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使不得使不得,老表不是这种仁~~
music  sex  yunnan  folklore 
27 days ago by aries1988
Thicker than blood: A young Chinese woman's coming of age - SupChina
Always careful about what I ate, she enforced an even stricter diet. Certain types of animal products must be avoided because they contained growth hormones. Some seeds and plants could only be consumed in small quantities because they stimulated the sexual organs, per traditional Chinese medicine. In addition to her belief that the flow of the womb drained the brain, my mother dreaded the approach of womanhood for her daughter, a perilous world filled with lurking eyes and wandering hands.

The only item my mother cleaned with a vengeance was our underwear. She rinsed them by hand, and she boiled them in water. The designated utensil was a large porcelain washbasin with a pair of mandarin ducks printed on the bottom next to the character for “double happiness.” The basin was a wedding gift for her and my father, typical of their time.

“Only boiling water can kill all the germs,” my mother explained her peculiar method. “That place must be kept clean, otherwise you will get diseases, and people will think you are a prostitute.”
body  female  growup  girl  story  mother  chinese  sex  food  tradition  family  education  marriage 
march 2019 by aries1988
What Can We Learn from Utopians of the Past?
Adam Gopnik writes about four nineteenth-century authors who offered blueprints for a better world—but their progressive visions had a dark side.

The sensible lesson one might draw from this is that the human condition is one in which the distribution of bad and good is forever in flux, and so any blueprint of perfection is doomed to failure.

Robertson assumes that if we can just add to the utopian visions of 1918 the progressive pieties of 2018—if we reform their gender essentialism and their implicit hierarchism and several other nasty isms—then we will at last arrive at the right utopia. This gives his book something of the exhausted cheerfulness of a father on a nine-hour car trip. “We’re almost there!” he keeps saying, as the kids in the back seat fret, and peer at license plates.

Liberalism is a perpetual program of reform, intended to alleviate the cruelty we see around us. The result will be not a utopia but merely another society, with its own unanticipated defects to correct, though with some of the worst injustices—tearing the limbs from people or keeping them as perpetual chattel or depriving half the population of the right to speak to their own future—gone, we hope for good. That is as close as liberalism gets to a utopia: a future society that is flawed, like our own, but less cruel as time goes on.

We remake interior lives to make exterior improvements, because the real current of social change lies inside minds and therefore inside people’s actual existence. We always want to get past the room we’re in in order to break out and change the universe. The lesson that life tends to teach is that change begins at home, and that we can’t escape rooms on our way to worlds. The world is made of rooms.
utopia  writer  book  society  politics  sex  marriage  love  philosophy  19C  liberalism 
august 2018 by aries1988
“Cat Person”
“It was a terrible kiss, shockingly bad; Margot had trouble believing that a grown man could possibly be so bad at kissing.”
love  sex  perception  story  movie  imagination 
february 2018 by aries1988
« C’est devenu compliqué d’être un homme »

La drague, le flirt, la séduction obéissaient aux mêmes codes qui les avaient régis depuis la nuit des temps (approche, sourires, beaux habits, beaux discours, recherche du point de contact – physique, sentimental ou intellectuel) à la seule différence que le chemin vers l’arrivée (un baiser, une caresse) était sans doute plus bref.

J’ai en mémoire cette fameuse phrase de Roland Barthes à propos du langage dans sa leçon inaugurale au Collège de France (1977) : « Le fascisme, ce n’est pas d’empêcher de dire mais d’obliger de dire. » On en est là, non ?

J’attends à présent que mes petits-enfants grandissent pour les emmener au cinéma. Et si jamais James Bond doit envoyer deux SMS et trois e-mails pour obtenir le consentement d’une James Bond Girl, si Han Solo doit se mettre aux genoux de la princesse Leia pour un baiser, si Indiana Jones doit ranger son fouet, bref si on doit en arriver là, je leur passerai les DVD des vieux films. Vaillant et entêté, je résisterai sur mon petit îlot battu par les flots.
essay  france  usa  female  movement  movie  sex  sexism  opinion  censorship 
december 2017 by aries1988
Why Christmas Eve Is The Busiest Day Of The Year For Japan's Love Hotels
For couples in Japan, Christmas Eve is all about the infamous love hotel -- when many of the high-end hotels have already been booked months in advance. By the night of December 24th, many of these hotels are completely full with amorous couples celebrating the holiday season.
japanese  sex  couple  christmas 
december 2017 by aries1988
印尼炒饭

