether it’s by force or coercion, getting our kids to hug and kiss someone that they don’t want to.
consent  children  rape.culture  trust  feelings 
april 2014 by Quercki
For Whites (Like Me): On White Kids | Jennifer Harvey
But again, we are able and willing to develop facility and work through discomfort in so many areas parenting springs on us. Race is no different.

So, try this. Imagine the conversations that may have taken place between parents and their black or Latino/a children after Trayvon Martin was killed and George Zimmerman walked. I'd be willing to bet that pat answers were nowhere in site.

This thought experiment doesn't give us the content, but it does show us the standard for the caliber of conversation required of us. If we want our white children to live in a world with more racial justice than the one we live in now, we need to figure out how to have conversations with them as real, thick, painful, resilient, strategic and authentic as the conversations those parents had to have. So that our kids can help build that world.

As much as we love our kids, we can not only want to figure this out. We can figure it out.

Yours in search of substance over sugar,

A Fellow Parent with White Kids
race  parenting  children 
march 2014 by Quercki
Fairy Tales / Folktales - Fiction - Books | A Mighty Girl
A Mighty Girl's collection of empowering fairy tales and folktales starring clever and courageous girls -- without a damsel in distress in sight! For a selection of all princess-related stories on A Mighty Girl, visit our Ultimate Guide to the Independent Princess.
children  girls  books  toys  movies 
february 2014 by Quercki
Daily Kos: What Happens when Poor People get Cash? An Empirical Study.
When the casino opened, Professor Costello had already been following 1,420 rural children in the area, a quarter of whom were Cherokee, for four years. That gave her a solid baseline measure. Roughly one-fifth of the rural non-Indians in her study lived in poverty, compared with more than half of the Cherokee. By 2001, when casino profits amounted to $6,000 per person yearly, the number of Cherokee living below the poverty line had declined by half.

The impact on psychiatric outcomes? By 2003, she was ready to publish. The psychiatric community was still debating whether poverty caused mental health problems or vice versa, so her results, she said, surprised her. What she found was that
The frequency of behavioral problems declined by 40 percent, nearly reaching the risk of children who had never been poor. Already well-off Cherokee children, on the other hand, showed no improvement. The supplements seemed to benefit the poorest children most dramatically.
She continued following the children, and the next time she published her results, she found something even more startling: the earlier these payments arrived in a child's family, the better the child's mental health as he or she grew up.
poverty  solutions  policy  politics  children 
january 2014 by Quercki
10 Quick, Easy Meals for Moms! | The Ugly Volvo
1.  Nothing

No need to worry about food allergies.  Any child can eat nothing!

Your kids haven’t tasted true simplicity until they’ve tasted nothing.   Hit them with this specialty a day after you’ve gone out of your way to make “something” and they’ve refused to eat it.  Nothing can be prepared in literally seconds.
funny  children  recipes  food 
october 2013 by Quercki
Forced sexual contact common among teens, study suggests - NBC
From a hastily forced kiss to outright rape, violent or at least coerced sexual contact may be worryingly common among teens and young adults, researchers reported Monday.

They found 9 percent of youths aged 14 to 21 admitted to some kind of forced sexual contact, using tactics from guilt to threats and actual physical force. Half blamed their victims.

Four percent of the more than 1,000 young men and women surveyed admitted to having raped someone else, the researchers report in the American Medical Association journal JAMA Pediatrics.

But most who tried or completed rape said they didn’t use physical force – 63 percent of those who said they had forced someone to have sex against their will said they used guilt as their main tactic, while 32 percent said they used arguments and other verbal pressure.
rape  teen  children  rape.culture 
october 2013 by Quercki
Traynor's Eye: Meeting A Troll...
The whole thing escalated in June, July and August this year. I received more and more abuse on the timeline and via DMs. A crossword clue account I'd started (@Leo'sClue) was inundated with abuse too.
Then one day something happened that truly frightened me. I don't scare easily but this was vile.

I received a parcel at my home address. Nothing unusual there - I get a lots of post. I ripped it open and there was a tupperware lunchbox inside full of ashes. There was a note included 'Say hello to your relatives from Auschwitz' I was physically sick.

