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aries1988 : parents   71

三代同堂的育儿生活:血缘是家庭的最终归宿|深度|端传媒 Initium Media

妮妮对小弟弟的到来非常焦虑。只要我给弟弟喂奶,或者只是看了弟弟一眼,妮妮便会发出尖叫。李媛说,晚上是外公外婆带妮妮睡觉,但只要妮妮夜里醒来发现妈妈不在身边,就会哭喊。刺耳的哭闹声回荡在黑漆漆的夜里,又把峰峰惊醒,两个孩子接连陷入歇斯底里的状态,四个大人只能惺忪着睡眼,哄着、抱着、照顾着……

但是,没有任何一个爷爷奶奶、外公外婆会后悔亲手带大了自己的孙辈,李媛说,孩子是我和家人情感最重要的体现,血缘才是一个家庭最终的归宿。
parents  family  grandparent  today  china  generation  work  life  senior  retirement 
february 2019 by aries1988
Twitter
看了迪斯尼 - 皮克斯出的 7 分钟短片 Bao,挺赞的。原来这短片出来有段时间了,只是现在才免费在 YouTube 上发布。查了一下导演,原来石之矛是一位女华裔,也难怪中国元素应用的这么到位。…
chinese  parents  children  food 
december 2018 by aries1988
How to Control Your Citizens: Opportunity. Nationalism. Fear. - The New York Times
“Today you have the largest bureaucracy in history, with a capacity to intrude in anything,” said William C. Kirby, a professor of China studies at Harvard. “It isn’t just ideology. There are now enormous numbers of interest groups that don’t like competition.”

For guidance, Mr. Ni often looks to Jack Ma, the executive chairman of Alibaba, who is China’s richest man and a cultlike figure among many businessmen. Mr. Ni is currently enrolled in a business school program that Mr. Ma established to cultivate China’s next generation of entrepreneurs.

Over the years, Mr. Ma has spoken publicly about the push-pull relationship between private companies and the government, though there is one piece of his advice for entrepreneurs that Mr. Ni seems to have especially taken to heart: “Fall in love. But don’t marry.”

part of it was something deeper: a desire to help the country catch up with the West and to reconnect with her Chinese roots.

Exposed to liberal democracy, Ms. Hua’s generation was supposed to be the one that demanded it at home. Middle-class Chinese students poured into universities in the United States and Europe — then seen as the most promising path to wealth and prestige — and some Western analysts predicted that they would return to China as a force for political change.

Like many other middle-class parents, Ms. Hua worries about repression and rampant materialism in Chinese society. Yet many of these parents say they want their children to see themselves as Chinese above all else — to understand China’s roots as an agrarian society and to have a sense of pride in the perseverance of the Chinese people through decades of poverty and strife.

Even as some analysts argue that China’s success has more to do with the resilience of its people than the Communist Party and its policies, leaders have been adept at shaping a politicized nationalism that reinforces the primacy of the party — and defends the authoritarian model as the best bulwark against chaos.

“Chinese nationalism binds the people with the state, not to each other,” said Minxin Pei, a professor of government at Claremont McKenna College.
entrepreneurial  china  jiangsu  portrait  rich  conflict  state  parents  children  education  identity  chinese 
november 2018 by aries1988
不是人们不生孩子,是这个人间不配拥有孩子
我以前也为医生的专业水准和态度气愤过。

小孩肠炎拉肚子,有的医生上来就给开利巴韦林。

小孩感冒、发烧,医生连看都没看孩子一眼就要给输液,在我们明确表达不输液之后开了一张六种药的药方,全是中成药。当时气得我差点想和医生吵起来,没吵起来的原因是我看到了医生桌子上拿玻璃压着的一张A4纸,上面打印的是各种病对应要开的药,每一种,都是中成药。

我当时就不生气了,我的心情大概只用了十几秒就完成了从震惊到悲哀的转换。

医生说到底,是一种高专业性的职业,没有相应的专业内容更新,再加上复杂的利益关系,我认为这些问题不是出在医生身上,而是出在相应的制度上。

但这些问题,最终都将集中在孩子身上。我在打疫苗的地方看到电视里循环播放的鼓吹用中草药的宣传片时,我看到医院门口大排长龙给孩子贴三伏贴时,我看到感冒、发烧、肠炎都给用利巴韦林时,我不知道是该愤怒还是该悲哀,到最后只剩下一种感情,为孩子感到难过。
kid  china  hospital  parents  crisis 
july 2018 by aries1988
Why I Taught My Son to Speak Russian | The New Yorker
As the psycholinguist François Grosjean stresses, language is the product of necessity. If a child discusses, say, hockey only with his Russian-speaking father, he may not learn until later how to say “puck” in English. But he’ll learn when he has to.

