recentpopularlog in

aries1988 : emotion   14

There really is no natural or right way to be a parent | Aeon Essays

Children, Bowlby said, need a secure attachment to a primary caregiver, most commonly the mother, or they will suffer dire consequences such as an inability to start and maintain social relationships or even a variety of mental illnesses.
To test the types of attachment around the world, the American-Canadian psychologist Mary Ainsworth in 1970 devised a measuring tool – the Strange Situation. A mother and baby are in the room together but, after a while, someone the baby doesn’t know (the stranger) asks the mother to leave. The baby’s reaction upon the mother’s return decides the type of attachment. The ‘securely attached’ baby cries as the mother leaves but lets herself be calmed down quickly by the stranger; she is also happy when the mother returns.

That’s why Blaffer Hrdy revised Bowlby’s notion of attachment. Children, she said, could bond with multiple caregivers throughout their lives, yet experience no added anxiety or psychological problems as a result. In fact, she remarks on one very positive aspect of modern parenting that’s available in many European countries: affordable daycare. She asks me about my own experiences, and I launch into a passionate praise of the institution after seeing my own three children thrive in Dutch daycare. I agree with her: I could not have done it by myself. So-called alloparents, whether in the form of wider family members or daycare workers, matter.

But this truth gets overlooked because ‘it doesn’t fit into the narrative of the natural’. Instead, we prefer to cherrypick our parenting approaches to feed our biases. Natural parenting has more to do with how we want to be than with how we actually are.
parenting  critic  theory  kid  emotion  debate  best 
9 days ago by aries1988
Damien Chazelle’s “First Man,” Reviewed | The New Yorker

Chazelle, true to the title, and more intimate in his dramatic scope than Kaufman, is consumed by the curious case of Armstrong, forsaking all others. Long before he becomes the only man on the moon, he looks like the loneliest man in America.

If Armstrong is merely a name to you, take a look at the real Neil: those broad unfazeable features, the undemanding steadiness of the gaze, and a mouth that is happy, if conditions are favorable, to curve into a smile. Now consider Gosling—the sad-eyed heartthrob, a veteran of The Notebook (2004), and a tender presence who can’t help drawing us into his plights.

Recruiting Gosling to its emotional cause, First Man proceeds on the assumption that folk who are modest in displaying their feelings, like Armstrong, must by definition be deeply repressed and taut with untold misery. But they’re not. They’re just modest.
movie  cosmos  critic  rightwing  hollywood  actor  personality  emotion  stereotype  astronaut  american 
october 2018 by aries1988
我不完美,也不想做圣母
2. 直接讲出自己的情绪。

许多家长发火是在忍无可忍的情况下突然爆发,往往使孩子无法接受,更加对立,结果导致父母的火气更大。有人据此提出了“发脾气三级法”,也就是,当你感觉自己的愤怒情绪在膨胀时,可分三个等级向孩子讲出自己内心的情绪状况:

第一级:“我对你这样的做法很不高兴”

第二级:“我气极了! ”

第三级:“我马上就要发火了! ”

这比莫名其妙地突然爆发效果,可以使孩子更好地在分级警告面前及时改变自己的行为。
parenting  children  anger  emotion  management 
june 2018 by aries1988
We Know How You Feel
just as the increasing scarcity of oil has led to more exotic methods of recovery, the scarcity of attention, combined with a growing economy built around its exchange, has prompted R. & D. in the mining of consumer cognition. “What people in the industry are saying is ‘I need to get people’s attention in a shorter period of time,’ so they are trying to focus on capturing the intensity of it,” Teixeira explained. “People who are emotional are much more engaged. And because emotions are ‘memory markers’ they remember more. So the idea now is shifting to: how do we get people who are feeling these emotions?”
emotion  business  research  story  egypt  female  scientist  startup  robot  ai  future 
february 2018 by aries1988
The Only Way to Keep Your Resolutions - The New York Times

Given self-control’s importance for success, it seems as if evolution should have provided us with a tool for it that was less excruciating to use.

I believe it did; we’re just ignoring it. That tool is our social emotions. These are the emotions — things like gratitude and compassion — that support the positive aspects of social life. For years I’ve been studying the effects of these emotions on decision-making and behavior, and I’ve found that unlike reason and willpower, they naturally incline us to be patient and persevere. When you are experiencing these emotions, self-control is no longer a battle, for they work not by squashing our desires for pleasure in the moment but by increasing how much we value the future.

For millenniums, what led to success wasn’t the ability to study for exams, save for retirement, go to the gym or wait for a second marshmallow. For most of our evolutionary history, none of these self-focused goals mattered or even existed. It’s far more likely that what led to success was strong social bonds — relationships that would encourage people to cooperate and lend support to one another, which helped to ensure that their sacrifices would be returned time and again when required in the future.
emotion  rational  GTD  opinion  howto 
december 2017 by aries1988
Are We Ready for Intimacy with Robots?

Hiroshi Ishi­guro builds robots. Beautiful, realistic, uncannily convincing human replicas. His quest? Untangle the ineffable nature of human connection.

in Japan: the Advanced Telecommuni­cations Research Institute International in Nara and the Intelligent Robotics Laboratory on the campus of Osaka University.