I was petrified.
They had my address.
I reported it to the authorities and hoped for the best.
Two days later I opened my front door and there was a bunch of dead flowers with my wife's old Twitter username on it. Then that night I recieved a DM. 'You'll get home some day & ur b**ches throat will be cut & ur son will be gone.'
I got on to the authorities again but, polite and sympathetic as they were, there didn't seem much that could be done.
Every night for weeks I lost sleep over it. Listening for noises. Opening the door everday with trepidation. Trying to maintain a semblance of normality and not let my wife or son see that I was dying on the inside. Mortified that they might be in danger because of my big mouth or ancestry.

Then the last straw. I received another tweet, on the public timeline this time 'I hope you die screaming but not until you see me p*ss on ur wife'
trolls  abuse  internet  children 
september 2013 by Quercki
The Myth of the Teenage Temptress: Or Why A Young Girl Can Not Consent to Sex With An Adult Man | xoJane
And that's why statutory rape laws exist -- to protect children who need protecting, not just from those who will prey upon them, but from themselves.

The defense argued that Rambold had suffered enough by losing his career, his marriage and his home and suffering a "scarlet letter of the Internet" as a result of publicity about the case.

For my part, I spent the next decade of my life wrestling with demons borne partly of sexual trauma. I became addicted to drugs, risky sex, and alcohol. I still struggle to learn that there are better ways to get attention than with my body, that my sexuality isn't the only thing that makes me worthy of love and attention.

Still, I made it out of my teen years alive; Cherice Morales wasn't so lucky.

What I needed, and what she needed, were strong male role models in my life who knew how the fuck to say "No thanks" to a little girl's come-ons. Because it doesn't matter if a young girl is saying yes, it's an adult man's job to say no.
rape  children  abuse  consent  suicide 
september 2013 by Quercki
To my daughter's high school programming teacher | USENIX
Sadly, you only get one chance to make a first impression, and you, sir, created a horrible one for girls in computer programming.

Did you not see her enthusiasm turn into a dark cloud during the semester? Did you not notice when she quit laughing with and helping her classmates, and instead quickly finished her assignments and buried her nose in a book? What exactly were you doing when you were supposed to be supervising the class and teaching our future programmers?

I'm no teacher, so forgive me if you think I'm out of place when it comes to telling you how to do your job. But I am a mother, and I've spent years encouraging girls and women in IT, so perhaps my perspective will help you. After all, you didn't mean to create a a brogrammer-to-be environment, did you?

Here are seven suggestions for teaching high school computer programming:
solutions  sexism  sexual_harassment  children  STEM 
september 2013 by Quercki
Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son | From One Degree to Another | Nate Pyle
There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into.  One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men.  The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves.  Son, you are better than both of these.  A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention.  You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being.  On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you.  You need to be in control of you.

Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear.  Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control.  In some ways, the church has added to this.  We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous.  We’ve been a taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin.  We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things.  Let’s be clear: a woman’s body is not dangerous to you.  Her body will not cause you harm.  It will not make you do stupid things.  If you do stupid things it is because you chose to do stupid things.  So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.
sexism  children  rape.culture 
september 2013 by Quercki
Another setback for gun owners: brilliant Texas couple shoots and kills 7-year-old for trespassing - Tampa Bay Headlines |
In what can only be viewed as yet another setback for gun owners, a Texas couple shot and killed 7-year-old Donald Coffey, Jr. this week for "trespassing."

Whatever happened to "Don't shoot unless you know what you're shooting at?" A seven-year-old? Seriously? If you feel threatened by an unarmed 7-year-old, I have to tell you, you have no business brandishing a weapon.

Perhaps we should require IQ and vision tests as a prerequisite for gun ownership? Before you say no, did I mention that the same couple shot the boy's five-year-old sister as well? And his father? And a 30-year-old family friend? With a 12-gauge shotgun, no less. And it turns out that the family wasn't even trespassing in the first place.

To gun owners, restrictions on ownership may seem extreme, but those who are truly familiar with gun safety issues can't want stories like this to become the face of their cause.
guns  murder  children  NRA 
july 2013 by Quercki
The Day I Taught How Not to Rape | Accidental Devotional
If you want to keep teens from being rapists, you can no longer assume that they know how. You HAVE to talk about it. There is no longer a choice. It is no longer enough to talk to our kids about the mechanics of sex, it probably never was. We have to talk about consent, what it means, and how you are sure you have it. We have to teach clearly and boldly that consent is (in the words of Dianna E. Anderson) an enthusiastic, unequivocal YES!

