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jerryking : incivility   5

Six rules for managing our era’s oversupply of non-stop news, high-decibel outrage
May 11, 2019 | The Globe and Mail | editorials.

Rule No. 1: You don’t need to have an opinion about everything. Shocking but true. ....It’s perfectly fair to say, “I don’t know enough to have an opinion on that," or, “I will leave that to others to debate,” or even, “Both sides have some good points.” You might not please everyone, but see Rule No. 2.

* Rule No. 2: You can’t please everyone. Get over it.

* Rule No. 3: Embrace ambivalence....often misinterpreted as indifference, or derided as indecision. In fact, the ability to entertain contradictory but animating ideas goes to the heart of what it means to be a mature and civilized human being. It’s also central to preserving political freedom. The most dangerous person in a democracy is the blind partisan who outsources her opinions to politicians or an ideology, and who sees those who don’t agree as enemies to be righteously chased from town by a torch-wielding mob. The biggest threat to such black-and-white partisanship is the person who keeps her mind open, is not blindly loyal to any one team and sees people with different opinions not as monsters to be slain but as human beings to be understood, especially when you disagree with them, and they disagree with you.

* Rule No. 4: When you take a stand, be forceful. While the process of reaching a conclusion should involve a lot of “on the one hand” and “on the other,” at some point you have to make a choice.

In a criminal trial, the decision to convict an accused person can only be taken if the evidence is persuasive beyond a reasonable doubt – in other words, if the evidence is irrefutable and the conclusion is certain. But in politics, business and life, most decisions must be taken under conditions that cannot meet that exacting standard. Reasonable doubts are reasonable. Only the extreme partisan is without them.

* Rule No. 5: Set your bottom line. How far are you willing to let another person go before you feel obliged to offer a counter-opinion? Not every take you hear deserves the energy required to argue against it. Sometimes, you have to just let people say things you don’t agree with. You might learn something.

And remember, just as there is no obligation to have an opinion on every subject, there is also no rule that says you must express your opinion every time the chance presents itself. But when someone or something does cross a line, sometimes you can’t hold back. It may be as lofty as a matter of justice, or a simple as a question of common sense, but there comes a moment when your opinion will matter.

* Rule No. 6: Opinions are not the same thing as empathy. Empathy is what makes it possible for people who disagree to live together in peace and harmony – to agreeably disagree. And in a multicultural, multireligious, multiracial, multiparty democracy, people are going to disagree about all sorts of things, all the time.

The world has enough opinions. What it really needs is more empathy. Without it, life isn’t possible.
21st._century  agreeably_disagree  ambivalence  commoditization_of_information  disagreements  disinformation  dual-consciousness  empathy  hard_choices  incivility  incompatibilities  indecision  information_overload  news  opinions  open_mind  outrage  partial_truths  partisanship  partisan_loyalty  political_spin  propaganda  rules_of_the_game 
may 2019 by jerryking
We cannot win if we do not like each other
May 6 2018 | Sunday Stabroek | by Ian McDonald.

When I was a schoolboy we had a games-master named Mr. Wilkinson who had served the College for all eternity. I suppose he must have been in his fi...
Guyana  Guyanese  partisanship  national_unity  factionalism  dissension  ethnic_divisions  politics  intolerance  incivility  mistrust  personal_animosity  personal_invective 
may 2018 by jerryking
Civility at Work Helps Everyone Get Ahead - WSJ
By CHRISTINE PORATH
Updated Nov. 23, 2016

Trust is key in any relationship. In the workplace today, we spend over 8 hours per day with our fellow co-workers. Trust builds relationships, and enables true collaboration and teamwork. Without trust, nothing works well.
civility  co-workers  incivility  relationships  trustworthiness  workplaces 
november 2016 by jerryking
Crovitz: Is Internet Civility an Oxymoron? - WSJ.com
APRIL 19, 2010 | Wall Street Journal | By L. GORDON
CROVITZ. Unmoderated, anonymous comments on Web sites create more noise
than wisdom. "For those of us tempted to hope that new technology
might improve human nature, the Web has proved a disappointment. The
latest online reality: comment sections so uncivilized and uninformative
that it's clear the free flow of anonymous comments has become way too
much of a good thing."..."The hope was that people would be civil.
Instead, many comment areas have become wastelands of attacks and
insults."...Part of the problem is that people who conceal their names
seem to feel free to say things they never would if their identities
were known. There are obvious cases—dissidents living in authoritarian
countries—where anonymity is needed. But ... message boards dominated by
anonymous comments often become "havens for a level of crudity,
bigotry, meanness and plain nastiness that shocks the tattered remnants
of our propriety."
L._Gordon_Crovtiz  civility  internet  commentators  anonymity  courtesies  incivility  disappointment 
may 2010 by jerryking

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