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aries1988 : california   5

Her Time
while FEN guides were there to help people die, they couldn’t help in the literal sense. Though suicide is legal in every state, the act of helping someone commit the act is illegal. The rule that FEN’s leadership came up with — the rule they hoped would keep the organization free from prosecution — was that exit guides could instruct and advise and sit with but could not touch a client.

According to FEN rules, clients didn’t need to be terminally ill or even dying, in the immediate sense, as long as they were suffering “intolerably” and “unbearably.”

In Brian’s civilian life, he heard people say all the time that if they got dementia, they’d kill themselves or get someone else to kill them — that they were not going there. OK then, he would think, so what is your plan?
It made sense to Brian that the search for an alternative path was happening beyond the official gaze of the courtroom and the hospital ethics committee. People were scared, and they could find nobody to hold their hands and help them find a way out.

“She doesn’t want to lose her selfhood,” Brian said. “She sees it happening.” Brian believes that nobody wants to die, only sometimes they can’t live this way.

David had been an antiques trader before going into construction, and his house was filled with old things. Sometimes, Debra and David imagined that they had known each other in the Victorian era but that their relationship had been cut short for reasons they didn’t know and that God had sent them back to earth to meet again.

It was hard to think about money, though, because it was getting harder to think in straight lines. Debra’s thoughts felt like seeds that never germinated. Her attention was flighty; her stories lost their narrative thread. Sometimes, when she was at her computer, she’d come to suddenly and find that she had typed a page of gibberish. “I call them brain farts, for lack of a better description.”

She thought she probably wouldn’t, that she would have no self-respect left, by then, to offend. But still, she believed that some part of her would continue to hurt from all the small indignities of life in an institution where nobody loved her.

Patients in Oregon are more likely to request aid in dying for existential reasons than for physical ones.

Dutch doctors debate whether these two versions of the patient — the “then-self” before dementia and the “now-self” with dementia — are even the same person. If they are not, then why does the one get to dictate choices for the other?

Later, there was just one strange thing that Lieutenant Horton found hard to shake. It was nice out, but all the curtains were drawn.
aging  suicide  dementia  death  health  law  california  life  couple  house 
april 2019 by aries1988
印尼炒饭

一个西裔女人招待他,拿过来一份菜单。他没有翻开,只问她,Nasi Goreng 有没有。女侍点头。他就说,好吧,就来一份Nasi Goreng, 一罐啤酒。

印尼炒饭,三年前他吃了整整两个月。那是个一月份,他上了一个雅加达的项目,印尼的一个客户寻求国际并购的机会。印尼是穆斯林社会,风气保守,晚上十一点,肚子饿,唯一开着的餐饮是路边大排档。大排档都一式一样,Chicken Satay, Gado Gado, Nasi Goreng. 所以他每个夜晚就吃这三样,烤鸡肉串,加多加多色拉, 印尼炒饭,配一瓶啤酒。他坐在大排档的塑料棚下面,雨点打在棚面响声如雷。店主在一口大锅前不停翻炒,脸上不停滴下水,不知是汗还是雨。老板娘收钱、擦桌子,扫地,兜里的钱票子都是湿的。大排档粗陋,盐不是放多就是放少,还要不就是没调开, 一口淡一口咸,镬气倒是十足,火候好。他就坐在那条塑料板凳上,这三样吃了两个月。

现在他老婆短发,他的发迹线有点太高。第一只猫头鹰已经被女儿睡得太脏。他知道第二个孩子降生时,老婆会兴高采烈地给他拿出第二只猫头鹰,那一只也会无可挽回地变脏、掉毛。那家做猫头鹰的玩具厂已经倒闭,这种玩具再也买不到了;因为Bill Murray而走红世界的日本威士忌,很多牌子已经卖脱销,十几年内不会有新货。想起这两件事情,他有点伤感。

除了加班和带孩子,他们剩下的可怜的空闲时间都用来看新房和谈房贷,孩子越来越大,必须搬到好学区住才行。对于婚姻,他常常想起Before Midnight,那么烦躁,零碎,温吞吞,缓慢地死去,“也许就和化疗一样”,他有一次这么想到。他疲惫不堪,他老婆恐怕更累,却无法不去爱这一切:毕竟,他们用Lost in Translation里猫头鹰的名字命名了两个孩子:Louise 和Luis。

他还记得自己做过一个春梦,什么情节都没有,只有这个暗恋对象,在洗手台面前,一遍一遍缓慢地拧毛巾。
story  douban  love  sex  memory  nostalgia  melancholy  life  marriage  family  man  youth  middle-age  indonesia  food  work  california 
december 2017 by aries1988
Vous avez aimé « La La Land », vous allez adorer Los Angeles
Le film de Damien Chazelle aux sept Golden Globes et aux quatorze nominations aux Oscars assoit sa fantaisie sur une ville bien réelle. Visite guidée, avec ou sans chorégraphie.
usa  travel  guide  california 
january 2017 by aries1988

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