What came next, when the idea of a clear yes came up, is the reason I will always choose to teach freshmen. They are still young enough to want to entertain new ideas. When we reversed the conversation from, “well she didn’t say no,” to “she has to say YES!” many of them lit up. “Ms. Norman,” they said, “that does make a lot more sense.” “Ms. Norman,” they exclaimed, “that way leaves a lot less confusion.” When one of the boys asked, well what do you want me to do, get a napkin and make her sign it, about four girls from the back yelled, YEAH!

What happened in Steubenville makes me sick, but we are kidding ourselves if we think that it is not representative of what is happening in basement parties after the homecoming game all across America. Our kids want to talk about it. They need to talk about it. We need to have conversations about consent that are not centered around what should have been done, but are instead centered on what will be done in the future. Our teens can handle it, I promise they can.
rape  rape.culture  education  children  solutions 
june 2013 by Quercki
I Make Up Worlds - The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys'
I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”

She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.

It was so tempting.

He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.

She had to keep her building safe.

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.

Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.

I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.”

Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning.  How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?
rape  children  boys  solution  rape.culture 
may 2013 by Quercki
The Paly Voice — The state of rape today
The following story appeared in Verde Magazine, published on April 9, 2013. The views and opinions expressed in this article are not necessarily representative of that of  The Paly Voice or any of its staff members. This story appears on The Paly Voice per the request of  Verde Magazine.
rape  rape.culture  statistics  children  bayarea 
april 2013 by Quercki
The Paly Voice — Taking it seriously: Ever made a rape joke? This column is for you
When rapists rape, they act on a misogynistic mindset, a perspective that helps them justify their horrible deeds. They consider a woman’s body to be public property, intended to serve others, regardless of what the woman herself wants.

For some rapists, this is a conscious thought process. However, for most rapists, and for far too many people in general, this kind of misogyny is completely internalized — and begins early on in life.

According to information collected by the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, 51 percent of 11 to 14-year-old boys and 41 percent of girls think a man has the right to force a woman to kiss him if he “spends a lot of money on her.” 87 percent of boys and 79 percent of girls of the same age group believe that rape is acceptable if the man and the woman are married.

Much more frighteningly, a survey of college-age men revealed that 35 percent of them would rape someone if they were guaranteed not to get caught.
rape  rape.culture  children  bayarea 
april 2013 by Quercki
The Paly Voice — Breaking the silence: We need to change the way we think about rape
ON AUG. 11, 2012 in Steubenville, Ohio, Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond, two members of the Steubenville  High School football team, brought a drunk 16-year-old girl to several parties and raped her.

On March 17, 2013, Mays and Richmond were convicted of rape. Mays is also guilty of distributing a nude photo of her. Mays will serve at least two years in juvenile detention, while Richmond will spend at least one, and both need to register as sex offenders.

But somehow, some elements of the mainstream media has sympathized with the rapists. Many blamed the girl, saying she should not have gone to the party and gotten drunk.

Such statements create an incredibly negative environment for rape survivors, which makes it next to impossible to recover from the traumatic event.

Rape victims are often afraid or ashamed to come forward and tell someone that they have been raped for fear of getting judged as a lesser person because they are seen as promiscuous, as if they somehow could have caused the rape.

Rape is, by definition an act in which someone is forced to have sex against their will. America needs to reassess the way it views and deals with rape, because without reform, the situation will only get worse.
rape  rape.culture  children  bayarea 
april 2013 by Quercki
The Paly Voice — Introduction to “You can’t tell me I wasn’t raped”
From the Verde Editors:

Most societies don’t talk about rape. We consider it a taboo, conditioning victims to feel ashamed about speaking out and forcing them to deal with the aftermath in silence. But the recent rapes committed in Steubenville, Amherst and New Delhi have forced us to examine how we deal with sexual assault.

Our cover package, to be released on Tuesday, April 9, examines the many facets of rape culture, from victim-blaming to flawed media coverage of rape to the old “boys will be boys” cliché. Lisie Sabbag’s article “‘You can’t tell me I wasn’t raped’” tells the story of two rape victims and the overwhelming lack of support they received from the community. Sabbag also discusses the ways our culture teaches us to perceive rape as inevitable. Be mindful that this story deals with accounts of sexual assault, and may be an emotional trigger for some people. Please read on cautiously. In Will Queen’s piece “Breaking the Silence,”  he offers a male perspective on the lack of discussion surrounding sexual assault. Finally, Savannah Cordova explains why rape jokes aren’t funny in “Taking it Seriously.”