I see friends who came over at the same time as I did but didn’t keep up their Russian raising their kids entirely in English. Sometimes I feel sorry for them and all they’re missing; at other times, envious. They have finally liberated themselves from Russia’s yoke, just as their parents wanted them to. They are free to be themselves around their children, to express themselves with ease. They always know the words for scooter and goat and sheep.

Most of us were more comfortable in English than in Russian, and none of us had any wish to repatriate. Why, then, were we doing this? What did we want to pass on to our children, exactly? Certainly nothing about Russia as it is currently constituted. Perhaps it was fitting that we were listening to children’s songs.
english  russia  language  children  learn  story  song  memory  parents  angst 
june 2018 by aries1988
A Stranger at the Family Table | The New Yorker

fundamentally, we are a traditional Chinese family, and this is no more clearly seen than in the way we interact with one another, in the things we reveal about ourselves. We do not admit weakness or sadness. Romantic heartbreak, depression, existential doubts—those are topics of conversation that belong to different cultures and younger generations, educated people who know about Freud and psychotherapy and organic vegetables. Vulnerability is shameful, even taboo; and in the spectrum of human shortcomings, poverty is the greatest frailty. All that is broken must remain in the past.

With my cousins in rural Perak and Kelantan, I spoke a pidgin of Malay, Mandarin, English, and Cantonese. I became quite skilled quite young at modulating my speech to suit whomever I was speaking to. I knew what proportion of Malay or Mandarin or colloquial English to use, and in what situation, knew when to swear in Cantonese, knew when to be correct, when to be urban-cool, when to be country-direct.
banyan  family  story  children  hardship  immigrant  mentality  grandparent  parents  malaysia 
november 2017 by aries1988
Letter of Recommendation Cabbages and Kings
A game that’s actually fun to play with your children.

I love my children and love being with them — in theory. But in practice, you must fill those hours of togetherness with something that doesn’t make you or your children squirm with impatience.

most of the stuff you can do with children is terrible. Kids’ board games are bad. Pretending to be pirates or whatever is bad. Crafts are bad. Playing sports with kids is bad until about age 13, when the opposing trajectories of your athletic abilities and your child’s athletic abilities intersect, and then it’s good for like a week, and then they reliably crush you, and it’s bad again.

They play cards so differently, befitting their personalities: the older in a constant state of simmering rage at the unjustness of everyone else’s moves, which turns, in the moment of victory, to benevolent forgiveness; the younger silently, watchfully processing the game and then making a surprising and intuitive move to defeat us all.
idea  moi  train  travel  family  card  game  fun  parents  kid 
november 2017 by aries1988
I'm Finally Ready To Talk About How My Parents Died
Icky’s death was real. From his passing, I learned that death involves recognition of the life that has passed. It brings people together. It follows a logical process. My parents’ deaths did not follow these rules. Rather, it was unexpected, chaotic, and horrifying. It was an explosion that tore through my life and left a film of dusty, smoky particulate in its wake. Immediately after, you are choking and sputtering and gasping for lack of clean air. Eventually, time lets you breathe easier. You think you may have escaped unscathed, but the poison you inhaled settles in any chasm it can find. Let it simmer a good 10 years and it may just become a cancer. Eating you alive all the while without you even knowing it.
killing  crime  murder  death  children  growup  story  memory  parents  loss  love  couple 
october 2017 by aries1988
Joe DiMaggio Babysat My Daughter at the Airport | Reader's Digest
She was very, very upset. She said, “I can’t believe you’ve let this family come apart. I can’t believe this child will grow up without a father.” (Which was never true and has never been true since.)
story  luck  destiny  airport  parents  children  career  research  university  couple  marriage 
october 2017 by aries1988
I Have a Message for You
To escape Auschwitz, she left her father to die. Decades later, she got a message from him.
video  ww2  holocaust  story  miracle  parents 
october 2017 by aries1988
感伤的旅程(下) | 最好金龟换酒

