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jerryking : delayed_gratification   17

20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit
SEP 7, 2016 | Inc.com | By Matthew Jones.

1. You're going to die and you have no idea when.
Stop pretending that you're invincible. Acknowledge the fact of your own mortality, and then start structuring your life in a more meaningful way.

2. Everyone you love is going to die, and you don't know when.
This truth may be saddening at first, but it also gives you permission to make amends with past difficulties and re-establish meaningful relationships with important figures in your life.

3. Your material wealth won't make you a better or happier person.
Even if you're one of the lucky ones who achieves his or her materialistic dreams, money only amplifies that which was already present.

4. Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.
Happiness is always present in your life--it's just a matter of connecting to it and allowing it to flow through you that's challenging.

5. Donating money does less than donating time.
Giving your time is a way to change your perception and create a memory for yourself and others that will last forever.

6. You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself.
Stop trying to please, and start respecting your values, principles, and autonomy.

7. You can't be perfect, and holding yourself to unrealistic standards creates suffering.
Many perfectionists have unrelenting inner critics that are full of so much rage and self-hate that it tears them apart inside. Fight back against that negative voice, amplify your intuition, and start challenging your unrealistic standards.

8. Your thoughts are less important than your feelings and your feelings need acknowledgment.
Intellectually thinking through your problems isn't as helpful as expressing the feelings that create your difficulties in the first place.

9. Your actions speak louder than your words, so you need to hold yourself accountable.
Be responsible and take actions that increase positivity and love.

10. Your achievements and successes won't matter on your death bed.
When your time has come to transition from this reality, you won't be thinking about that raise; you'll be thinking about the relationships you've made--so start acting accordingly.

11. Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.
Some of the most talented people in the world never move out from their parent's basement.

12. Now is the only time that matters, so stop wasting it by ruminating on the past or planning the future.
You can't control the past, and you can't predict the future, and trying to do so only removes you from the one thing you can control--the present.

13. Nobody cares how difficult your life is, and you are the author of your life's story.
Stop looking for people to give you sympathy and start creating the life story you want to read.

14. Your words are more important than your thoughts, so start inspiring people.
Words have the power to oppress, hurt, and shame, but they also have the power to liberate and inspire--start using them more wisely.

15. Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's the most worthwhile thing you can do.
You have to put on your own gas mask to save the person sitting right next to you.

16. It's not what happens, it's how you react that matters.
Train yourself to respond in a way that leads to better outcomes.

17. You need to improve your relationships to have lasting happiness.
Relationships have a greater impact on your wellbeing and happiness than your income or your occupation, so make sure you give your relationship the attention and work it deserves.

18. Pleasure is temporary and fleeting, so stop chasing fireworks and start building a constellation. Don't settle for an ego boost right now when you can delay gratification and experience deeper fulfillment.

19. Your ambition means nothing without execution--it's time to put in the work.
If you want to change the world, then go out there and do it!

20. Time is your most valuable asset--you need to prioritize how you spend it.
accountability  affirmations  autonomy  consistency  delayed_gratification  efforts  emotional_mastery  execution  good_enough  gut_feelings  happiness  hard_truths  invest_in_yourself  living_in_the_moment  mindfulness  mortality  mybestlife  no_sob_stories  practice  principles  priorities  relationships  serving_others  truth-telling  values  volunteering 
november 2019 by jerryking
Five unpopular personal finance truths
November 15, 2017 | The Globe and Mail | by RYAN MODESTO SPECIAL TO THE GLOBE AND MAIL.

* You need to invest!!!! This element gets overlooked--Saving alone won't cut it. If saving is the workhorse to get you somewhere, investing is at least the reins that help to steer you to your destination. .... Investing is only going to become more important as pensions get leaner and less prominent and living costs rise while wages stay stagnant. Investing those savings is how one can bridge the gap. So if you are saving money, give yourself a pat on the back, but don't stop there – you are only part of the way through the journey.

* You need to be able to save. Spending is fun; saving usually less so. The issue is one of delayed gratification. really is the crux of why people prefer to spend today than save for tomorrow.... trim unnecessary costs....and remember the power of compound interest.

