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aries1988 : couple   29

Her Time
while FEN guides were there to help people die, they couldn’t help in the literal sense. Though suicide is legal in every state, the act of helping someone commit the act is illegal. The rule that FEN’s leadership came up with — the rule they hoped would keep the organization free from prosecution — was that exit guides could instruct and advise and sit with but could not touch a client.

According to FEN rules, clients didn’t need to be terminally ill or even dying, in the immediate sense, as long as they were suffering “intolerably” and “unbearably.”

In Brian’s civilian life, he heard people say all the time that if they got dementia, they’d kill themselves or get someone else to kill them — that they were not going there. OK then, he would think, so what is your plan?
It made sense to Brian that the search for an alternative path was happening beyond the official gaze of the courtroom and the hospital ethics committee. People were scared, and they could find nobody to hold their hands and help them find a way out.

“She doesn’t want to lose her selfhood,” Brian said. “She sees it happening.” Brian believes that nobody wants to die, only sometimes they can’t live this way.

David had been an antiques trader before going into construction, and his house was filled with old things. Sometimes, Debra and David imagined that they had known each other in the Victorian era but that their relationship had been cut short for reasons they didn’t know and that God had sent them back to earth to meet again.

It was hard to think about money, though, because it was getting harder to think in straight lines. Debra’s thoughts felt like seeds that never germinated. Her attention was flighty; her stories lost their narrative thread. Sometimes, when she was at her computer, she’d come to suddenly and find that she had typed a page of gibberish. “I call them brain farts, for lack of a better description.”

She thought she probably wouldn’t, that she would have no self-respect left, by then, to offend. But still, she believed that some part of her would continue to hurt from all the small indignities of life in an institution where nobody loved her.

Patients in Oregon are more likely to request aid in dying for existential reasons than for physical ones.

Dutch doctors debate whether these two versions of the patient — the “then-self” before dementia and the “now-self” with dementia — are even the same person. If they are not, then why does the one get to dictate choices for the other?

Later, there was just one strange thing that Lieutenant Horton found hard to shake. It was nice out, but all the curtains were drawn.
aging  suicide  dementia  death  health  law  california  life  couple  house 
7 weeks ago by aries1988
Letter of Recommendation Phyllis Rose’s ‘Parallel Lives’
A book on Victorian marriage doubles as a case for the transformative power of gossip.
book  love  couple 
september 2018 by aries1988
Letter of Recommendation Murphy Beds
A regular old bed just sits there, inert, banal, a little sad. But a Murphy bed pops out of the wall — boing! — like the punch line to a dirty joke. It is an instant boudoir. You pull down your Murphy bed and a saucy question seems to hang in the air: Now what?
bedroom  bed  home  fun  couple  young 
september 2018 by aries1988
287期:你,为什么离开了中国?- Why did you leave China?

应老朋友友藏的邀请,我们跨越半个地球连线,对谈交流了移民这样的一个话题。大狗熊 2016 年从云南移民来到了新西兰,友藏 2013 年离开北京来到了加拿大,两个人背井离乡究竟是什么原因?对谈当中分享了各自移民的经历、故事和心得,都在这期节目当中。
expat  china  canada  vancouver  story  kiwi  couple  kid  why  success 
july 2018 by aries1988
Why Christmas Eve Is The Busiest Day Of The Year For Japan's Love Hotels
For couples in Japan, Christmas Eve is all about the infamous love hotel -- when many of the high-end hotels have already been booked months in advance. By the night of December 24th, many of these hotels are completely full with amorous couples celebrating the holiday season.
japanese  sex  couple  christmas 
december 2017 by aries1988
Why post-sex cuddles and pillowtalk count for more than orgasm | Aeon Essays
As Martin Portner, a neurologist living in Brazil, wrote in Scientific American Mind in 2008, people need more than arousal to experience an orgasm: ‘It requires a release of inhibitions and control in which the brain’s centre of vigilance shuts down in males; in females, various areas of the brain involved in controlling thoughts and emotions become silent.’
brain  sex  couple  love  research  scientist 
november 2017 by aries1988
I'm Finally Ready To Talk About How My Parents Died
Icky’s death was real. From his passing, I learned that death involves recognition of the life that has passed. It brings people together. It follows a logical process. My parents’ deaths did not follow these rules. Rather, it was unexpected, chaotic, and horrifying. It was an explosion that tore through my life and left a film of dusty, smoky particulate in its wake. Immediately after, you are choking and sputtering and gasping for lack of clean air. Eventually, time lets you breathe easier. You think you may have escaped unscathed, but the poison you inhaled settles in any chasm it can find. Let it simmer a good 10 years and it may just become a cancer. Eating you alive all the while without you even knowing it.
killing  crime  murder  death  children  growup  story  memory  parents  loss  love  couple 
october 2017 by aries1988
Joe DiMaggio Babysat My Daughter at the Airport | Reader's Digest
She was very, very upset. She said, “I can’t believe you’ve let this family come apart. I can’t believe this child will grow up without a father.” (Which was never true and has never been true since.)
story  luck  destiny  airport  parents  children  career  research  university  couple  marriage 
october 2017 by aries1988
Plus que cinq dodos sans les enfants !
Toute l’année, on attend les vacances pour souffler un peu et prendre du temps pour soi. Mais le moment de la séparation est redouté tant par les parents que par leur progéniture.
parents  children  education  self  family  couple  vacation 
august 2017 by aries1988
An American Immigrant in Paris