一个西裔女人招待他,拿过来一份菜单。他没有翻开,只问她,Nasi Goreng 有没有。女侍点头。他就说,好吧,就来一份Nasi Goreng, 一罐啤酒。

印尼炒饭,三年前他吃了整整两个月。那是个一月份,他上了一个雅加达的项目,印尼的一个客户寻求国际并购的机会。印尼是穆斯林社会,风气保守,晚上十一点,肚子饿,唯一开着的餐饮是路边大排档。大排档都一式一样,Chicken Satay, Gado Gado, Nasi Goreng. 所以他每个夜晚就吃这三样,烤鸡肉串,加多加多色拉, 印尼炒饭,配一瓶啤酒。他坐在大排档的塑料棚下面,雨点打在棚面响声如雷。店主在一口大锅前不停翻炒,脸上不停滴下水,不知是汗还是雨。老板娘收钱、擦桌子,扫地,兜里的钱票子都是湿的。大排档粗陋,盐不是放多就是放少,还要不就是没调开, 一口淡一口咸,镬气倒是十足,火候好。他就坐在那条塑料板凳上,这三样吃了两个月。

现在他老婆短发,他的发迹线有点太高。第一只猫头鹰已经被女儿睡得太脏。他知道第二个孩子降生时,老婆会兴高采烈地给他拿出第二只猫头鹰,那一只也会无可挽回地变脏、掉毛。那家做猫头鹰的玩具厂已经倒闭,这种玩具再也买不到了;因为Bill Murray而走红世界的日本威士忌,很多牌子已经卖脱销,十几年内不会有新货。想起这两件事情,他有点伤感。

除了加班和带孩子,他们剩下的可怜的空闲时间都用来看新房和谈房贷,孩子越来越大,必须搬到好学区住才行。对于婚姻,他常常想起Before Midnight,那么烦躁,零碎,温吞吞,缓慢地死去,“也许就和化疗一样”,他有一次这么想到。他疲惫不堪,他老婆恐怕更累,却无法不去爱这一切:毕竟,他们用Lost in Translation里猫头鹰的名字命名了两个孩子:Louise 和Luis。

他还记得自己做过一个春梦,什么情节都没有,只有这个暗恋对象,在洗手台面前,一遍一遍缓慢地拧毛巾。
story  douban  love  sex  memory  nostalgia  melancholy  life  marriage  family  man  youth  middle-age  indonesia  food  work  california 
december 2017 by aries1988
Why post-sex cuddles and pillowtalk count for more than orgasm | Aeon Essays
As Martin Portner, a neurologist living in Brazil, wrote in Scientific American Mind in 2008, people need more than arousal to experience an orgasm: ‘It requires a release of inhibitions and control in which the brain’s centre of vigilance shuts down in males; in females, various areas of the brain involved in controlling thoughts and emotions become silent.’
brain  sex  couple  love  research  scientist 
november 2017 by aries1988
Derrière la polémique Rich Meet Beautiful, le phénomène des « sugar babies »
La plate-forme norvégienne se vante de mettre « en relation » des étudiant(e)s précaires avec des personnes aisées. Une enquête pour proxénétisme a été ouverte.
sex  student  university  business 
october 2017 by aries1988
China Refuses to Admit It Has a Rape Problem. I Would Know. – Foreign Policy
With China’s opening also came first a trickle, and then a flood, of foreign popular culture. Japanese fashion, Hong Kong magazines, and Hollywood films exposed a mass Chinese audience to ideas of young love, romantic choice, and sexual freedom. When a slightly censored version of The Bridges of Madison County, a movie that portrayed a passionate extramarital affair, opened in Beijing in 1996, it sold 1.3 million tickets on its first weekend there.

In the show’s 10 seasons, the six main characters had a combined total of 85 sexual partners who appeared on screen. The sitcom — and by association, American culture and the entire West writ large — came to embody the sexual freedoms that had revolutionized the Chinese bedroom.
politics  feminism  story  china  american  sex  crime  21C 
october 2017 by aries1988
Le clitoris, clé du plaisir féminin

si la répétition est appréciée par 82 % des jouisseuses, les trois quarts aiment aussi les changements de mouvements et/ou de vitesse, et 70 % sont adeptes de la guerre des nerfs (faire durer le plaisir en ralentissant ses caresses, en évitant les zones clés ou en prétendant pénétrer le vagin, mais sans y aller).

nous refusons de parler du clitoris parce qu’il faudrait alors redéfinir la place du pénis dans l’orgasme – et peut-être au passage, la place des hommes. Combien de temps pourrons-nous refuser d’avoir cette conversation ? C’est peut-être là que se trouve le plus grand des mystères.
sex  female  howto 
september 2017 by aries1988
Interview with Ornithologist Richard Prum: What Duck Sex Reveals about Human Nature - SPIEGEL ONLINE - International

Prum: To understand this, you have to consider the evolutionary mechanisms involved: If the female gets the mate she likes, then her offspring will inherit the green head and the quack-quack-quack, all those displays that she likes so much. And since all other females have coevolved to prefer those same traits, her sons will be very successful and she will have lots of grandchildren from him. But if she's fertilized by force, then some random male will father her kids, which means that her offspring are less likely to inherit the attractive traits that she and other females like. That means fewer grandkids. Therefore, evolution will favor any mutation that allows her to get her own choice -- for example by protecting her vagina against forced sex.

