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20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit
SEP 7, 2016 | Inc.com | By Matthew Jones.

1. You're going to die and you have no idea when.
Stop pretending that you're invincible. Acknowledge the fact of your own mortality, and then start structuring your life in a more meaningful way.

2. Everyone you love is going to die, and you don't know when.
This truth may be saddening at first, but it also gives you permission to make amends with past difficulties and re-establish meaningful relationships with important figures in your life.

3. Your material wealth won't make you a better or happier person.
Even if you're one of the lucky ones who achieves his or her materialistic dreams, money only amplifies that which was already present.

4. Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.
Happiness is always present in your life--it's just a matter of connecting to it and allowing it to flow through you that's challenging.

5. Donating money does less than donating time.
Giving your time is a way to change your perception and create a memory for yourself and others that will last forever.

6. You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself.
Stop trying to please, and start respecting your values, principles, and autonomy.

7. You can't be perfect, and holding yourself to unrealistic standards creates suffering.
Many perfectionists have unrelenting inner critics that are full of so much rage and self-hate that it tears them apart inside. Fight back against that negative voice, amplify your intuition, and start challenging your unrealistic standards.

8. Your thoughts are less important than your feelings and your feelings need acknowledgment.
Intellectually thinking through your problems isn't as helpful as expressing the feelings that create your difficulties in the first place.

9. Your actions speak louder than your words, so you need to hold yourself accountable.
Be responsible and take actions that increase positivity and love.

10. Your achievements and successes won't matter on your death bed.
When your time has come to transition from this reality, you won't be thinking about that raise; you'll be thinking about the relationships you've made--so start acting accordingly.

11. Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.
Some of the most talented people in the world never move out from their parent's basement.

12. Now is the only time that matters, so stop wasting it by ruminating on the past or planning the future.
You can't control the past, and you can't predict the future, and trying to do so only removes you from the one thing you can control--the present.

13. Nobody cares how difficult your life is, and you are the author of your life's story.
Stop looking for people to give you sympathy and start creating the life story you want to read.

14. Your words are more important than your thoughts, so start inspiring people.
Words have the power to oppress, hurt, and shame, but they also have the power to liberate and inspire--start using them more wisely.

15. Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's the most worthwhile thing you can do.
You have to put on your own gas mask to save the person sitting right next to you.

16. It's not what happens, it's how you react that matters.
Train yourself to respond in a way that leads to better outcomes.

17. You need to improve your relationships to have lasting happiness.
Relationships have a greater impact on your wellbeing and happiness than your income or your occupation, so make sure you give your relationship the attention and work it deserves.

18. Pleasure is temporary and fleeting, so stop chasing fireworks and start building a constellation. Don't settle for an ego boost right now when you can delay gratification and experience deeper fulfillment.

19. Your ambition means nothing without execution--it's time to put in the work.
If you want to change the world, then go out there and do it!

20. Time is your most valuable asset--you need to prioritize how you spend it.
accountability  affirmations  autonomy  consistency  delayed_gratification  efforts  emotional_mastery  execution  good_enough  gut_feelings  happiness  hard_truths  invest_in_yourself  living_in_the_moment  mindfulness  mortality  mybestlife  no_sob_stories  practice  principles  priorities  relationships  serving_others  truth-telling  values  volunteering 
november 2019 by jerryking
How to Be Super Productive
(1) Set Monthly Goals
(2) Make a List of Tasks Daily
(3) Stop Saying "YES" to Everyone
(4) Have Enough Sleep
(5) Plan A Weekly Calendar
(6) Stop Multi-tasking
(7) Write a "Stop Doing" List
(8...
affirmations  Boyce_Watkins  GTD  howto  monotasking  productivity  say_"no"  sleep  sustained_inquiry 
november 2019 by jerryking
At a Critical Time for U.S. Soccer, Abby Wambach Is on a Mission
April 15, 2019| WSJ | By Jocelyn Silver.

Wambach’s latest book, a feminist guidebook called Wolfpack: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game. The crisp, 112-page “rally cry” stems from a viral commencement speech that Wambach delivered at Barnard College in 2018, in which she recounted the story of how biologists reintroduced wolves into Yellowstone National Park, where they improved the park’s ecosystem. Wambach compares women to wolves, encouraging them to break out of fairytale narratives. “If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing it would be this,” she said in the address. “Abby, you were never Little Red Riding Hood. You were always the Wolf.”

At Plymouth Church, Wambach sports a shirt reading “Ain’t No Little Red.” Doyle opts for a “Wolfpack” hat and black patent leather Louboutins. She comes onstage with arms whirling, miming punches.

As a two-time Olympic gold medalist and the world’s all-time top goal scorer of any gender, Wambach retired in 2015, notching a World Cup title on her fourth try. Though she wrote a more traditional sports memoir shortly after, Wolfpack marks a shift into more clearly demarcated self-help. It traces an arc in her personal life.
Abby_Wambach  affirmations  athletes_&_athletics  books  commencement  domino_effects  empowerment  failure  inspiration  leadership  lessons_learned  mission-driven  quotes  rules_of_the_game  rule_breaking  soccer  speeches  sports  superstars  tokenism  women 
april 2019 by jerryking
Abby Wambach’s Leadership Lessons: Be the Wolf
April 9, 2019 | The New York Times | By Maya Salam.

“So many of us can relate to playing by rules that were never set up for us to win.”
— Abby Wambach, two-time Olympic gold medalist and World Cup champion.

Abby Wambach, who led the United States women’s team to a World Cup championship in 2015, is focused on a new kind of goal: motivating women to become leaders.....In her new book, “Wolfpack,” Wambach, 38, shares lessons she learned from decades of training, failure and triumph on the field. It is based on the commencement speech she gave at Barnard College in New York in 2018.

“If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: ‘Abby, you were never Little Red Riding Hood; you were always the wolf,’”.......In “Wolfpack,” Wambach offers eight new rules to help women succeed professionally and personally. And she hopes her ideas trigger a domino effect. “When one person stands up and demands the ball, the job, the promotion, the paycheck, the microphone, that one gives others permission to do the same,”

Here are the four of her “new rules,” and the norms she hopes they’ll upend:
(1) “Champion each other.”
Old Rule: Be against each other.
New Rule: Be FOR each other.
“Power and success and joy are not pies,” Wambach writes. “A bigger slice for one woman doesn’t mean a smaller slice for another.”
(2) “Be grateful and ambitious.”
Old Rule: Be grateful for what you have.
New Rule: Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve.
“I was so grateful for a paycheck, so grateful to represent my country, so grateful to be the token woman at the table, so grateful to receive any respect at all that I was afraid to use my voice to demand more,” Wambach writes. “Our gratitude is how power uses the tokenism of a few women to keep the rest of us in line.”
(3) “Make failure your fuel.”
Old Rule: Failure means you’re out of the game.
New Rule: Failure means you’re finally IN the game.
“Imperfect men have been empowered and permitted to run the world since the beginning of time,” Wambach writes. “It’s time for imperfect women to grant themselves permission to join them.”
(4) “Lead from the bench.”
Old Rule: Wait for permission to lead.
New Rule: Lead now — from wherever you are.
“The picture of leadership is not just a man at the head of a table,” Wambach writes. “It’s also every woman who is allowing her own voice to guide her life and the lives of those she cares about.”
Abby_Wambach  affirmations  athletes_&_athletics  books  commencement  domino_effects  empowerment  failure  inspiration  leadership  lessons_learned  quotes  rules_of_the_game  rule_breaking  soccer  speeches  sports  superstars  tokenism  women 
april 2019 by jerryking
Affirmations for Getting Organized
1. I am organized in all areas of my life.
2. I am organized and productive.
3. I enjoy getting my life in order.
4. I am working on getting my life organized every day.
5. I love finding new way...
affirmations  GTD  organizing_data  self-organization  systematic_approaches 
march 2019 by jerryking
Book review: Truthful Living: The First Writings of Napoleon Hill by Jeffrey Gitomer
NOVEMBER 30, 2018 | | Financial Times | by Isabel Berwick.

Truthful Living: The First Writings of Napoleon Hill, with foreword, actions and annotations by Jeffrey Gitomer, Amazon Publishing, RRP$19.95.

[See also The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, the grandfather of the prosperity gospel. ]

Napoleon Hill was one of the founders of the American self-improvement movement. Born poor in Virginia in 1883, by the time of the first world war he had developed a set of principles for success in advertising and sales......Hill — who died in 1970 — was a staggeringly effective cheerleader for himself and his philosophy and that is exactly what one would expect from a self-help guru.

The book that made him famous, Think and Grow Rich, distilled Hill’s thinking and analysed the strategies of hundreds of the US’s most famous and successful businessmen. Published in 1937, it has sold in the tens of millions, making it one of the best-selling books of the 20th century. It offered optimism and the idea of the American dream to those suffering in a post-crash economy. The appetite for Hill’s particular brand of self-belief remains strong......Hill's message endures: Hard work, imagination, honesty and service....Hill's insight is that getting oneself into the right frame of mind to become rich and successful — emphasizes having a positive attitude and self-confidence......Jeffrey Gitomer, a US sales trainer and motivational speaker, adds notes and annotations. Gitomer writes in the foreword (ambitiously titled “The First Thoughts of the Father of American Achievement and Wealth”) that he was first exposed to Hill’s writing in 1971, as a sales trainee: “I read Think and Grow Rich 10 times that year — studied and implemented both the principles and the directives. The result for me has been an unbreakable positive attitude and steadfast march toward success over the past 45 years.”

* Don't neglect to cultivate your ‘AMBITION’.
* “Take a plain sheet of paper, ordinary letter size, and write on it in large letters — the largest it will carry — I AM GOING TO BE A GREAT PERSON!”
* the magic key turns out to be “CONCENTRATION”.
* a timeless tip: “The great mass of people are demanding at least the necessities of life at a lower cost than they are now paying. If you can help solve this problem, even on one commodity, you can write your own salary price tag.”

