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What a Universal Basic Income Policy Looks Like for Greg
Like all the other recipients I talk to, Greg wants the program to succeed. And SEED’s success will depend to some degree on whether the general public thinks Greg and the other recipients did “good things” with their money. But part of the point of making basic income universal is for the government to get out of the business of sorting the population into the deserving and the undeserving, categories that have been wrought and cast by racism.
money  poverty  economics  politics  stockton  UBI 
2 days ago
Youth Mental Health: How We Can Improve Youth Mental Health Outcomes - Thrive Global
early intervention and access to resources can alter outcomes - test case: psychosis in young adults
mentalhealth  psychology 
2 days ago
In France, Elder Care Comes with the Mail | The New Yorker
The post office provides a subscription service for the elderly to have carriers visit and check-on them
poverty  aging  oldage  health  loneliness  socialism 
2 days ago
Writer Naomi Klein on Coping With Climate Change Anxiety
t’s less about personal ambition and more about collective ambition. I think we live in a society that fetishizes and encourages personal ambition in all kinds of ways, including by creating all these levels of precarity and insecurity. The stakes of winning are so high, and everybody is so scared. While we encourage our personal ambition, we diminish and discourage collective ambition. I think that focus on personal ambition is really understandable, because we live in such an unequal society — but it will kill us.
ambition  career  capitalism  psychology 
2 days ago
Why frequent flyers should be sent into exile | Lucy Mangan | Opinion | The Guardian
I don’t know why this so often gets overlooked – why we so often go after the many instead of the few. Is it really easier to try to change millions of individuals’ recycling habits than legislate against industrial pollution? Is it really better to encourage people to “shop local” instead of taxing Amazon properly? And so very much on.
wealth  politics  money  climatechange  environment 
6 days ago
Oprah Winfrey on Why She Chose Not to Marry or Have Kids | PEOPLE.com
“I realized, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is,'” she says. “I don’t have the ability to compartmentalize the way I see other women do. It is why, throughout my years, I have had the highest regard for women who choose to be at home [with] their kids, because I don’t know how you do that all day long. Nobody gives women the credit they deserve.”
parenting  kids  feminism  psychology 
6 days ago
The Cruelty Is the Point - The Atlantic
not sure I agree with the conclusion but it's a good litany/summary
politics  trump  psychology 
6 days ago
Yashar Ali 🐘 on Twitter: "That's it...I'm having kids. https://t.co/1ueRWpkmPO" / Twitter
Toddler doing affirmations with his banana on the way to school: "I am smart, I am blessed, i can do ANYTHING"
kids  video  parenting  affirmations  psychology  inspiration 
6 days ago
Feminists never bought the idea of a mind set free from its body | Aeon Essays
n individual super-human, armed with a wealth of cognitive and physical enhancements, elevated to a state of unassailable strength and power, devoid of all dependency
As they describe it, ‘immortality’ sounds like nothing so much as manspreading into the future.

What’s most instructive about transhumanism, though, isn’t what it exposes about the hubris of rich white men. It’s the fact that it represents a paradigm case of what happens when a particular cast of mind, made from the sediment of centuries of philosophy, gets taken to its logical extreme. Since Plato, generations of philosophers have been gripped by a fear of the body and the desire to transcend it – a wish that works hand-in-hand with a fear of women, and a desire to control them.

Here Plato deploys a well-worn technique for suppressing corporeal angst: carving off the mind (rational, detached, inviolable, symbolically male) from the body (emotional, entangled, weak, symbolically female).

Plato’s legacy persisted into the Medieval world, as the split between form and matter assumed the moral complexion of Christianity. Humans were believed to be in possession of an immortal soul, which reason and restraint should shield from the corrupting influence of earthly pleasures.

No wonder feminist thinkers have been so skeptical about attempts to raise ‘rationality’ above all else. The concept of reason itself is built on a profoundly gendered blueprint.

This basic framing of the mind-body relationship remains dominant in both philosophical and scientific frameworks for the study of the mind. Today, the domain of ‘matter’ maps onto the brain, fed by signals and inputs from a body that perceives and reacts to the world; the ‘mind’, meanwhile, has become a collection of intangible phenomena such as psychology or consciousness.

The brain is cast as a rule-based mechanism for manipulating abstract symbols and internal representations that somehow arrive at our awareness from the world outside via our perceptions. These perceptions are transformed into inner states such as beliefs, intentions or desires, and then translated algorithmically into actions. The brain needs a body, to be sure, but only the way a parasite needs a host, or software needs some kind of hardware on which to run.

Surely doing the right thing depends on many things beyond our control, Elisabeth argues – freedom from too many burdens, the correct upbringing, good health.

