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jerryking : emotional_mastery   24

7 Signs This Woman Might Be Right For You - YouTube
1. She activates your King 👑
2. She suits you (suitable helper).
3. She knows the language (how/when/what to say to you).
4. She respects you.
5. She complements the vision 🖼
6. She's washable (vulnerable & teachable).
7. She fights for self government (self-control).
emotional_mastery  leading_indicators  relationships  self-control 
12 hours ago by jerryking
20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit
SEP 7, 2016 | Inc.com | By Matthew Jones.

1. You're going to die and you have no idea when.
Stop pretending that you're invincible. Acknowledge the fact of your own mortality, and then start structuring your life in a more meaningful way.

2. Everyone you love is going to die, and you don't know when.
This truth may be saddening at first, but it also gives you permission to make amends with past difficulties and re-establish meaningful relationships with important figures in your life.

3. Your material wealth won't make you a better or happier person.
Even if you're one of the lucky ones who achieves his or her materialistic dreams, money only amplifies that which was already present.

4. Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.
Happiness is always present in your life--it's just a matter of connecting to it and allowing it to flow through you that's challenging.

5. Donating money does less than donating time.
Giving your time is a way to change your perception and create a memory for yourself and others that will last forever.

6. You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself.
Stop trying to please, and start respecting your values, principles, and autonomy.

7. You can't be perfect, and holding yourself to unrealistic standards creates suffering.
Many perfectionists have unrelenting inner critics that are full of so much rage and self-hate that it tears them apart inside. Fight back against that negative voice, amplify your intuition, and start challenging your unrealistic standards.

8. Your thoughts are less important than your feelings and your feelings need acknowledgment.
Intellectually thinking through your problems isn't as helpful as expressing the feelings that create your difficulties in the first place.

9. Your actions speak louder than your words, so you need to hold yourself accountable.
Be responsible and take actions that increase positivity and love.

10. Your achievements and successes won't matter on your death bed.
When your time has come to transition from this reality, you won't be thinking about that raise; you'll be thinking about the relationships you've made--so start acting accordingly.

11. Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.
Some of the most talented people in the world never move out from their parent's basement.

12. Now is the only time that matters, so stop wasting it by ruminating on the past or planning the future.
You can't control the past, and you can't predict the future, and trying to do so only removes you from the one thing you can control--the present.

13. Nobody cares how difficult your life is, and you are the author of your life's story.
Stop looking for people to give you sympathy and start creating the life story you want to read.

14. Your words are more important than your thoughts, so start inspiring people.
Words have the power to oppress, hurt, and shame, but they also have the power to liberate and inspire--start using them more wisely.

15. Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's the most worthwhile thing you can do.
You have to put on your own gas mask to save the person sitting right next to you.

16. It's not what happens, it's how you react that matters.
Train yourself to respond in a way that leads to better outcomes.

17. You need to improve your relationships to have lasting happiness.
Relationships have a greater impact on your wellbeing and happiness than your income or your occupation, so make sure you give your relationship the attention and work it deserves.

18. Pleasure is temporary and fleeting, so stop chasing fireworks and start building a constellation. Don't settle for an ego boost right now when you can delay gratification and experience deeper fulfillment.

19. Your ambition means nothing without execution--it's time to put in the work.
If you want to change the world, then go out there and do it!

20. Time is your most valuable asset--you need to prioritize how you spend it.
accountability  affirmations  autonomy  consistency  delayed_gratification  efforts  emotional_mastery  execution  good_enough  gut_feelings  happiness  hard_truths  invest_in_yourself  living_in_the_moment  mindfulness  mortality  mybestlife  no_sob_stories  practice  principles  priorities  relationships  serving_others  truth-telling  values  volunteering 
november 2019 by jerryking
How to prepare yourself for redundancy
SEPTEMBER 11, 2019 | | Financial Times | by Adrian Warner.

Don’t think that doing your job well is a guarantee you will keep it. Continuously prepare for losing your job.....always make sure you are ready to be shown the door — practically, psychologically and financially...Seeking advice and networking is a positive way of establishing a safety net. Even if you are happy in your job and have complete faith in your employer, always have a Plan B. You do not need to say you are looking for a move straight away. But keeping your options open and researching your next career move will make you more comfortable in your current job.