While Christian Science and other outcrops of the New Thought movement have fallen from favour, Hill’s work endures, perhaps because he stresses the importance of happiness, self-confidence and other qualities now fashionable in the self-improvement sphere. Above all, the enduring popularity of Hill’s writing demonstrates that most in-vogue of all the modern mantras: resilience.
affirmations  book_reviews  books  perseverance  self-help  self-improvement  Jeffrey_Gitomer  resilience  the_American_dream  self-confidence  personal_enrichment  hard_work  honesty  imagination  positive_thinking 
december 2018 by jerryking
Ten Ways Ridiculously Successful People Think Differently
December 4, 2017 | LinkedIn | Dr. Travis Bradberry Influencer.

Obstacles do not block the path; they are the path. This perspective helps successful people to think differently to everyone else, which is important, because if you think like everyone else, no matter how smart or experienced you are, you’ll hit the same ceiling. By thinking outside the box and going against the grain, successful people rise above their limitations.

They’re confident.
They’re composed. They know that no matter how good or bad things get, everything changes with time. All they can do is to adapt and adjust to stay happy and in control.

They’re honest.

They seek out small victories.

They’re always learning.

They expose themselves to a variety of people. There’s no easier way to learn to think differently than spending time with someone whose strengths are your weaknesses or whose ideas are radically different from your own. This exposure sparks new ideas and makes you well rounded. This is why we see so many great companies with co-founders who stand in stark contrast to each other. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak from Apple were a prime example. Neither could have succeeded without the other.

They keep an open mind.

They’re fearless.

They turn tedious tasks into games.

They dream big but remain grounded.
affirmations  thinking_big  gamification  self-confidence  fearlessness  self-control  honesty  Steve_Jobs  heterogeneity  incrementalism  negative_space  open_mind  think_differently  small_wins  quick_wins 
may 2018 by jerryking
How the first 20 minutes of your day can set you up for success
SEPTEMBER 1, 2017 | ENTREPRENEUR.COM via - The Globe and Mail | AHMED SAFWAN.

1. Don't click the snooze button.
2. Do make your bed.
Your room will look cleaner and feel more organized -- both of which train your mind to want to get things done, right away. It's a small win, but you can build on it as your day continues.
3. Visualize your life.
This is probably the best thing you can do in the alpha state. Visualize your life. What will it be in five years, when you've achieved your goal of building your business? How about your relationships? Concentrate on how they'll look in the future and what you need to make them real. Tap into your subconscious mind to request what you want and then make your brain drive your actions.
4. Watch a motivational video.

5. Repeat your affirmations.
6. Keep a journal.
routines  journaling  affirmations  visualization  subconscious  rituals  small_wins  quick_wins 
september 2017 by jerryking
The young person's guide to extreme success: What I wish I had known when I was 20 - YouTube
Your life is nothing more than a series of choices....you are the compilation of your choices!!
Rule #1: Think carefully about relationships and children.
Rule #2: Learn how to start a business, just in case.
Rule #3: Always think like an investor in every part of your life (investing--Sun Tzu "The battle is won before it begins"; invest your time like its money, learn how to ignore the world when necessary, 1, 3, 5, 10 yr. goals--figure out what you need to do that day, schedule how you will use your time each day)
Rule #4: Educated geeks are now running the world (educational mediocrity is unacceptable); (listen to everybody, stop talking so damn much).
Ruel #5: Protect your mental and physical health [(exercise, keep losers away from the things you value (i.e. mind, body, spirit, family, time, business)] Be miserly with my time.
Rule #6: Stop being normal!!
advice  preparation  life_skills  relationships  parenting  conflict_resolution  Sun_Tzu  owners  self-education  exercise  positive_thinking  affirmations  time-management  Pablo_Picasso  geeks  delayed_gratification  Boyce_Watkins  choices 
september 2017 by jerryking
Rules for Modern Living From the Ancient Stoics -
May 25, 2017 | WSJ | By Massimo Pigliucci.

Stoicism is practical and humane, and it has plenty to teach us. The philosophy may have been developed around 300 B.C. by Zeno of Cyprus, but it is increasingly relevant today, as evidenced by the popularity of events such as Stoicon, an international conference set to hold its fourth annual gathering in Toronto this October.

The Stoics had centuries to think deeply about how to live, and they developed a potent set of exercises to help us navigate our existence, appreciating the good while handling the bad. These techniques have stood the test of time over two millennia. Here are five of my favorites.

(1) Learn to separate what is and isn’t in your power. This lets you approach everything with equanimity and tranquility of mind. ...Understand and internalize the difference, and you will be happier with your efforts, regardless of the outcome.

(2) Contemplate the broader picture. Looking from time to time at what the Stoics called “the view from above” will help you to put things in perspective and sometimes even let you laugh away troubles that are not worth worrying about. The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius made a note of this in his famous personal diary, “The Meditations”: “Altogether the interval is small between birth and death; and consider with how much trouble, and in company with what sort of people and in what a feeble body, this interval is laboriously passed.”

(3) Think in advance about challenges you may face during the day. A prepared mind may make all the difference between success and disaster.

(4) Be mindful of the here and now (i.e. living in the moment). The past is no longer under your control: Let it go. The future will come eventually, but the best way to prepare for it is to act where and when you are most effective—right here, right now.

(5) Before going to bed, write in a personal philosophical diary. This exercise will help you to learn from your experiences—and forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Stoicism was meant to be a practical philosophy. It isn’t about suppressing emotions or stalking through life with a stiff upper lip. It is about adjusting your responses to what happens, enduring what must be endured and enjoying what can be enjoyed.
Stoics  philosophy  Romans  journaling  self-discipline  mindfulness  span_of_control  mybestlife  preparation  beforemath  sense_of_proportion  the_big_picture  anticipating  contextual  forward_looking  foresight  GTD  perspectives  affirmations  beyond_one's_control  chance  living_in_the_moment  Greek  personal_control 
june 2017 by jerryking
Neil deGrasse Tyson on What Every Child Should Know About Science - WSJ
By Chris Kornelis
Updated May 18, 2017

The best advice I’ve ever received is: “It’s not good enough to be right. You also need to be effective.” Cyril deGrasse Tyson, 1928-2016.
profile  science  advice  Neil_deGrasse_Tyson  African-Americans  quotes  affirmations  effectiveness  scientifically_literate 
may 2017 by jerryking
One Habit to Make You Happier Today - WSJ
By Elizabeth Bernstein
May 8, 2017
..... “QTL” (which stands for “Quality Time Left”) in difficult times, including when his wife was terminally ill last year, to remind himself not to waste time thinking about the negative and to focus on what makes him happy. Kathlene Carney, 55, a publicist in Point Richmond, Calif., begins repeating “good things always happen to me and good things always happen through me” as soon she feels a downward cycle of negative thinking coming on....How can you choose the best mantra for you? Not just any clichéd motto—“Just do it!”—will do.

Picture yourself older and wiser. Now think about what advice this evolved version of yourself would most want to give you right now to make your life better. Write it down. And distill it into single word, phrase or short sentence. “Make sure that it rings true for you, that it makes you feel good, empowered, reassured, and hopeful,”

Choose several. ‘Having one mantra can become monotonous or routine and it can lose its meaning,” But don’t have so many mantras that you have to struggle to recall them.

Keep it short. It needs to be easy to remember.

Make sure it is positive. But not unbelievable. “If it’s too positive, it can feel hokey—‘I’m good enough, smart enough and people like me,’” For example, telling yourself all is well when it clearly isn’t may not help. “Mantras that help build a healthy brain long-term are based in truth, logic and helpfulness,”

Trigger your mantra. Practice thinking about what’s bothering you and then saying your mantra. This will train your brain to call up the word or phrase as a habit when you are stressed.

Picture your new neural pathways.
affirmations  Elizabeth_Bernstein  habits  inspiration  mantras  mybestlife  negativity_bias  positive_thinking 
may 2017 by jerryking
Dancing with Disruption - Mike Lipkin
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By Mike Lipkin
#1. Become someone who knows.....a secret is a formula or knowledge that is only known to a few. If you own a secret, you have the power to share it so you can turn the few into the many. Secrets are everywhere – hiding in plain sight. The difference between someone who knows and someone who doesn’t is the willingness to do the work, find the information, talk to the people and formulate one’s strategy. Be a source of joy and not a source of stress!! Disruption begins long before.....Mastering other people's emotions....Add in a way that thrills and delights others!! Prospective of Personal Mastery....industry connection + internal influence.
# 2. Have an audacious ambition. If you want to be a disruptor, you can be humble, but you can’t be modest. You have to dream big....dream bigger than anything that gets in its way.
#3. Be simultaneously analytical and creative. There may be a gap in the market, but is there a market in the gap? ...Disruption demands left and right brain firing together. Your intuition may alert you to the opportunity but it’s your intellect that builds your business case. That’s why you need wingmen or women to complement your capacity. Fly social not solo.
#4. Be prolific. The more you lose, the more you win. 1.0 is always imperfect. You will hear the word “no” hundreds of times more than the word “yes.” The best way to get ready is to do things before you’re ready. The best you can do is get it as right as you can the first time [i.e. "good enough"] and then get better, stronger, smarter. Disruptors try a lot more things than disruptees. They fail fast and they fail forward. [Practice: repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency.
#5. Communicate like magic. If you want to be a disruptor, you must be a great communicator. ... the right words generate oxytocin – the love hormone, whereas the wrong words generate cortisol, the stress hormone. .... tell your story in a way that opens people’s hearts, minds and wallets to you. Create a vocabulary.
#6. Be a talent magnet. Disruption demands the boldest and brightest partners....The best talent goes where it earns the highest return. Reputation is everything. [What would Mandela do?]
#7. Play like a champion today. Disruptors may not always play at their best but they play their best every day. They bring their A-Game no matter who they’re playing....you feel their intensity and passion. How hard are you hustling on any given day? Everything matters. There is no such thing as small. They’re all in, all the time.
disruption  personal_branding  uncertainty  hard_work  Pablo_Picasso  creativity  intuition  intensity  passions  talent  failure  partnerships  reputation  Communicating_&_Connecting  storytelling  thinking_big  expertise  inequality_of_information  knowledge_intensive  imperfections  audacity  special_sauce  prolificacy  affirmations  unshared_information  good_enough  pairs  Mike_Lipkin  CAIF 
april 2017 by jerryking
Edith Cooper Goldman Sachs on talking about race at work - Business Insider
Edith Cooper, Goldman Sachs
Sep. 23, 2016,

Focusing on what you can control and taking mindful steps and positive action towards what matters to you
Goldman_Sachs  African-Americans  Harvard  HBS  women  beyond_one's_control  Wall_Street  human_resources  affirmations  span_of_control  Edith_Cooper 
december 2016 by jerryking
How to have an ‘attitude of gratitude’
Jul. 19, 2016 | The Globe and Mail | BILL HOWATT Special to The Globe and Mail

gratitude = counting your good fortune -- such as having good health, feeling safe, having loving family and friends --and your well-being.