I’ve grown attached to France, too. That’s partly because the rest of the world has gotten worse. France is also where I had my children, wrote my books, and where I know the supermarket by heart — though I suspect I’ll always write grocery lists in English.
soulsearching  français  american  story  expat  life  couple  international  opinion  motherland 
march 2017 by aries1988
The Woman Who Might Find Us Another Earth - The New York Times
Widowhood was like a new universe for Seager to explore. She had never understood many social norms. The celebration of birthdays, for instance. “I just don’t see the point,” she says. “Why would I want to celebrate my birthday? Why on earth would I even care?” She had also drawn a hard line against Christmas and its myths. “I never wanted my kids to believe in Santa.” After Wevrick’s death, she became even more of a satellite, developing a deeper intolerance for life’s ordinary concerns.
female  scientist  planet  life  story  research  discovery  family  couple 
december 2016 by aries1988
The Economics of Dining as a Couple
It is, to be sure, an advanced technique, which requires a fairly intimate knowledge of your partner, and a certain generosity of spirit.
tips  howto  life  economy  restaurant  couple  moi  money  share 
october 2016 by aries1988
Why the Word ‘Fiancé’ Is Falling Out of Fashion - The New York Times
Why I hate it: It sounds silly, feels pompous and even precious. It’s the verbal equivalent of wearing a monocle, or using an encyclopedia when Wikipedia is at your fingertips. During my yearlong engagement, I never managed to say the word without feeling, somehow, like a jerk.

“I think this generation as a whole is less concerned with labels,” she said. “Millennials are getting married later in life, and many are cohabitating before saying ‘I do.’ As a result, I think the change from boyfriend or girlfriend to fiancé doesn’t feel like a huge shift, despite the intended commitment.”
usa  english  marriage  couple  fun 
october 2016 by aries1988
唐映红 | 心理学问答:男朋友是“小粉红”该不该分手

politics  china  partisanship  couple  question 
july 2016 by aries1988
The Lark-Owl Scale: When Couples’ Sleep Patterns Diverge
One area that has lagged behind is what researchers calls dyadic sleep, or sleep concordance. Sixty percent of people sleep with another person. When one person has sleep issues, both can suffer.
sleep  couple 
january 2016 by aries1988

love  advice  sex  couple  story  life  question 
may 2015 by aries1988
How to Be a Better Spouse
One of his most concrete findings was that happier couples had a ratio of five positive interactions to every negative interaction. “That just leapt off the pages of the data analysis,” he says. It was true in very different types of relationships, including those in which the people were very independent and even distant or argumentative. These positive interactions don’t have to be grand gestures: “A smile, a head nod, even just grunting to show you’re listening to your partner—those are all positive,” Gottman says.

In any interaction, we have the opportunity to connect with our partner or to turn away. If we consistently turn away, then over time the foundation of the marriage can slowly erode, even in the absence of overt conflict.

I want to show him how much he matters, too, and that all the other stupid little stuff doesn’t.
love  couple  howto  advice 
march 2015 by aries1988
Finding Equilibrium in Seesawing Libidos -
For these women and my wife, there had to be the perfect confluence of events for sex to happen. My wife’s requirements were that her job had to be going well, the children didn’t need her attention, the house had to be clean, the temperature had to be between 76 and 84 degrees, and the Democrats had to control at least one branch of government.
story  love  sex  couple 
march 2015 by aries1988
廖逸君用自己和男友的身体挑战着传统的性别角色 | VICE 中国
《MATTE》杂志  是我在2010年开办的一本杂志,用来推广一些新兴摄影师的优秀作品。每一期杂志,我们都专注于一位摄影艺术家的作品,然后会为摄影师拍一张他或她的肖像作为杂志封面。 -马修·莱夫海特(Matthew Leifheit) 《MATTE》杂志的第28号专题,展示了摄影师…
photo  couple  art 
october 2014 by aries1988
Filling the Empty Nest With Animals -
But they do belong in mine. Back inside our place, I put out a saucer of milk for our guest.

“Look how cute she is,” I said. “Our new roommate.”

My boyfriend understood.

“O.K.,” he said. “We’ll give it a try.”

That was the moment New York began to feel like home.
story  animal  newyork  growup  pet  parents  children  couple 
september 2014 by aries1988
Our Love Affair With Predicting Divorce -
“Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls ‘bids.’ For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, ‘Look at that beautiful bird outside!’ He’s not just commenting on the bird here: he’s requesting a response from his wife — a sign of interest or support — hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.”

Nonetheless, the general idea that we can predict which couples will break up based on a discrete set of behavioral factors retains some appeal.

Then, too, there are the Gottmans’ prescriptions: Turn toward your partner. Say positive things. Celebrate the hard times you’ve been through. Look at the bird.
love  prediction  couple  behavior  howto 
july 2014 by aries1988

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