At the same time, accumulate enough savings to pay your bills for six months, should you lose your job....Also think about how you might employ your skills and contacts to change career. You might need to do some extra training to change direction completely....There are three stages to planning for redundancy: the first is talking to people about their experiences in other fields and thinking about what else you might want to do. The second is improving your position through extra studying and developing new skills. The third stage is asking people about openings.... if you take these precautions, you should be ready for any turmoil in your career......
I would recommend everybody to work hard on the first stage. You may never move to stage two or three but knowing you have options will make you feel more comfortable.

Five tips for dealing with redundancy
Anger — I was angry at being shown the door but I learnt to control it. Companies don’t hire people with emotional baggage.

Former colleagues — Many colleagues may struggle with what to say and keep their distance at first. Don’t take this personally and give them time.

Fresh start — A career change needs planning. Analyse your skills and think strategically about how you can use them for another role.

Networking — It’s estimated that 70 per cent of jobs are not advertised, so it’s crucial to regularly talk to contacts about openings.

Job hunting in 2019 — You need to get used to rejection. Computers may assess your CV, so beat the “bots” by including keywords in the job specification.
BBC  beforemath  emergency_funds  emotional_mastery  job_search  layoffs  loyalty  Managing_Your_Career  networking  personal_branding  Plan_B  preparation  rejections  safety_nets  the_big_picture  tips 
september 2019 by jerryking
Is ancient philosophy the future? - The Globe and Mail
DONALD ROBERTSON
CONTRIBUTED TO THE GLOBE AND MAIL

* Stoic philosophy, of which Marcus Aurelius was history’s most famous proponent, taught its followers not to waste time on diversions that don’t actually improve their character.
* Ryan Holiday and Steven Hanselman’s The Daily Stoic.
* Stoicism offers rational solutions to human problems but it is especially effective in troubled times. Its offer is attractive: It doesn’t matter how crazy the world is, how “bad” others are, you can always keep your cool and flourish.
* Stoicism.....carefully distinguishes between things that are under our control and things that are not. We should learn to take more responsibility for things we do and to be less disturbed by events that happen to us.....Serenity Prayer.....“God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
* it’s not things that upset us but rather our judgments about them. ...modern cognitive therapy... teaches us to become more aware of the role our thinking, or cognition, can play in shaping our emotions.
* Stoic acceptance does not mean passivity....The ancient Stoics sought to reconcile emotional calm with deliberate action for the common welfare of mankind.
* remain committed to improving the world around us without having to become distressed when things fall short of our expectations.
adversity  beyond_one's_control  books  emotional_mastery  metacognition  mindfulness  personal_control  philosophy  Romans  Ryan_Holiday  sense_of_control  sense_of_proportion  span_of_control  Stoics 
april 2019 by jerryking
Why Is Silicon Valley So Obsessed With the Virtue of Suffering?
March 26, 2019 | The New York Times | By Nellie Bowles.

a new entrepreneurship-focused lobbying firm, the Cicero Institute.
Daily Stoic, a popular blog for the tech-Stoic community.
“Meditations,” by Marcus Aurelius
“A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy,” by William B. Irvine
Ryan Holiday’s life-hacking books on Stoicism.
Search for books by Ada Palmer.

The wealthy of Silicon Valley ought to be living their very best lives right now. John Doerr, an early Amazon and Google investor, calls their moment “the greatest legal accumulation of wealth in history.” And yet, the people of Silicon Valley seem determined to make themselves miserable. They sit in painful, silent meditations for weeks on end. They starve for days — on purpose. Cold morning showers are a bragging right. Notoriety is a badge of honor. So the most helpful clues to understanding Silicon Valley today may come from its favorite ancient philosophy: Stoicism. An ancient Greek school of thought, Stoicism argued that the only real treasures in life were inner virtues, like self-mastery and courage. The Stoics offered tactics to endure pain and pleasure without complaint.

