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jerryking : dignity   8

When a rude boss keeps you waiting, why not walk out? | Financial Times
Pilita Clark JANUARY 26 2020

 * The Surprising Science of Meetings by Steven Rogelberg (2019)
books  courtesy  dignity  meetings  power_dynamics  punctuality  selfishness  tardiness  walking_away 
24 days ago by jerryking
How Chadwick Boseman Embodies Black Male Dignity - The New York Times
By Reggie Ugwu
Jan. 2, 2019

Most people would recognize any dimension of Boseman now. After years of surfing the biopic industrial complex as one national idol after another, his role as Black Panther in the “Avengers” films and this year’s eponymous blockbuster, the ninth-highest-grossing movie of all time, has established him as the rare breed of actor with both widely recognized chops and old-school star power — the kind any producer in post-Netflix Hollywood would trade a good kidney to clone in a lab. Next up are starring roles in the New York police action drama “17 Bridges” (of which he is also a producer), the international thriller “Expatriate” (he’s producing and co-writing that one) and, barring an alien-invasion-level catastrophe, a wildly anticipated “Black Panther” sequel. Boseman told me his method of humanizing superhumans begins with searching their pasts. He’s looking for gestational wounds, personal failures, private fears — fissures where the molten ore of experience might harden into steel.....After college, Boseman moved to the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn, where he ran out most of his 20s. He spent his days in coffee shops — playing chess and writing plays to direct, some of which were influenced by hip-hop and Pan-African theology.

At Howard, he’d taken an acting class with the Tony Award-winning actress and director Phylicia Rashad. (One summer, she helped him and some classmates get into an elite theater program at the University of Oxford, an adventure he later learned had been financed by a friend of hers: Denzel Washington.) To earn money, Boseman taught acting to students at the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture in Harlem.
actors  African-Americans  biopics  Black_Panther  celebrities  Denzel_Washington  dignity  inspiration  moral_authority  Chadwick_Boseman 
january 2019 by jerryking
Harry and Sidney: Soul Brothers - The New York Times
Charles M. Blow FEB. 20, 2017

Belafonte and Poitier demonstrated over a lifetime how celebrities could embody activism as well as the quiet power of dignity and grace.

King once said of Poitier: “He is a man of great depth, a man of great social concern, a man who is dedicated to human rights and freedom. Here is a man who, in the words we so often hear now, is a soul brother.”

In fact, I think that is what Poitier and Belafonte found in each other: a soul brother. Happy birthday, gentlemen.
'60s  actors  African-Americans  Caribbean  celebrities  Charles_Blow  civil_rights  dignity  friendships  iconic  trailblazers 
february 2017 by jerryking
What to Say to a Friend Who's Ill - WSJ.com
April 12, 2013 | WSJ | By LETTY COTTIN POGREBIN.
The following are 10 Commandments for Conversing With a Sick Friend.

1. Rejoice at their good news. Don't minimize their bad news. A guy tells you that the doctors got it all, say "Hallelujah!" A man with advanced bladder cancer says that he's taking his kids to Disneyland next summer, don't bite your lip and mutter, "We'll see." Tell him it's a great idea. (What harm can it do?)..."Tell me what I can do to make things easier for you—I really want to help."

2. Treat your sick friends as you always did—but never forget their changed circumstance. Speak to them as you always did (tease them, kid around with them, get mad at them) but indulge their occasional blue moods or hissy-fits. Most important, start conversations about other things (sports, politics, food, movies) as soon as possible and you'll help speed their journey from the morass of illness to the miracle of the ordinary.

3. Avoid self-referential comments. A friend with a hacking cough doesn't need to hear, "You think that's bad? I had double pneumonia."...The truest thing you can say to a sick or suffering friend is, "I can only try to imagine what you're going through."

4. Don't assume, verify. Repeat after me: "Assume nothing."

5. Get the facts straight before you open your mouth.Did your friend have a heart or liver transplant? Chemo or radiation? Don't just ask, "How are you?" Ask questions specific to your friend's health. "How's your rotator cuff these days?" "Did the blood test show Lyme disease?" "Are your new meds working?" If you need help remembering who has shingles and who has lupus, or the date of a friend's operation, enter a health note under the person's name in your contacts list or stick a Post-it by the phone and update the information as needed.

6. Help your sick friend feel useful. Zero in on one of their skills and lead to it. Assuming they're up to the task, ask a cybersmart patient to set up a Web page for you; ask a bridge or chess maven to give you pointers on the game; ask a retired teacher to guide your teenager through the college application process. In most cases, your request won't be seen as an imposition but a vote of confidence in your friend's talent and worth.

