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There really is no natural or right way to be a parent | Aeon Essays

Children, Bowlby said, need a secure attachment to a primary caregiver, most commonly the mother, or they will suffer dire consequences such as an inability to start and maintain social relationships or even a variety of mental illnesses.
To test the types of attachment around the world, the American-Canadian psychologist Mary Ainsworth in 1970 devised a measuring tool – the Strange Situation. A mother and baby are in the room together but, after a while, someone the baby doesn’t know (the stranger) asks the mother to leave. The baby’s reaction upon the mother’s return decides the type of attachment. The ‘securely attached’ baby cries as the mother leaves but lets herself be calmed down quickly by the stranger; she is also happy when the mother returns.

That’s why Blaffer Hrdy revised Bowlby’s notion of attachment. Children, she said, could bond with multiple caregivers throughout their lives, yet experience no added anxiety or psychological problems as a result. In fact, she remarks on one very positive aspect of modern parenting that’s available in many European countries: affordable daycare. She asks me about my own experiences, and I launch into a passionate praise of the institution after seeing my own three children thrive in Dutch daycare. I agree with her: I could not have done it by myself. So-called alloparents, whether in the form of wider family members or daycare workers, matter.

But this truth gets overlooked because ‘it doesn’t fit into the narrative of the natural’. Instead, we prefer to cherrypick our parenting approaches to feed our biases. Natural parenting has more to do with how we want to be than with how we actually are.
parenting  critic  theory  kid  emotion  debate  best 
5 weeks ago by aries1988
tianjin  tradition  art  painting  festival  book  best 
february 2019 by aries1988
普适性准则 每行最大80个字符 缩进默认4个占位符 使用空格进行缩进,而不是TAB按键 if,else,while,case,for使用的时候附加空格,forAll后不附加空格 前默认空置4个字符并对齐 如 Info<< ... os << ... 下面这种是不正确的: WarningInFunction << "Warning message" 省略没必要的注释 类声明注释居中显示如 /*-----------------------------------------...
best  practice  code  howto  habit  c++  ofm 
july 2018 by aries1988
包子 几个蒸包子的诀窍 失败是一件很困难的事情 - YouTube

温水 450克 1+3/4 杯 加1大勺调整量
酵母 4克 1小勺
中筋面粉 750克 5杯(蓬松量法)

去肠线虾肉 400克
生抽 15克 1汤勺
白胡椒粉 1克 1/4 小勺
新鲜羊腿肉 250 克
葱白 50克
生姜泥 6克
盐 8克 1 茶勺
五香粉 小于 1克 1/8 小勺
花椒粉 小于1克 1/8 小勺
鸡蛋清 1
香油 4克 1小勺

冷水上锅蒸 上汽以后蒸十五分钟 蒸汽散尽开锅
recette  chinese  baozi  bun  explained  best 
may 2018 by aries1988
How to Write a Git Commit Message
The seven rules of a great git commit message
Keep in mind: This has all been said before.
Separate subject from body with a blank line
Limit the subject line to 50 characters
Capitalize the subject line
Do not end the subject line with a period
Use the imperative mood in the subject line
Wrap the body at 72 characters
Use the body to explain what and why vs. how
best  practice  git  development  programming  tool 
august 2016 by aries1988
What can Ansel Adams’s enduring photography teach us in the age of Instagram? | Aeon Videos
With an oeuvre that’s both innovative and enduring, the US photographer Ansel Adams is almost universally regarded as a master of his craft and a pioneer in photographic art. Because his black-and-white landscapes have become so ubiquitous – commonly found on postcards, computer backgrounds and doctor’s office walls – it’s easy to take the beauty of his images for granted. But as Evan Puschak (also known as The Nerdwriter) shows in this video essay, there’s perhaps never been a better time to re-examine the careful, deliberate approach Adams took to his work.
photography  photo  nature  light  art  b&w  eye  best  visualization  technique  creativity  photographer  craft 
may 2016 by aries1988
typography - Should subscripts in math mode be upright? - TeX - LaTeX Stack Exchange
Using "all italics" is unfortunately an often committed sin. You should italicize only variables.