Unlike ducks, 97 percent of birds cannot be forcibly fertilized, because the males don't have a penis. Copulation in most birds is achieved by a cloacal kiss, just an apposition (or touching) of orifices. So, to be fertilized, the female has to actively take up the sperm, which means that she retains full control of her sexual choice. By the way, I think this is the essential reason why birds are so beautiful. Since they have the freedom of choice, females exhibit aesthetic preferences. And, as a result of these preferences, males developed amazingly elaborate ornaments.

SPIEGEL: You are suggesting that women were attracted to small teeth?

Prum: Yeah, and I even think that this is where our smile comes from. It is a sexual symbol advertising one's state of de-weaponization.

SPIEGEL: And females made them give up this bad habit by choosing more good-natured males?

Prum: Yes. Solving the infanticide problem was the biggest hurdle in human evolution. Infanticide is the single largest source of infant mortality in gorillas and chimpanzees. Approximately 30 percent of all infant deaths are the result of infanticide by males. On the other hand, everything that is special about human biology requires greater investment in longer childhoods -- whether it's complex cognition, language, culture or technology. None of that could possibly have evolved if a large portion of babies are being murdered by sexual violence.
bird  sex  human  animal  evolution  interview  opinion  research  duck  penis 
july 2017 by aries1988
The race to build the world’s first sex robot
something as lifelike as possible – it’s his brand’s USP (unique selling point).

Matt McMullen says he’s helping the socially isolated, but once it becomes possible for a man to own a companion whose sole reason for existing is to give him pleasure, without the inconvenience of its own ambitions and needs, menstrual cycles and jealous passions, bathroom habits and in-laws, he may turn away from human relationships altogether.
reportage  robot  manufacturing  captor  industry  emotion  human  love  sex  money 
may 2017 by aries1988
当炮友终成眷属
无论男女都会因性而爱,尤其是在美好的性爱中。在和谐愉悦的性爱中,人一定是特别放松和释放的,会呈现特别真实自己,这样放松的自己和美好的性体验都令人希望更多地重复体验。就跟你吃了好吃的菜,下一次还想吃一样。你期待更多的和这个人在一起,继续获得性上的满足,这种期待不仅带来了关系继续发展的机会,也会反过来刺激性爱的激发,让两个人因性生爱。

夏天到了,心理学家说夏天会唤起人们关于童年暑假的美好回忆,所以人会感到更快乐,更轻松,同时性欲也会增强,做爱频率大大增多。约炮有风险,赴约需谨慎,安全排第一!
love  advice  sex  couple  story  life  question 
may 2015 by aries1988
Finding Equilibrium in Seesawing Libidos - NYTimes.com
For these women and my wife, there had to be the perfect confluence of events for sex to happen. My wife’s requirements were that her job had to be going well, the children didn’t need her attention, the house had to be clean, the temperature had to be between 76 and 84 degrees, and the Democrats had to control at least one branch of government.
story  love  sex  couple 
march 2015 by aries1988
情人节,来学习《性爱大师》中的性暗示吧 | 性 情主题站 | 果壳网 科技有意思
鲁迅曾经吐槽说“一见短袖子,立刻想到白臂膊,立刻想到全裸体,立刻想到生殖器,立刻想到性交,立刻想到杂交,立刻想到私生子。中国人的想像惟在这一层能够如此跃进。”不过我们也大可不必为我们的想象力感到自卑或者自豪。实际上,老外在这方面的开脑洞能力也不遑多让。比如去年非常火热的美剧《性爱大师》的片头,就充满了性暗示的图像。
河狸在英语中的单词beaver,根据语境,也可暗示女性的阴部,和pussy同义。

让-保罗·萨特(Jean-Paul Sartre)对西蒙娜·德·波伏娃(Simone de Beauvoir)的爱称就是“河狸”(castor,河狸的法语名)因为他觉得英语的河狸beaver和波伏娃的姓Beauvoir很相似,而且波伏娃作为一个学生十分用工,和辛勤工作的河狸一样。不过后世对这个爱称的翻译大多都出了错,翻译成了“海狸”。
台球的性暗示意味并没有特别一致的说法,不过想象一下打台球的场景,往往是充满了很多暧昧的意味:昏暗的灯光,美女弯腰俯身......也有人把台球形容成“棍子、球和洞”的游戏。
性暗示的词语在英语里对应的词组是sexual innuendo,当有一个人说了可以被理解成性暗示的语句后,另一个人可以大喊“Innuendo Bingo”来指出,英国广播公司甚至以此创立了一个电台节目叫做Innendo Bingo。
sex  language  culture  from:rss 
february 2014 by aries1988
一个问题
这个问题是,男性在小便后为何非洗手不可?
sex  opinion  from:rss 
january 2014 by aries1988
一个没有性魅力的人,做什么事都不会成功
没人想和一具僵硬、胆怯、充满抵抗的身体做爱。那么我们想和什么样的身体做爱?人类数千年的文化艺术作品为我们提供了无数香艳的可视档案,象征画派莫罗描摹的在希律王面前跳舞的莎乐美、法国洛可可画家布歇尔笔下骄纵可爱的小贵妇、安格尔画笔下散发着奶味体香的大宫女、沃特豪斯画作中诱惑水手的海妖塞壬……或者当你直接面对那些描绘罗马人集体沐浴、全称狂欢的画作,直接就是一部古典主义版本的情色A片,画面中充溢着丰乳肥臀、肤若凝脂、自信与娇羞于一体的古代女人们,提醒着我们那是一个淫荡和纯真没有什么区别的时代。