It’s not that Elisabeth simply rejected Descartes’s views without critical reflection, or fell back to simply asserting her subjective opinion. It’s that her particular life experience inclined her to develop different intuitions to him, and gave her good reasons to doubt the plausibility of dualism.

One might think that her concerns – as for many women, in fact, and other oppressed peoples throughout history – were not really about how to bridge a gaping chasm between some enclosed inner world and a remote outer one. Rather, Elisabeth’s worry might well have been about how to preserve an inner sense of self against the relentless pressing-in of the world’s demands; about how to assert an entitlement to be a full person with distinct projects; and about how to carve out space to flourish in a society that relies on exploiting you.

Nussbaum says that the human condition is framed by an awareness of vulnerability on the one hand, and the desire to change and control our reality on the other. This inescapable bind creates a universal impulse towards narcissism and disgust, she says. We feel disgust at our own mortal and fleshly nature, and at any reminders of our finitude and fragility as creatures. So we subordinate others in order to project onto them all the qualities that we wish to deny in ourselves – that they are base, animal, Other – while we imagine ourselves as transcending to the realm of the mighty, truly Human.

Armed with these arguments, feminists appear to face a stark choice. They can argue that women should be allowed to ascend from their denigrated state to the domain of the fully free and rational human, the move of a classic liberal feminist such as Mary Wollstonecraft. Just as men are not defined by their bodies, nor should we be. Alternatively, a feminist might reject this standard of humanity as hopelessly tainted and patriarchal, and suggest instead that we embrace the particularity of ‘female’ qualities. This latter strategy is evident, for example, in the American psychologist Carol Gilligan’s landmark study of women’s moral reasoning, In a Different Voice (1982), in which she argued that girls tend to think about ethical problems in terms of relations of care and emotion, while boys typically look at them through the lens of justice, reason and individualism.

In the 1980s, this presumption helped to push feminism’s focus towards gender, the set of social roles and practices that women are encouraged to perform, as distinct from their biological sex. The partition of women’s condition into sex and gender gave activists a way to demonstrate the effects of social norms and to wrest authority away from ‘the natural’. This strategy was undeniably transformative, but it also came at a cost. For one, the body began to occupy some sort of liminal state, at once profoundly important and oddly obscured.

According to the computational model of the mind, your brain takes in perceptual inputs from the body about the weight of the box, which then produces the feeling of how heavy it is when you lift it. Provided you and your friend are equally strong, then your sense of the weight of box should be similar. But that’s not what happens, [mood, company, sugar, etc. all effect the sense of heaviness or the gradation of slope subjects face]

Computational thinking remains dominant within cognitive science and philosophy of mind. But new frontiers are opening up that view the body as something more than just a brain-carrying robot.

These thinkers were committed to the importance of the body, not as a mere thing in the world, but the ground and origin of each organism’s own reality, the very means of thought. ‘Because the body is the instrument of our hold on the world, the world appears different to us depending on how it is grasped,’ de Beauvoir writes. ‘[T]he body is not a thing, it is a situation: it is our grasp on the world and the outline for our projects.’

at the age of 46, his sight was restored by a corneal transplant. But that did not mean he could see, in any standard sense of the word. Instead of cars, cats, people and trees, May saw only moving lines and blotches of colour In their view, humans do not use our senses to develop an abstract representation of objects in the world, and only then graft on our feelings about such things. Instead, we see ‘with feeling’:

Against Descartes, the body indeed thinks; it’s the very tool by which meanings are offered up to consciousness.

Lifting a stone in one’s hand might help one tell the difference between a piece of charcoal (for lighting a fire) and a piece of granite (for fashioning a tool). Such features of the world, to paraphrase the English anthropologist Gregory Bateson, are ‘differences that make a difference’. They are differences that have come to matter, to have significance for that creature in the context of its life and objectives. They are not mediated by any abstract symbols within a removed cogito, but exist only in the sense that they arise from the way that we couple or grip onto what’s around us. Affordances, in other words, are inextricable from the meaning and purpose of our actions.

to return to some of those earlier experiments, a hill might afford walking more readily – and so be perceived as gentler and more manageable – when you already feel yourself to be powerful, when you have the support of a companion, or you’ve just loaded up on calories. Moreover, what the world affords you depends on your history: on what the world has already afforded you, or on what affordances you have acquired from your experience. That is, perceptions and actions exist in a feedback loop.

One of the most recent, and increasingly influential, strands of the embodied picture concerns the role of expectations in shaping our experience. Rather than building up a picture of the world from the ‘bottom up’ using sensory data, a growing body of work in cognitive science indicates that we often construct the world by creating models that allow us to predict it from the ‘top down’.

