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aries1988 : sex   38

music  sex  yunnan  folklore 
27 days ago by aries1988
Thicker than blood: A young Chinese woman's coming of age - SupChina
Always careful about what I ate, she enforced an even stricter diet. Certain types of animal products must be avoided because they contained growth hormones. Some seeds and plants could only be consumed in small quantities because they stimulated the sexual organs, per traditional Chinese medicine. In addition to her belief that the flow of the womb drained the brain, my mother dreaded the approach of womanhood for her daughter, a perilous world filled with lurking eyes and wandering hands.

The only item my mother cleaned with a vengeance was our underwear. She rinsed them by hand, and she boiled them in water. The designated utensil was a large porcelain washbasin with a pair of mandarin ducks printed on the bottom next to the character for “double happiness.” The basin was a wedding gift for her and my father, typical of their time.

“Only boiling water can kill all the germs,” my mother explained her peculiar method. “That place must be kept clean, otherwise you will get diseases, and people will think you are a prostitute.”
body  female  growup  girl  story  mother  chinese  sex  food  tradition  family  education  marriage 
march 2019 by aries1988
What Can We Learn from Utopians of the Past?
Adam Gopnik writes about four nineteenth-century authors who offered blueprints for a better world—but their progressive visions had a dark side.

The sensible lesson one might draw from this is that the human condition is one in which the distribution of bad and good is forever in flux, and so any blueprint of perfection is doomed to failure.

Robertson assumes that if we can just add to the utopian visions of 1918 the progressive pieties of 2018—if we reform their gender essentialism and their implicit hierarchism and several other nasty isms—then we will at last arrive at the right utopia. This gives his book something of the exhausted cheerfulness of a father on a nine-hour car trip. “We’re almost there!” he keeps saying, as the kids in the back seat fret, and peer at license plates.

Liberalism is a perpetual program of reform, intended to alleviate the cruelty we see around us. The result will be not a utopia but merely another society, with its own unanticipated defects to correct, though with some of the worst injustices—tearing the limbs from people or keeping them as perpetual chattel or depriving half the population of the right to speak to their own future—gone, we hope for good. That is as close as liberalism gets to a utopia: a future society that is flawed, like our own, but less cruel as time goes on.

We remake interior lives to make exterior improvements, because the real current of social change lies inside minds and therefore inside people’s actual existence. We always want to get past the room we’re in in order to break out and change the universe. The lesson that life tends to teach is that change begins at home, and that we can’t escape rooms on our way to worlds. The world is made of rooms.
utopia  writer  book  society  politics  sex  marriage  love  philosophy  19C  liberalism 
august 2018 by aries1988
“Cat Person”
“It was a terrible kiss, shockingly bad; Margot had trouble believing that a grown man could possibly be so bad at kissing.”
love  sex  perception  story  movie  imagination 
february 2018 by aries1988
« C’est devenu compliqué d’être un homme »

La drague, le flirt, la séduction obéissaient aux mêmes codes qui les avaient régis depuis la nuit des temps (approche, sourires, beaux habits, beaux discours, recherche du point de contact – physique, sentimental ou intellectuel) à la seule différence que le chemin vers l’arrivée (un baiser, une caresse) était sans doute plus bref.

J’ai en mémoire cette fameuse phrase de Roland Barthes à propos du langage dans sa leçon inaugurale au Collège de France (1977) : « Le fascisme, ce n’est pas d’empêcher de dire mais d’obliger de dire. » On en est là, non ?

J’attends à présent que mes petits-enfants grandissent pour les emmener au cinéma. Et si jamais James Bond doit envoyer deux SMS et trois e-mails pour obtenir le consentement d’une James Bond Girl, si Han Solo doit se mettre aux genoux de la princesse Leia pour un baiser, si Indiana Jones doit ranger son fouet, bref si on doit en arriver là, je leur passerai les DVD des vieux films. Vaillant et entêté, je résisterai sur mon petit îlot battu par les flots.
essay  france  usa  female  movement  movie  sex  sexism  opinion  censorship 
december 2017 by aries1988
Why Christmas Eve Is The Busiest Day Of The Year For Japan's Love Hotels
For couples in Japan, Christmas Eve is all about the infamous love hotel -- when many of the high-end hotels have already been booked months in advance. By the night of December 24th, many of these hotels are completely full with amorous couples celebrating the holiday season.
japanese  sex  couple  christmas 
december 2017 by aries1988