7. Don't infantilize the patient. Never speak to a grown-up the way you'd talk to a child. Objectionable sentences include, "How are we today, dearie?" "That's a good boy." "I bet you could swallow this teeny-tiny pill if you really tried." And the most wince-worthy, "Are we ready to go wee-wee?" Protect your friend's dignity at all costs.

8. Think twice before giving advice.Don't forward medical alerts, newspaper clippings or your Aunt Sadie's cure for gout. Your idea of a health bulletin that's useful or revelatory may mislead, upset, confuse or agitate your friend. Sick people have doctors to tell them what to do. Your job is simply to be their friend.

9. Let patients who are terminally ill set the conversational agenda.If they're unaware that they're dying, don't be the one to tell them. If they know they're at the end of life and want to talk about it, don't contradict or interrupt them; let them vent or weep or curse the Fates. Hand them a tissue and cry with them. If they want to confide their last wish, or trust you with a long-kept secret, thank them for the honor and listen hard. Someday you'll want to remember every word they say.

10. Don't pressure them to practice 'positive thinking.' The implication is that they caused their illness in the first place by negative thinking—by feeling discouraged, depressed or not having the "right attitude." Positive thinking can't cure Huntington's disease, ALS or inoperable brain cancer....As one hospice patient put it, "All I want from my friends right now is the freedom to sulk and say goodbye."
bad_news  conversations  Communicating_&_Connecting  difficult_conversations  dignity  etiquette  hospice  ice-breakers  illness  positive_thinking  stressful  tension 
april 2013 by jerryking
Stephens: A Lesson Before Dying - WSJ.com
December 13, 2011 | WSJ | By BRET STEPHENS.

A Lesson Before Dying
To bemoan illness after a good life seemed ungrateful.

"The good death has increasingly become a myth," wrote the Yale surgeon and bioethicist Sherwin Nuland in his 1993 prize-winning book "How We Die." Dying, in Dr. Nuland's eloquent telling, amounts to "a series of destructive events that involve by their very nature the disintegration of the dying person's humanity." Who can—who would dare—judge a man's worth when his mind and body are being picked bare by disease?...Cancer is a heist culminating in murder....To grow up is to understand that the confidence a parent radiates around his children is rarely the confidence the parent feels. I knew my father well enough to know his various fears and insecurities...All this meant that the diagnosis should have been devastating to him. Yet he never betrayed the slightest sign of fear...Yet my father maintained his usual sangfroid even when it became clear that there would be no getting well. There were no five stages of grief, no bouts of denial, anger, bargaining and depression....Throughout his life my father taught me many lessons: about language, history and philosophy; about ethics, loyalty and love. In the end, he taught me that death cannot destroy the dignity of a dignified man.

Charles J. Stephens, 1937-2011. May his memory be for a blessing.
dying  deaths  hospice  lessons_learned  cancers  Bret_Stephens  fatherhood  grief  palliative_care  end-of-life  books  dignity 
april 2012 by jerryking
Corner Office - The Onion’s C.E.O. - If Plan B Fails, Try C, D or E - Interview - NYTimes.com
May 14, 2010 New York Times | ..This interview with Steve
Hannah, chief executive of The Onion, was conducted and condensed by
Adam Bryant. "Never, ever do anything to deprive a human being of their
dignity in work, in life. Always praise in public and criticize in
private. You might be tempted, for example, when you’re letting someone
go, to say something that would diminish the value of their work. Don’t
ever do that.

And he taught me that when you’re faced with something that’s really
difficult and you think you’re at the end of your tether, there’s always
one more thing you can do to influence the outcome of this situation.
And then after that there’s one more thing. The number or possible
options is only limited by your imagination. “Imagination is enormously
important, enormously important.”
CEOs  interviews  imagination  dignity  next_play  optionality  Plan_B  praise  biographies  deprivations  resourcefulness  arduous 
may 2010 by jerryking
Op-Ed Columnist - In Search of Dignity
July 6, 2009 | New York Times | By DAVID BROOKS.

From JCK's notes in the late 1990s:
{"Individual expression" and "self esteem"}--can be a lot of B.S.
"feelings" can be a mask for selfishness
We live in a time when leaders and citizens have abdicated character, courage, & conscience.
There is no shame in our culture anymore.
Saving one or two stranded starfish, even if you can't save them all!
==========================================

there's a difference between being insecure and lacking self-esteem.
public_decorum  etiquette  popular_culture  personal_responsibility  David_Brooks  dignity  insecurity  personal_behaviour  bullshitake  self-esteem  selfishness 
july 2009 by jerryking

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