* Personal finance is not fun (for most). Personal finance is boring....even a daunting topic.

* Personal finance is rarely black and white.....Different financial strategies work for different people. ...While the numbers can offer a guideline, the answers to personal finance questions are rarely black and white....The second part of this is the willingness to save, which is more psychological. You need to be both willing and able to save money to be able to help yourself in the first place. There are no silver bullets when it comes to finance. At the end of the day, you need to be willing and able to save money for anything else to matter.

* You have to treat yourself. At the end of the day, we make money so we can provide for those who rely on us, live a particular lifestyle and hopefully have a bit of fun. .... Personal finances are a life-long grind, and as long as the little things stay under control, they are not going to be what makes the difference in 80 years..... you can't take the money with you, so you have to spend some of it....But just some of it.
* A sixth rule might be: Don't blame "the world" for being not able to save. Look at what you are currently spending money on and think about whether you actually "need" to (vs "want") and also if there is any way to change to something that is less expensive.
* A seventh rule: Plan for financial shocks/emergencies. Keep some money in the bank (and invest it in something, of course) so if your car breaks down or you get laid off, you can keep the wolf from the door for at least a couple of months.
* An eight rule: If you go out shopping to 'cheer yourself up', stop doing it.
* A ninth rule : Just because a bank offers to give you tons of money doesn't mean it is a good idea for you to take it.
personal_finance  financial_literacy  investing  delayed_gratification  boring  personal_savings_rate  financial_shocks  emergencies 
november 2017 by jerryking
Black Americans Need Bourgeois Norms - WSJ
By Robert L. Woodson
Oct. 11, 2017

This summer, law professors Amy Wax and Larry Alexander caused a stir with an op-ed lamenting the decline of what they called “bourgeois norms.” “All cultures are not equal,” they rightly observed. Those that encourage self-restraint, delayed gratification, marriage and a strong work ethic tend to thrive. Those that tolerate or excuse substance abuse, out-of-wedlock pregnancy and dropping out tend to break down.

Ms. Wax and Mr. Alexander were instantly accused of racism by the growing army of angry academics who police the prevailing narrative of black victimhood. According to this narrative, black progress is determined not by personal choices and individual behavior, but by white supremacy, America’s history of slavery and discrimination, and institutional racism. Touting “bourgeois values” is interpreted as an offense against authentic black culture.......A better life has always been available to those who reject undisciplined and irresponsible behavior, and embrace self-determination and personal responsibility. So-called bourgeois values have always empowered blacks to persevere and overcome bitter oppression. They provided the moral “glue” that held the black community together during the hardest of times.
moral_codes  Amy_Wax  Frederick_Douglass  values  victimhood  African-Americans  self-restraint  delayed_gratification  marriage  work_ethic  personal_responsibility  societal_norms  authenticity  bourgeois  cultural_norms  cultural_values  hard_times 
october 2017 by jerryking
The young person's guide to extreme success: What I wish I had known when I was 20 - YouTube
Your life is nothing more than a series of choices....you are the compilation of your choices!!
Rule #1: Think carefully about relationships and children.
Rule #2: Learn how to start a business, just in case.
Rule #3: Always think like an investor in every part of your life (investing--Sun Tzu "The battle is won before it begins"; invest your time like its money, learn how to ignore the world when necessary, 1, 3, 5, 10 yr. goals--figure out what you need to do that day, schedule how you will use your time each day)
Rule #4: Educated geeks are now running the world (educational mediocrity is unacceptable); (listen to everybody, stop talking so damn much).
Ruel #5: Protect your mental and physical health [(exercise, keep losers away from the things you value (i.e. mind, body, spirit, family, time, business)] Be miserly with my time.
Rule #6: Stop being normal!!
advice  preparation  life_skills  relationships  parenting  conflict_resolution  Sun_Tzu  owners  self-education  exercise  positive_thinking  affirmations  time-management  Pablo_Picasso  geeks  delayed_gratification  Boyce_Watkins  choices 
september 2017 by jerryking
What Does It Take to Climb Up the Ladder? - The New York Times
Thomas B. Edsall MARCH 23, 2017