有一天晚上读绘本的时候,她习惯性地想从书页上拿一个巧克力甜甜圈假装吃,但手指忽然在下一秒僵在半空——

我今天尿裤子了,她的表情羞涩中带着遗憾,不能吃巧克力甜甜圈……

真想把那毫无自觉的天真装进什么容器里保存下来啊!在这样的时刻我还是很喜欢她的,就好像一只母鸡带着困惑的好奇发现自己孵出了一只不同的品种。

自从她迈入terrible two,开启了人生第一个叛逆期,几乎每天都有大大小小的战役在家中打响——无论想不想要都先说不要,后悔了又鬼哭狼嚎;什么事情都想要自己做,能力配不上野心又气得跳脚;情绪堪称瞬息万变,毫无征兆就可以随时翻脸;脾气坏起来简直像个出租车司机,被批评时打岔找借口的本领又堪比法律界人士……

育儿书里常强调父母需要温柔而坚定
children  fun  book  parents 
september 2017 by aries1988
Plus que cinq dodos sans les enfants !
Toute l’année, on attend les vacances pour souffler un peu et prendre du temps pour soi. Mais le moment de la séparation est redouté tant par les parents que par leur progéniture.
parents  children  education  self  family  couple  vacation 
august 2017 by aries1988
How to make cities more child-friendly
Raising children in the city is stressful. However, most parents now do it. For the first time ever, a majority of humans (including children) live in urban areas. Even dense metropoles such as New York and London are filling with kids. These cities were designed by men who didn’t do childcare, and it shows.

Throw into this mix another lethal piece of tech: the iPad, the robot babysitter. Instead of spending your afternoon chivvying your kids, you can now just let them zone out to the video game Clash Royale. This is especially attractive when air pollution (largely car-induced) makes it, at times, officially unsafe for them to go outside. That’s a common event in London, and standard in the children’s dystopia (and therefore failed city) Beijing.

Cities also need to use their spaces more. Civic buildings could house play centres on evenings and weekends. When offices and supermarkets are closed, their car parks should be used for football or skateboarding. School playgrounds should stay open at weekends, and floodlit parks after dark. Already, schemes such as London Play allow residents to request that their streets be briefly pedestrianised, typically on Sundays, letting locals go outside and meet each other. “We invite the elderly neighbours, and make sure there is tea and cake out,” says Sam Williams, a landscape architect at Arup who studies child-friendly cities.
parents  children  play  city  opinion  future  kid 
may 2017 by aries1988
Et vous, voterez-vous comme vos parents ?

Qu’il soit accepté ou rejeté, l’héritage parental est très présent au moment de choisir son candidat. Cette élection si surprenante favorise aussi des échanges riches en famille, même en cas de désaccords.

Des aïeux héroïques continuent parfois d’inspirer des choix politiques : résistants chez des gaullistes, républicains espagnols chez des communistes… Et plus généralement des bribes de conversations, des habitudes prises par imprégnation.

Cette dernière crée plutôt un lien, même en cas de désaccord. « C’est le sujet qui nous permet de communiquer, de nous engueuler, de s’opposer de façon légitime, et aussi sans doute de faire passer de l’émotion sans être dans l’intime », relate Nancy, 47 ans. « Mon père m’appelle tous les jours pour me convaincre de voter Macron, raconte Julien, 21 ans, qui prévoit de voter Hamon. Ce sont les conversations les plus substantielles que j’ai eues avec lui. »
family  français  politics  heritage  children  parents 
april 2017 by aries1988
Baby User Manual: 2017 Edition - The New Yorker

Never underestimate Baby. Baby knows your weaknesses and your darkest fears. In an effort to challenge you, Baby will constantly attempt self-harm. It is your job to thwart these efforts and keep Baby alive. Baby will not thank you for this. In fact, Baby will likely be very angry.

As soon as Baby is capable of operating Adult’s iPhone or other mobile device (typically at four to six weeks), Baby shall be given priority in using it for entertainment purposes. It will be Baby’s decision whether to destroy it, cover it in mashed potatoes, or delete all photos on the device.

Baby shall be offered access to all of the same fashions as Adult. Just because he grows out of anything you buy him within weeks doesn’t mean Baby shouldn’t have skinny jeans and the latest Air Jordans.

When Baby enters the subway car, all Adults shall humbly offer their seats. Baby has likely been napping, eating, and playing for several hours, and is exhausted.

