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Change through Curiosity in the Insight Approach to Conflict - Revista de Mediación
When the threats we perceive become certainties in our minds, our primary concern israrelynot to discover the adequacy of our thinking but to protect ourselves and what we care about. This leads us to succumb to the bias of egocentrism. When we are egocentric we take ourselves to be the most important point of reference (Keith& Sedikides, 1999; Stein, 1988). In doing this, we discount the significance of others, we stop being curious about them, and we tend to explain behavior we find threatening, not in terms of how it is threatening to us, but in terms of the personal disposition of the person to whom we attribute it (Stagner, 1967, p. 47). This tendency is called attribution bias (Stein, 1988, pp. 249–50).The person becomes the problem –the jerk or the cheat or the monster.
curiosity  dialogue  threat  chapterone 
12 weeks ago by Walpole
Americans are at each other’s throats. Here’s one way out. - The Washington Post
About one in every 20 conflicts operates this way, as social psychologist Peter T. Coleman describes in his book “The Five Percent.” High conflicts can be interrupted, but not if we approach them the same way we handle normal conflicts. Left unchecked, high conflicts can become magnetic.
dialogue  conflict  amandaripley 
december 2019 by Walpole
Bad group logic – idiolect
This helps us understand the attraction of “They Are Evil” messaging. These messages are not persuasive. Thinking like this is the opposite of persuasive – it is polarising, driving people further apart in their views and making communication across the divide harder. We do it because it feels good, awarding us and our tribe the moral equivalent of $2 when we could have had £3, but at the vindictive gain of awarding the opposing tribe $1 rather than $4.
tribalism  dialogue 
december 2019 by Walpole
Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
If a conversation feels difficult, there’s often something about identity, something that situation suggests about you, that raises the stakes on the whole conversation. That’s part of the anxiety that then drives the intensity of the feelings. Worth a look
october 2019 by Walpole
We Are All Confident Idiots - Pacific Standard
ignorance is not an absence of information - it is strongly held misinformation. Education gives you greater confidence in your errors.
dunning  ignorance  intelligence  stupidity  simplism  dialogue 
october 2019 by Walpole
The Paradox of American Farmers and Climate Change
"Peoples' answers to whether one 'believes in' human-caused global warming doesn't measure what they know; it expresses who they are."
KAHAN  dialogue  identity  belief 
october 2019 by Walpole
What do executives do, anyway? - apenwarr
I'm wary of "disagree and commit" for this reason. Real people don't commit when they strongly disagree; they only pretend to.
leadership  culture  dialogue  BUSINESS 
october 2019 by Walpole
Under the right circumstances, anyone can become an Internet troll | Stanford School of Engineering
Taking inspiration from social psychology research methods, Cheng investigated whether trolling behavior is an innate characteristic or if situational factors can influence people to act like trolls. Through a combination of experimentation, data analysis and machine learning, the researchers honed in on simple factors that make the average person more likely to troll.
justincheng  dialogue  online  trolling 
september 2019 by Walpole
Nobody Understands Democracy Anymore – Tablet Magazine
But disagreement is a fundamental condition—the fundamental condition—of politics. And the most important practice of democracy isn’t voting, but rather proscribing norms for the habit of legitimate disagreement.
dialogue  DEMOCRACY  ruffian 
september 2019 by Walpole
The way to change anti-vaccine campaigners’ minds - isabel hardman
It’s a common approach now across a range of issues. Does someone take a different political view to you? Just tell them they’re an idiot. It’s easier than setting out a reasoned argument. The trouble is, you’re unlikely to win your adversary round. Accusations simply keep the deniers in denial.
dialogue  antivax 
august 2019 by Walpole
Countering antivaccination attitudes | PNAS
Prior research on vaccine attitude change suggests that it is difficult to persuade vaccination skeptics and that direct attempts to do so can even backfire. Here, we successfully countered people’s antivaccination attitudes by making them appreciate the consequences of failing to vaccinate their children
antivax  dialogue 
august 2019 by Walpole
Psychology Researchers Explore How Vaccine Beliefs Are Formed | Voice of America - English
Carli Leon, a mother of two children and previously self-described "loud voice" against vaccinations, said insulting comments online didn't change her mind. "When people would ridicule me and call me a bad mother, it only made me dig my heels in more. What helped me was people asking me questions [that] got me to think. That got me to recognize the hypocrisy of the anti-vaxx community and my own hypocrisy with my own beliefs that I had," Leon said.
antivax  dialogue  curiosity  rightingreflex 
august 2019 by Walpole
Principles of Good Debating - Econlib
Talk to your opponent like he’s your best friend,
dialogue  tips 
august 2019 by Walpole
The Hard Work of Disagreeing with Those Who Are Similar to Us
On the flip side, I have very little experience with my friends and colleagues giving me feedback or pushing back against some belief I am espousing or action I am taking.
august 2019 by Walpole
Why Disagreement Is More Common Than Agreement | Psychology Today
Agreement, then, is rather precious. It’s something to be sought, not just stumbled upon.
dialogue  agreement 
august 2019 by Walpole
Wijnaldum exclusive: ‘Klopp gave us pre-Kiev team talk in Ronaldo pants – we were all on the floor laughing’ – The Athletic
“I had played a really bad game. A lot of times he says that when I start a game badly, it never becomes good during the game any more. And he said, in front of everyone, ‘I could see it in your eyes and in your body language — this was going to be a game like that.’ And I was like, ‘Whoa, I don’t need that in this moment.’