* Is this really a thing? - Some executives in SV believe that our pleasing, on-demand life will make them soft. So they attempt to induce pain..... incorporate practices in our lives that “mimic” our ancestors’ environments and their daily challenges....Tim Ferriss wrote on his blog that Stoicism is “an ideal ‘operating system’ for thriving in high-stress environments.”.....there are the founders who may not call themselves Stoics, but who practice some of its tenets (e.g. Jack Dorsey, Twitter's C.E.O., who likes to walk five miles to work each day and meditates in silence 10 days each year.
* Why are they attracted to Stoicism? - Stoicism “a wonderful therapy against grief and the blinders of the rat race.” “So much of Stoicism is about achieving interior tranquillity,”
* Why does it matter? - The Cicero Institute comes at a time of tension in Silicon Valley.
books  courage  discomforts  emotional_mastery  endurance  founders  Greek  high-stress  inner-directed  inner_peace  John_Doerr  joyless  philosophy  Roman  Ryan_Holiday  self-deprivation  self-mastery  Silicon_Valley  Stoics  suffering  Tim_Ferris  tough-mindedness  virtues 
march 2019 by jerryking
Why Is Silicon Valley So Obsessed With the Virtue of Suffering?
George Born
Concord, NH5h ago
Not really a fair summary of what stoicism is. Stoicism recommends focusing on what one has the most control over: oneself and one's reactions to events.

Not really...
emotional_mastery  letters_to_the_editor  span_of_control  Stoics 
march 2019 by jerryking
How to Turn a Rejection Into an Advantage
March 17, 2019 | The New York Times | By Tim Herrera.

The first step to getting over a missed opportunity and instead seeing it as an advantage.....allow yourself to feel regret.

“Sitting with that emotion and processing it is really important,” ....“Too often we just think, ‘O.K. I’ll just bury that inside.’”.....engage in deep self-reflection about what actually motivated me and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.....Next, identify whether you’re feeling regret because something in your current situation isn’t going particularly well. If you’ve been obsessing about not getting a job you really wanted, consider if you’re only feeling that way because you didn’t get a promotion you were hoping for, or because your co-workers have been getting under your skin lately. This can help you recognize that you might be focusing on a missed opportunity not because you truly wanted it to pan out, but because things just aren’t going very well at this moment......Write down three things that went well for you recently, and note who or what caused those things to happen. This helps you look at the positive.....how we frame missed opportunities is a matter of recognizing that life is full of twists and turns, and that change — or a lack of change — doesn’t always have to be considered unequivocally good or unequivocally bad. Sometimes it has shades, and those shades can change depending on your perspective.

Perhaps most helpful is to orient your thinking around what’s going well right now, and then work backward to figure out why,
howto  rejections  emotional_mastery  gratitude  missed_opportunities  regrets  self-reflective 
march 2019 by jerryking
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene Summary & Notes - Nat Eliason
Law 23: Concentrate your forces
intensity defeats extensity every time.

Law 24: Play the perfect courtier
The laws of court politics:

Avoid ostentation.Practice nonchalance. Be frugal with flattery. Arrange to be noticed. Alter your style and language according to the person you are dealing with. Never be the bearer of bad news. Never affect friendliness and intimacy with your master. Never criticize those above you directly. Be frugal in asking those above you for favors. Never joke about appearances of tastes. Do not be the court cynic. Be self observant. Master your emotions. Fit the spirits of the times. Be the source of pleasure

Law 25: Re-Create Yourself
Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you.

The world wants to assign you a role in life. And once you accept that role you are doomed.

Remake yourself into a character of power. Working on yourself like clay should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks.

The first step in the process of self-creation is self-consciousness— being aware of yourself as an actor and taking control of your appearance and emotions.

The second step in the process of self-creation is a variation on the George Sand strategy: the creation of a memorable character, one that compels attention, that stands out above the other players on the stage.

Law 26: Keep your hands clean
Conceal your mistakes, have a scapegoat around to blame.