If Adult dies during this process, another nearby Adult will take over. As they say, It takes a village.
humor  baby  parents  guide  moi 
march 2017 by aries1988
Sing to me in Vietnamese: A daughter learns the language of her refugee parents through song
A Vietnamese-American woman stays in touch with her cultural roots through language and song. But which languages will she pass on to her own children?
podcast  vietnam  heritage  language  children  parents  gaijin  usa 
september 2016 by aries1988
How Helicopter Parenting Can Cause Binge Drinking
We didn’t need much help from our parents to do those things. Which meant that at night, we were free. And we did many dangerous things. Mothers were not yet against drunk driving; cheerful ladies did not give you condoms at school. It wasn’t an arcadia, and many times things went terribly wrong. But most of us survived.

Today, of course, all of that is different: Professional-class parents and their children are tightly bound to each other in the relentless pursuit of admission to a fancy college. A kid on that track can’t really separate from her parents, as their close involvement in this shared goal is essential. Replicating the social class across a generation is a joint project.

A teenager growing up in one of the success factories—the exceptional public high school in the fancy zip code, the prestigious private school—will oftentimes be a person whose life is composed of extremes: extreme studying, extreme athletics, extreme extracurricular pursuits, and extreme drinking. Binge drinking slots in neatly with the other, more obviously enhancing endeavors.

A binge drinker emerges from college both elevated and coarsened: educated enough to compete in the market and sullied enough by the hard knocks of binge drinking that he won’t be too shocked by what he finds there.

make too much consciousness hard for anyone to take.
essay  drinking  university  usa  parents  parenting  choice  debate  opinion  history  culture  sports  society  college 
august 2016 by aries1988
My Father, the YouTube Star
https://www.instapaper.com/read/754795268

As a child who immigrated from Hong Kong, I was raised as an American during the day and Chinese after school. I brought home Western ideas that confounded my parents: sarcasm, irony, recalcitrance.

Our relationship reached a plateau of cordial indifference: We lived 2,000 miles apart and talked on the phone once a week about nothing important at all.

The videos are earnest and adorably cheese-ball, bearing the production tropes of ’80s VHS: There are spinning wipe effects, gratuitous zooms, saccharine background music.

Watching through nearly two dozen more videos, I realized every single dish had been served in my childhood home. Macau-style Portuguese coconut chicken. Pan-fried turnip cake. Sweet-and-sour pork. This time, the wave of nostalgia washed over me: I was 12 again, sitting at the kitchen table, my family’s mouths too preoccupied to squabble.

The only thing your mom had left was the memory of her taste. We’re afraid that if you wanted to eat your childhood dishes, and one day we’re both no longer around, you wouldn’t know how to cook it.
parents  distance  telephone  family  food  usa  gaijin  memory  record  video  instapaper_favs 
july 2016 by aries1988
和父母一起住如何避免矛盾?试着把房间好好规划一下
再总结一遍要点:
+ 区隔储物、分开收纳
+ 给每个人制造一个窝点
+ 对长辈忍字为先,然后再暗度陈仓
home  share  parents  howto 
july 2016 by aries1988
Words of Obama’s Father Still Waiting to Be Read by His Son
Relatives have described Barack Obama Sr. as a complicated man, brilliant and imperious, charming and brash, who began to drink heavily as his dreams of becoming one of Kenya’s leading government economists foundered. He died in a car crash at age 46 without ever fulfilling his early promise.

President Obama often describes his life as an only-in-America saga, the improbable rise of the son of a white woman from Kansas and a black man from Kenya to the American presidency. But his father’s ascent was astounding, too, as he journeyed from the dusty roads of his rural village to the halls of Harvard.
story  family  parents  obama 
june 2016 by aries1988
香港碎片 | 最好金龟换酒
香港人多路窄,婴儿车在闹市往往寸步难行。因此灵活方便的婴儿背带颇为盛行,在餐厅常见几家朋友一道聚餐,末了爸爸们一人一个背带将小小人儿兜在胸前起身离去,场面蔚为壮观。小朋友们似乎也很享受从这个角度打量世界,招摇过市时总是一副神气活现的样子。

离开青岛时正是苦寒冬日,在香港过年让人大松一口气。走出机场的那一瞬间很可能是小毛衣几个月来最开心的时刻,连这里的风都是温暖的,被包裹在厚重羽绒服里连小手都露不出来的憋屈日子终于结束了。