What registers in our awareness is the gap between our anticipated and actual sensory states, and our goal as organisms is to keep that gap or ‘surprise’ as small as possible.

These models are born of feedback loops as well as sifting out information that does not conform to our predictions. For that reason, we also tend to act in a way that ensures our sense-data matches what we expect.

as a woman, I might not expect a dark and deserted street to afford me walking down it at night, while my male partner might feel entirely at ease in that space. The fact that I feel myself to be vulnerable, in a very visceral way, means that I will avoid putting myself in that position, and so my predictions will be tacitly reinforced. The embodied world, as each of us encounters it, is a product of such self-reinforcing causal loops.

To recognise that our bodies are steeped in and fashioned by culture also means facing up to the unpleasant fact that we are vulnerable to manipulation and control.
cognition  feminism  philosophy  psychology  brain  biology  sexism 
19 days ago
The real sexism problem in the discipline of economics | Aeon Essays
Everyone, it seems, has a view on what women should or shouldn’t be doing with their own bodies.  

Some ‘feminists’, for example, like to argue that one cannot be feminist while showing off too much of your body; others argue that you cannot be feminist while covering too much of your body. Both see clothing restrictions as empowering to women. Women’s ability to choose seems not to feature; the claim that we are all ‘socially conditioned’ apparently makes it irrelevant.

A world in which women lack control over their own bodies is a world in which women are condemned to a life of reproductive and caring labour, with an expanding number of dependants – and a simultaneous diminution of their capacity to earn and feed them. No woman can be in control of her life, her labour and her finances without also being in control of her fertility.

Despite the clear relationship between women’s bodies and economic prosperity and inequality, modern-day economists rarely consider it....economists typically presume that we are all free to make our own choices. Potential restrictions on those freedoms (from access to birth control to the criminalisation of sex work and even types of clothing) are ignored. .... The whole idea of ‘the invisible hand’ was that the economy could arrive at the best outcome only if people are free to make their own choices.

[interesting section on how Europe surpassed Asia in history largely due to women in the workforce, delayed childbirth, etc.]

In 1920, global population growth was no more than 0.6 per cent a year, no higher than it had been in 1760. By 1962, it had reached 2.1 per cent.
feminism  economics  politics  birthcontrol  abortion 
20 days ago
‘It Will Always Be a Part of My Life’: Chanel Miller Is Ready to Talk - The New York Times
“I remember thinking, after reading the news about him, that I wished I had more extracurriculars,” Ms. Miller said. “The fact that I had no headline, it was just so clear to me that I was nobody.”

“Shame grows when it’s in a contained space,” she said. “As soon as you let a little bit of air in, the shame loses its power.”

There is still trauma, she said, but what’s changing is “the time it takes for me to come back from it, and my ability to get on my own two feet each time it ambushes me again.” She frequently clenches her fist, a vestigial habit from the trial.

“Before, I wanted the assault to not be a part of my life, and that was the goal,” she added. “Now it’s accepting that it will always be a part of my life, and I just figure out where it lives inside my life.”

Hearing the father of one of the victims speak at a vigil, Ms. Miller realized his ability to “so quickly convert his grief into action and articulation” was motivated by a desire to protect others from experiencing a similar pain.

“There’s never going to be a day where he’s like, ‘I’m moving on,’” she said. “I feel the same.”
rape  assault  metoo  stanford  ptsd  trauma 
20 days ago
On Immanuel Kant's hydraulic model of moral education | Aeon Essays
Kant being an asshole, basically, and buying into Catholic assumptions about (negative) motivations. Alternative: what we know of human psychology that a calm mind, absence of impediments like poverty and lack of sleep as the motivators for good action.

"Has the behaviour of another person ever made you feel ashamed? Not because they set out to shame you but because they acted so virtuously that it made you feel inadequate by comparison. If so, then it is likely that, at least for a brief moment in time, you felt motivated to improve as a person. ....Such change is the result of a mechanism I shall call ‘moral hydraulics’

aims to describe the interdependent relationship between disparate motivational drives. In short, hydraulics operate as follows: the elevation of one desire in a closed system causes a proportional diminution in another.. 

By exhibiting moral goodness, exemplars thus effect the aforementioned seesawing ‘hydraulic’ motivational changes in their onlookers. In so doing, they also impart confidence in the power and practicability of morality.

morality proves efficacious merely though our being exposed to it in the guise of a person with whom we involuntarily compare ourselves.