Everything else should be upright. For example:

function names (sin, cos, log, ln etc...)
dimensionless numbers (Re, Pr, Ra...)
exact infinitesimal increments (dx, dy et... in BOTH integrals and differentials)
descriptive text
all descriptive variable indices (unless they are also variables)
Exceptions to this rule may still apply, i.e. the Euler-number $e$ is no variable, but still traditionally written in italics.
best  practice  latex  maths 
september 2015 by aries1988
User Manual for glossaries.sty v4.15
When you write technical documents, regardless of whether it’s a PhD thesis or an article for a journal or proceedings, you must plan what you write in advance. If you plan in advance, you should have a fairly good idea of the type of terminology that your document will contain, so while you are planning, create a new file with all your entry definitions. If, while you’re writing your document, you remember another term you need, then you can switch over to your definition file and add it. Most text editors have the ability to have more than one file open at a time. The other advantage to this approach is that if you forget the label, you can look it up in the definition file rather than searching through your document text to find the definition.
best  latex 
june 2015 by aries1988
Git and Vimdiff
git log --pretty=format:"[%h] %ae, %ar: %s" --stat
diff  git  programming  vim  best  practice 
march 2015 by aries1988
Using Vim, isn't there a more efficient way to format LaTeX paragraphs according to this best practice? - Stack Overflow
One way to do this is not by actually breaking the lines in the file but instead doing the following:
best  practice  latex  vim 
march 2015 by aries1988
A Man and His Cat -
Biologists call cats “exploitive captives,” an evocative phrase that might be used to describe a lot of relationships, not all of them interspecies. I made the mistake, early on, of feeding the cat first thing in the morning, forgetting that the cat could control when I woke up — by meowing politely, sitting on my chest and staring at me, nudging me insistently with her face, or placing a single claw on my lip. She refused to drink water from a bowl, coveting what she believed was the superior-quality water I drank from a glass. I attempted to demonstrate to the cat that the water we drank was the very same water by pouring it from my glass into her bowl right in front of her, but she was utterly unmoved, like a birther being shown Obama’s long-form Hawaiian birth certificate. In the end I gave in and began serving her water in a glass tumbler, which she had to stick her whole face into to drink from.

What our mass spending on products to pamper animals who seem happiest while rolling in feces or eating the guts out of rodents — who don’t, in fact, seem significantly less happy if they lose half their limbs — tells us about ourselves as a nation is probably also something we don’t want to know.

WHENEVER I felt embarrassed about factoring a house pet’s desires into major life decisions, some grown-up-sounding part of me told myself, it’s just a cat. It’s generally believed that animals lack what we call consciousness, although we can’t quite agree on what exactly this is, and how we can pretend to any certainty about what goes on in an animal’s head has never been made clear to me. To anyone who has spent time with an animal, the notion that they have no interior lives seems so counterintuitive, such an obdurate denial of the empathetically self-evident, as to be almost psychotic. I suspect that some of those same psychological mechanisms must have allowed people to rationalize owning other people.

We don’t know what goes on inside an animal’s head; we may doubt whether they have anything we’d call consciousness, and we can’t know how much they understand or what their emotions feel like. I will never know what, if anything, the cat thought of me. But I can tell you this: A man who is in a room with a cat — whatever else we might say about that man — is not alone.
pet  animal  people  life  story  best  essay  cat  love 
september 2014 by aries1988
Dumplings to Duck: Which Chinese Food Should Make Unesco’s Heritage List? - WSJ

The intangible cultural heritage list is Unesco’s attempt to honor things like rituals and community-based activities, intended especially for cultures that may not have Machu Piccus or Parthenons. The intangibility, in turn, sometimes translates into something as tangible as food and its preparation. In 2013, both Koreas’ kimjang – the making and sharing of kimchi – and the Mediterranean diet made the list. The Mediterranean diet, Unesco says, brings about moments of social exchange and communication, an affirmation and renewal of family, group, or community identity, which might be translated into drinking wine at three-hour lunches.

other intangibles on the Unesco list: using the abacus for mathematical calculations (2013), shadow puppetry (2011), acupuncture and moxibustion (2010) and block printing (2009).
food  chinese  best  debate 
august 2014 by aries1988

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