Your mental health is influenced by what you focus on -- if you focus on the positive, most likely you’ll feel more positive, too. The "98-2 theory" : It’s common for a person to report that 98% of their day is going well and 2% is not. Oftentimes, as a result, 98% of their focus is on the 2% that’s not going so well. This can then cloud their perceptions, and instill a negative bias, as to how well their life is going right now. It can also affect their level of stress and sense of balance and calm..... take a few moments each day to reflect and acknowledge what you have to be grateful for. This reflection can be done inside your head or in writing. This is called “an attitude of gratitude.”

Practicing gratefulness

Here are some simple ways you can start to practice gratefulness.

Awareness

For seven days, take a few moments at the end of each day to reflect and acknowledge what you are grateful for and why. Consider all the people with whom you interacted and the ones you thanked and acknowledged.

Get a daily boost

Gratitude can fuel life satisfaction and contentment. Through daily reflection and practice, gratitude can become a positive boost. When practiced regularly it can provide a positive reserve to draw upon in those moments of life when you feel stressed and challenged.

Evaluate daily

Once a day is over, you can’t get it back. You can, though, enjoy the journey. Taking time each day to focus on what you are grateful for is a discipline that takes practice.
gratitude  mindsets  biases  affirmations  negativity_bias 
july 2016 by jerryking
President Obama Quotes Carl Sagan at Rutgers: “Embrace What is True Rather Than What Feels Good”
It calls to mind the words of Carl Sagan, who graduated high school here in New Jersey, he said: “We can judge our progress by the courage of our questions and the depths of our answers, our willingness to embrace what is true rather than what feels good.”
questions  quotes  Obama  affirmations  self-delusions  courage  arduous 
june 2016 by jerryking
9 Affirmations the Most Successful People Repeat Each and Every Day | Inc.com
1. "I treat others the way they want to be treated."
2. "I am ever grateful." Gratitude allows happiness to come into my life. I define and talk about the things I am grateful for on a daily basis. I know that the No. 1 way for me to be happy is to choose to be grateful.
3. "I am accountable." I am reliable. I am responsible. I never blame others. I never make excuses. I take ownership of my successes as well as my mistakes. I know that my own performance is a direct result of what I think and the actions I take.
4. "I believe in myself." When I fail, I learn. My failures are temporary because my perseverance is permanent. I push forward at all times because I know I can succeed. As I continually believe in myself, my confidence increases.
5. "I have high standards." I do not let mediocrity enter my life. I am honest. I do not apologize for striving for excellence. My quality of life is a reflection of my high standards. By living up to my personal high standards, my confidence increases.
6. "I follow my heart." Time is precious, and everyone has something that they are passionate about. (jk: mybestlife) The cost of not following my heart is too great, I am going to live life with no regrets. As I follow my heart, my confidence increases.
7. "I trust my gut." I value my intuition, since it is based on my subconscious mind and conscious mind working in harmony. I know what is true, and I know what I want to be true. I trust my gut feelings, my inner voice. As I trust myself, my confidence increases.
8. "I am resilient." I have overcome many challenges and will overcome many more. The times that are the toughest are the times I learn the most. I never back down. I work hard and I push through. As I act in a resilient manner, my confidence increases.
9. "I help people." I matter because I make a difference. While I may get tired, I am not weary. I share myself and love to serve. By making a difference, my confidence increases.

If we tell ourselves our personal truth enough, it manifests into reality. Our reality and our actions will always match the story we believe.
affirmations  Jeff_Haden  mybestlife  gratitude  accountability  resilience  mediocrity  high-standards  next_play  gut_feelings  serving_others  passions  no_regrets  inner-directed  it's_up_to_me 
april 2016 by jerryking
Definite Purpose Statement
Lets say I want to do something I’ve never done. Which will be the case for many of the readers here. Since you haven’t done it there are bound top be doubts or conflicts with current beliefs. Beliefs are difficult to override, impossible to override long term, that’s why you see those patterns, those repetitive cycles in your life Here is a key to make the Definite Purpose Statement work.

I am looking forward to the future, and am grateful that I am in the process of creating an income in exce...
affirmations  howto  via:sergiojvalentin  purpose  mission_statements  mission-driven 
april 2016 by jerryking
The Healing Power of Forgiveness - WSJ
By DIANE COLE
March 20, 2016

Begin to let go of the need for validation. Don’t be motivated by the opinions or others or the desire for recognition. Be driven by what is important to you and what you value.

Trust your instincts and allow for experimentation. Get to know yourself and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have to fail a few times.

Accept others as they are. Begin letting go of judgments and criticism of others. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself.

Really hear people. Go beyond just listening and understanding. Let people know that you really get them.

Take care of unresolved matters in your life. Restore your integrity. Forgive and ask for forgiveness where necessary. Reclaim the energy you have given to these matters
affirmations  foregiveness  inner-directed  mens'_health  validation 
march 2016 by jerryking
Successful people act quickly when things go wrong - The Globe and Mail
HARVEY SCHACHTER
Special to The Globe and Mail
Published Sunday, Aug. 02, 2015

Productivity

Pivot quickly to maximize success
Airplanes are off course 90 per cent of the time but incessantly correct their direction, . Similarly, successful people correct their course quickly when off-kilter. They also set short timelines, have small daily to-do lists and drop stuff that isn’t working. Lifehack.org

Branding

Learn from but don’t live in the past
It’s great to know your company history but senseless to live in the past,Your company’s history is valuable only if customers and prospective clients believe it defines your brand and success, and differentiates you from competitors. If it doesn’t, build a new history.

Leadership

Pre-empt attacks with regular audits
To pre-empt an activist investor’s attack, eliminate financial and operational underperformance. Conduct regular vulnerability audits, looking at factors such as how earnings per share, profit and price-to-earnings ratios in the past 18 months compare with peers. If necessary, create an aggressive turnaround plan. ChiefExecutive.net

Human resources

Ask potential hires where they’ll go next
It sounds weird, but LinkedIn asks potential employees what job they want to have next after they leave the company. Founder Reid Hoffman says it signals the intent to have a huge impact on the individual’s career, helping to develop them for whatever they choose, and invites honesty. Vox.com

Tech tip

Use phone’s camera as portable copier
Productivity blogger Mark Shead recommends using your phone’s camera as a portable copy machine/scanner when on the road, photographing paperwork, train schedules or other information. Many new camera phones have the resolution to provide readable copies. Productivity 501.com
branding  productivity  human_resources  leadership  Harvey_Schachter  character_traits  habits  pre-emption  course_correction  Reid_Hoffman  career_paths  beforemath  overachievers  affirmations  pivots  audits  signals  vulnerabilities  hiring  interviews  high-achieving 
august 2015 by jerryking
Eleven things ultra-productive people do differently - The Globe and Mail
Jul. 31, 2015 | Entrepreneur.com | TRAVIS BRADBERRY.

1. They Never Touch Things Twice
2. They Get Ready for Tomorrow. Before they leave the office, productive people end each day by preparing for the next. It only takes a few minutes and it’s a great way to end your workday.
3. They Eat Frogs “Eating a frog” is the best antidote for procrastination, and ultra-productive people start each morning with this tasty treat. In other words, they do the least appetizing, most dreaded item on their to-do list before they do anything else. After that, they’re freed up to tackle the stuff that excites and inspires them.
4. They Fight The Tyranny Of The Urgent
5. They Stick to the Schedule During Meetings
6. They Say No. [jk...be conservative, be discerning, be picky, be selective, say "no"]
7. They Only Check E-mail At Designated Times.
8. They Don’t Multitask!
9. They Go off The Grid. This strategy is a bulletproof way to complete high-priority projects.
10. They Delegate
11. They Put Technology to Work for Them Investigate apps like IFTTT, which sets up contingencies on your smart phone and alerts you when something important happens.
productivity  GTD  habits  mobile_applications  delegation  discipline  preparation  multitasking  technology  off-grid  focus  say_"no"  monotasking  lists  affirmations 
august 2015 by jerryking
To be successful, do only what you do best - The Globe and Mail
STEVE TOBAK
Entrepreneur.com
Published Friday, Mar. 27 2015

make no mistake, if you want to be successful in business, you have to find that one thing you do best.
strengths  focus  ksfs  affirmations  howto  special_sauce 
march 2015 by jerryking
Ari Emanuel's WME-IMG Merger: The Possible Financial Troubles
March 2015 | | Vanity Fair | BY WILLIAM D. COHAN.