外佣撑起了香港职业家庭的半边天,令更多香港女性摆脱了家务的羁绊。每次在维多利亚公园看到带着孩子的外佣,我都深深觉得,无论港人和外佣之间是如何地相爱相杀,你都不得不承认这群透明人实际上是香港社会最坚实的后盾,用低薪与汗水浇筑着香港的经济奇迹。

每次来香港我都抓紧一切机会吃吃吃——烧腊、云吞面、鱼皮饺、钵仔糕、豆腐花、菠萝油。。。在它们沉沦之前,做得一年得一年,吃得一顿是一顿。

二十年前我第一次去香港,觉得那里的人们友善而愉快,是那种无忧无虑了不起的盖茨比的愉快。如今的香港人却都在紧张地生活,想法如钉子一般尖锐,语言像一颗颗子弹随时准备伤人。

电影《麦兜,菠萝油王子》中,麦太不断地给麦兜讲着那个故事:从前有一个王子.。。。有一日,佢变左个佬。这是世界上最悲伤的菠萝油,这是只有香港人才能听懂的故事。
blog  hongkong  story  baby  parents  city 
may 2016 by aries1988
Dad, the Ant Killer
Call me a bad person if you want. I can’t help it. I’m a father.
parents  children  animal  love 
april 2016 by aries1988
How to Take Your Baby to Work
Get the right equipment. Line up temporary sitters just in case.
baby  parenting  work  parents 
january 2016 by aries1988
Busting the baby brain myth: Why motherhood makes minds sharper | New Scientist
In adults, such rapid changes in grey matter normally occur only as a result of major events like illness or brain injury. It just goes to show that “pregnancy is not just some minor event”, as Kinsley puts it. “These changes represent a separate developmental period every bit as important as sexual differentiation or puberty.”

women in the last trimester of pregnancy tend to be much less stressed. This is down to a dampening of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, the system responsible for the flight-or-fight response. These changes appear to last beyond pregnancy, although for precisely how long remains unclear.

Starting in late pregnancy, women get better at detecting fear, anger and disgust in computer-generated faces, though their ability to detect surprise and positive emotions such as happiness doesn’t change.

corticotropin-releasing hormone – secreted by the hypothalamus – rises dramatically during pregnancy, which seems to play a role in making the mother-to-be feel less stressed. But an abnormal spike in its levels is associated with postnatal depression, Glynn has found.
children  pregnancy  parents  brain  intelligence  female 
january 2016 by aries1988
In Search of Their Fathers: Seeking Redemption in Vietnam
Six Americans who lost their fathers in the war met in Ho Chi Minh City with Vietnamese who also lost their parents and found a shared sadness, but no anger.
story  war  death  vietnam  revisit  memory  parents  children 
december 2015 by aries1988
Motherhood, Screened Off
The problem with smartphones isn’t their ubiquity. It’s their opacity.

With my choice of e-book over hardcover, I had unwittingly cast myself as a familiar, much-maligned character: the mom who is blind to the daily pleasures of parenting, focused instead on some diversion which, by virtue of its taking place on that phone, is inherently trivial. The phone cruelly reduces even the worthiest of escapes to one more bit of busywork.

The difference is that those tasks, by virtue of not all transpiring on one opaque device, were tangible and thus felt legitimate.
parents  children  gadget  iphone  story  parenting  family  life 
november 2015 by aries1988
The Strange Persistence of First Languages - Issue 30: Identity - Nautilus
I was mortally offended when my first-grade teacher asked me on the first day of school if I knew a little English—I don’t know a little English, was my indignant and heavily accented retort. I know a lot of English. In the schoolyard, I quickly learned that my Czech was seen as having little value by my friends, aside from the possibility of swearing in another language—a value I was unable to deliver, given that my parents were cursing teetotalers.

I watched as my father grew more and more frustrated at his powerlessness to pass on to his children the legacy he most longed to leave: a burning religious piety, the nurturing of family ties, pleasure in the music and traditions of his region, and an abiding respect for ancestors. All of these became diluted by the steady flow of new memories narrated in English, laced with Anglophone aspiration and individualism. As we entered adulthood and dispersed all over North America into our self-reliant lives, my father gave up. He moved back home.

Losing your native tongue unmoors you not only from your own early life but from the entire culture that shaped you. You lose access to the books, films, stories, and songs that articulate the values and norms that you’ve absorbed. You lose the embrace of an entire community or nation for whom your family’s odd quirks are not quirks all. You lose your context.