一个西裔女人招待他,拿过来一份菜单。他没有翻开,只问她,Nasi Goreng 有没有。女侍点头。他就说,好吧,就来一份Nasi Goreng, 一罐啤酒。

印尼炒饭,三年前他吃了整整两个月。那是个一月份,他上了一个雅加达的项目,印尼的一个客户寻求国际并购的机会。印尼是穆斯林社会,风气保守,晚上十一点,肚子饿,唯一开着的餐饮是路边大排档。大排档都一式一样,Chicken Satay, Gado Gado, Nasi Goreng. 所以他每个夜晚就吃这三样,烤鸡肉串,加多加多色拉, 印尼炒饭,配一瓶啤酒。他坐在大排档的塑料棚下面,雨点打在棚面响声如雷。店主在一口大锅前不停翻炒,脸上不停滴下水,不知是汗还是雨。老板娘收钱、擦桌子,扫地,兜里的钱票子都是湿的。大排档粗陋,盐不是放多就是放少,还要不就是没调开, 一口淡一口咸,镬气倒是十足,火候好。他就坐在那条塑料板凳上,这三样吃了两个月。

现在他老婆短发,他的发迹线有点太高。第一只猫头鹰已经被女儿睡得太脏。他知道第二个孩子降生时,老婆会兴高采烈地给他拿出第二只猫头鹰,那一只也会无可挽回地变脏、掉毛。那家做猫头鹰的玩具厂已经倒闭,这种玩具再也买不到了;因为Bill Murray而走红世界的日本威士忌,很多牌子已经卖脱销,十几年内不会有新货。想起这两件事情,他有点伤感。

除了加班和带孩子,他们剩下的可怜的空闲时间都用来看新房和谈房贷,孩子越来越大,必须搬到好学区住才行。对于婚姻,他常常想起Before Midnight,那么烦躁,零碎,温吞吞,缓慢地死去,“也许就和化疗一样”,他有一次这么想到。他疲惫不堪,他老婆恐怕更累,却无法不去爱这一切:毕竟,他们用Lost in Translation里猫头鹰的名字命名了两个孩子:Louise 和Luis。

story  douban  love  sex  memory  nostalgia  melancholy  life  marriage  family  man  youth  middle-age  indonesia  food  work  california 
december 2017 by aries1988
Why post-sex cuddles and pillowtalk count for more than orgasm | Aeon Essays
As Martin Portner, a neurologist living in Brazil, wrote in Scientific American Mind in 2008, people need more than arousal to experience an orgasm: ‘It requires a release of inhibitions and control in which the brain’s centre of vigilance shuts down in males; in females, various areas of the brain involved in controlling thoughts and emotions become silent.’
brain  sex  couple  love  research  scientist 
november 2017 by aries1988
Derrière la polémique Rich Meet Beautiful, le phénomène des « sugar babies »
La plate-forme norvégienne se vante de mettre « en relation » des étudiant(e)s précaires avec des personnes aisées. Une enquête pour proxénétisme a été ouverte.
sex  student  university  business 
october 2017 by aries1988
China Refuses to Admit It Has a Rape Problem. I Would Know. – Foreign Policy
With China’s opening also came first a trickle, and then a flood, of foreign popular culture. Japanese fashion, Hong Kong magazines, and Hollywood films exposed a mass Chinese audience to ideas of young love, romantic choice, and sexual freedom. When a slightly censored version of The Bridges of Madison County, a movie that portrayed a passionate extramarital affair, opened in Beijing in 1996, it sold 1.3 million tickets on its first weekend there.

In the show’s 10 seasons, the six main characters had a combined total of 85 sexual partners who appeared on screen. The sitcom — and by association, American culture and the entire West writ large — came to embody the sexual freedoms that had revolutionized the Chinese bedroom.
politics  feminism  story  china  american  sex  crime  21C 
october 2017 by aries1988
Le clitoris, clé du plaisir féminin

si la répétition est appréciée par 82 % des jouisseuses, les trois quarts aiment aussi les changements de mouvements et/ou de vitesse, et 70 % sont adeptes de la guerre des nerfs (faire durer le plaisir en ralentissant ses caresses, en évitant les zones clés ou en prétendant pénétrer le vagin, mais sans y aller).

nous refusons de parler du clitoris parce qu’il faudrait alors redéfinir la place du pénis dans l’orgasme – et peut-être au passage, la place des hommes. Combien de temps pourrons-nous refuser d’avoir cette conversation ? C’est peut-être là que se trouve le plus grand des mystères.
sex  female  howto 
september 2017 by aries1988
Interview with Ornithologist Richard Prum: What Duck Sex Reveals about Human Nature - SPIEGEL ONLINE - International

Prum: To understand this, you have to consider the evolutionary mechanisms involved: If the female gets the mate she likes, then her offspring will inherit the green head and the quack-quack-quack, all those displays that she likes so much. And since all other females have coevolved to prefer those same traits, her sons will be very successful and she will have lots of grandchildren from him. But if she's fertilized by force, then some random male will father her kids, which means that her offspring are less likely to inherit the attractive traits that she and other females like. That means fewer grandkids. Therefore, evolution will favor any mutation that allows her to get her own choice -- for example by protecting her vagina against forced sex.