“Take advantage of each day that's given to you, and do something to move the needle on your business, even if it's just an inch. You've heard it before, but life is not a dress rehearsal. Don't waste your time (or mine).”....In 2009, Emanuel decided to take another big risk. “Nobody fucks up like I do,” he once wrote, “but you'll never succeed unless you take big risks. Big ones.”......“There's nobody more important when it comes to television packaging than Ari and Rick Rosen [WME's television chief],” says entertainment mogul David Geffen. “There's nobody who does it better. For instance, Steven Spielberg was at CAA for decades, and they did nothing for him in television, and he goes with Ari, and he has had seven or eight shows on the air. That's about accomplishment, not about bullshit.”........Over the next decade Forstmann transformed IMG into an international production-and-packaging powerhouse. The expanding business cut profitable deals with more than 200 American college and university sports teams, as well as with Indian Premier League cricket, Wimbledon, the Australian and U.S. Open tennis tournaments, tennis tournaments in Spain and Malaysia, and Barclays Premier League soccer. It ran Fashion Week in New York, Milan, and London, and in China it formed an exclusive joint venture with the national television network to create sports programming—all this in addition to representing such sports stars as Novak Djokovic, Maria Sharapova, and Venus Williams. It also signed up an array of fashion designers and models, including Michael Kors, Diane von Furstenberg, Gisele Bündchen, and Kate Moss.
Ari_Emanuel  mybestlife  talent_management  mergers_&_acquisitions  entertainment_industry  chutzpah  Hollywood  overachievers  Ted_Forstmann  talent_representation  dealmakers  packaging  Silver_Lake  affirmations  idea_generation  creating_valuable_content  hard_work  performance  strivers  sports  fashion  superstars  risk-taking  William_Cohan  James_Baldwin  personal_accomplishments 
march 2015 by jerryking
A billionaire’s guide to productivity - The Globe and Mail
FRED MOUAWAD
Contributed to The Globe and Mail
Published Wednesday, Feb. 11 2015

1. Prioritize. Rank the level of importance of family, me time, and work. Think about the areas of life that need nurturing in order to feel more fulfilled. It is essential to strike a balance to lead both a happy and productive life.

2. Allocate time (JCK: lead time) to maximize an impact (JCK: leverage or return on effort). Forewarned is forearmed. Plan ahead how you will use your time – after all, knowing your schedule is half the battle.

3. Know your natural penchants. If you find that the time spent on these activities does not give you a high level of return, consider allocating your time more thoughtfully.

4. Reduce uncertainty, increase accountability. A lack of clarity is productivity’s greatest enemy.

5. Know when to be a lone wolf. It is important to know your strengths. What tasks are you better off performing on your own? What tasks can you delegate?

6. Establish a nurturing culture. Productivity is easier to achieve in the right environment.

7. Measurement gets results-- measure performance to make continuous improvements. But make sure that you measuring the right things.
time-management  productivity  GTD  JCK  lead_time  priorities  strengths  self-discipline  business_planning  reflections  work_life_balance  uncertainty  clarity  affirmations  self-awareness  ksfs  preparation  penchants  predilections  measurements  proclivities  willpower  high-impact  time-allocation  return_on_effort 
february 2015 by jerryking
First your cancer diagnosis, now some advice - The Globe and Mail
VENETIA BUTLER
Contributed to The Globe and Mail
Published Monday, Jan. 12 2015

Fighting cancer is a difficult journey, but you will get through this. I am rooting for you.
cancers  advice  inspiration  affirmations 
january 2015 by jerryking
Eight ways to become the most proactive person you know - The Globe and Mail
MICHAEL MOGILL
Young Entrepreneur Council
Published Tuesday, Dec. 09 2014

It’s all about you. No one else is going to get you where you want to go – it’s up to you.... Take ownership of your problems, and realize that nobody else is going to solve them for you.

Be solution-focused. ...The most effective way to handle a problem is to focus on finding a solution. Focusing on things that are out of your control is a waste of time, so focus on what you can control with the final outcome.

Be accountable. Set your clearly defined, quantifiable goal and then work backwards from that goal to establish metrics to track and evaluate it.

Use “SMART” goals. S: Specific (Pick something particular instead of using a broad category.) M: Measurable (Choose something you can quantify.) A: Attainable (You should actually be able to reach this, and it may just require the right steps.) R: Realistic (Be honest – it’s probably unrealistic to say you will go from making $10,000 to being a billionaire in one year.)T: Timely (Give each goal a timeframe to create a sense of urgency.)

Make your own luck. Being successful ... is about taking steps every day to be better than you were the day before by moving in a positive, forward trajectory. Make a blueprint and set out milestones for yourself in specific timeframes, or you are not going to hit your goal. Things do not come to fruition just because you really, really want them to happen. You have to make them happen.

Be consistent. Ultimately, success is not about getting everything right. It is about being consistent. Are you consistently and persistently taking steps every day to steadily move toward your goal?

Find the right people. Surrounding yourself with driven, effective people is a proven way to help you succeed.

Honesty is the best policy. Busywork is not effectiveness/progress. At the end of the day, if you don’t hit your goals, you are only doing a disservice to yourself. You cannot get better if you tell yourself, “Oh, it’s okay, I’m fine where I am.” (There has to be a certain element of sustained dissatisfaction).
accountability  affirmations  beyond_one's_control  blueprints  books  busywork  chance  character_traits  consistency  contingency  dissatisfaction  effectiveness  goal-setting  GTD  honesty  indispensable  intrinsically_motivated  It's_up_to_me  JCK  ksfs  luck  Managing_Your_Career  personal_control  proactivity  problem_solving  productivity  rainmaking  restlessness  self-starters  solutions  solution-finders  span_of_control  the_right_people  thinking_backwards  work-back_schedules 
december 2014 by jerryking
What World Cup athletes can teach us about bouncing back - The Globe and Mail
Jul. 14 2014 | G&M | DANE JENSEN.

The resilience tool-kit: Four tips to improve mental fitness

Through our work with more than 70 Olympic medalists and thousands of managers, we have identified four mental fitness tools – drawn from sport psychology – that are critically important to resilience, and applicable in any environment:

1. Perspective – Consciously choose a “Three C” perspective.

Research has identified that individuals who thrive under pressure choose to view setbacks with a sense of challenge (“this is a test”), focus on what they can control (“time to work on my dribbling”), and commit to making it happen. ... The key is to notice the perspective you are taking and, if it doesn’t focus on what you want, change it.

2. Energy management – Don’t waste the energy inherent in disappointment.

What are you going to do with that energy? How will you put it to use so that you never feel like this again?

3. Imagery – “Change the film” and look forward.

Elite athletes choose to have short memories. They consciously work to “change the film” in their head and focus on what they want rather than what they don’t want.

4. Focus – Create and hold a compelling vision of the future.

Having one's own version of a "podium moment" is important – achievement plays a major role for all of us. Equally important is considering what the goals are that hold meaning for you, and how your day-to-day actions are connected to these goals.
inspiration  bouncing_back  resilience  FIFA  soccer  affirmations  lessons_learned  athletes_&_athletics  sports  sport_psychology  personal_energy  goals  focus  disappointment 
september 2014 by jerryking
Fifteen things successful entrepreneurs do every day - The Globe and Mail
JACQUELINE WHITMORE
Entrepreneur.com
Published Monday, Jul. 14 2014,

1. Eat breakfast.

2. Plan your day.

3. Don’t check e-mail right away.

4. Remember your purpose. *************************
5. Single-task.

6. Visualize.

7. Say no. [jk...be conservative, be discerning, be picky, be selective, say "no"]

8. Value your time.

9. Delegate.

10. Listen.

11. Show gratitude.

12. Stand up and move around.

13. Breathe deeply.

14. Take a lunch break.

15. Clear your desk.
deep_breathing  entrepreneur  ksfs  listening  focus  gratitude  proactivity  productivity  self-starters  GTD  say_"no"  monotasking  affirmations  visioning 
august 2014 by jerryking
Relax
1. Develop your own personal operating system. Carve out and define your own reality, philosophy, values, and interests rather than automatically accepting those of your family, peers, religion, or culture.

2. Begin to let go of the need for validation. Don’t be motivated by the opinions or others or the desire for recognition. Be driven by what is important to you and what you value.

3. Trust your instincts and allow for experimentation. Get to know yourself and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have to fail a few times.
4. Accept others as they are. Begin letting go of judgments and criticism of others. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself.

5. Really hear people. Go beyond just listening and understanding. Let people know that you really get them.

6. Take care of unresolved matters in your life. Restore your integrity. Forgive and ask for forgiveness where necessary. Reclaim the energy you have given to these matters.

7. Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Get some form of exercise daily. Eat healthy foods that support your body, not your emotions. Do this because you respect yourself, not to impress others.

8. Cause things to happen. Don’t wait for them. Be a creator, an instigator, a collaborator. Share your enthusiasm.

9. Show people you care. Don’t just talk about it. Show them in ways that are meaningful to them, not you.

10. Require the best of people. See them not only for who they are, but who they can be. Lovingly reflect that vision to them.

11. Ensure your own needs are met. Discern your primary needs, and communicate fully what is important and valuable to you in your relationships. Don’t compromise these to keep peace or hang on.

12. Speak constructively. Use your words to uplift, inspire, motivate, and encourage. Don’t offer “constructive criticism” or subtle digs.

13. Laugh easily. Have a lightness about you. Take life less seriously and choose to find and create fun and joy.

14. Cease gossip. Choose not to talk about others in ways that are openly or subtlety critical. Don’t share information for the feeling of power or intrigue.

15. Make requests, not complaints. If you need something from someone, ask for it directly. Don’t whine or complain to them or others.

16. Handle situations fully. Kindly but clearly deal with negative issues as soon as possible. Don’t tolerate anything if it causes resentments.

17. Be done with arguments. Smile and walk away until healthy communication is possible.

18. Offer help only when asked. Don’t assume that others want you to fix them or that you know best for them. Be available and give help only when asked.