Throughout the process of composing our cover package, our staff strove to practice objective reporting, as discussed in our editorial.
rape  rape.culture  bayarea  children 
april 2013 by Quercki
The Paly Voice — “You can’t tell me I wasn’t raped”
Our cover photo illustration depicts the hurtful comments such as “asking for it” and “slut” that rape victims commonly face. Verde chose to examine rape culture at Palo Alto High School in this issue’s cover package. The model on the cover, as well as those featured in the package, are not connected to any sources in our cover package.  
rape  rape.culture  children  bayarea 
april 2013 by Quercki
Lawyer: Assaulted teen had drawings, name on body - Yahoo! News
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — Awakening in a friend's bedroom after drinking too much at a sleepover, 15-year-old Audrie Pott looked down and realized she had been sexually assaulted and her attackers had written and drawn on intimate parts of her body, her family's attorney said Monday.
Over the next week, she pieced together one horrifying detail after another. She went online and tried to confront the three boys she had known since junior high who she believed had done it.
At school, she saw a group of students huddled around a cellphone and realized that at least one humiliating photo of her was circulating.
"I have a reputation for a night I don't even remember and the whole school knows," she wrote in one Facebook message to a friend.
"I cried when I found out what they did," she wrote in another.
Eight days after the attack, she called and asked her mother to pick her up at school. She said she couldn't deal with it anymore but would not say what was wrong.
And then she hanged herself.
rape  bayarea  children 
april 2013 by Quercki
Oakland Students March to Protest Gun Violence | KQED News Fix
Elementary school students and teachers from New Highland Academy in Oakland marched to the local library Thursday ... with a police escort. They used to take the six-block walk every third Thursday, but gun violence in the neighborhood halted the monthly outings.

The group marched wearing signs around their neck that said "Peace. Love. Books." and chanting, "What do we want? Peace!"

Armed escorts from the Oakland Police Department kept watch.

New Highland Academy teacher Donald Carter said the trips to the library stopped after a shooting near the library last month, which his class heard as they were getting ready for the walk over.

"We heard a series of shots in the distance, toward the library," Carter said. "We decided it would not be wise to continue. We were locked down - the entire school - for over an hour."

Teacher Tracy Dordell recalled a previous library trip when she and her students stumbled across the aftermath of a shooting, one in which a former Academy student was killed.

"We could see the crime scene," she said. "You could see the coroner’s van right there. And we sort of just looked at each other .. . and we were like, what do we do? How do we not let them see?"
Oakland  violence  library  children  schools 
february 2013 by Quercki
Demythologizing Oakland’s pimp culture (Analysis) | Oakland Local
‎"When communities organize around sex trafficking, as was the case with the Int’l Blvd motels, results happen quicker. But concerned individuals can also get involved by volunteering or donating to MISSSEY, BWAR, or Banteay Srei, as well as reporting suspected sex trafficking incidents involving young girls to OPD.

Perhaps the biggest thing we can do, however, is change the culture which says that the sexual exploitation of girls and women—a corollary of pimping—is no big deal."
Oakland  children  sex  prostitution  violence 
january 2013 by Quercki
IntruderAlert Cafe
These are worldwide statistics, except for the cancer and the abuse/neglect stats, which I realized was only for the U.S. after the fact. That being the case, it's even WORSE that American children are 65 times more likely to be murdered by their own parent or a caretaker than children worldwide are likely to be killed in a school shooting.

Stat sources:

1. 15,000,000 children die every year from starvation

2. *260,000 children die every year from car accidents. 830,000 die from all accidents combined.

3. 175,000 children die every year from drowning.

4. 2,800 children die every year from accidents in the home.

5. 2,300 children die every year from cancer.

6. 1,500 children die every year from abuse/neglect. Note this is just the statistic for the United States, which doesn't bode well for children worldwide.

7. 500 children die every year from gun accidents. Teach your children gun safety!

8. 23 children died in 2012 from school shootings. Note this chart includes school shootings for college as well, and I am only including children high school and younger in my total, so 2012's Oikos University shooting was not included in this total. Combined since 1980, 297 people total have been killed in school shootings.

