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jerryking : constructive_criticism   13

Relax
1. Develop your own personal operating system. Carve out and define your own reality, philosophy, values, and interests rather than automatically accepting those of your family, peers, religion, or culture.

2. Begin to let go of the need for validation. Don’t be motivated by the opinions or others or the desire for recognition. Be driven by what is important to you and what you value.

3. Trust your instincts and allow for experimentation. Get to know yourself and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have to fail a few times.
4. Accept others as they are. Begin letting go of judgments and criticism of others. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself.

5. Really hear people. Go beyond just listening and understanding. Let people know that you really get them.

6. Take care of unresolved matters in your life. Restore your integrity. Forgive and ask for forgiveness where necessary. Reclaim the energy you have given to these matters.

7. Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Get some form of exercise daily. Eat healthy foods that support your body, not your emotions. Do this because you respect yourself, not to impress others.

8. Cause things to happen. Don’t wait for them. Be a creator, an instigator, a collaborator. Share your enthusiasm.

9. Show people you care. Don’t just talk about it. Show them in ways that are meaningful to them, not you.

10. Require the best of people. See them not only for who they are, but who they can be. Lovingly reflect that vision to them.

11. Ensure your own needs are met. Discern your primary needs, and communicate fully what is important and valuable to you in your relationships. Don’t compromise these to keep peace or hang on.

12. Speak constructively. Use your words to uplift, inspire, motivate, and encourage. Don’t offer “constructive criticism” or subtle digs.

13. Laugh easily. Have a lightness about you. Take life less seriously and choose to find and create fun and joy.

14. Cease gossip. Choose not to talk about others in ways that are openly or subtlety critical. Don’t share information for the feeling of power or intrigue.

15. Make requests, not complaints. If you need something from someone, ask for it directly. Don’t whine or complain to them or others.

16. Handle situations fully. Kindly but clearly deal with negative issues as soon as possible. Don’t tolerate anything if it causes resentments.

17. Be done with arguments. Smile and walk away until healthy communication is possible.

18. Offer help only when asked. Don’t assume that others want you to fix them or that you know best for them. Be available and give help only when asked.

19. Care deeply, but remain detached. Let others know you care deeply about them when they have problems, but don’t get caught up in their problems.

20. See with your heart, not your eyes. Look beyond superficiality when seeing someone. Financial status, appearance, notoriety, all mean nothing. Look for the authentic person inside.

21. Don’t say yes when you mean no. If you mean no, your yes will be harnessed with resentment. Say yes only when your yes is given freely.

22. Let others know you are grateful. Tell them and show them that you feel blessed to have them in your life.

23. Never play the guilt card. Don’t try to manipulate or hurt someone by trying to make them feel bad about their choices, decisions, or actions.

24. Give more than is expected. Don’t over-commit, but freely give more than you promise.

25. Be inter-developmental in your relationships. Don’t be controlling, dependent or co-dependent. Create relationships that are mutually uplifting, reward, and satisfying.

26. Be a big person. Don’t try to take credit, diminish others, or hold back on praise. Offer acknowledgment and power when it is needed and deserved.

27. Be confident enough to be humble. Be able to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your flaws and failures, and accept that they don’t define you.

28. Be open to learning. Don’t flaunt your intelligence or superior knowledge. Recognize that there is always something to learn, even from those who appear “less than.”

29. Be more engaged than engaging. Show your sincere interest in others. Use the word “you” more than “I.” Listen intently and reflect back to others who they are.

30. Give gifts that others want. Not just gifts to impress or that are important to you.

31. Challenge yourself constantly. Don’t settle for mediocre. Don’t languish in past accomplishments. Keep moving forward and exude enthusiasm about possibilities and the actions to make them happen.

32. Detach from adrenaline. Simplify your life enough so you are not rushed, stressed, cluttered, or distracted. Allow yourself time and room to focus.

33. Embrace the incredible power of now. Nothing is more valuable than this moment. Make it the best moment you possibly can right now.

34. Don’t fight the flow. Don’t struggle against people or situations you can’t control. Move effortlessly in a different direction.