在错误的教育与道德认知的限制之下,人群中的“性呆板”、“性僵硬”、“性冷淡”、比比皆是,在大多数情形之下,这是一个女性的命题。女孩一般都会受家庭以及社会观念影响而或多或少地限制了本身便该有的天然的性的吸引力,不懂得如何正确而快乐地使用它,从而使自己的人生缺乏了一种巨大的乐趣。而乐趣还只是其次,导致我们举手投足是否能呈现出强大气场,常常隐藏于一种难以言说的“吸引力”之中——那就是来自于力比多的魔力。当一个人从自己的身体开始,到自己的灵魂都能够刻骨热爱,毫不掩饰的时候,他(她)便具备了一种胜利意志的暗示,他(她)就算天生不美,却爱自己的每一寸肌肤,相信自己内在的巨大能量,谁会不爱他(她)呢?那便是一个所向披靡的人。
essay  sex  life  human  mind  success  self 
november 2013 by aries1988
The joy of art: why Japan embraced sex with a passion
In place of the Chinese emphasis on maintaining health and longevity, it explained in detail how to enjoy sex." The same thing happened in art. Shunga, in prints and paintings, might originally have had a purpose in educating newly wedded couples, or fending off fires, or expressing cosmic harmony, but they were primarily meant to be enjoyed.
sex  japan 
october 2013 by aries1988
东亚人头发粗胸部小与古代基因变异有关 - 纽约时报中文网 国际纵览
人们有时假设东亚人曾在一个寒冷的环境里进化,因为他们的窄鼻孔可以保存热量、多余的眼皮脂肪可以防止眼部热量流失。但是博德团队估计,相关EDAR基因的变体大概在3.5万年前出现在中国的中部地区,而那时这一地区相对温暖、潮湿。更多的汗腺对当时生活在那里依靠狩猎和采集为生的人是有好处的。

但是,西雅图华盛顿大学(University of Washington)的遗传学家乔舒亚·阿基(Joshua Akey)说,他认为这种基因在东亚的传播更可能是由于性选择。粗毛发和小胸是肉眼可见的性信号,如果男性偏好这种特质,随着携带此特征的女性孕育更多孩子,这种特质就可以迅速变得更普遍。阿基博士说,决定显性特征的基因,如欧洲人中的蓝眼、金发,有着很强的选择信号。与汗腺相比,EDAR基因可见的吸引异性的影响很可能在自然选择上发挥了更大作用。

大概有93%的中国汉族人携带这种变异,大概有70%的日本人和泰国人、60%到90%的美洲印第安人携带这种变异。而美洲印第安人是东亚人的后裔。

每一个种族都有一系列不同的所选区域,这反映了一个事实:人类离开非洲以后散布各地,面临了不同的挑战,因而导致每一个大陆上基因适应环境的情况并不一样。大概其中140个受自然选择影响的位置在欧洲人身上,140个在东亚人身上,132个在非洲人身上,作者们在另外一篇于周四发表在《细胞》杂志上的文章里写道。
biology  human  evolution  asia  sex 
february 2013 by aries1988
AV与愤怒——日本一种特殊形式影像在大陆的传播、兴盛与辉煌
1994年4月20日,中国通过美国Sprint公司连入Internet的64K国际专线开通,实现了与Internet的全功能连接。从此中国被国际上正式承认为真正拥有全功能Internet的国家。 看“毛片”“黄色录像”在过去是心照不宣的秘密,是私人空间的享受,是同道中人识别的暗语;但在悼念“兰兰”的活动中,这一行为突然公开化,标志化。观赏毛片之于二十一世纪的青年,仿佛摇滚乐在1968年的意义,是他们愤怒的嘶吼,是他们对体制的轻蔑,是他们对未来的迷惘,是他们无处寄放的青春标志,以及青春本身。
http://chuansong.me/n/97153
history  sex  japan  youth  internet 
january 2013 by aries1988

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