Question why it is that the U.S. government wants to overrule the 2nd amendment in the case of school shootings, but doesn't appear so inclined to even MENTION these other causes of death in youths annually.
children  death  murder  statistics 
december 2012 by Quercki
As reported shootings rise, analyzing gun violence, and its effect on young people, in Oakland | Oakland North
In all, Oakland police received reports of 1,077 shooting incidents in 2011, with 1,594 shooting victims. About 140 of these were minors, and among these 40 were 16-year-olds, the largest subgroup. The overwhelming majority of these shootings were concentrated in East and West Oakland.

While not all shootings are fatal, in 2011 the city saw 91 deaths as the result of gunfire, out of which six people were under age 17.

The data also shows that the majority of both shooters and victims were African American. Most shooters were male, by an overwhelming 1,065 to 482 margin. Among minors, these numbers were 109 to 34.

Using shooting data collected from the Oakland Police Department on December 12, 2012, Oakland North has produced a map showing how many shootings there were in Oakland based on each police beat. The map also displays the number of victims shot and their age, race, and ethnicity. (For information about Oakland’s overall homicide rate in 2011, and a map of where these incidents occurred, see Oakland homicides in 2011: A statistical breakdown.)
Oakland  gun  murder  violence  children 
december 2012 by Quercki
Obsidian Wings: Watering the Tree of Liberty
Another mass shooting, this time in an elementary school in Connecticut. I am ill with horror.

Have some predictions:

The shooter will turn out to be male.
He will turn out to be white.
He will turn out to be angry at a woman, or women in general
If he's angry at an ex (wife or lover), she either works at the school or he murdered her before going to the school.
More than half of the victims will be female.
The weapons will have been obtained legally.
There will be no legislation to make such weapons harder to obtain, stockpile, or use.
Most reliable of all: gun sales will increase, especially for the particular weapons used in the shooting.
I may not be right about all these predictions, but you can take that final one to the bank.
I absolutely think we need to talk about gun violence in America, and after this kind of massacre is no time to hold back. I also think we have to bear in mind that mass murder is different from normal American homicide:

Normal American homicide is black-on-black; mass murder is white-on-white
Normal homicide is male-on-male; mass murder is male-on-majority female
murder  massacre  shooting  misogyny  children 
december 2012 by Quercki
Daily Kos: Here are your parasites and terrorists, m*therf*ckers
Fuck you, Chris Christie, for threatening to freeze teacher pay, among other things. Does this teacher make too much?
Maryrose Kristopik said she barricaded herself in to the closet with the nine and 10-year-olds while gunman Adam Lanza, 20, reportedly battered on the door screaming: ‘Let me in! Let me in!’
Asked about the incident itself, Mrs Kristopik said that you could ‘hear a lot’ of what was going on - and denied that she was a hero.

She said: ‘I called the police, I dialled 911 and they said they had reports of shots in the school, so that's when I had to tell the kids there was a bad person there because I didn't want them to talk.

‘I did what any other teacher would have done and I know there were others like me doing the same. They were doing whatever they could."
teachers  murder  children  politics  heroes 
december 2012 by Quercki
Newtown and the Madness of Guns : The New Yorker
So let’s state the plain facts one more time, so that they can’t be mistaken: Gun massacres have happened many times in many countries, and in every other country, gun laws have been tightened to reflect the tragedy and the tragic knowledge of its citizens afterward. In every other country, gun massacres have subsequently become rare. In America alone, gun massacres, most often of children, happen with hideous regularity, and they happen with hideous regularity because guns are hideously and regularly available.

The people who fight and lobby and legislate to make guns regularly available are complicit in the murder of those children. They have made a clear moral choice: that the comfort and emotional reassurance they take from the possession of guns, placed in the balance even against the routine murder of innocent children, is of supreme value. Whatever satisfaction gun owners take from their guns—we know for certain that there is no prudential value in them—is more important than children’s lives. Give them credit: life is making moral choices, and that’s a moral choice, clearly made.