What drives success? Cognitive skills are important, but so are harder-to-measure strengths that fall under the heading of what is sometimes called character......In a 2014 paper, “The Character Factor: Measures and Impact of Drive and Prudence,” Richard Reeves of the Brookings Institution, and two co-authors, Kimberly Howard and Joanna Venator, focus on what they call “performance character strengths” and the crucial role played by noncognitive skills in educational attainment, employment and earned income. These character strengths — “perseverance, industriousness, grit, resilience, curiosity, application” and “self-control, future orientation, self-discipline, impulse control, delay of gratification” — make significant contributions to success in adulthood and upward mobility.

As the accompanying chart demonstrates, upper-income kids perform well on tests of noncognitive skills, but there are substantial numbers of low-income children who do well also.
movingonup  social_mobility  perseverance  industriousness  grit  resilience  curiosity  hard_work  self-control  forward_looking  self-discipline  impulse_control  delayed_gratification  character_traits  up-and-comers 
march 2017 by jerryking
World’s largest asset manager rails against companies’ short-term thinking - The Globe and Mail
BOYD ERMAN
The Globe and Mail
Published Friday, May. 23 2014,

...Mr. Fink is worried that the great tide of economic growth is not rising as quickly as it could be because of persistent and pernicious short-term thinking. Everyone from Main Street to Wall Street to Pennsylvania Avenue is too focused on near-term waves to pay attention to what the overall water level is doing.

Blogs, polls, the story of the moment – that is what drives peoples’ thinking, he says. That means investment decisions and political moves are based on what’s happening now, and not long-term goals. The economy will bear the cost of this short-term obsession, and so will investors, Mr. Fink warns. He would like to see big changes in everything from accounting to corporate governance to government spending priorities, to reset the focus on more distant horizons....“We need executives in business to start focusing on what is right in the long run,” ...“Societies are having a hard time, politically and economically, adjusting to the immediacy of information: The 24/7 news cycle, blogs, the instantaneous information. It’s very hard. This is one of the things where we are developing a crisis.”...Mr. Fink is particularly frustrated with the lionization of activist investors in the media. Think Bill Ackman, Carl Icahn and others who push for changes that will lead to an immediate runup in the stock price,....Similarly, he is critical of accounting rules that push insurance companies to invest in shorter-term assets, rather than long-term projects such as infrastructure. “Everything is leading toward an underinvestment in infrastructure and an underinvestment in capital expenditures.”...In 1999, the company went public. It has grown incredibly fast ever since. It manages money for everyone from retail investors to pension plans. During the financial crisis, the U.S. Treasury hired BlackRock to run assets in the Troubled Asset Relief Program, and the Bank of Greece hired the company to help fix the country’s banking system. (Model for WaudWare?)
BlackRock  Laurence_Fink  asset_management  long-term  Boyd_Erman  Wall_Street  delayed_gratification  thinking  strategic_thinking  Communicating_&_Connecting  CEOs  money_management  shareholder_activism  immediacy  insurance  infrastructure  CAPEX  short-term  short-term_thinking  financial_pornography  pension_funds  underinvestments  noise  pay_attention 
may 2014 by jerryking
What Drives Success? - NYTimes.com
JAN. 25, 2014 | NYT | By AMY CHUA and JED RUBENFELD.

the strikingly successful groups in America today share three traits that, together, propel success. The first is a superiority complex — a deep-seated belief in their exceptionality. The second appears to be the opposite — insecurity, a feeling that you or what you’ve done is not good enough. The third is impulse control.

Any individual, from any background, can have what we call this Triple Package of traits. But research shows that some groups are instilling them more frequently than others, and that they are enjoying greater success.

It’s odd to think of people feeling simultaneously superior and insecure. Yet it’s precisely this unstable combination that generates drive: a chip on the shoulder, a goading need to prove oneself. Add impulse control — the ability to resist temptation — and the result is people who systematically sacrifice present gratification in pursuit of future attainment.