Why is a heritage language so conducive to well-being? Michael Chandler, one of the authors of the suicide study, emphasizes that a sense of cultural continuity makes people resilient by providing them with a cohesive self-concept.

The complicated inflections of Czech, described as character-building by an acquaintance who’d learned the language in college, began to assemble into somewhat orderly rows in my mind, and I quickly ventured onto more and more adventurous grammatical terrain. Just a few weeks into my visit, I briefly passed as a real Czech speaker in a conversation with a stranger. Relearning Czech so quickly felt like having linguistic superpowers.

When Mandarin speakers hear nonsense syllables that are identical except for their tones, they show heightened activity in the left hemisphere of the brain, where people normally process sounds that signal differences in meaning—like the difference between the syllables pa and ba. But speakers of non-tonal languages like English have more activity in the right hemisphere, showing that the brain doesn’t treat tone as relevant for distinguishing words. A recent study found that Chinese-born babies adopted into French homes showed brain activity that matched Chinese speakers and was clearly distinct from monolingual French speakers—even after being separated from their birth language for more than 12 years.

For me, the English phrase pork with cabbage and dumplings refers to a concept, the national dish of the Czechs. But hearing the Czech phrase vepřo-knedlo-zelo evokes the fragrance of roasting meat, pillowy dumpling loaves being pulled steaming out of a tall pot and sliced with sewing thread, and the clink of the nice china as the table is dressed for Sunday dinner, the fulcrum of every week.

English was the language in which I forged my independence, the language of my individuation—but it was in Czech that I was nurtured, comforted, and sung to.
language  story  motherland  east-europe  czech  parents 
november 2015 by aries1988
The Ghosts in Our Machines - The New Yorker
The confluence of emotions, when I registered what I was looking at, was unlike anything I had ever experienced—something akin to the simultaneous rush of a million overlapping feelings. There was joy, certainly—“Mom! I found you! Can you believe it?”—but also deep, deep sadness. There was heartbreak and hurt, curiosity and wonder, and everything, seemingly, in between.
story  parents  google  map  love  death  memory  serendipity 
november 2015 by aries1988
Holding Your Breath in India
The city’s air is more than twice as polluted as Beijing’s, according to the World Health Organization. (India, in fact, has 13 of the world’s 25 most polluted cities, while Lanzhou is the only Chinese city among the worst 50; Beijing ranks 79th.)
story  india  expat  children  parents  pollution 
june 2015 by aries1988
Golf in China Is Younger Than Tiger Woods, but Growing Up Fast - NYTimes.com
Xie Chengfeng had a fever. Otherwise, the Chinese golfer would have been driving his orange coupe to the practice range on this June morning rather than…
future  parents  golf  china  children  chinese 
may 2015 by aries1988
« Madame, votre enfant est au poste »
Serge Aranguren est familier de ce merveilleux mécanisme d’autodéfense. « Personne n’aime la sanction. Pas plus les adultes pris en défaut parce qu’ils ont roulé trop vite ou consommé de l’alcool. Le parent au commissariat a l’impression d’avoir loupé quelque chose. À défaut de pouvoir échapper à la sanction, il essaie d’y échapper intellectuellement en se disant qu’après tout, le DVD a été restitué, etc. » Comme l’explique Sylvie, dont le fils a été arrêté en possession de cannabis, « le moment où il fait la leçon à ton gamin, tu te sens minable, t’as l’impression que le flic est obligé de prendre ta place de parent parce que t’as pas assuré ».
parents  crime  police  temoignage  children  teenager 
may 2015 by aries1988
Prépas, l'excellence au prix fort
“Quand Napoléon crée les élites de la nation, ajoute la psychanalyste Claire-Marine François-Poncet, il remplace la noblesse de naissance par une noblesse de mérite. L’effort qu’on lui demande doit être à la hauteur des catastrophes de la Révolution et des guerres napoléoniennes. On a tué l’aristocratie de privilège. Il faut payer le crime.”
teacher  life  temoignage  opinion  parents  student  story  prepa  français  education 
may 2015 by aries1988
In a Changing China, New Matchmaking Markets
The firm subjected the finalists to another round of interviews and psychological evaluations. Barely two months after the search began, Mr. Big received thick dossiers on each of the eight, with detailed information about their families and finances, habits and hobbies, and physical and mental conditions.
children  china  today  youth  money  marriage  parents 
april 2015 by aries1988
La classe prépa, une galère aussi pour les parents
Le rythme de travail, la confrontation des premiers de classe, le stress des concours qui monte, transforment la cellule familiale en cellule de soutien psychologique. Soir après soir, « remotiver le gamin laminé », « booster », « faire baisser la pression », « désamorcer les angoisses sur leurs capacités », « dédramatiser »…
prepa  temoignage  story  parents 
april 2015 by aries1988
Why a Generation of Adoptees Is Returning to South Korea
Lovell was one of the very few female adoptees I heard about with a Korean boyfriend. He’s a musician who tells her he is “not a typical Korean guy.” Still, “he scolds me, saying, ‘You should be doing this,' ” she said, imitating a paternal voice. Laura Klunder also pointed out the various ways gender roles are ingrained in daily life: Female adoptees are often viewed as masculine when they wear clunky shoes and carry their own bags of groceries — a sharp contrast to the young Korean women in high heels, short skirts and meticulously applied layers of makeup. Koreans also consider it unladylike for women to smoke in public. And if a handyman arrives at a woman’s apartment to fix something, he will often ask to speak to the husband. “In the U.S., I feel my race,” Lovell said. “Here I feel my gender. This is what it must have been like in the United States during the ‘Mad Men’ era.”