Involuntary comparison is a common, and often painful, experience. But while Kant claims that exemplars put our own weaknesses in clear relief, their effect is not wholly negative. For that reason, we should not seek to avoid encountering the spoils of inspirational peers. This is because our better, rational natures are raised up or ‘elevated’ (erhaben) through such unwilled comparisons.
philosophy  morality  psychology 
20 days ago
Our illusory sense of agency has a deeply important social purpose | Aeon Ideas
Free will has two fundamental features, they said. The first is the feeling of being in control: ‘I am the cause of this event.’ The second is a grasp of the counterfactual: ‘I could have chosen otherwise.’ Pangs of regret – something we’ve all experienced – make no sense unless we believe that we could have done something differently. Furthermore, Epicurus believed that we acquire this sense of responsibility via the praise and blame we received from others. By listening to our peers and elders, we become attuned to our capacity to effect change in the world.

Certain Pacific Islander cultures, for example, believe in the ‘opacity’ of other minds – the idea that it is impossible, or at least very difficult, to know what other people think and feel. As a result, people are frequently held responsible for their wrongdoings, even when they were the result of an accident or error. Intentionality is impossible to grasp, and therefore largely irrelevant. Similarly, among the Mopan Maya of Belize and Guatemala, children and adults alike are punished according to the outcome of their actions.

A consensus need not be accurate to be attractive or useful, of course. For a long time everyone agreed that the Sun went round the Earth. Perhaps our sense of agency is a similar trick: it might not be ‘true’, but it maintains social cohesion by creating a shared basis for morality.
psychology  philosophy  responsibility  culpability  justice 
20 days ago
How the Modern World Makes Us Mentally Ill - The Book of LifeThe Book of Life
from their book on this, basically:

1. Meritocracy "A society that thinks of itself as meritocratic turns poverty from a problem to evidence of damnation and those who have failed from unfortunates to losers."

2. The media's barrage of bad news

3. Perfectibility: Modern societies stress that it is within our remit to be profoundly content, sane and accomplished. As a result, we end up loathing ourselves, feeling weak and sensing we’ve wasted our lives. A cure would be a culture that endlessly promotes the idea that perfection is not within our grasp – that being mentally slightly (and at points very) unwell is an inescapable part of the human condition and that what we need above all are good friends with whom we can sit and honestly discuss our real fears and vulnerabilities.
philosophy  psychology  tsol  debotton  bookoflife 
20 days ago
Cheerfulness cannot be compulsory, whatever the T-shirts say | Aeon Essays
To the Stoic list of virtues, the Christians added faith, hope and love. These are a gift from God, unlike patience and justice, which can be achieved on our own. Faith is the belief that with God all things are possible; hope is risking that belief in real time; and love is willing to be wrong about it. These three add an undeniably emotional element to the mix of virtues, but even Jesus didn’t ask for cheer. The closest he got was telling the disciples not to look depressed when they fasted.

The lifting of mandatory cheerfulness reflects contemporary British culture, just as the policing of cheerfulness in the US reflects ours.

It’s no surprise that cheerfulness was embraced not only by Boy Scouts but by the greater American culture too: the US is a melting pot of Christianity, Stoicism, cognitive behavioural therapy, capitalism and Buddhism, all of which hold, to varying degrees, that we are responsible for our attitudes and, ultimately, for our happiness.

The aorta of the US economy pumps out optimism, positivity and cheerfulness while various veins carry back US dollars naively invested in schemes designed to get rich quick, emotionally speaking.

Socrates was right in the Symposium when he said that we are attracted to what we are not, and the psychologists behind production and marketing know better than we do the ubiquity of US anxiety, depression and restlessness.

Look at Denmark: the Danish are not particularly cheerful but, if the statistics are to be believed, they are happier than most. I’ve been to Denmark, and it’s not defiled with messages to ‘Keep calm and focus on cheerfulness.’

Cheerfulness spontaneously felt and freely given is brilliant, but it is no more virtuous than acting courageously when one isn’t scared

‘Minnesota nice’ captures the twisted Midwestern dedication to white-knuckling a positive attitude.

There is a fundamental difference between practising the Greek virtues of patience, justice or courage, and practising the American virtue of cheerfulness, which borders on psychosis. Patience asks us to change our behaviour, but it neither asks us to feel differently nor to pretend to feel differently.

Granted, Aristotle believed that practising patience over a length of time would naturally make us more patient, but pretence was never part of the deal. You can act patient while feeling impatient, and it’s no lie. But when you fake cheerfulness, you are telling someone else that you feel fine when you don’t.

forcing yourself to smile when you don’t feel like it amounts to lying to the people around you. ‘Fake it till you make it’ has brutal consequences when applied to the emotions.