Hiroshi Ishi­guro

the capacity to imbue such a machine with humanness—that ineffable presence the Japanese call sonzai-kan.

Ishi­guro believes that since we’re hardwired to interact with and place our faith in humans, the more humanlike we can make a robot appear, the more open we’ll be to sharing our lives with it.

He is convinced that human emotions, whether empathy or romantic love, are nothing more than responses to stimuli, subject to manipulation. Through the fluid interplay of its pneumatic joints, the arch of its mechanical brow, the tilt of its plastic skull, the many subtle movements achieved through years of research studying the human template, the android becomes more able to span that gap, to form a perfectly engineered bond with us. An elaborate metaphysical trick, perhaps—but what does that matter, if it fills a need? If it feels real?

Designed with the physical proportions that its human owner prefers, the preferred voice timbre and eye color and personality type, and the ability to recall and riff on its owner’s personal stories and little jokes, android will captivate human.

someone would be left alone in their advanced age to relive the joy of having a child through the cradling of a robot with stunted limbs.

The countless ways in which we judge someone based on their appearance all evaporate in the face of this neutral appearance, as Hiroshi calls the Telenoid’s blank, abstract body. And what is left in its place is that ineffable thing he has been trying to define: a distinctly human presence, free of the uncanny. It is an outsider, like its maker—but one who manages to trigger our affection. While holding the android, it hardly matters that this humanness is emitting from something that barely resembles a human at all.
human  body  android  idea  research  thinking  history  japan  japanese  reportage  interview  invention  story  emotion  office  journalism 
october 2017 by aries1988
'You should consider our feelings': for Chinese students the state is an extension of family | Merriden Varrall

What is immediately notable is that while the student is not satisfied with his teacher’s position, he does not even attempt to deploy what he may consider to be relevant facts or rational counter-arguments to support his own case. He is not trying to draw on his understanding of history, or setting out what he might see to be the relevant details of the arrangements that currently influence the relationship between the mainland and the island.

This tendency to be easily offended taps into the narrative of “national humiliation” which many Chinese subscribe to – the idea that the outside world deliberately carved China up during the opium wars of the mid-1800s, leaving it weak and vulnerable. President Xi Jinping’s “China Dream” of rejuvenation is a direct response to this view.

Some Chinese people have explained to me that the tendency to take offence when an outsider comments on China in a way they perceive as a criticism stems from the idea the country and the family are conceptually conflated such that they are understood as deserving equal loyalty.

Officially, the status of Taiwan is a “core interest” for China. That is to say, most Chinese consider the idea that Taiwan is an indisputable part of China is sacrosanct. They learn it at school, and in almost everything they see and hear as they grow up. To them, Taiwan is a family member; that is why discussions about its sovereignty tend to be emotional. Many Chinese students find it difficult to articulate why they feel the way they do about Taiwan – particularly because they have not had much training in debating or critically arguing a point. And they find it impossible to fathom that foreigners cannot understand their position on Taiwan.
chinese  young  uk  student  gaijin  conflict  emotion  explained  education  taiwan  reflex  university  mentality  instapaper_favs 
september 2017 by aries1988
The race to build the world’s first sex robot
something as lifelike as possible – it’s his brand’s USP (unique selling point).

Matt McMullen says he’s helping the socially isolated, but once it becomes possible for a man to own a companion whose sole reason for existing is to give him pleasure, without the inconvenience of its own ambitions and needs, menstrual cycles and jealous passions, bathroom habits and in-laws, he may turn away from human relationships altogether.
reportage  robot  manufacturing  captor  industry  emotion  human  love  sex  money 
may 2017 by aries1988
BBC World Service - The Why Factor, Regret
Regret – why do we feel this negative emotion? Is it right to live with it, or should we simply get over our mistakes of the past?

Mike Williams speaks to a palliative care nurse who recorded the regrets of the dying, and the man with 50,000 regrets, all entrusted to him by anonymous strangers who have confessed the biggest regrets of their lives on his website.

(Photo: Statue of woman with head in hand. Credit: Cheryl E. Davis/Shutterstock)
emotion  explained  story  podcast  psychology 
january 2017 by aries1988
Teaching Your Child Emotional Agility
“We see expressions like ‘boys don’t cry’ and ‘we don’t do anger here,’ or ‘brush it off,’” she said. “We do it with very good intentions, but we are teaching that emotions are to be feared.”

Feel It. While it may seem obvious to feel emotions, many families focus on pushing away negative emotions. “When we’re saying ‘don’t be sad, don’t be angry, don’t be jealous, don’t be selfish,’ we’re not coming to the child in the reality of her emotion,” she said. “Validate and see your child as a sentient person who has her own emotional world.”
children  emotion  learn  kid 
october 2016 by aries1988
Learning How to Exert Self-Control - NYTimes.com
Adults can use similar methods of distraction and distancing, he says. Don’t eye the basket of bread; just take it off the table. In moments of emotional distress, imagine that you’re viewing yourself from outside, or consider what someone else would do in your place. When a waiter offers chocolate mousse, imagine that a cockroach has just crawled across it.
howto  learn  goal  self  help  emotion  mind  body 
may 2015 by aries1988

Copy this bookmark:





to read