All of that is a truth, plain and simple, and recognized throughout the world. At some point, this truth may become so bloody obvious that we will know it, too. Meanwhile, congratulate yourself on living in the child-gun-massacre capital of the known universe.
guns  politics  children  murder 
december 2012 by Quercki
China attack illustrates U.S. gun law divide -
Wei Jingru, a primary school student injured in a knife attack, receives medical treatment in a hospital.
"In terms of the U.S., there's much easier availability of killing instruments -- rifles, machine guns, explosives -- than in nearly every other developed country," Dr. Ding said.
"In the United States, we had 9,000 people killed with guns last year, in similar countries like Germany 170 (killed with guns), in Canada 150. There's a reason for that," Rep. Jerrold Nadler, D-New York, told CNN's Piers Morgan.
"The proof in the pudding is that in every other industrialized nation except the United States, they have reasonable gun control laws, and they have hundreds of people killed each year -- not 9,000 or 10,000 a year -- killed by guns."
Analysis: Why gun controls are off the agenda in America
The United States has, by far, the highest rate of gun ownership in the world, with 88.8 guns per 100 people, followed by Serbia (58.2), Yemen (54.8) and Finland/Switzerland (45.7 each), according to, an international database at the University of Sydney.
While nations such as South Africa, El Salvador and Thailand have much higher rates of gun homicides per year, the United States rate of 3.12 deaths per 100,000 people is the highest among industrialized nations.
guns  murder  children  China  U.S. 
december 2012 by Quercki
The Cost of the State’s Division of Juvenile Facilities: Is there incentive for California Counties to serve youth locally?
The Cost of the State’s Division of Juvenile Facilities:
Is there incentive for California Counties to serve youth locally?
The following report is part three of the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice’s (CJCJ) Juvenile Justice
Realignment Series. On February 28, 2011 Governor Jerry Brown revised his proposal for the elimination of the
Division of Juvenile Facilities (DJF).1 The $242 million allocation to California’s 58 counties remains intact
under the new proposal; however, it provides an option for counties to contract with the State for bed space.
Under this proposal, counties would be required to contract with the State on a yearly basis and pay the true cost
of over $200,000 per annum to house a youth at the State’s youth correctional facilities. Currently, California
counties pay a significantly smaller monthly fee to the State to house their juvenile justice involved youth. This
report demonstrates the radical disparity between State and local cost for use of the DJF to house juvenile
While it costs $224,712 per ward, per year to house youth in the DJF, counties contribute on a sliding scale
while the rest is paid for by California taxpayers.2 The scale is determined by offense category; Category 1
being the most severe offenses (e.g. murder, kidnapping) and Category 6 being the least severe offenses (e.g.
concealable firearms, possession of explosives).3
children  prison  Oakland  Alameda  statistics 
november 2012 by Quercki
Alameda County CASA
Alameda County Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) recruits, trains and supports volunteers – people like you and me – to speak and act as advocates for the best interest of abused, neglected and abandoned children and youth in the juvenile courts.
Oakland  Alameda  prison  children  solutions 
november 2012 by Quercki
We are a tribe of parents, educators, business leaders, entrepreneurs, activists, artists, craftspeople, and loving adults coming together in defense of healthy girlhood.

This marketplace provides a safe haven from the commercialisation and sexualisation of girlhood, from the toxic gender stereotypes that dominate the marketing, media, and products targeted to children and young adults.

A place full of gifts that inspire and enable girls to reach for the stars. Offering a venue that motivates and supports artists, business and craftspeople to innovate and explore new products that have the potential to change the world.
shopping  equality  gifts  feminism  children 
november 2012 by Quercki
Moraga School District: Child sex abuse victim was 'careless and negligent' - San Jose Mercury News
By Matthias Gafni Contra Costa Times
Posted:   11/01/2012 12:42:48 PM PDT
Updated:   11/02/2012 06:50:50 AM PDT