We might want to lock out certain people from our fragile hearts, but cheerfulness is an equal-opportunity vice; it keeps even my loved ones out of reach. Whoever gets our cheery selves does not get our true selves.

Cheerfulness also unwittingly cancels out the Christian virtue of faith. It says: you can’t handle the expression of my feelings, and I deny you the chance to prove me right.

Since it is built on the certainty that others will disappoint, cheerfulness lacks faith. It denies possibility. In real life, others probably will disappoint us. If we show them what we are really feeling, they will probably screw it up.

Here’s an anti-cheerful but virtuous attitude: expect others to fail but give them the chance. Also, recognise when someone is giving you a chance to fail them. Vulnerability is a risk and a gift.

Our newly vulnerable selves would get to see the corresponding vulnerabilities of our close and distant neighbours. This exchange of fragility could possibly be the key to empathy. If we agreed to stop wasting emotional energy masking our disappointments with cheer, then we’d be free to cue into other people’s sadness.

But deep connections come at a cost. Cheerfulness isn’t just an American phenomenon, but it is uniquely built into the nation’s identity as invincible, and it’s not clear that we are ready to part with it yet. To become flesh-and-bone, Americans would first have to give up the idea that happiness is a matter of attitude. This challenges not only the history of the Boy Scouts but, more broadly, the reigning image of the self-made American, the single individual who keeps his chin up and never lets them see him sweat.

Giving up a commitment to cheerfulness would mean risking judgment for being ordinary, human, mortal.
psychology  happiness  philosophy  optimism 
20 days ago
Does Free Will Exist? Neuroscience Can't Disprove It Yet. - The Atlantic
An experiment in the 60's claimed to have recorded the brain's decision to make a physical movement slightly before the person actually moved, ergo the brain acts on its own (not free will). A modern scientist discovered the brain uptick was probably a natural brain cycle, firings that come in waves like the ocean, that, absent any analytical context, would push a person to move at the peak vs. the valley. But decisions aren't usually absent context. So back to the start we go.
neuroscience  science  brain  freewill  philosophy 
21 days ago
New York City Public Schools Have Embraced the New Left - The Atlantic
"The mood of meritocracy is anxiety—the low-grade panic when you show up a few minutes late and all the seats are taken. New York City, with its dense population, stratified social ladder, and general pushiness, holds a fun-house mirror up to meritocracy. "

A first-hand account of the costs of identity politics in teaching - the loss of general educational principles in an "integration above all else" policy-making environment.
education  parenting  kids  school  nyc  sf 
22 days ago
Review: Chanel Miller’s Incredible Memoir ‘Know My Name’
Emily lived in a tiny world, narrow and confined. She didn’t have any friends, appeared only occasionally to go to the courthouse, police station, or make calls in the stairwell. I did not like her fragility, how quietly she spoke and how she seemed to know nothing. I knew she was hungry for nourishment, to be acknowledged and cared for, but I refused to recognize her needs.” Any woman who has been assaulted — indeed, any person who has suffered a trauma — recognizes this sort of coping mechanism, how we keep our inner selves tucked away in order to present a strong face to the world. We see how Miller does this too initially, letting her loved ones access only a small portion of her suffering.

“During sex, my body began asking my mind, What’s happening? Where are you? Who are you with?,” she says. “My body kept asking permission, is this okay, will we be blamed? It was inhibiting, did not allow for stallion-riding, flower-blooming, rooster-crowing, paper-shuffling, passionate lovemaking. Instead I had a small finicky secretary I was reporting to.”

we talk often about the tangible costs of trauma — financial costs, for example, or a PTSD diagnosis — but it’s rare that we talk about the way it robs women of their own bodies, the way it takes away the freedom to be sexual,
assault  rape  trauma  ptsd  psychology  metoo  autobiography  writing 
23 days ago
Republic vs. Democracy: What Is the Difference?
cogent explanation of the US government and why power was distributed as it was
government  politics  education  congress  electoralcollege 
26 days ago
The war on #MeToo will fail. Women cannot be un-radicalized | Moira Donegan | Opinion | The Guardian
In other words, the backlash could be thought of as a return to familiar social and intellectual habits, habits that subvert justice but which are comforting to the powerful. Among these habits are that of depicting women as incompetent and untrustworthy, of thinking of men as honorable and incapable of meaning any harm, of thinking of feminists as unreasonable, and their calls for men to think more about the emotions, rights and desires of women as unreasonable, even totalitarian. These are familiar habits to a lot of people, including people who think of themselves as good and socially conscientious, people who read the New York Times, or vote Democratic, or have a stack of New Yorkers in their living rooms.