Make use of the cats paw.
bad_news  emotional_mastery  lessons_learned  political_power  Robert_Greene  rules_of_the_game 
february 2019 by jerryking
Lucky Thirteen: Wolf Hall, Parts III & IV (Entry 3)
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wolf Hall, Parts III & IV (Entry 3)

Choose your prince.
Cromwell was loyal and energetically served Cardinal Wolsey. Once Wolsey fell out of favor, Cromwell started nurturing his relationship with another "prince", the King, without turning his back on the Cardinal. Then when Cardinal Wolsey died, Cromwell was in a plump position to become one of the King's advisors.

This is how you rise in station. Cromwell is not a man of conviction to political sides. He is a man of conviction to rising in power and wealth. He can go one way or the other. He doesn't seem to be immoral. So far. The jury is still out. He needs to find the next stepping block. He had to choose his prince.

Arrange your face.
Cromwell was brilliant. Knowledgeable in every area I can imagine - numbers, business, language, diplomacy, counseling, theology, politics. He had only his service to others to propel his fortunes forward.

Humbler than humble background, his future lay in what he could do for those in power. Therefore his emotions and opinions were always filtered. What a life. ....hide one's true feelings, arrange one's face. Take a deep breath. You can do it.
===============================================
Money is power. Even back then. Who would have guessed.

The world is not run from where he thinks. Not from border fortresses, not even from Whitehall. The world is run from Antwerp, from Florence, from places he has never imagined; from Lisbon, from where the ships with sails of silk drift west and are burned up in the sun. Not from the castle walls, but from counting houses, not be the call of the bugle, but by the click of the abacus, not by the grate and click of the mechanism of the gun but by the scrape of the pen on the page of the promissory note that pays for the gun and the gunsmith and the powder and shot.”
historical_fiction  Thomas_Cromwell  Tudors  Wolf_Hall  emotional_mastery 
january 2019 by jerryking
Your Worst Enemy in a Negotiation? Look in the Mirror. - At Work - WSJ
Jan 23, 2015 | WSJ | By LAUREN WEBER.

"our most stubborn and challenging opponent is ourselves."

the most difficult person we have to deal with is the person we look at in the mirror in the morning. It’s our innate tendency to react, which is to act without thinking, out of anger or fear, that we later come to regret. [The writer] Ambrose Bierce said, “When you’re angry, you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”

WSJ: Why are we so easily knocked off kilter?

Ury: Human beings are designed evolutionarily to be reaction machines. That’s built in from the time we had to react quickly if there was a big cat in the neighborhood, and that was very appropriate then. But it’s not very appropriate when you're in a Manhattan office building. I also think we’re under a lot more stress than we ever were before, and when you're more stressed, you're more reactive.

WSJ: How do you end self-sabotage?

Ury: These are things we already know, but maybe we don't practice them. For example, I talk about ‘going to the balcony,’ which I use as a metaphor for taking a timeout (jk: power of the pause).

You have to imagine that you’re negotiating on a stage and part of your mind goes to a balcony, where you look down on yourself. It gives you perspective, self-control, calm. The problem is, when the stakes are high, you're worried and you get distracted from negotiating your best..... to be more effective in stressful situations, quiet our minds and focus on what our intentions are.
WSJ: The term BATNA is crucial to your method. What is a BATNA?

Ury: Your ‘Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement.’ It’s your best course of action if you can’t reach agreement with the other side. So if you’re negotiating with a boss, if you don't like this job, can you get another one? If you have a serious dispute with a customer or supplier, can you take this up with a mediator or arbitrator or go to court? Every negotiation takes place within the shadow of that alternative. It’s probably the major determinant of leverage or power.

And yet what I find is we just focus on getting the agreement and we become so dependent on it that we’re give up anything to get it. So a BATNA gives you a sense of freedom, knowing you can walk away.