Ironically, each element of the Triple Package violates a core tenet of contemporary American thinking....The same factors that cause poverty — discrimination, prejudice, shrinking opportunity — can sap from a group the cultural forces that propel success. Once that happens, poverty becomes more entrenched. In these circumstances, it takes much more grit, more drive and perhaps a more exceptional individual to break out.
brainpower  willpower  poverty  movingonup  Amy_Chua  Mormons  ethnic_communities  immigrants  ksfs  self-discipline  perseverance  achievement_gaps  paranoia  Sonia_Sotomayor  overachievers  sacrifice  delayed_gratification  impulse_control  insecurity  exceptionality  superiority_complex  dual-consciousness  cultural_values  hardships 
january 2014 by jerryking
Six habits of successful digital firms - The Globe and Mail
Jan. 07 2014, The Globe and Mail HARVEY SCHACHTER

Strategic Digital Marketing
By Eric Greenberg and Alexander Kates
(McGraw-Hill Education, 352 pages, $31.95).

the Amazon Price Check app on their mobile device, they can be in a store and, by scanning the bar code, see whether that item can be obtained more cheaply from Amazon, which offers lures like free shipping.......a phrase Google uses, "Zero moments of truth," to describe the critical times when consumers use the Internet to evaluate your offering. It might be the Amazon Price Check. It might be a consumer visiting your website and then plugging into social feedback from Facebook and Twitter. Prospects might scan reviews by recent purchasers. This information can be accessed quickly and could determine whether they will deal with you – now, or forever...... little attention is paid to return on investment when digital marketing strategies are developed. They believe that less than 10 per cent of large organizations base their digital initiatives on some measure of financial return on investment (ROI). Instead, the talk is of "likes" that might be generated by a Facebook campaign, or the followers and awareness a Twitter initiative might spark.

"If increasing sales is the ultimate goal, shouldn't we always evaluate digital marketing, and all marketing for that matter, through an ROI lens?"

1. Platform convergence, not product conformity. Companies such as Google, Amazon and Facebook are knocking heads, not operating in the separate niches where they started, but fighting to be the go-to platforms for online denizens.
2. Big data, not blind deductions.These companies rely heavily on data to drive their decisions, rather than guessing. They also run tests to see what might work, learning early from interaction with real customers.
3. Customer experiences, not conventional expectations. The best companies are fiercely focused on customers, relentlessly looking for new ways to refine and improve the customer experience.
4. Networks, not bulwarks.
These firms understand the importance of their networks, such as customers and corporate partners.
5. Top talent, not hired hands. These companies realize the importance of talent, and actively seek the best people they can find.
6. Innovation, not immediate gratification
Amazon  books  conformity  customer_experience  data_driven  delayed_gratification  digital_economy  digital_strategies  FAANG  Facebook  Google  Harvey_Schachter  habits  innovation  marketing  massive_data_sets  mobile_applications  moments_of_truth  networks  platforms  ROI  talent 
january 2014 by jerryking
Victorian values for the 21st century - The Globe and Mail
Margaret Wente

The Globe and Mail

Published Saturday, Oct. 05 2013

the real keys to success are far more old-fashioned – Victorian, even. They are self-regulation, conscientiousness and diligence. More than ever, perhaps, 21st-century success will require 19th-century values.....The trouble is that cultivating 19th-century habits in the 21st century isn’t easy. In Victorian times, self-regulation was reinforced by many kinds of external pressure, including social norms, religion, family and Queen. The consequences of lapsing from the straight and narrow – social disgrace, even ruin – could be severe. Today, you’re far more reliant on yourself to stay the course, and nobody else much cares if you don’t.....Daniel Akst argues in Temptation: Finding Self-Control in an Age of Excess, modern life requires an unnatural degree of self-control. ... in an age of super-affluence, it’s a constant struggle to keep our appetites in check. “It’s not that we have less willpower than we used to,” he writes, “but rather that modern life immerses us daily in a set of temptations far more evolved than we are.”