19. Care deeply, but remain detached. Let others know you care deeply about them when they have problems, but don’t get caught up in their problems.

20. See with your heart, not your eyes. Look beyond superficiality when seeing someone. Financial status, appearance, notoriety, all mean nothing. Look for the authentic person inside.

21. Don’t say yes when you mean no. If you mean no, your yes will be harnessed with resentment. Say yes only when your yes is given freely.

22. Let others know you are grateful. Tell them and show them that you feel blessed to have them in your life.

23. Never play the guilt card. Don’t try to manipulate or hurt someone by trying to make them feel bad about their choices, decisions, or actions.

24. Give more than is expected. Don’t over-commit, but freely give more than you promise.

25. Be inter-developmental in your relationships. Don’t be controlling, dependent or co-dependent. Create relationships that are mutually uplifting, reward, and satisfying.

26. Be a big person. Don’t try to take credit, diminish others, or hold back on praise. Offer acknowledgment and power when it is needed and deserved.

27. Be confident enough to be humble. Be able to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your flaws and failures, and accept that they don’t define you.

28. Be open to learning. Don’t flaunt your intelligence or superior knowledge. Recognize that there is always something to learn, even from those who appear “less than.”

29. Be more engaged than engaging. Show your sincere interest in others. Use the word “you” more than “I.” Listen intently and reflect back to others who they are.

30. Give gifts that others want. Not just gifts to impress or that are important to you.

31. Challenge yourself constantly. Don’t settle for mediocre. Don’t languish in past accomplishments. Keep moving forward and exude enthusiasm about possibilities and the actions to make them happen.

32. Detach from adrenaline. Simplify your life enough so you are not rushed, stressed, cluttered, or distracted. Allow yourself time and room to focus.

33. Embrace the incredible power of now. Nothing is more valuable than this moment. Make it the best moment you possibly can right now.

34. Don’t fight the flow. Don’t struggle against people or situations you can’t control. Move effortlessly in a different direction.

35. Keep evolving. Stay on a path of self-improvement and stay alert for opportunities for shifts and growth.
motivations  inspiration  strengths  affirmations  personal_growth  self-improvement  immediacy  simplicity  focus  movingonup  gift_ideas  listening  continuous_learning  humility  praise  relationships  overdeliver  gratitude  sincerity  authenticity  self-awareness  constructive_criticism  foregiveness  values  self-starters  healthy_lifestyles  gossip  self-analysis  self-assessment  self-satisfaction  complacency  personal_energy  span_of_control  disconnecting  rainmaking  individual_initiative  beyond_one's_control  next_play  walking_away 
august 2014 by jerryking
5 Things Super Lucky People Do
Mar 17, 2014 | Inc. Magazine | BY Kevin Daum.

1. Play to your strengths. So much time and energy is wasted trying to do things you probably don't do very well. Author and Inc. columnist Lewis Schiff learned from his survey of incredibly wealthy people that they got that way by focusing only on what they do best. Everything else you can delegate, or you could find a partner to compensate for your weaknesses. That way, you will shine where you excel and attract opportunity. Good things come to those who emanate success.

2. Prepare in advance. Unlucky people often get that way because they're reactive and unprepared for whatever comes. People who have stored food and water in their basements aren't lucky to find themselves prepared when disaster strikes, they used forethought to make sure they had what they might need just in case. I personally scoff at this horrible recent trend of disparaging business plans because things change constantly. The point of a business plan isn't to follow it no matter what, it's to establish a structure for smart decision making that allows you to succeed no matter what the future might bring.

3. Start early. Some people seem to have more hours in the day. I myself don't need more than six hours of sleep and am constantly finding ways to be more efficient. I use that extra time to start my projects well in advance. My rewards aren't dependent upon the time of day that I take action. (This column is being written at 3 a.m.) But it does matter that I'm beginning to explore projects I expect to complete months or years from now. So many people only want to put their energy into things that provide immediate gratification. The most fortunate people I know are the ones who planted seeds early and now reap that harvest of happiness.

4. Connect with as many people as possible. The key to success is access to opportunity. Access comes from influence. If you're influential, people will come and bring opportunities to you. The bigger your following, the more powerful your influence. The only way to build a big following is to provide value to many people. You have to provide the sort of value that will cause people to spread your thoughts far and wide, attributing credit to you when they do. Are you creating that kind of value? If not, figure how you can.

5. Follow up. Opportunities often come and go because people don't respond in a timely manner. I'm always amazed when people ask me for something and I respond only to never hear from them again. Three months ago, a young woman asked me if I hire interns or assistants. I replied immediately saying I'm always willing to consider hiring people who bring value to my work. I asked her how she thought she could enhance what I could do. I never heard from her again. Perhaps she now considers herself unlucky that opportunity doesn't come her way. I believe that following up is often more powerful and impressive than the act of initiating.
tips  luck  Communicating_&_Connecting  opportunities  JCK  focus  preparation  readiness  value_creation  networking  following_up  self-starters  overachievers  strengths  affirmations  forethought  weaknesses  individual_initiative  unprepared  chance  contingency  partnerships  high-achieving  early_risers 
march 2014 by jerryking
Hard Things You Need To Do To Be Successful - Business Insider
Jan. 14, 2014

You have to make the call you're afraid to make.
You have to get up earlier than you want to get up.
You have to give more than you get in return right away.
You have to care more about others than they care about you.
You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore.
You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter.
You have to lead when no one else is following you yet.
You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is.
You have to look like a fool while you're looking for answers you don't have.
You have to grind out the details when it's easier to shrug them off.
You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option.
You have to search for your own explanations even when you're told to accept the "facts."
You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.
You have to try and fail and try again.
You have to run faster even though you're out of breath.
You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.
You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable and deliver results that are unparalleled.
You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.
You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what's in front of you.
You have to do the hard things. The things that no one else is doing. The things that scare you. The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on.

Those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between living a life of mediocrity or outrageous success.

The hard things are the easiest things to avoid. To excuse away. To pretend like they don't apply to you.

The simple truth about how ordinary people accomplish outrageous feats of success is that they do the hard things that smarter, wealthier, more qualified people don't have the courage — or desperation — to do.

Do the hard things. You might be surprised at how amazing you really are.
affirmations  hard_work  hard_truths  howto  indispensable  invest_in_yourself  It's_up_to_me  JCK  ksfs  next_play  playing_it_safe  self-discipline 
january 2014 by jerryking
Why you need to build your legacy now
Dec. 24 2013 | The Globe and Mail | JESSICA LEIGH JOHNSTON

“Are you on this planet to do something, or are you here for something to do?" --after some thinking, they understand that the answer is to do something. Then we say, “If you’re here to do something, what is it?”
the legacy you leave is the life you lead: it’s what you are doing right now that determines how you will be remembered. Thinking of ‘life’ as an acronym is a helpful guideline for thinking about legacy:

· What are the Lessons that you want people to say you taught them?

· What are the Ideals you hope people will say that you stood for?

· What are the Feelings you hope people will say they had when you were around them?

· What are the tangible Expressions of your leadership? Not just your accomplishments, but the things you might have contributed. Maybe you worked every Saturday for 25 years for Habitat for Humanity, or you were active in the community as a volunteer for sports. What are some of those tangible achievements?

We find this framework useful for people to reflect on legacy, and to come back to it periodically and ask themselves, “Is there anything more I want to add, and am I living my life in harmony with these guidelines?”

"What is the best way to learn something?” And I thought I had the learned the answer to that question, and said confidently: “The best way to learn something is to experience it yourself.” Fred turned to me and he said, “No, Jim, the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else.”
legacies  leadership  JCK  life_skills  teaching  serving_others  values  affirmations  mybestlife 
december 2013 by jerryking
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid
11/18/2013| - Forbes| Cheryl Conner, Contributor

For all the time executives spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it, mental strength can mean even more. Particularly for entrepreneurs, numerous articles talk about critical characteristics of mental strength—tenacity, “grit,” optimism, and an unfailing ability as Forbes contributor David Williams says, to “fail up.”...we can also define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do.
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
2. Give Away Their Power.
3. Shy Away from Change.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks.
7. Dwell on the Past.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.
9. Resent Other People’s Success.
10. Give Up After Failure.
11. Fear Alone Time.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
13. Expect Immediate Results.
grit  resilience  personality_types/traits  character_traits  habits  inspiration  beyond_one's_control  affirmations  overachievers  span_of_control  high-achieving 
december 2013 by jerryking
Activity Does Not Always Equal Productivity - NYTimes.com
October 11, 2013 | NYT | By TONY SCHWARTZ.

"Don't Confuse Motion and Progress"

We're more multitasking more today than you ever have before...
The real issue is whether you’re getting the right things done....what stands in the way of your being truly productive? What's the right balance between attending to what’s truly urgent and focusing on what’s less pressing but will most likely add the most enduring value.
(1) You need more sleep than you think, and maybe much more. 95 percent of us need at least seven to eight hours of sleep to feel fully rested.
(2) Do the most important thing first. The pull to e-mail is powerful and Pavlovian. By checking your e-mail first, you effectively turn over your agenda to others. It is far better to decide what your agenda ought to be the night before and make that the first thing you focus on at work, without interruption, for up to 90 minutes. If you must check e-mail when you get up because there are urgent messages, scan quickly for anything that truly cannot wait an hour. Answer those, ignore the rest, and then do what’s truly most important.
(3) Stop pushing through. Human beings are designed to operate in 90-minute cycles...By focusing more intensely for shorter periods, you’ll get more done, in less time, at a higher level of quality, more sustainably.
(4) Get it off your mind. With so much coming at us all the time, it’s hardly surprising that our instinctive default is to do whatever feels most urgent and easiest to address. The consequence, of course, is that we often keep putting off what’s most challenging and then lack the energy to do it by the time we finally get to it. BELIEVE IN LISTS, first and foremost as a means of downloading everything that’s on your mind to get it off your mind....keep all lists in one place. For example, what I want to do that day, over the next week, and in the longer term. I also keep a list of e-mails I need to send; calls I intend to make; ideas I want to explore further; issues I want to discuss with specific colleagues; and even things that are making me feel anxious... The other value I derive from detailed lists is that they help clarify what I ought not to be focused on. By having everything in one place, I can much more easily decide what’s truly important and what’s not. Half the value of having a list is to make it more obvious what not to do. I might have 50 to 100 items on my lists, but I typically give explicit priority to three or fewer in any given day.
(5) Make it matter. Finally, and simply, ask yourself a simple question before you begin any activity: “Is this the best way I could be spending my time?” If the answer is no, don’t do it.
work_life_balance  productivity  lists  effectiveness  GTD  busy_work  e-mail  Tony_Schwartz  multitasking  sleep  timeouts  priorities  affirmations  monotasking  To-Do 
october 2013 by jerryking
What is Hustle?
(From my cubicle wall at the TD Bank 1988-1990)
Hustle is doing something that everyone is absolutely certain can’t be done.