That night, Klunder and her friends passed plates of bibimbap (rice topped with meat and vegetables), soondubu jjigae (tofu stew) and pa jun (scallion pancake) around the table and ordered bottles of beer and soju.
korea  society  children  parents 
april 2015 by aries1988
Kids’ Birthday Parties Have Become Absurdly Extravagant. Here’s How We Let It Happen.
You can blame it on what Cornell University economics professor Robert H. Frank calls an “expenditure cascade.” In short, as people at the top of the income pile spend more on an item, it causes everyone to upgrade their expectations and expenditures. Happy extravagant birthday, kids!

The United States government claims it will cost a middle-income family about $245,000 to raise a child born in 2013 to the age of 18. The cost has increased every year since the start of Great Recession in 2007, even as household income and net worth have either stagnated or fallen for almost all but the wealthiest households.
parents  children  birthday  money 
january 2015 by aries1988
Sad Dads in the Empty Nest
Fathers occupy a more central place in family life than they once did: Since the 1960s, fathers have more than doubled the number of hours they spend on housework and now do about a third of household chores, according to the Pew Research Center. They have nearly tripled the time they spend with their kids, from 2.5 hours a week to 7.3, a number that is sure to increase with the growing number of men asking employers for paternity leave and other work-life concessions, and the advent of baby-care boot camps, meet-up groups and websites catering to fathers who want to be present in the day-to-day and even minute-to-minute lives of their kids.

Social psychologists talk about the departure of adult children as a time when one social role becomes obsolete and a new one must be discovered. Back when most mothers did not work outside the home, the person whose role evaporated was the woman’s.

Social psychologists talk about the departure of adult children as a time when one social role becomes obsolete and a new one must be discovered. Back when most mothers did not work outside the home, the person whose role evaporated was the woman’s.

Forty or 50 years ago, the overworked male breadwinner often did not have the time or the social permission to develop a close connection with the children he was supporting, and when an adult child left home, that chance could be lost. Today’s men are more likely to have enjoyed the happy unscripted moments that create deeper bonds.
opinion  story  children  growup  parents 
september 2014 by aries1988
Filling the Empty Nest With Animals - NYTimes.com
But they do belong in mine. Back inside our place, I put out a saucer of milk for our guest.

“Look how cute she is,” I said. “Our new roommate.”

My boyfriend understood.

“O.K.,” he said. “We’ll give it a try.”