35. Keep evolving. Stay on a path of self-improvement and stay alert for opportunities for shifts and growth.
motivations  inspiration  strengths  affirmations  personal_growth  self-improvement  immediacy  simplicity  focus  movingonup  gift_ideas  listening  continuous_learning  humility  praise  relationships  overdeliver  gratitude  sincerity  authenticity  self-awareness  constructive_criticism  foregiveness  values  self-starters  healthy_lifestyles  gossip  self-analysis  self-assessment  self-satisfaction  complacency  personal_energy  span_of_control  disconnecting  rainmaking  individual_initiative  beyond_one's_control  next_play  walking_away 
august 2014 by jerryking
Great Thoughts, and Woolly Ones - WSJ.com
Nov. 7, 2002 | WSJ | By Mark Miller.

The 19th-century essayist Walter Bagehot took a contrarian's view of high culture. "The essence of civilization," he wrote, "is dullness." Indeed, civilization is "only an elaborate invention . . . for abolishing the fierce passions, the unchastened enjoyments . . . the excitements of a barbarous age, and to substitute for them indoor pleasures, placid feelings, and rational amusements."

As an advertisement for the pleasures of the mind, Bagehot's judgment may not be likely to win many converts, but it suggests why we still need that somewhat outdated life form known as the critic. Mere reviewers can keep the arts (and book) pages supplied with copy. But they can have little effect on the quality of our minds or our culture, as a trip to any neighborhood multiplex will make clear. We rely on the true critic to cultivate our intelligence, refine our tastes and show us the way to higher pleasures.
art_reviews  constructive_criticism  criticism  review  Walter_Bagehot  curation 
december 2013 by jerryking
How to Review a Manuscript: A "Down-to-Earth" Approach
June 2004 | Academic Psychiatry | Laura Weiss Roberts, M.D.,
M.A., John Coverdale, M.D., F.R.A.N.Z.C.P., Kristin Edenharder, B.A. and
Alan Louie, M.D
howto  book_reviews  criticism  review  constructive_criticism 
september 2010 by jerryking
Beyond Mintzberg
March 2, 2010 | Financial Post Magazine | by Mark Anderson.
Managers Are Made, Not Born. But Can An MBA Program Teach A Person To
Be A Good One? That Debate Will Probably Never Be Resolved. But It
Drives The Evolution Of Management Education
business_schools  criticism  MBAs  constructive_criticism 
march 2010 by jerryking
MENTORING: CORRECTING NEGATIVES
Monday, October 5, 2009 | The Globe & Mail | HARVEY
SCHACHTER. In The Elements of Mentoring, psychology professors W. Brad
Johnson and Charles Ridley stress that no one is perfect and even the
sharpest protégé can benefit from constructive criticism. "Failing to
offer correction when it is needed is a disservice to the protégé," they
note. So address subpar performance, failure to be attentive to
details, ethical lapses, and even bad work habits that threaten health.
But the authors urge you to vary your style according to the length of
time of the relationship.
mentoring  Harvey_Schachter  constructive_criticism  protégés 
october 2009 by jerryking
TV Sports Commentary and How to Fix It - WSJ.com
SEPTEMBER 26, 2009 | Wall Street Journal | By SKIP ROZIN.
Sports talk should reveal the secret world of athletes and not bore
viewers with the obvious. Since television gives us all the action,
commentators are most valuable when they provide information that fans
cannot discern for themselves. We want more than a tedious dissection of
the previous play, canned facts from press releases or trivia about an
athlete's childhood. Television commentary should open the door to the
secrets from which fans are usually barred. If it can't do more than
tell me what's on the screen, shut it down and let viewers enjoy the
pretty color pictures.
sports  television  Communicating_&_Connecting  interpretative  commentators  criticism  constructive_criticism  sportscasting  athletes_&_athletics 
september 2009 by jerryking
How to Handle Rejection
Jul/Aug 2007 | Psychology Today| By Carlin Flora

How to find the positive in a pink slip or critical words. Rejection can help you reinvent yourself.
Fired Up: What Happens if You Get Canned by Woody Allen?
The Good Critique: It's an art form that everyone needs.
7 Reality Checks
rejections  howto  bouncing_back  psychology  reinvention  constructive_criticism  overthinking  life_skills 
april 2009 by jerryking

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