Hustle is getting commitment because you got there first, or stayed w...
inspiration  hustle  affirmations  capital_efficiency  It's_up_to_me 
august 2013 by jerryking
Overcoming Your Negativity Bias - NYTimes.com
June 14, 2013, 12:44 pm Comment
Overcoming Your Negativity Bias
By TONY SCHWARTZ
Negative thoughts destroy one's concentration....write down everything you feel grateful for in that moment. you'll feel remarkably better, but also far more able to concentrate on the task at hand. .. If you’re a manager or a leader, you carry an extra responsibility. By virtue of your authority, your emotions are disproportionately influential. When you’re feeling worried, frustrated or angry, the people around you are going to pick it up – not least because they’ll be wondering whether they’re the cause. Is there someone on your team who is especially triggering you lately? Take a moment to think about the quality you most appreciate in that person – to remember what it was that drew you to that person in the first place.

Here’s the paradox: The more you’re able to move your attention to what makes you feel good, the more capacity you’ll have to manage whatever was making you feel bad in the first place. Emotions are contagious, for better or worse. It’s your choice.
cognitive_skills  biases  howto  self-criticism  gratitude  emotional_mastery  affirmations  self-defeating  self-doubt  negativity_bias  positive_thinking  pessimism 
june 2013 by jerryking
Keep Calm and Carry On
May 31, 2013 | NYT |By TONY SCHWARTZ

I had been away much of the week, I was tired and I had several morning meetings the next day that I did not want to miss. I made an instant decision: I am not going to let myself get frustrated or move into victim mode. It’s something I have worked at for many years. ....The first technique comes from sports psychology--the best tennis players are meticulous about renewing themselves in the 20 to 30 seconds between points. The first thing these players did when a point ended was to turn away from the net.

I loved the metaphor: Turn away from the net. Let it go. Don’t dissipate energy on something you can no longer influence. Invest it instead where it has the power to make a difference. I came to call it the Energy Serenity Prayer....the Each of us has a finite reservoir of energy in any given day. Whatever amount of energy we spend obsessing about missteps we have made, decisions that do not go our way or the belief we have been treated unfairly is energy no longer available to add value in the world.

Worse yet, negative emotions feed on themselves and move us into fight or flight – a reactive state in which it is impossible to think clearly. Negative emotions also burn down energy at a furious rate. It is exhausting to be a victim.

The goal is to keep calm and carry on.

If I was to keep my composure at this point, I needed to find a new gear.

This is where the second technique came in. I have long recognized that one of the best ways to make yourself feel better is to make someone else feel better
I also happened to be in the midst of reading a book called “Give and Take” by Adam Grant, which makes a compelling case that people who give without expecting anything in return actually turn out not only to feel better for having done so, but also to be more successful.

Giving, Mr. Grant explains, does not require extraordinary acts of sacrifice. It simply involves a focus on acting in the interests of others. When takers succeed, there is usually someone else who loses. When givers give, it spreads and cascades. In my own case, the book served as a powerful reminder that the “giver” is the person I want to be....Rather than feeling sorry for myself, I decided to focus on making other people feel better.
inspiration  books  giving  work_life_balance  serving_others  beyond_one's_control  personal_energy  span_of_control  sport_psychology  disconnecting  affirmations  metaphors  athletes_&_athletics  finite_resources  tennis  missteps  Adam_Grant  high-impact 
june 2013 by jerryking
Six Things to Put on Your To-Not-Do List - Forbes
DON’T DO #1: Spend time thinking about anything beyond your control. If you can’t do anything about it, drop it.
DON’T DO #2: Waste a second trying to change somebody else.
DON’T DO #3: Do anything you can delegate to somebody else.
DON’T DO #4: Focus on fixing one-time occurrences.
DON’T DO #5: Spend time with people you don’t trust or people you can’t count on.
DON’T DO #6: Put effort into anything that will clearly have little or no impact.
lists  tips  Managing_Your_Career  span_of_control  delegation  distrust  sense_of_control  productivity  affirmations  GTD  ineffectual  personal_energy  one-time_events  beyond_one's_control  high-impact 
march 2013 by jerryking
Reflections on Relationship
November 1999 | Essence | Susan L Taylor.

no one can take your peace or power unless you surrender it. No one's bad behavior makes you miserable for long unless you allow it to. It's not our lover’s bad behavior that makes us crazy, but how we internalize and respond to it....The naive misunderstanding is that our partners must behave as we want them to for us to be happy, when our happiness is a measure of our own inner state.
relationships  dating  affirmations  Susan_Taylor  emotional_mastery  misunderstandings  happiness  intrinsically_motivated  inner-directed 
september 2012 by jerryking
New Year's Resolution 2002
1. Resolve to stay brutally optimistic.
2. Resolve to identify the most powerful benefit you offer to the people around you and then deliver it. (See below)
3. Resolve to pump up your personal vitality. How do I retain personal vitality?
[Personal vitality measures overall health in four key areas:
Physical
Mental
Emotional
Purpose – INTERESTING! (I believe that having a sense of individual life purpose is absolutely fundamental to personal happiness and contentment ]
4. Resolve to be habitually generous.
5. Resolve to go on a mental diet.
6. Resolve to be a global citizen, fully open to the cultures and influences of others.
7. Resolve to take control of your destiny.
8. Resolve to increase your human connectedness. Network.
9. Resolve to increase your creativity by letting go of the familiar. If innovation is everything, how do I institutionalize it in my personal life? Innovation ==> change strategy ==> succeed because they are subversive. Be a heretic!!!
10. Resolve to be you because others are already taken.

Practice adding value to things--ideas to make things worth more.
Practice adding value to people--what can I do to help my colleagues become more effective?
Practice adding value to myself--what can I do to make myself more valuable today?
heretical  inspiration  motivations  fitness  indispensable  serving_others  value_creation  resolutions  unconventional_thinking  JCK  affirmations  optimism  authenticity  generosity  Communicating_&_Connecting  subversion  purpose  networking  creative_renewal  personal_energy 
august 2012 by jerryking
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy…
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

W. H. Murray Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe [thx SM]
hesitancy  inspiration  seminal_moments  unforeseen  boldness  commitments  affirmations  Carpe_diem  quotes 
august 2012 by jerryking
12 Things You Must Know to Survive And Thrive in America
January 28, 2002 | Newsweek Magazine | Ellis Cose.
Adapted from "The Envy of the World" by Ellis Cose.
1. Play the race card carefully, and at your own peril.
2. Complain all you like about the raw deal you have gotten in life, but don't expect those complaints to get you anywhere.
3. Expect to do better than the world expects of you; expect to live in a bigger world than the one you see.
4. Don't expect support for your dreams from those who have not accomplished much in their lives.
5. If someone is bringing out your most self-destructive tendencies, acknowledge that that person is not a friend.
6. Don't be too proud to ask for help, particularly from those who are wiser and older.
7. Recognize that being true to yourself is not the same as being true to a stupid stereotype.
8. Don't let the glitter blind you.
9. Don't expect competence and hard work alone to get you the recognition or rewards you deserve.
10. You must seize the time, for it is already later than you think.
11. Even if you have to fake it, show some faith in yourself.
12. Don't force innocent others to bear the price of your pain.
rules_of_the_game  African-Americans  Carpe_diem  self-confidence  incarceration  race  mentoring  books  self-promotion  stereotypes  movingonup  ksfs  affirmations  race_card  asking_for_help  hard_work  self-destructive 
august 2012 by jerryking
Self-discipline sets the road to success
Jul. 29 2012 | The Globe and Mail | HARVEY SCHACHTER.

See this (http://changethis.com/manifesto/96.01.SelfDiscipline/pdf/96.01.SelfDiscipline.pdf)

The paradox principle: Do the difficult things now, and things will be easier in the long term.

The buy-in principle: The more you have invested in something, the less likely you are to let it fail.

The magnification principle: If your focus is diluted, so too are your results.

The creation principle: There is a four-step process to getting things done: You think it, you speak it, you act it, and it happens.

The harvest principle: Focused effort is amplified by appropriate timing and regimented routine.
Harvey_Schachter  self-discipline  focus  self-control  affirmations  routines  skin_in_the_game 
july 2012 by jerryking
10 Things They Don't Tell You at Graduation - WSJ.com
April 27, 2012 | WSJ | By CHARLES WHEELAN.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You

April 27, 2012 | WSJ | By CHARLES WHEELAN.

10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won't Tell You

1. Your time in fraternity basements was well spent. The same goes for the time you spent playing intramural sports, working on the school newspaper or just hanging with friends. ...One of the most important causal factors associated with happiness and well-being is your meaningful connections with other human beings....think "friendships.