“But in the end, if you analyse it, he was right. He didn’t say it to break me, but to help me.
dialogue  conflict  klopp  sport 
august 2019 by Walpole
Life’s Work: An Interview with George Mitchell
The challenge is not to get them to talk, because everybody will talk, but to get them to listen.
dialogue  georgemitchell  listening 
august 2019 by Walpole
Forget Introvert/Extrovert. Are you Perceiving, or Judging?
Don’t confuse “perceiving” with the often positive trait of being “perceptive.” Don’t confuse “judging” with the negative connotations of being “judgmental.” Neither is necessarily good or bad, and we all have a little of both.
An extreme perceiver always wants to take in new information. An extreme judger wants to make a decision.
curiosity  dialogue 
august 2019 by Walpole
The inside story of FSG’s love affair with Liverpool and the Boston Red Sox – The Athletic
“Speaking your mind and disagreeing at Liverpool isn’t just allowed,” Gordon told Klopp, who offered a pregnant pause and raised an eyebrow, in Manhattan. “It is required.”
august 2019 by Walpole
The effects of categorically based expectations on minority influence: the importance of congruence. - PubMed - NCBI
The role of congruence and incongruence in diverse decision-making groups is examined by manipulating opinion agreement within and between members of different social categories.
dialogue  diversity  conflict 
august 2019 by Walpole
How To Fight In Love - YouTube
Alain De Botton on couples, quite useful
dialogue  closer  debotton 
july 2019 by Walpole
ARGUMENT: Why do it
Arguing does not need to be stressful. If there’s one thing I want you to learn from this course, that would be it.
dialogue  arguing 
july 2019 by Walpole
Arguments Help Innovation, Decision-Making - Harvey Mackay Academy
Mark Eppler, in his book “The Wright Way,” writes that the key to their intense arguments was not driven by anger but rather a commitment of free-flowing information – a valuable tool for innovation.
wrightbros  innovation  dialogue 
july 2019 by Walpole
[no title]
Good overview and history of research on group conflict - used to be thought of as just negative, but increasing evidence for positive effects too. Key dynamics a) antidote groupthink b) Better info processing. Summary - Relationship conflict bad, task conflict good.
dialogue  groups  conflict 
july 2019 by Walpole
Boris Johnson has learnt the lessons of Brexit vote | Comment | The Times
There are a thousand problems with a politics split between left and right. But politics institutionally divided between Leave and Remain would be far worse, because we wouldn’t be fighting about economic and social policies. We’d be fighting about the sort of people we are and believe our opponents to be. It’s one thing to think that the other side have plans that won’t work: you try to win power by persuading voters that your plans will work better for them. But if politics is a battle of values, there is no such victory to be won, no centre ground in which to compromise: just an endless angry stalemate between leaders using grievance to energise their base.
july 2019 by Walpole
Warren Buffett Annual Letter Quotes - Business Insider
Hire second adviser...fee contingent on deal not going through. Harnessing confirmation bias!
dialogue  warrenbuffett 
july 2019 by Walpole
Why Groups Fail to Share Information Effectively - PsyBlog
Group discussions focus on shared information and fail to get unique info out
dialogue  groups  decisionmaking 
july 2019 by Walpole
Lessons from Pixar 1: The Braintrust - Great Business Stories - Medium
“The key is to look at the viewpoints being offered, in any successful feedback group, as additive, not competitive. A competitive approach measures other ideas against your own, turning the discussion into a debate to be won or lost. An additive approach, on the other hand, starts with the understanding that each participant contributes something (even if it’s only an idea that fuels the discussion — and ultimately doesn’t work).”
pixar  catmull  dialogue 
july 2019 by Walpole
Inside The Pixar Braintrust
You are not your idea, and if you identify too closely with your ideas, you will take offense when challenged.
pixar  creativity  dialogue 
july 2019 by Walpole
On How to Disagree - The Book of LifeThe Book of Life
Some useful material esp for intro and for workshops
If one is anti trades-union, imagine a charming, civilised person who is all for them.
dialogue  disagreement  schooloflife  tips 
july 2019 by Walpole
Opinion | The Dying Art of Disagreement - The New York Times
In other words, to disagree well you must first understand well. You have to read deeply, listen carefully, watch closely. You need to grant your adversary moral respect; give him the intellectual benefit of doubt; have sympathy for his motives and participate empathically with his line of reasoning. And you need to allow for the possibility that you might yet be persuaded of what he has to say.
bretstephens  dialogue  disagreement 
july 2019 by Walpole
I Trust You, You Trust Me | Psychology Today UK
Teams primed with low levels of trust engaged in significantly more information processing than did teams primed with high levels of trust. If you don’t fully trust team members, you push for more elaboration, integration, and generation to maximize the quality of information processing in the team.
trust  teamwork  collaboration  dialogue  INTERESTING 
july 2019 by Walpole
Glenn Erik Haugland on Twitter: ""I think in order to be in the best sense moral – in order to be kind to people – we have to be able to think about them, we have to be able to engage with them, and we have to be able to imagine them. And you can’t
"I think in order to be in the best sense moral – in order to be kind to people – we have to be able to think about them, we have to be able to engage with them, and we have to be able to imagine them. And you can’t do that quickly."
dialogue  quotes  adamphillips 
july 2019 by Walpole
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