Self-discipline and high IQ often go together. But they are not the same. As Mr. Akst reports, self-discipline is a far better predictor of university grades than either IQ or SAT scores. ...many of America’s children have trouble making choices that require them to sacrifice short-term pleasure for long-term gain.”
21st._century  achievement_gaps  gender_gap  IQ  values  books  self-control  self-discipline  Tyler_Cowen  Victorian  willpower  temptations  delayed_gratification  self-regulation  proclivities 
october 2013 by jerryking
What fatal flaw led us so deeply into debt?
October 18, 1997 | Globe & Mail | William Thorsell.

The Unheavenly City by Edward Banfield.

Wisdom has three practical dimensions (with intuition providing a fourth for the truly sage person). The first part of wisdom is knowledge, the second is context based on experience, the third is a long perspective on time......the more forward-looking you are, the higher your social class is. People who live a great deal of their intellectual life in the future derive two great advantages over those who do not: They avoid predictable damage to their interests, and they exploit opportunities that might otherwise be lost to others.

This requires a high tolerance for delayed gratification.

In his engaging book, Future Perfect, Stanley Davis argues that most people are stuck managing the results of things that have already happened....the aftermath. Great leaders manage what has not yet happened....the beforemath. "People who take out life insurance and have home mortgages are managing the beforemath...they are managing the consequences of events that have not yet taken place."
William_Thorsell  books  instant_gratification  delayed_gratification  sophisticated  social_classes  debt  debt_crisis  wisdom  long-term  intuition  far-sightedness  beforemath  anticipating  contextual  forward_looking  foresight  aftermath 
july 2013 by jerryking
Carpe Diem Nation - NYTimes.com
February 11, 2013 | NYT | By DAVID BROOKS.

Europeans who settled America gave their lives a slingshot shape. They pulled back so they could shoot forward. They volunteered to live in harsh conditions today so their descendants could live well for centuries. The pioneers who traveled West did the same thing. So has each generation of immigrants — sacrificing the present for the sake of the future.

This slingshot manner of life led to one of those true national clichés:..This future-oriented mentality had practical effects. For decades, government invested heavily in long-range projects like railroads and canals...Today, Americans have inverted this way of thinking. Instead of sacrificing the present for the sake of the future, Americans now sacrifice the future for the sake of the present...Why have Americans lost their devotion to the future? Part of the answer must be cultural. The Great Depression and World War II forced Americans to live with 16 straight years of scarcity. In the years after the war, people decided they’d had enough. There was what one historian called a “renunciation of renunciation.” We’ve now had a few generations raised with this consumption mind-set. There’s less of a sense that life is a partnership among the dead, the living and the unborn, with obligations to those to come....If the president were to propose an agenda for the future, he’d double spending on the National Institutes of Health. He’d approve the Keystone XL pipeline. He’d cut corporate tax rates while adding a progressive consumption tax. He’d take money from Social Security and build Harlem Children’s Zone-type projects across the nation. He’d means test Medicare and use the money to revive state universities and pay down debt.
David_Brooks  future  Obama  Great_Depression  WWII  instant_gratification  intergenerational_rivalry  delayed_gratification  foresight  far-sightedness  forward_looking  sacrifice  Keystone_XL  long-term  social_trust  consumption  the_Greatest_Generation  Carpe_diem  long-range  railroads  canals 
february 2013 by jerryking
Elect your local hypocrite
June 12, 2004 | G&M | Doug Saunders.

Hypocrisy now has the backing of science. Keith Stanovich, a cognitive scientist at the University of Toronto, has built a strong scientific case in defence of hypocn'sy

Mr. Stanovich, in his fascinating book The Robot's Rebellion, defines hypocrisy as the collision of first-order and second-order thought. First-order thought consists of the basic, animal desires promoted by our genes — reproduction, self-preservation, mate-finding, nest-building, self-aggrandizement and personal defence

People whose thoughts are mostly first-order are known as wantons: Their personal desires and aspirations are their only goals, and their principles consist of remaking the world to suit those goals People who vote for right-wing parties entirely because they want to pay less tax are wantons. So are people who vote for left-wing parties just because they want their organizations to get more grants.