Click photo to enlarge

Kristen Lewis Cunnane
MORAGA -- Kristen Cunnane was "careless and negligent" and contributed to her ongoing sexual abuse at the hands of a middle school teacher, the Moraga School District claimed in its first legal response to the UC Berkeley swim coach's lawsuit against the school district and three former administrators.
The district and three other defendants claim Cunnane "was herself responsible for the acts and damages of which she claims," in the Oct. 24 legal filing.
"Carelessness and negligence on (Cunnane's) part proximately contributed to the happenings of the incident and to the injuries, loss and damages," they claim.
When she read the legal response, Cunnane, 30, said she was floored.
"It felt like I got punched in the stomach, and I stood up and thought about how young I was when I was 12 to 13 years old at the school," said Cunnane, whose suit was filed in September. "For them to use words like 'negligent' and 'responsible' just broke my heart."
The school district's attorney said Thursday that the language used as part of its legal stance was appropriate and necessary at the start of such a civil case with significant financial ramifications. The response did not specify how Cunnane was "negligent" or "responsible" for the abuse.
Louis Leone said "every potential defense" must be raised in such legal filings, "since failure to do so results in a waiver of the defense."
bayarea  schools  rape.culture  children  sexual_assault  abuse 
november 2012 by Quercki
School district apologizes to former student for sexual abuse... |
MORAGA, Calif. — A woman suing the Moraga School District on charges of failing to act on her complaints of sexual abuse by teachers in 1996 Wednesday accepted an apology from the district for suggesting she may have been partly to blame for what happened, her lawyer said.
The school district's governing board at its meeting in Moraga Wednesday morning issued a formal apology to Kristen Cunnane for charging in its answer to her suit that she may have been "careless and negligent" prior to the alleged abuse.
"The Governing Board and its attorneys, Stubbs and Leone, apologize to Ms. Cunnane for any anxiety or distress caused by the inclusion of this defense in its response to her pleading," the district stated.
The district board will "withdraw the defense of comparative fault and any assertion of carelessness or negligence on the part of Ms. Cunnane" from its defense pleadings, according to the statement.
rape.culture  apology  children  abuse  sexual_assault  schools  bayarea 
november 2012 by Quercki
Lafayette School District says 14-year-old child abuse victim may bear some responsibility - San Jose Mercury News
"Think about how today's families will feel if this is how they think school officials are going to respond were one of their children abused by school employees," he said.
Moraga School District trustees met in a closed session special meeting called Friday morning to discuss the Kristen Cunnane case, less than 24 hours after this newspaper's latest story about her case from the 1990s appeared online. Moraga Superintendent Bruce Burns, who said no action was taken at that meeting, released a statement late Friday afternoon.
"We certainly empathize with Ms. Cunnane and did not intend to cause her further distress," according to the statement. "However, this is a significant case that could have serious consequences for our school district. She is demanding several million dollars in damages."
Burns said the district raised nine possible arguments that might be used in court, and that the media have seized on only one, and "overexaggerated its importance."
No dollar amount is listed in Cunnane's lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages.
"I haven't demanded any amount of money since filing the lawsuit," said Cunnane, now 30 and an assistant coach with Cal women's swim team. "I think it's for a jury to decide.
"It's really hard to hear that they think I'm seizing and overexaggerating the importance. They don't know how hard it is to be me and how hard I cried when I originally read it."
children  abuse  sexual_assault  schools  rape.culture  law  bayarea 
november 2012 by Quercki
Moraga school trustees, attorneys apologize to sex abuse victim -
By Matthias Gafni Contra Costa Times
Posted:   11/07/2012 12:51:29 PM PST
Updated:   11/08/2012 10:56:51 AM PST

Click photo to enlarge

File: Kristen Cunnane, an assistant coach on the California swim team at Haas Pavilion in...
Petition calling for Moraga school district to apologize for blaming sex abuse victim gains ground
Moraga School District's legal response to sex abuse victim's lawsuit
Moraga School District: Child sex abuse victim was 'careless and negligent'
Women file $30 million claims against Moraga school district over sex abuse scandal
Document: Jane Doe No. 2 claim against Moraga School District
Document: Jane Doe No. 1 claim against Moraga School District
MORAGA -- School district trustees on Wednesday apologized to a former student for saying in legal papers that she may have borne some responsibility for the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of former teachers.
School board members, stung by public outcry that the legal language was part of those filings, also directed their attorneys to withdraw the offending language from those papers.
The papers were filed in response to a lawsuit brought by Kristen Cunnane, a Cal women's swim assistant head coach and Walnut Creek resident. She sued the district and three former administrators for negligence, fraudulent concealment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Cunnane, 30, claims her abuse by two Moraga intermediate school teachers in the 1990s was caused by administrators repeatedly ignoring allegations of abuse.
In the district's Oct. 24 legal response to Cunnane's suit, it stated two "affirmative defenses" to her allegations. In one, the district, said Cunnane "was herself careless and negligent in and about the matters alleged in the complaint, and that said carelessness and negligence on said Plaintiff's part proximately contributed to the happenings of the incident ..."
The other stated, "Defendants allege that (Cunnane) was herself responsible for the acts and damages of which she claims ... "
All of that wording has been removed from the district response, board Vice President Charles MacNulty announced after