2. Some of your worst days lie ahead. Graduation is a happy day. But my job is to tell you that if you are going to do anything worthwhile, you will face periods of grinding self-doubt and failure. Be prepared to work through them. ... no one can afford to retire.

3. Don't make the world worse. .... don't use your prodigious talents to mess things up.

4. Marry up

5. Help stop the Little League arms race. Kids' sports are becoming ridiculously structured and competitive. What happened to playing baseball because it's fun? We are systematically creating races out of things that ought to be a journey. We know that success isn't about simply running faster than everyone else in some predetermined direction.

6. Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives.

7. Your parents don't want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn't always the same thing. There is a natural instinct to protect our children from risk and discomfort, and therefore to urge safe choices. Theodore Roosevelt—soldier, explorer, president—once remarked, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

8. Don't model your life after a circus animal. Performing animals do tricks because their trainers throw them peanuts or small fish for doing so. You should aspire to do better. You will be a friend, a parent, a coach, an employee—and so on. But only in your job will you be explicitly evaluated and rewarded for your performance. Don't let your life decisions be distorted by the fact that your boss is the only one tossing you peanuts. ...

9. It's all borrowed time. Take nothing for granted, not even tomorrow. ....the "hit by a bus" rule. Would I regret spending my life this way if I were to get hit by a bus next week or next year? And the important corollary: Does this path lead to a life I will be happy with and proud of in 10 or 20 years if I don't get hit by a bus.

10. Don't try to be great. Being great involves luck and other circumstances beyond your control. The less you think about being great, the more likely it is to happen. And if it doesn't, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid.
commencement  Colleges_&_Universities  good_enough  public_speaking  speeches  Communicating_&_Connecting  new_graduates  self-doubt  failure  risk-taking  discomforts  marriage  obituaries  Theodore_Roosevelt  happiness  friendships  arms_race  personal_connections  advice  affirmations  beyond_one's_control  luck  mybestlife 
april 2012 by jerryking
Recovering From a Late Setback - WSJ.com
May 27, 2003 | WSJ | By JOANN S. LUBLIN

The well-publicized announcement made it impossible for Mr. White to mourn in private. But the coverage started him on the road to recovery by bringing him advice from his wide personal and professional network. "There is important work in the world for a person of your ability and integrity," wrote Fred Alger, founder and CEO of Fred Alger Management. Mr. White has been a trustee for some of the New York money-management firm's funds since 1999...Mr. White decided not to blame others for his turndown nor let the episode diminish him in any way.

He demonstrated his resolve by trying to arrange a flawless transition. Among other things, he prepared extensive background materials, then briefed Ms. Coleman face-to-face in Iowa.

Mr. White brought his inner turmoil to a cathartic conclusion during a campus dinner to honor his interim leadership in July 2002. University regents and senior officials expected perfunctory remarks. Sensing a "teachable" moment, the veteran professor instead spoke candidly about his loss to an already uneasy crowd.

"It's no secret to anyone in this room that I'm disappointed not to be able to serve the university in the years ahead," Mr. White declared. He went on: "We can choose how to think about and react to disappointment. At the extremes, one line of thought leads to bitterness and a shriveled soul; the other leads to wisdom and growth." Mr. White said his own career disappointment had enabled him to challenge himself about "what will be my work, my contributions, my sources of satisfaction and self-esteem?" He got a standing ovation.
bouncing_back  Joann_S._Lublin  setbacks  Managing_Your_Career  inspiration  Wall_Street  Colleges_&_Universities  disappointment  affirmations  seminal_moments  career-defining_moments  emotional_mastery  mybestlife  teachable_moments 
march 2012 by jerryking
60 Stern Truths For Entrepreneurs
2004 Philip Stern @ pstern@sternthinking.com or 416.588.0000

* No one really cares like you care.
* Know strategy. Think strategy. Do strategy.
* Nourish your attitude.
* Your work is delivered with your mouth and your typing finger(s).
* Make enemies carefully.
* Respect fashion. Respect stupidity.
* Learn to converse. Learn to sell
* Sales and marketing are different skills and are rarely both mastered by one person.
* Ration your time.
* Assemble a small Board and listen to them!
* Don’t be smarter than the trends.
* Solutions must really solve an identifiable, painful problem. Build and sell solutions.
* Invest in validation.
* Design validation in. Respect the Chasm.
* Only lunatics attempt to create new categories.
* Always have sex before the big game and never have sex before the big game.
* Seek a segment that you can capture within a market that's big.
* Prepare for war. Competition and rivalry both have their place. Parlez vous "elevator speech"?
* Get serious. regular exercise.
* Compelling means COMPELLING!
* Cash is [insert name of favoured deity].
* Ask a few absolutely trustworthy friends to be regularly available and brutal. Document it. when relevant. get it signed.
* Build and maintain a sane filing system.
* Your lawyer will be delighted to run your business for S375/hr.
* Out of the room: out of the deal,
* Consistency is valuable: success is better.
* Do what you know.
* Drive people to perform: jointly set goals, invest time to track progress. and think like a coach. Revel in cheapness. Band-Aids are sometimes the right response. Brand it.”
* Pick a supportive partner.
* Rehearse. Rehearse. Rehearse.
* At minimum; Plans are nothing; planning is everything.
* However you can, link your ego to success. Underpromise (by a little) and overdeliver (by a little).
* Optimism is a great attitude but a counterproductive prediction device.
* Your Business Plan is about identifying and exploiting opportunity/ies.
* Highly successful people are often lousy advisors.
* Fix your substance abuse now. Learn to negotiate.
* Tell the hard truth in a clear but gentle way.
* Set limits.
* Set standards.
* Learn and practice structured interviewing when you hire.
* You can compensate for lack of focus by using immense force.
* Say thank-you. Human motivations are largely unconsciousness
* No one really cares like you care.
* Don't mortgage your home.
entrepreneurship  start_ups  small_business  tips  lessons_learned  affirmations  hard_truths  It's_up_to_me  new_categories  social_norms  rehearsals 
march 2012 by jerryking
7 Things Highly Productive People Do
Dec 13, 2011 | Inc.com |By Ilya Pozin. 