This emerging backlash will present a challenge to the feminist movement that has emerged in the #MeToo era, but it is not a new challenge, or a surprising one: anti-feminist reaction follows every feminist movement with the certainty and regularity of the tides. “The anti-feminist backlash has been set off not by women’s achievement of full equality but by the increased possibility that they might win it,” Faludi said. “It is a pre-emptive strike that stops women long before they reach the finish line.” But the #MeToo movement has radicalized a generation of women, making them keenly aware that they do not have to silently suffer from sexual violence, or meekly accept the indignities of sexual harassment. Un-radicalizing these women, and making them accept an anti-feminist future, would be as impossible as to un-cook an omelette, or un-ring a bell.
feminism  sexism  rape  metoo  misogyny 
29 days ago
Kara Swisher on Ambition, Bragging, and Having a Baby at 56
Also, I’ve never worried about what people thought of me, and I think part of that had to do with being gay. My feeling at the time was, Well, if they don’t like me because I’m gay, what’s the difference? I think it frees you. If people don’t like you for some inane reason, then why worry what they think? And if you don’t worry about what people think of you, you can do almost anything.

My dad died when I was 5. I remember thinking, The worst thing ever happened to me and I’m still here.

When something bad happens at work, or someone gives me a hard time, I’m like, “I don’t need you to like me. I have dogs. I have kids. I need them to like me.” If I fail at being a parent, I feel terrible, but if I fail at some work thing, I’m like, Oh, well. Not everything’s a four-alarm fire. If something goes wrong, a lot of people are like, “What are we going to do!?” And I’m like, “Something else.”

How do you know when you’ve taken on too much? Do you get overwhelmed?
If I can’t do something well, I drop it.

Women are made to feel that they should be a good girl or be accommodating, and they suffer for that. It’s a societal thing. And men get to sit back and say no. The ability to say no is, I think, the greatest power of all time. And then saying yes at the right time, too.


How do you celebrate your successes? Do you ever take a moment just to bask in it?
I don’t spend a lot of time high-fiving, just like I don’t spend a lot of time agonizing when something goes wrong. I play the long game. I always say that to people when they’re panicking. People are so panicked. I did Outward Bound twice, when I was 19 and 25, and the people who did well on Outward Bound were the ones who weren’t panicking. There’s sometimes reason to be worried, but most of the times people just panic instead. I’m a super calm person, both when things are going well and when things are going badly. Of all the skills I have, my ability to move on is one of the keys to my success. I’m like, “Next!” So I never feel defeated, in the same way that I never feel victorious.

I have two wonderful boys, and I spend a lot of time with them. I’m always like, “Don’t do your homework; it doesn’t matter. Do this other thing instead.” Their teachers hate me for it, but I’m like, “What? Is it not true?” We try to help our kids with what they want to do, but you’re certainly not going to see me bribing any colleges.
inspiration  career  tech 
29 days ago
I'm a (fla)Mingo on Twitter: "Huh. Really explains a lot. https://t.co/eBjl22TQ9A" / Twitter
"Their lives are so small." which is why their tax bill is all that matters at the ballot box regardless of abuse of children, racism, etc
republicans  psychology  politics 
29 days ago
Why do we cling to the myth of the evil genius? Because the alternative is worse | Nesrine Malik | Opinion | The Guardian
Why do we lend the stories of these svengalis a coherence that in reality they lack? Perhaps because the idea that there is no meritocracy, no real rhyme or reason to who ends up having influence over our lives is rather unsettling.
success  politics  capitalism  myths  media 
29 days ago
SF Restaurant Leaders Meet with Board of Supervisors to Discuss Industry Crisis - Eater SF
Castro District Supervisor Rafael Mandelman responded to Alter’s concerns in his concluding remarks. ”It is, I know, particularly galling to be nickel and dimed and delayed and fined by a government that seems unable to deliver the very basic public services residents and small businesses might expect as the precondition of their ability to operate successfully,” Mandelman said. “I share that frustration.”
restaurants  sanfranciso  politics 
29 days ago
James Acaster WOULD I LIE TO YOU COMPILATION - YouTube
22:06: "Squirt is a game." "Is it"

cabbage kid
Squirt on boxing day
I spent the night in a bush in basingstoke
video  humor  comedy  stand-up  british  TV 
4 weeks ago
How I Learned to Stop Asking Female Candidates About Sexism - Rebecca Traister
Here is the reality: Of course everyone who is not white or male and aims to represent and govern within a world built by, for, and expecting only white men has their path shaped in one way or another by their difference. That doesn’t mean they always suffer for it. Some play into it and serve a white patriarchal model; some defy it, and in their defiance, attract admirers.

