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jerryking : elizabeth_bernstein   27

Fine-Tune Your B.S. Detector: You’ll Need It - WSJ
March 19, 2018 | WSJ | By Elizabeth Bernstein.

Check the source. Is this person an expert or in a position to know the information? Why is he or she telling me? What does the person have to gain?

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Remember that we all suffer from confirmation bias—we’re more likely to believe something that confirms what we already think or want.

Ask questions. Research shows people are more likely to B.S. when they feel they can get away with it. “Ask them simply: ‘Why do you think that? How do you know that is true?’” ......“This will get them thinking critically.”

Don’t trust your gut. People who pause and think about whether information is true are better able to detect false information, research shows. “Rely on your prior knowledge,”

Ask for evidence. This is different than an explanation, which people can continue to spin. Facts don’t lie—but check them to make sure they are real.

Pay attention to people who discount evidence. “I don’t care what the experts say” is a red flag that the person is using B.S.

Stay offline when you’re tired. Research shows we’re more vulnerable to false claims when our cognitive resources—that is, brain power—are depleted.
5_W’s  brainpower  bullshitake  confirmation_bias  critical_thinking  Elizabeth_Bernstein  evidence  gut_feelings  howto  infoliteracy  misinformation  pay_attention  power_of_the_pause  questions  skepticism  unshared_information 
march 2018 by jerryking
One Habit to Make You Happier Today - WSJ
By Elizabeth Bernstein
May 8, 2017
..... “QTL” (which stands for “Quality Time Left”) in difficult times, including when his wife was terminally ill last year, to remind himself not to waste time thinking about the negative and to focus on what makes him happy. Kathlene Carney, 55, a publicist in Point Richmond, Calif., begins repeating “good things always happen to me and good things always happen through me” as soon she feels a downward cycle of negative thinking coming on....How can you choose the best mantra for you? Not just any clichéd motto—“Just do it!”—will do.

Picture yourself older and wiser. Now think about what advice this evolved version of yourself would most want to give you right now to make your life better. Write it down. And distill it into single word, phrase or short sentence. “Make sure that it rings true for you, that it makes you feel good, empowered, reassured, and hopeful,”

Choose several. ‘Having one mantra can become monotonous or routine and it can lose its meaning,” But don’t have so many mantras that you have to struggle to recall them.

Keep it short. It needs to be easy to remember.

Make sure it is positive. But not unbelievable. “If it’s too positive, it can feel hokey—‘I’m good enough, smart enough and people like me,’” For example, telling yourself all is well when it clearly isn’t may not help. “Mantras that help build a healthy brain long-term are based in truth, logic and helpfulness,”

Trigger your mantra. Practice thinking about what’s bothering you and then saying your mantra. This will train your brain to call up the word or phrase as a habit when you are stressed.

Picture your new neural pathways.
affirmations  Elizabeth_Bernstein  habits  inspiration  mantras  mybestlife  negativity_bias  positive_thinking 
may 2017 by jerryking
The Sex Question Readers Want Answered Most - WSJ
Feb. 10, 2014

To rekindle the flame, skip the flowers and chocolate. Ditto the plan to get something going on your birthday or anniversary. "These are clichés,"..."We've been there and done that. The novelty has worn off."...Step One is to have a conversation with your spouse—and choose your words carefully...."The heart of all this sex stuff is emotional intimacy," she says. "If you actually want to make changes in your sex life, that's where you start."
Communicating_&_Connecting  Elizabeth_Bernstein  clichés  relationships  sex  sexuality  men  marriage  intimacy  questions 
february 2015 by jerryking
The Real Reason Couples Have Sex -
October 21, 2013, 6:51 p.m. ET

The Real Reason Couples Have Sex
Two New Studies Examine What Motivates Couples to Have Sex

Elizabeth_Bernstein  relationships  marriage  sex 
october 2013 by jerryking
How to Be a Better Conversationalist -
August 12, 2013, 10:16 p.m. ET

How to Be a Better Conversationalist
Good Small Talk Makes Us Likable, But It's Easy to Get Rusty—How to Avoid Dominating and Being Dominated in a Conversation

Communicating_&_Connecting  conversations  ice-breakers  Elizabeth_Bernstein  small_talk 
august 2013 by jerryking
Diva Behavior and Narcissism: Healthy or Unhealthy? -

Why Divas Need Make No Apology
Demanding People Get a Bad Rap, But Behind the Tantrums and the Drama Lie Lessons in Success
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may 2013 by jerryking
10 Ways to Show Your Spouse Love -
February 11, 2013 | WSJ | By ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Small Acts, Big Love
People Who Put Their Mates' Needs First Make Themselves Happier Too
relationships  Elizabeth_Bernstein 
february 2013 by jerryking
When Forgiveness Isn't a Virtue -
October 29, 2012, 5:01 p.m. ET

When Forgiveness Isn't a Virtue

Elizabeth_Bernstein  relationships  foregiveness 
october 2012 by jerryking
The Five Lessons Divorced People Learn About Marriage -
Divorcé's Guide to Marriage
Study Reveals Five Common Themes Underlie Most Divorces
divorce  relationships  marriage  Elizabeth_Bernstein  lessons_learned 
july 2012 by jerryking
How to Stop Whining: In Therapy, a Move to Tough Love -
For a Nation of Whiners, Therapists Try Tough Love
relationships  Elizabeth_Bernstein 
may 2012 by jerryking
Nagging in Marriage Is More Common Than Adultery But Can Also Lead to Divorce -
JANUARY 25, 2012 | WSJ | Elizabeth Bernstein.

Meet the Marriage Killer. It's More Common Than Adultery and Potentially As Toxic, So Why Is It So Hard to Stop Nagging?

relationships  marriage  Elizabeth_Bernstein  toxic_behaviors  divorce 
january 2012 by jerryking
When Old Flames Beckon on Facebook -

When Old Flames Beckon Online

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relationships  trustworthiness  Elizabeth_Bernstein  facebook 
october 2011 by jerryking
How to Fix a Broken Friendship -
JULY 26, 2011

Delicate Art of Fixing a Broken Friendship
Forgiving Is Good for You, Researchers Say, But Take It Slow; You May Be Ready to Start Over, But Your Friend May Not

friendships  relationships  howto  repairs  Elizabeth_Bernstein  forgiveness 
july 2011 by jerryking
How to Express Sympathy to a Friend Grieving the Death of a Loved One -
* JANUARY 25, 2011

When a Friend Grieves, How to Get Sympathy Right
etiquette  relationships  Elizabeth_Bernstein  sympathy 
january 2011 by jerryking
How to Cope With Adult Temper Tantrums -
DECEMBER 13, 2010 | WSJ By ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN.This Loved One Will Explode in Five, Four ...
Elizabeth_Bernstein  relationships  anger_management  howto 
december 2010 by jerryking
Keeping a Marriage Alive -
FEBRUARY 9, 2010 | Wall Street Journal | By ELIZABETH
BERNSTEIN. Happy Couples Kiss and Tell. Sharon and Ozzy, Rosalynn and
Jimmy, and Bill and Marlene on How to Make a Marriage Last.

relationships  marriage  ksfs  Elizabeth_Bernstein 
february 2010 by jerryking

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