Work backwards from goals to milestones to tasks.
Stop multi-tasking
Be militant about eliminating distractions
Schedule your email
Use the phone
Work on your own agenda
Work in 60 to 90 minute intervals
affirmations  distractions  lifehacks  monotasking  productivity  thinking_backwards  tips  work-back_schedules 
december 2011 by jerryking
A guide to shaking off the doom and gloom
Nov. 9, 2011 | The Financial Times p10.|Luke Johnson
*Study history:
*Avoid the news
*Spend time with the young:
*Remain rational:
*Avoid pessimists:
*Read the stoics:
*Admit mistakes and move on:
*Keep busy:
*Get fit:
*Focus on small wins:
*Ignore events over which you have no control:
*Concentrate on your micro economy
*Laugh: psychologists know that humour is healthy.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
History gives us a sense of proportion, he says: “It’s an antidote to a lot of unfortunately human trends like self-importance and self-pity.”.....see history “as an aid to navigation in such troubled, uncertain times,”.....[David McCullough]
Luke_Johnson  economic_downturn  bouncing_back  resilience  small_wins  reading  history  affirmations  humour  fitness  exercise  personal_economy  Stoics  sense_of_proportion  quick_wins 
november 2011 by jerryking
7 Simple Steps to Extreme Personal Productivity
June 28, 2011 | BNET | By Jeff Haden
(1) Tell everyone your plan...Peer pressure can be a great
motivator. Use it.
(2) Decide how long you will work. Don’t plan based on, “I’ll work
as long as I can,” Set a concrete target. Commit to working X hrs.
(3) Start really early. Have you ever taken a long car trip and left
really early in the morning? Like at 3 a.m.? Those first few hours on
the road fly by because you’ve stepped outside your norm. The same
trick works with accomplishing a major goal.
(4) Withhold the fun, at least for a while... Delayed gratification
is always better gratification.
(5) Recharge early. Plan to eat or snack a little earlier than
normal.
(6) Take productive breaks, not rest breaks. Momentum is everything.
Don’t take a walk, or watch a little TV, or goof around on the
Internet.
(7) Don’t quit until you’re done — even if finishing takes longer
than expected. Stopping short is habit-forming.
Jeff_Haden  productivity  gtd  rules_of_the_game  goals  Managing_Your_Career  delayed_gratification  slack_time  peer_pressure  affirmations  early_risers 
june 2011 by jerryking
Zadie Smith's rules for writers | Books | guardian.co.uk
22 Feb. 2010 / guardian.co.uk/ Here are Zadie Smith's golden
rules for writing:
1 As a child, make sure you read a lot of books. Spend more time doing
this than anything else.
2 As an adult, try to read your own work as a stranger would read it,
better still, as an enemy would.
3 Don't romanticise your "vocation". You can either write good sentences
or you can't. What matters is what is left on the pg.
4 Avoid your weaknesses. But do this without dismissing the things you
don't excel at.
5 Leave a decent space of time between writing something and editing it.
6 Avoid cliques, gangs, groups. Crowds won't make your writing any
better than it is.
7 Work disconnected from the ­Web.
8 Protect the time and space in which you write. Keep everybody away
from it, even the people who are most important to you.
9 Don't confuse honours with achievement.
10 Tell the truth through whichever veil comes to hand – but tell it.
Accept the lifelong sadness that comes from never ­being satisfied.
writing  advice  writers  tips  reading  books  quotes  rules_of_the_game  affirmations  weaknesses  truth-telling  restlessness  dissatisfaction  golden_rules 
may 2011 by jerryking
What The Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast
Think. Strategic thinking time is incredibly important for seizing control of our lives. Spend 30 minutes in the morning pondering what you want to do with your time. You could also use this time to pray or read religious literature, to meditate or write in a journal. All of these will help you start the day in a much better place than if everyone's running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
early_risers  sense_of_control  time-management  ksfs  strategic_thinking  reflections  breakfasts  overachievers  priorities  affirmations  high-achieving 
may 2011 by jerryking
How to Succeed in the Age of Going Solo - WSJ.com
FEBRUARY 8, 2010 | Wall Street Journal | By RICHARD
GREENWALD. Anybody can become a consultant. But not everybody does it
well. Here's what you need to know to thrive. (1) Think Long Term.
think in terms of the long haul, preparing for a marathon, not a
sprint.; (2) Join a Network. successful consultants are in a network or
community of consultants. These networks are important sources of new
clients. ; (3) Have Your Own Space; (4) Think Like an Entrepreneur.
Don't drift from project to project. That's a mistake. Have a business
plan or mission statement.
Be known for the work that you do/ don't do. Organizing your business.
Use invoicing software to track billing, don`t mingle personal &
business finances, and keep good records for taxes or expenses. Think of
cash flows, future investments & downtime.
affirmations  howto  solo  freelancing  entrepreneurship  management_consulting  networking  jck  ksfs  long-term  cash_flows  downtime  long-haul 
september 2010 by jerryking
Corner Office - Tachi Yamada and the Importance of Undivided Attention - Question - NYTimes.com
Feb. 27, 2010 | NYT | Adam Bryant's interview of Tachi Yamada,
M.D., president of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation’s Global
Health Program.
* Don’t micromanage, but have microinterests.
* Every moment counts, be 100 % in the moment.
* Intelligence = complex abstract thinking = human relationships. Look
for people who’ve moved.
* Humour, is an underestimated and important value.
* Leadership, in order to connect with groups of people, requires giving
of yourself.
* Turn battleships by making directional commitments and staying the
course,
* In giving feedback, the positive messages get lost in the one negative
message, and the negative message gets garbled.
* Figure out what your North Star is.
* Be open to new challenges.
* If there are 10 tasks in an overall project, identify the most
critical task among those 10. What is the one thing that everything
else hinges on (i.e. the linchpin)? Invest time in understanding that one thing. Then,
if/when the problem occurs, it usually occurs there.
billgates  philanthropy  CEOs  linchpins  Managing_Your_Career  career  feedback  hiring  leadership  focus  slight_edge  rate-limiting_steps  affirmations  humour  commitments  priorities  bottlenecks  abstractions  moments  attention  North_Star  monotasking  mindfulness  living_in_the_moment 
march 2010 by jerryking
Time Management Strategies for Professionals with ADD, long post, print out - ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community
March 2, 2004 | Wall Street Journal | By Kris Maher. Plan
your workday the night before and come up with a list of items and the
order in which they need to be accomplished. This simple action can have
a powerful effect, says Mr. Wetmore, comparing most people's sense of
priorities to a pack of greyhounds put down on a racetrack and ready to
run off in any direction. The list, he says, acts like "that little
rabbit that forms the direction to go in."
time-management  strategies  productivity  preparation  lists  affirmations  priorities  timing  JCK 
february 2010 by jerryking
For Entrepreneurs, It’s All About Time
April 1, 2008 | NYTimes.com| By PAUL B. BROWN. Be more
productive within the existing 24 hrs. ¶Plan tomorrow today. Prioritize
and tackle the items on your list in order of their importance. ¶Do not
try to keep it in your head. Your mind is best used for the big picture
rather than all the details. ¶Sleep. ¶Take a speed reading class.¶Break
for lunch. Q: Where are the bulk of your revenues coming from? Are you
sure? When asked to explain their inability to manage their time, a
common reason people cite is “information overload.” Too much data to
keep up with. Dave Allen says," Too much information is not the problem.
If it were, we’d walk into a library and faint. Information overload
indicates we’re not managing our commitments effectively.” Implications
for JCK's clients & mission statement? “There are many ways to
avoid success in life, but the most sure-fire just might be
procrastination,”
small_business  entrepreneur  time-management  lunchtime  productivity  Pareto_Principle  information_overload  procrastination  JCK  GTD  inspiration  affirmations  sleep  priorities  commitments  David_Allen  the_big_picture 
february 2010 by jerryking
"The Hidden River of Knowledge"
May 21, 2007 | New York Times | Commencement address by David Brooks.

In short, things are about to change big time. And one of my messages today is that you know that uncertainty you feel today? It never goes away. The question is, do you know how to make uncertainty your friend?....here's one other thing I've noticed that separates the really great people from the merely famous ones. They talk to dead people.

Merely famous people have pictures of themselves on the wall. Really great people have pictures of dead people on the wall, and on their desks. It's one of the first things I look for when I go into somebody's office...And they talk about these dead people....
The dead were alive to them, and looking over their shoulder....The Greeks used to say we suffer our way to wisdom...Success is not something that we do or that happens to us. Success is something that happens through us....We inherit, starting even before we are born, a great river of knowledge, a great flow from many ages and many sources. The information that comes from millions of years ago, we call brain chemistry. The information that comes from hundreds of thousands of years ago from our hunter and gatherer ancestors we call genes. The information that was handed down thousands of years ago we call religion. The information passed along hundreds of years ago we call culture. The information passed along from decades ago we call family. The information you absorbed over the past few years at Wake Forest we call education....We exist as creatures within this hidden river of knowledge the way a trout exists in a stream or a river. We are formed by the river. It is the medium in which we live and the guide about how to live.

The great people I've seen talking to the dead do so because they want to connect with the highest and most inspiring parts of the river. When people make mistakes, often it is not because they are evil. It's because they don't have an ideal to live up to.

These great people also talk to the dead because they want a voice from outside their selves....the best people I've met don't feel that smart or that special. They have powerful jobs, but they don't feel powerful. They don't feel like architects building these great projects from scratch. They feel instead like river boat captains negotiating the currents around them.

They want to step outside their egotism and understand the river of events. They want to feel how people in the past have negotiated its channels. They want other voices in their heads so they can possess the ultimate power, which is the power of facing unpleasant truths.

Finally, I think they talk to the dead because they want to widen their time horizons....Think hard about who you marry. It's the most important decision you will ever make. Devote yourself to your kids. Nothing else is guaranteed to make you happy. The only thing I'd add is, create a posse of dead people. Create an entourage of heroes. Put their pictures on your wall, and keep them in your mind.

They will remind you of your place in the hidden river of wisdom. They'll serve as models. They'll give you an honest perspective on how you're doing. They'll remind you that your blessings don't come from you but from those who came before you.
advice  affirmations  ancestry  blog  brain_chemistry  career  cognitive_skills  commencement  culture  cultural_transmission  David_Brooks  education  family  genes  Greek  hidden  happiness  heroes  humility  hunter-gatherers  ideas  inspiration  Managing_Your_Career  marriage  perspectives  role_models  sense_of_proportion  speeches  success  suffering  the_counsel_of_the_dead  time_horizons  transcendental  uncertainty  Wake_Forest  wide-framing  wisdom 
november 2009 by jerryking
Dumped, But Not Down
Jul/Aug 2007 | Psychology Today | by Carlin Flora

Rejection is a fundamental law of the (social) universe. But if you
laser in on every dis, you'll likely trigger a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rejection-sensitivity is on the rise, but you can learn to brave even
the biggest brush-offs.
rejections  resilience  bouncing_back  relationships  overthinking  psychology  affirmations  self-defeating  self-fulfilling 
april 2009 by jerryking
If at First You Don't Succeed, You're in Excellent Company - WSJ.com
April 29, 2008 WSJ article by Melinda Beck about
"self-efficacy" that allows some people to rebound from defeats and go
onto greatness while others throw int he towel.

Self-efficacy differs from self-esteem in that it's a judgment of specific capabilities rather than a general feeling of self-worth. "It's easy to have high self-esteem -- just aim low," says Prof. Bandura, who is still teaching at Stanford at age 82. On the other hand, he notes, there are people with high self-efficacy who "drive themselves hard but have low self-esteem because their performance always falls short of their high standards."

Still, such people succeed because they believe that persistent effort will let them succeed. In fact, if success comes too easily, some people never master the ability to learn from criticism. "People need to learn how to manage failure so it's informational and not demoralizing,".....In technology, rejection is the rule rather than the exception, Prof. Bandura says. He points out that one of the original Warner Brothers said of sound films, "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak were rebuffed by Atari Inc. and Hewlett-Packard Co. when they tried to sell an early Apple computer. And sometimes genius itself needs time. It took Thomas Edison 1,000 tries before he invented the light bulb. ("I didn't fail 1,000 times," he told a reporter. "The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.")...Where does such determination come from? In some cases it's inborn optimism -- akin to the kind of resilience that enables some children to emerge unscathed from extreme poverty, tragedy or abuse. Self-efficacy can also be acquired by mastering a task; by modeling the behavior of others who have succeeded; and from what Prof. Bandura calls "verbal persuasion" -- getting effective encouragement that is tied to achievement, rather than empty praise..... "You can develop a resilient mindset at any age," says Robert Brooks, a Harvard Medical School psychologist who has studied resilience for decades. One key, he says, is to avoid self-defeating assumptions. If you are fired or dumped by a girlfriend, don't magnify the rejection and assume you'll never get another job or another date. (Maintaining perspective can be tough in the face of sweeping criticism, though. A teacher said of young G.K. Chesteron, who went on to become a renowned British author, that if his head were opened "we should not find any brain but only a lump of white fat.")

And don't allow a rejection to derail your dreams. "One of the greatest impediments to life is the fear of humiliation," says Prof. Brooks, who says he's worked with people who have spent the last 30 years of their lives not taking any risks or challenges because they are afraid of making mistakes.
resilience  optimism  inspiration  risk-taking  bouncing_back  Melinda_Beck  perseverance  self-efficacy  self-esteem  self-worth  persistence  humiliation  rejections  sense_of_proportion  personal_standards  affirmations  grit  Thomas_Edison  self-defeating 
january 2009 by jerryking

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