But Elizabeth Warren cannot say to Alex Thompson that the suggestion that she work as a “cheerleader” for the agency that she invented and built while someone else runs it is sexist, even though of course it is sexist. It’s so sexist that in the dictionary under the word “sexist” there should be a picture of someone saying aloud that the woman who made a federal bureau should work not as its boss but as its “cheerleader.”

But for Warren to just say this basic, banal, true thing would be an enormous risk. Because as soon as she said it, she would be cast by everyone made uncomfortable by the acknowledgment of sexism and racism (i.e., a hell of a lot of people) as a whining victim.

This is the bleakest, realest reality.
sexism  feminism  politics  women  journalism  misogyny 
4 weeks ago
Liz Plank on Twitter: "When you see women defending Brett Kavanaugh this morning it’s a good reminder that this isn’t a gender war, it’s a war between those who believe we should raise men and boys better, and those who don’t." / Twitter
When you see women defending Brett Kavanaugh this morning it’s a good reminder that this isn’t a gender war, it’s a war between those who believe we should raise men and boys better, and those who don’t.
sexism  parenting  misogyny 
4 weeks ago
Artist Agnes Martin on Inspiration, Interruptions, Cultivating a Creative Atmosphere, and the Only Type of Person You Should Allow Into Your Studio | Brain Pickings
An inspiration is a happy moment that takes us by surprise.

Many people are so startled by an inspiration or a condition of inspiration, which is so different from daily care, that they think that they are unique in having had it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Inspiration is there all the time for anyone whose mind is not covered over with thoughts and concerns, and [it is] used by everyone whether they realize it or not.

[…]

It is an untroubled state of mind. Of course, we know that an untroubled state of mind cannot last, so we say that inspiration comes and goes, but it is there all the time waiting for us to be untroubled again. We can therefore say that it is pervasive.

Kierkegaard ... “Of all ridiculous things the most ridiculous seems to me, to be busy — to be a man who is brisk about his food and his work.”

"There are some people to be allowed into the studio, however, who will not destroy the atmosphere but will bring encouragement and who are an absolute necessity in the field of art. They are not personal friends. Personal friends are a different thing entirely and should be met in cafés. They are Friends of Art.

Friends of art are people with very highly developed sensibilities "

You must clean and arrange your studio in a way that will forward a quiet state of mind. This cautious care of atmosphere is really needed to show respect for the work.
art  work  inspiration  career 
4 weeks ago
Car Talk's Long Goodbye
Ray talks about losing his brother Tom + their origins.
cartalk  radio  family 
5 weeks ago
A Shocking Number of Americans Want to 'Just Let Them All Burn' - VICE
The researchers, from Denmark's Aarhus University and Temple University, were interested in why people spread "hostile political rumors" online. One explanation is that in an increasingly polarized age, partisans are more likely to share nasty bits of gossip—true or not—about their political opponents. But the paper's authors favor a much more disturbing conclusion: The impulse to share hateful rumors "are associated with 'chaotic' motivations to 'burn down' the entire established democratic 'cosmos'
psychology  politics  altright  sexism 
5 weeks ago
How to Complain - The Atlantic
Venting is about seeking validation and sympathy, whereas complaining comes with a concrete end goal—in many cases, getting someone else to do something differently.

“the complaint sandwich”—a series of three statements calibrated to make people more receptive to changing their ways. The first “slice of bread” in the sandwich is a positive statement that will hopefully make the listener less defensive when the complaint itself arrives.

“The meat of the sandwich is the complaint itself,” Winch said. “And here’s the trick: The meat has to be lean. In other words, all you need is the one incident to make your point.” Don’t present a compendium of every offense; just stick to the specifics of the present situation.

Just as it’s important not to include a list of frustrating incidents at this stage, it’s also important not to include a generalization about someone’s basic nature. The complaint You didn’t clean up after yourself veers unproductively into criticism when the clause because you’re so lazy is tacked onto the end of it.

The final component of the sandwich is another positive statement, this time one that might motivate the other party to do things differently. This inducement could be something like, “If you could make an effort to put your dirty dishes into the dishwasher, it would make me so happy.”

in all cases, Winch says, it’s important not to yell or be sarcastic. “However angry or frustrated you are, if your tone is too sharp, you’re distracting from the message,” he noted. Then, down the line: “The minute you see any hint of an effort, you reinforce it like crazy”

Applying the aforementioned tactics to corporate grievances requires a few twists.