For this book, the focus is on getting to the inner BATNA, a commitment to ourselves and our basic needs. If you can do that, you can negotiate from a place of inner strength, inner confidence.
BATNA  Communicating_&_Connecting  decision_making  emotional_mastery  inner_strengths  negotiations  power_of_the_pause  self-improvement  self-sabotage  stressful  timeouts  walking_away 
january 2015 by jerryking
Picking Your Workplace Battles - WSJ
By SUE SHELLENBARGER
Dec. 16, 2014

Many people avoid confrontations, says Dr. Shelley Reciniello, New York, an executive coach and psychologist. But simmering frustrations can come out in other ways, fostering passive-aggressive behavior such as slacking off or backstabbing...It’s important to weigh your ability to control your emotions during a confrontation and to manage any counterfire from your opponent....More than 4 out of 5 corporate employees have conflicts with other employees over priorities, misunderstandings, resources or personality differences...When picking a battle, it is important to be willing to offer a solution or work with others to find one....It’s better to avoid some kinds of battles altogether, such as disputes over someone’s personality or style,
Communicating_&_Connecting  conflicts  confrontations  conversations  emotional_mastery  Managing_Your_Career  managing_people  managing_up  misunderstandings  passive-aggressive  stressful  Sue_Shellenbarger  workplaces 
december 2014 by jerryking
How Successful People Stay Calm - Forbes
Travis Bradberry, Contributor

I use emotional intelligence to boost leadership performance.
Follow (102)
Leadership
|
2/06/2014
emotional_intelligence  emotional_mastery  EQ  gratitude  high-achieving  overachievers  stressful 
february 2014 by jerryking
Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage | love story from the male perspective
1. Never stop courting
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.

This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.


2. Protect your own heart
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.

Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again
You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday.

SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability...
...For your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.



7. Never blame your wife if you...
get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed.

You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean.

The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET.

Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly…
don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday…
learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.



12. Be willing to take her sexually...
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot
And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.

(Okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable…
You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent
relationships  divorce  tips  marriage  romantic_love  living_in_the_moment  emotional_mastery 
august 2013 by jerryking
Overcoming Your Negativity Bias - NYTimes.com
June 14, 2013, 12:44 pm Comment
Overcoming Your Negativity Bias
By TONY SCHWARTZ
Negative thoughts destroy one's concentration....write down everything you feel grateful for in that moment. you'll feel remarkably better, but also far more able to concentrate on the task at hand. .. If you’re a manager or a leader, you carry an extra responsibility. By virtue of your authority, your emotions are disproportionately influential. When you’re feeling worried, frustrated or angry, the people around you are going to pick it up – not least because they’ll be wondering whether they’re the cause. Is there someone on your team who is especially triggering you lately? Take a moment to think about the quality you most appreciate in that person – to remember what it was that drew you to that person in the first place.

Here’s the paradox: The more you’re able to move your attention to what makes you feel good, the more capacity you’ll have to manage whatever was making you feel bad in the first place. Emotions are contagious, for better or worse. It’s your choice.
cognitive_skills  biases  howto  self-criticism  gratitude  emotional_mastery  affirmations  self-defeating  self-doubt  negativity_bias  positive_thinking  pessimism 
june 2013 by jerryking
Nine key traits to make the shift from failure to success - The Globe and Mail
HARVEY SCHACHTER

Special to The Globe and Mail

Published Tuesday, Oct. 09 2012

1. Rebounders accept failure: They hate to fail, but they accept it, and try to fail productively, learning from the experience, as the inventive Thomas Edison did with his many failed experiments.

2. Rebounders compartmentalize options: They are often emotional people, with drive and passion. John Bogle, who founded Vanguard Group, was furious when he was pushed out of a previous job and even had revenge fantasies. But he didn’t spend time trying to get even. Rebounders control the emotional fallout of their struggle (i.e. emotional mastery).

3. Rebounders have a bias toward action: After Tammy Duckworth lost both legs when her U.S. military helicopter was shot down in Iraq, her first impulse was to get to work at rehabilitation and her new life. Rebounders keep pushing, keep doing.

4. Rebounders change their minds: They can discard old thinking, give up on long-held dreams, and adjust their ambitions to evolving situations. They don’t cling to ideas that are proving hopeless.

5. Rebounders prepare for things to go wrong: They don’t expect things to go their own way. They are cautious optimists, always aware their plans may go awry.

6. Rebounders are comfortable with discomfort: They are willing to accept hardships and inconveniences as long as they feel they are getting closer to their goal. Singer/songwriter Lucinda Williams could have signed a major recording deal years earlier if she had agreed to make the songs the music companies wanted, but she stayed true to her own vision, even if it meant often barely having the money to pay her rent.