Unlike ducks, 97 percent of birds cannot be forcibly fertilized, because the males don't have a penis. Copulation in most birds is achieved by a cloacal kiss, just an apposition (or touching) of orifices. So, to be fertilized, the female has to actively take up the sperm, which means that she retains full control of her sexual choice. By the way, I think this is the essential reason why birds are so beautiful. Since they have the freedom of choice, females exhibit aesthetic preferences. And, as a result of these preferences, males developed amazingly elaborate ornaments.

SPIEGEL: You are suggesting that women were attracted to small teeth?

Prum: Yeah, and I even think that this is where our smile comes from. It is a sexual symbol advertising one's state of de-weaponization.

SPIEGEL: And females made them give up this bad habit by choosing more good-natured males?

Prum: Yes. Solving the infanticide problem was the biggest hurdle in human evolution. Infanticide is the single largest source of infant mortality in gorillas and chimpanzees. Approximately 30 percent of all infant deaths are the result of infanticide by males. On the other hand, everything that is special about human biology requires greater investment in longer childhoods -- whether it's complex cognition, language, culture or technology. None of that could possibly have evolved if a large portion of babies are being murdered by sexual violence.
bird  sex  human  animal  evolution  interview  opinion  research  duck  penis 
july 2017 by aries1988
The race to build the world’s first sex robot
something as lifelike as possible – it’s his brand’s USP (unique selling point).

Matt McMullen says he’s helping the socially isolated, but once it becomes possible for a man to own a companion whose sole reason for existing is to give him pleasure, without the inconvenience of its own ambitions and needs, menstrual cycles and jealous passions, bathroom habits and in-laws, he may turn away from human relationships altogether.
reportage  robot  manufacturing  captor  industry  emotion  human  love  sex  money 
may 2017 by aries1988

love  advice  sex  couple  story  life  question 
may 2015 by aries1988
Finding Equilibrium in Seesawing Libidos -
For these women and my wife, there had to be the perfect confluence of events for sex to happen. My wife’s requirements were that her job had to be going well, the children didn’t need her attention, the house had to be clean, the temperature had to be between 76 and 84 degrees, and the Democrats had to control at least one branch of government.
story  love  sex  couple 
march 2015 by aries1988
情人节,来学习《性爱大师》中的性暗示吧 | 性 情主题站 | 果壳网 科技有意思

让-保罗·萨特(Jean-Paul Sartre)对西蒙娜·德·波伏娃(Simone de Beauvoir)的爱称就是“河狸”(castor,河狸的法语名)因为他觉得英语的河狸beaver和波伏娃的姓Beauvoir很相似,而且波伏娃作为一个学生十分用工,和辛勤工作的河狸一样。不过后世对这个爱称的翻译大多都出了错,翻译成了“海狸”。
性暗示的词语在英语里对应的词组是sexual innuendo,当有一个人说了可以被理解成性暗示的语句后,另一个人可以大喊“Innuendo Bingo”来指出,英国广播公司甚至以此创立了一个电台节目叫做Innendo Bingo。
sex  language  culture  from:rss 
february 2014 by aries1988
sex  opinion  from:rss 
january 2014 by aries1988

essay  sex  life  human  mind  success  self 
november 2013 by aries1988
The joy of art: why Japan embraced sex with a passion
In place of the Chinese emphasis on maintaining health and longevity, it explained in detail how to enjoy sex." The same thing happened in art. Shunga, in prints and paintings, might originally have had a purpose in educating newly wedded couples, or fending off fires, or expressing cosmic harmony, but they were primarily meant to be enjoyed.
sex  japan 
october 2013 by aries1988
东亚人头发粗胸部小与古代基因变异有关 - 纽约时报中文网 国际纵览

但是,西雅图华盛顿大学(University of Washington)的遗传学家乔舒亚·阿基(Joshua Akey)说,他认为这种基因在东亚的传播更可能是由于性选择。粗毛发和小胸是肉眼可见的性信号,如果男性偏好这种特质,随着携带此特征的女性孕育更多孩子,这种特质就可以迅速变得更普遍。阿基博士说,决定显性特征的基因,如欧洲人中的蓝眼、金发,有着很强的选择信号。与汗腺相比,EDAR基因可见的吸引异性的影响很可能在自然选择上发挥了更大作用。


biology  human  evolution  asia  sex 
february 2013 by aries1988
1994年4月20日,中国通过美国Sprint公司连入Internet的64K国际专线开通,实现了与Internet的全功能连接。从此中国被国际上正式承认为真正拥有全功能Internet的国家。 看“毛片”“黄色录像”在过去是心照不宣的秘密,是私人空间的享受,是同道中人识别的暗语;但在悼念“兰兰”的活动中,这一行为突然公开化,标志化。观赏毛片之于二十一世纪的青年,仿佛摇滚乐在1968年的意义,是他们愤怒的嘶吼,是他们对体制的轻蔑,是他们对未来的迷惘,是他们无处寄放的青春标志,以及青春本身。
history  sex  japan  youth  internet 
january 2013 by aries1988

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