That was the moment New York began to feel like home.
story  animal  newyork  growup  pet  parents  children  couple 
september 2014 by aries1988
那两个名为“家”的人 :: 中国三明治
父母在没有我的房子里,分外孤单冷清,妈妈说她跟爸爸常常相坐无言,我走后,家里像少了很多人一样,忽然变得了无生气。这么多年,他们习惯把所有的情感与爱投注在我身上,蓦然失去了投注的对象,那种失落和惆怅无法排遣。我高中时最爱吃鲫鱼,父母其实都不喜欢吃,可是我上大学走后,父亲每次买菜走到鲫鱼摊位前,都会盯着活蹦乱跳的鲫鱼看很久,不买,却也迟迟不肯走。我上大学了,父亲再也不用每天凌晨5点钟起床给我准备早饭,但是七年来给他养成的生物钟,他到了5点还是会自动醒来,静静发呆。
parents 
september 2013 by aries1988
ChinaGirl的日记: 关于生孩子这回事儿
我是觉得,女孩子在年轻的时候,很多时候比较没有主见被周围的人左右思想是很有可能的,不过,自己还是要多想想自己究竟要什么样子的生活,尽量的理清楚思绪,生活多数时候还是跟自己的选择有关系,如果自己内心足够强大(毕竟现实中对一个单身女孩子可能相对来说承受的压力遇到的问题会比较多)不要婚姻和孩子也并无不妥,自己过得开心就好!另外一方面生孩子可能还是很多人想要的吧,不过既然自己愿意要婚姻要孩子,首先得对自己负责,也需要对他人负责,没有坚强的内心,婚与不婚生与不生都容易出问题吧。
parents  children  youth  choice 
july 2013 by aries1988
所谓亲情
现在,我过着想象中自由而闯荡的生活,却发现把两个最爱的人留在了原地。有时候,真的只想做个没出息的人,整天赖在家,烦着爸妈。是谁说,再大的出息,敌得过父母新添的一道皱纹,一缕白发? 龙应台说,所谓父女母子一场,只不过意味着,你和他的缘分就是今生今世不断地在目送他的背影渐行渐远。高中的时候读到这里,觉得很有意境很有感觉;今天,它却真实得让我不忍直视。
http://www.instapaper.com/read/351579483
youth  essay  parents 
january 2013 by aries1988
生或不生,想清楚先
如今看到一些单纯的父母,对她说孩子多么可爱。秦子怡会反驳:“做丁克不是因为觉得孩子不可爱,或者觉得孩子烦,就是不想让那么纯洁的人,最后变成一个让人厌恶的人。”按秦子怡的说法,一些“像被洗了脑的妈妈”成天感恩,感谢自己的孩子如天使一般降临,每听到此,秦子怡都会泼冷水:“我小时候也是天使哦!” http://www.instapaper.com/read/343928771
children  china  young  future  society  parents 
december 2012 by aries1988
【读图识政治】父母当官=更好的工作?
清华大学的研究成果表明,父母的政治资本对高校毕业生第一份工作的工资存在显著的积极影响。“官二代”大学毕业生的起薪比“非官二代”高出13%(约280元/月),这个工资溢价相当于两年教育的回报。 | 政见
work  youth  price  parents  politics  china 
september 2012 by aries1988
【方舟评论】爱的能力,父母也要与时俱进
亲子关系是家庭关系的两个基本维度之一。父母与子女之间有爱,就有动机培育一种以爱、理解、反思和尊重为基础的亲子伦理。爱是一种能力,需要恰当的表达,如果一方表达的方式不当,那会给另一方造成巨大的伤害和痛苦。如何表达爱,如何避免和补救伤害,子女要学习,父母也要学习!
googlereader  parents  children  opinion 
august 2012 by aries1988
活着的意义
于娟,《此生未完成》的作者,一个复旦大学青年教师,一个两岁半孩子的母亲,一个四十岁男人的妻子,两个六旬老人的女儿,一个乳腺癌晚期患者。
http://www.instapaper.com/read/274486305
story  death  parents  china  scientist  shanghai 
august 2012 by aries1988
柴静:没深夜痛哭过的人,不足以谈人生
柴静:没有深夜痛哭过的人,不足以谈人生。很多事不用问值不值得,只用问,它对你来说,是不是有如珍宝。
story  taiwan  war  conflict  tragedy  home  shandong  heze  death  parents  ww2  son 
august 2012 by aries1988
再生一个孩子很难
在失独群体中,他们更为特殊。4年前,“5·12”地震让近8000多个独生子女家庭失去了孩子。虽然国家也采取了一系列补助方式,但对于这些地震失独的家庭来说,想再生一个孩子很难,更难的是无法愈合的精神创伤。
http://www.instapaper.com/read/304904939
children  parents  earthquake  sichuan  china  family  planning 
july 2012 by aries1988
儿子的智商妈决定?
网上一度盛传着一种说法,说是母亲对孩子的智商有着至关重要的作用。我听到的一个版本是:“决定智商的八对基因全部都是位于 X 染色体上面,然后男生是 XY, X 是来自母亲,Y是来自父亲。所以男生的智商全部都是来自母亲的遗传。“
intelligence  children  biology  parents  science 
june 2011 by aries1988

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