7. Rebounders are willing to wait: They are determined to succeed on their own terms, and can accept that it might take a long time. “But rebounders don’t just wait positively for a lucky break, or do the same thing over and over. They constantly learn and get better, continually improving the likelihood of success until the odds tilt in their favour,” Mr. Newman observes.

8. Rebounders have heroes: Many of the rebounders he met are romantics, seeing their role as in some way historic, and they are entranced by some mentor or historical figure who they want to emulate. Vanguard’s Mr. Bogle, for example, often alluded to the naval battles of Admiral Lord Nelson and named his mutual fund company after his hero’s ship.

9. Rebounders have more than passion: We are told we need passion for success, but rebounders realize it requires more than that. They have a special drive and resilience that allows them to capitalize on their passion.
bouncing_back  resilience  Harvey_Schachter  emotional_mastery  personality_types/traits  ksfs  long-term  patience  preparation  contingency_planning  reflections  self-analysis  self-awareness  thinking_tragically  discomforts  strategic_patience  adaptability  inconveniences  passions  heroes  pragmatism  compartmentalization  action-oriented  hardships  next_play 
october 2012 by jerryking
Reflections on Relationship
November 1999 | Essence | Susan L Taylor.

no one can take your peace or power unless you surrender it. No one's bad behavior makes you miserable for long unless you allow it to. It's not our lover’s bad behavior that makes us crazy, but how we internalize and respond to it....The naive misunderstanding is that our partners must behave as we want them to for us to be happy, when our happiness is a measure of our own inner state.
relationships  dating  affirmations  Susan_Taylor  emotional_mastery  misunderstandings  happiness  intrinsically_motivated  inner-directed 
september 2012 by jerryking
Three questions to ask yourself when you’re angry
Sep. 07 2012 | The Globe and Mail | HARVEY SCHACHTER.

Are you hungry?
Are you mad at someone or something else?
How would a classy person act right now?
anger_management  Harvey_Schachter  questions  think_threes  grace  emotional_mastery 
september 2012 by jerryking
Karma Capitalism
OCTOBER 30, 2006 | BusinessWeek | Pete Engardio.

The swami's whirlwind East Coast tour was just one small manifestation of a significant but sometimes quirky new trend: Big Business is embracing Indian philosophy. Suddenly, phrases from ancient Hindu texts such as the Bhagavad Gita are popping up in management tomes and on Web sites of consultants. Top business schools have introduced "self-mastery" classes that use Indian methods to help managers boost their leadership skills and find inner peace in lives dominated by work.

More important, Indian-born strategists also are helping transform corporations. Academics and consultants such as C. K. Prahalad, Ram Charan, and Vijay Govindrajan are among the world's hottest business gurus. About 10% of the professors at places such as Harvard Business School, Northwestern's Kellogg School of Business, and the University of Michigan's Ross School of Business are of Indian descent--a far higher percentage than other ethnic groups. "When senior executives come to Kellogg, Wharton, Harvard, or [Dartmouth's] Tuck, they are exposed to Indian values that are reflected in the way we think and articulate," says Dipak C. Jain, dean of the Kellogg School.
capitalism  China  C.K._Prahalad  emotional_mastery  India  Indian-Americans  inner_peace  philosophy  Ram_Charan  self-mastery  Vijay_Govindarajan 
april 2012 by jerryking
Recovering From a Late Setback - WSJ.com
May 27, 2003 | WSJ | By JOANN S. LUBLIN

The well-publicized announcement made it impossible for Mr. White to mourn in private. But the coverage started him on the road to recovery by bringing him advice from his wide personal and professional network. "There is important work in the world for a person of your ability and integrity," wrote Fred Alger, founder and CEO of Fred Alger Management. Mr. White has been a trustee for some of the New York money-management firm's funds since 1999...Mr. White decided not to blame others for his turndown nor let the episode diminish him in any way.

He demonstrated his resolve by trying to arrange a flawless transition. Among other things, he prepared extensive background materials, then briefed Ms. Coleman face-to-face in Iowa.