Second-order thought looks beyond personal needs into rational calculations of larger principles and goals: If I give up this desire right now, it says, we all could be better off. It is higher, more principled intelligence. It constantly battles with our first-order desires, tending to require an even higher order of thought to reconcile those collisions. in Mr. Stanovich's system, the people who engage in this kind of thinking are known as strong evaluators.
Hypocrisy is a product of strong evaluation.
Doug_Saunders  decision_making  politics  hypocrisy  thinking  political_expediency  instant_gratification  delayed_gratification  wisdom  books  first-order  second-order  tradeoffs  self-preservation  mate-finding  nest-building  self-aggrandizement 
september 2012 by jerryking
7 Simple Steps to Extreme Personal Productivity
June 28, 2011 | BNET | By Jeff Haden
(1) Tell everyone your plan...Peer pressure can be a great
motivator. Use it.
(2) Decide how long you will work. Don’t plan based on, “I’ll work
as long as I can,” Set a concrete target. Commit to working X hrs.
(3) Start really early. Have you ever taken a long car trip and left
really early in the morning? Like at 3 a.m.? Those first few hours on
the road fly by because you’ve stepped outside your norm. The same
trick works with accomplishing a major goal.
(4) Withhold the fun, at least for a while... Delayed gratification
is always better gratification.
(5) Recharge early. Plan to eat or snack a little earlier than
normal.
(6) Take productive breaks, not rest breaks. Momentum is everything.
Don’t take a walk, or watch a little TV, or goof around on the
Internet.
(7) Don’t quit until you’re done — even if finishing takes longer
than expected. Stopping short is habit-forming.
Jeff_Haden  productivity  gtd  rules_of_the_game  goals  Managing_Your_Career  delayed_gratification  slack_time  peer_pressure  affirmations  early_risers 
june 2011 by jerryking
Breaking the Silence - Op-Ed - NYTimes.com
Aug. 1, 2004 | New York Times | By HENRY LOUIS GATES JR. Why
has it been so difficult for black leaders to say such things in
public, without being pilloried for ''blaming the victim''? Why the huge
flap over Bill Cosby's insistence that black teenagers do their
homework, stay in school, master standard English and stop having
babies?...Yet in too many black neighborhoods today, academic
achievement has actually come to be stigmatized. ...Making it, as Mr.
Obama told me, ''requires diligent effort and deferred gratification.
Everybody sitting around their kitchen table knows that.''...the causes
of black poverty are both structural and behavioral. Think of structural
causes as ''the devil made me do it,'' and behavioral causes as ''the
devil is in me.'' Structural causes are faceless systemic forces, like
the disappearance of jobs. Behavioral causes are self-destructive life
choices and personal habits. To break the conspiracy of silence, we have
to address both of these factors.
African-Americans  Henry_Louis_Gates  silence  Obama  self-destructive  anti-intellectualism  poverty  values  Bill_Cosby  delayed_gratification  structural_change  academic_achievement 
september 2010 by jerryking
Who Creates the Wealth in Society? - NYTimes.com
May 21, 2010 | New York Times | By UWE E. REINHARDT. From the
comments "Wealth creation requires a set of legal principles and a legal
framework that protect individuals and their property rights. The "who"
is this respect is well-functioning, independent and non-courrupt
judicial system that is able to enforce such rights. This is where
government plays its most significant and valid role; however, in terms
of the size of government in the economy it is hardly
measurable."..."Here, I think he has overlooked the most simple and
fundamental truth about the creation of individual or societal wealth:

Real wealth is created by individuals and societies who are willing to
postpone immediate gratification for longer-term benefit. If everything
produced is immediately consumed, no net wealth is created. If, instead,
more is produced than consumed, not only is wealth created, but so is
the capital needed for future wealth appreciation."
value_creation  wealth_creation  government  delayed_gratification  rule_of_law  justice_system  infrastructure  legal_system  property_rights  institutional_integrity  long-term  instant_gratification  capital_formation  capital_accumulation  indepedent_judiciary 
september 2010 by jerryking

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