First, specificity is especially important when dealing with companies. Winch says that many customer-service representatives use systems that have them choose from preset categories of complaints

Second, expressing empathy for a customer-service representative can help a lot. “They are usually a low-salary employee and their job is horrific. ..he often opens with..., “I’m going to apologize ahead of time for sounding annoyed. I’m annoyed with this situation, not with you personally—so please forgive me if I sound frustrated.”

if the supervisor isn’t helpful either, Winch said, “I wouldn’t go slowly up the chain.” A strategy that he’s used “innumerable times” with great success is going straight to an executive—many email addresses are Google-able—with his complaint sandwich.
psychology  complaining  venting  anger  tactics  relationships 
6 weeks ago
John Steinbeck on Falling in Love: A 1958 Letter of Advice to His Lovesick Teenage Son | Brain Pickings
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa
love  affection  relationships  psychology  literature  writing 
6 weeks ago
‘They just wanted us to read about a white boy and his dog’: why teenager Marley Dias fought back | Books | The Guardian
Young black girl is sick of reading Where the Red Fern Grows year after year and starts a drive to send 10K books with black girl heros to Jamaica
politics  racism  reading  sexism  education  literature  books  girls  school  parenting  inspiration 
6 weeks ago
Why I’m Teaching My Daughters to Be Rude
teach Astrid this as well: you don't have to apologize placate or perform
feminism  school  parenting  education  girls  sexism  misogyny 
6 weeks ago
McMindfulness by Ronald Purser; Mindfulness by Christina Feldman and Willem Kuyken – review | Books | The Guardian
Not particularly insightful review - but to catalog this book, which lines up with de Botton's criticisms (consider the actual problem) and the Aeon article also bookmarked about the failings of western mindfulness (taking problems out of social context, for one) (not buddhist, which advocates taking up social harms) (not considering the problem itself)
meditation  buddhism  psychology 
6 weeks ago
What is autism? How the term became too broad to have meaning any more | Tom Clements | Opinion | The Guardian
Overuse of the spectrum in diagnosis + no distinction being made between the slightly different vs. the completely disabled - and the resulting mess of not defining it as a handicap but "differently abled" when those on the far end will need care for life.
mentalhealth  psychology 
6 weeks ago
A.V. Flox on Twitter: "@xintra @kwetoday For me, it started by identifying coping strategies I could use that were safe for me and others. Then I found a way to access the felt sense of safety, which is a somatic experience of mutual reliance and trust in
So how do you swing repatterning avoidance?

A.V. Flox
For me, it started by identifying coping strategies I could use that were safe for me and others. Then I found a way to access the felt sense of safety, which is a somatic experience of mutual reliance and trust in other humans.
psychology  trauma  ptsd 
6 weeks ago
Think Your Aging Parents Are Stubborn? Blame ‘Mismatched Goals’ - The New York Times
lesson: attach to who you are in ways that don't include if you drive or not. Art. Writing. Output outside the family. Relationships.
aging  relationships  psychology  parents 
6 weeks ago
The Benjamin Franklin Effect: The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters – Brain Pickings
troubling misread of CBT + the concepts are...debatable but marginally true re: confirmation bias

"In sum, we are excellent at deluding ourselves, and terrible in recognizing when our own perceptions, attitudes, impressions, and opinions about the external world are altered from within.

The self-delusion in question is that we do nice things to people we like and bad things to those we dislike. But what the psychology behind the effect reveals is quite the opposite, a reverse-engineering of attitudes that takes place as we grow to like people for whom we do nice things and dislike those to whom we are unkind.

In what universe does inducing an opponent to do you a favor magically turn him into a supporter?

this is what Gandhi touched on when he observed that our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our character, our character becomes our destiny, and it’s also the foundation of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which aims to change how we think by first changing what we do, until we internalize a set of beliefs about how those actions define who we are.

Your brain literally begins to shut down when you feel your ideology is threatened.

If you are on the other end of the self-esteem spectrum and tend to see yourself as undeserving and unworthy [and] will rewrite nebulous behavior as the result of attitudes consistent with the persona of an incompetent person, deviant, or whatever flavor of loser you believe yourself to be. Successes will make you uncomfortable, so you will dismiss them as flukes. If people are nice to you, you will assume they have ulterior motives or are mistaken. Whether you love or hate your persona, you protect the self with which you’ve become comfortable. When you observe your own behavior, or feel the gaze of an outsider, you manipulate the facts so they match your expectations.

Take into account [that] the higher the price you pay for your decisions the more you value them. See that ambivalence becomes certainty with time. Realize that lukewarm feelings become stronger once you commit to a group, club, or product. Be wary of the roles you play and the acts you put on, because you tend to fulfill the labels you accept. Above all, remember the more harm you cause, the more hate you feel. The more kindness you express, the more you come to love those you help.
brainpickings  psychology  perception  relationships  cbt 
6 weeks ago
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