Mr. White brought his inner turmoil to a cathartic conclusion during a campus dinner to honor his interim leadership in July 2002. University regents and senior officials expected perfunctory remarks. Sensing a "teachable" moment, the veteran professor instead spoke candidly about his loss to an already uneasy crowd.

"It's no secret to anyone in this room that I'm disappointed not to be able to serve the university in the years ahead," Mr. White declared. He went on: "We can choose how to think about and react to disappointment. At the extremes, one line of thought leads to bitterness and a shriveled soul; the other leads to wisdom and growth." Mr. White said his own career disappointment had enabled him to challenge himself about "what will be my work, my contributions, my sources of satisfaction and self-esteem?" He got a standing ovation.
bouncing_back  Joann_S._Lublin  setbacks  Managing_Your_Career  inspiration  Wall_Street  Colleges_&_Universities  disappointment  affirmations  seminal_moments  career-defining_moments  emotional_mastery  mybestlife  teachable_moments 
march 2012 by jerryking
Grace under firing
August 13, 2011 | globeadvisor.com | by AARON SCHAT. As
Tiger Woods' former caddy discovered, losing your job can be a real test
of character. How not to make a bad situation worse:

How you handle difficult life circumstances - such as being fired -
reveals your character. This does not mean that you should blithely
accept being mistreated. Indeed, anger is an appropriate reaction to
experiencing or witnessing mistreatment. Nor does this mean that you
should avoid criticizing people or processes that are unfair. But this
can be done with venom or grace, malice or dignity. You are responsible
for how you respond.
(1) Never bad mouth an ex-employer.
(2) Reflect and learn
(3) Find fresh motivation
(4) Make the best of the crisis.
bouncing_back  character_traits  emotional_mastery  etiquette  firings  golf  grace  Managing_Your_Career  mistreatment  resilience  silver_linings  Tiger_Woods  values 
august 2011 by jerryking
How to Make Your Co-Workers Smarter
May 11, 2011| BNET | By Jessica Stillman.
Learn about people’s passions. You can’t connect with others if you
don’t know anything about them. So, who are they? Ask lots of questions.
What inspires or drives them? What are their goals? What have they
learned recently?
Get over yourself. Flip your focus from yourself to the other
person. When you say to yourself, “He hates me” or “She thinks I’m
stupid,” you are making someone else’s behavior about you [jk: emotional mastery]. Change your
perspective. For instance, if you are thinking, “I want her to think I’m
smart” flip your focus to “I want her to be smart.”
Make connections. When interacting with small groups, be a
“connector” by calling out each person’s unique talents or strengths.
Help people connect the dots and see that two or more heads really are
better than one.
Communicating_&_Connecting  connecting_the_dots  co-workers  curiosity  emotional_mastery  empowerment  howto  ice-breakers  passions  questions  serving_others  smart_people  teams  workplaces 
may 2011 by jerryking
Principles matter - negotiation strategies for entrepreneurs
July 4, 2003 | First published in the Globe and Mail | By BRIAN
BABCOCK Responding to a bully tactic on pricing. Prepare your brief,
then review your brief, and prepare it again. Have I prepared, revised,
and prepared again? Do I know all I can know about my market and my
competitors? Do I have a plan for negotiations? Have I judiciously
communicated my interests to the other people at the table? Do I
understand their interests? Do I know what I'll do if negotiations
fail? What's my best alternative to agreement? How can I change the
paradigm? Is my interest to expand the possibility of mutual gains? Am I
positional bargaining or interest-based negotiating? Do I remain
principled in the face of brinksmanship? Have I separated my emotions
from the bargaining process? Can I identify when my energy is wasted on
emotional "nonsense" and blame? Will the agreement create lasting
relationships of respect and trust? If not, how do I create those
critical and strategic positions?
asymmetrical  bargaining  BATNA  blaming_fingerpointing  Brian_Babcock  brinksmanship  bullying  emotional_mastery  emotions  mentoring  negotiations  preparation  pricing  respect  trustworthiness 
march 2009 by jerryking

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