the trustees finished a four-hour special closed session meeting Wednesday.
"The governing board and its attorneys, Stubbs and Leone, apologize to Ms. Cunnane for any anxiety or distress caused by the inclusion of this defense in its response to her pleading," he said.
abuse  schools  rape.culture  apology  bayarea  children 
november 2012 by Quercki
Moraga School District: Child sex abuse victim was 'careless and negligent' -
MORAGA -- Kristen Cunnane was "careless and negligent" and contributed to her ongoing sexual abuse at the hands of a middle school teacher, the Moraga School District claimed in its first legal response to the UC Berkeley swim coach's lawsuit against the school district and three former administrators.
The district and three other defendants claim Cunnane "was herself responsible for the acts and damages of which she claims," in the Oct. 24 legal filing.
"Carelessness and negligence on (Cunnane's) part proximately contributed to the happenings of the incident and to the injuries, loss and damages," they claim.
When she read the legal response, Cunnane, 30, said she was floored.
"It felt like I got punched in the stomach, and I stood up and thought about how young I was when I was 12 to 13 years old at the school," said Cunnane, whose suit was filed in September. "For them to use words like 'negligent' and 'responsible' just broke my heart."
The school district's attorney said Thursday that the language used as part of its legal stance was appropriate and necessary at the start of such a civil case with significant financial ramifications. The response did not specify how Cunnane was "negligent" or "responsible" for the abuse.
victim-blaming  abuse  children  rape  schools 
november 2012 by Quercki
Lafayette School District says 14-year-old child abuse victim may bear some … | Caring For Our Children Foundation
The same boilerplate legal language that claimed a child victim of sex abuse may bear some responsibility for her abuse at the hands of a former Moraga middle schoolteacher is part of a Lafayette schools case involving the sexual abuse of a 14-year-old girl.

Louis Leone, the attorney representing the Lafayette School District in that case, claimed “Jane Doe” — who sued the district, Superintendent Fred Brill, Stanley Principal David Schrag and former teacher Michael Merrick earlier this year — “was herself careless and negligent in and about the matters alleged in the complaint, and that said carelessness and negligence on (Jane Doe’s) part proximately contributed to the happenings of the incident and to the injuries, loss and damages.”

Jane Doe’s attorney is livid.

“It is grossly insensitive to impute any degree of responsibility to a child, particularly with respect to matters of sexual abuse and exploitation,” Rick Madsen said Friday.

Leone said the language was needed at the start of a civil case with significant financial ramifications for the school district, and that “all possible affirmative defenses” must be raised or they risk waiving that option.

The Moraga School District superintendent echoed that sentiment Friday, saying in a news release that a lawsuit against his district could cost “millions” and that the defense mentioned in this newspaper’s article was only one of nine potential defense areas and that

the news media “overexaggerated its importance.”

A UC Berkeley tort law expert said while such a defense can be used, to include it in a case involving a child is “implausible” and a tactic that could backfire. Many Lamorinda residents railed against the legal tactic Friday, including some in online comments to local media.
abuse  rape  children  schools  victim-blaming 
november 2012 by Quercki
'Boys Will Be Boys' Is No Excuse For Bad Behavior
"Girls will be girls?" I don’t think so. Nor do we say things like "she just can't help herself." I have heard parents of daughters so inclined say things like, "She's just so rambunctious!" or "She doesn't know her own strength yet!" But, in my experience, most people assume girls, as a class, can control themselves better, faster, more completely, and that boys have a harder time. There are many studies that indicate the reasons why this might be true, including the fact that we teach girls to delay gratification more and also to put their needs last. But, it does not appear to be innate.

Boy #1? Yes, maybe he had impulse control issues. Maybe it would take a lot of time to teach him about self-control, like Daughter #2. Maybe it would take even longer to teach him about personal boundaries and other people's rights. Maybe he had genuine problems with all of those things that needed to be addressed in more thorough ways than morning time social interactions.
boys  girls  sexism  children  rape.culture  *** 
october 2012 by Quercki
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