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From War Room to Boardroom: Leadership Lessons From Two Generals - WSJ
Dec. 8, 2014 | WSJ |

Start to build relationships so that you have something to fall back on when you disagree on the issues.

What leadership lessons should we take from the American experience in Iraq and Afghanistan?

GEN. MCCHRYSTAL: The first thing is we didn’t do due diligence before we went in. We didn’t understand the problem to the depth that we needed to. We didn’t take the time to do it, and we didn’t nurture the experts.

If we gathered all the Pashtun and Arabic speakers in the U.S. military, we could probably fit them on this stage. And yet, after World War II began, after Pearl Harbor, we trained more than 5,000 military members to speak Japanese. We just haven’t made that level of effort.

The other thing is we go at this with different parts of our government. Every agency wants to help but they want to protect their equities, and you can’t do a complex endeavor like this unless you can build a truly integrated team in which everybody is focused.
leadership  lessons_learned  shared_consciousness  operational_tempo  Stanley_McChrystal  teams  NSC  security_&_intelligence  generalship  ISIS  al_Qaeda  Taliban  learning_organizations  adaptability  decision_making  speed  languages  Arabic  Pashtun  relationships 
december 2014 by jerryking
The man who mends careers and hearts - FT.com
December 11, 2014 12:23 pm
The man who mends careers and hearts
By Emma Jacobs
dating  relationships  management_consulting 
december 2014 by jerryking
The man with the key to China: Barrick Gold’s quest to open new doors - The Globe and Mail
RACHELLE YOUNGLAI - MINING REPORTER
The Globe and Mail
Published Friday, Dec. 06 2013

John Thorton is a man who “loves flawless execution” and prefers to work behind the scenes.

When Goldman won the contract to take some of China’s government-controlled telecom services public in 1998, it stemmed from Mr. Thornton’s work.

In the mid-1990s, Mr. Thornton got wind that the vice-premier at the time, Zhu Rongji, wanted to reform some of the country’s state-owned telecoms.

Mr. Thornton, who had taken Britain’s Vodafone public in the late-1980s, arranged for a meeting with the number 2 banker at the newly formed state-owned Chinese investment bank, a Chinese national who did not speak English.

Through a translator late at night in Beijing, Mr. Thornton said: “Here’s the real situation, you call yourself a banker and yet you know nothing about banking. I am in charge of Goldman Sachs Asia and China and I know nothing about any one of those. So we have a perfect marriage here. You’re going to teach me China and I am going to teach you banking and I am going to make you look like a hero in front of Zhu Rongji and everyone else who is important to you. And I don’t need any visibility, credit, anything. All I want to do is understand China out of this whole process.”

Mr. Thornton stressed his experience with Vodafone and the Chinese banker took Mr. Thornton’s request to Wang Qishan, then the head of China Construction Bank (one of China’s four biggest banks) and a protege of Mr. Zhu. Mr. Wang then spoke to Mr. Zhu and Goldman made its foray into China.

Mr. Thornton, Mr. Evans and former U.S. treasury secretary and Goldman chief executive Hank Paulson met Mr. Zhu in Beijing and Goldman got the deal.
Hank_Paulson  mining  Barrick  Goldman_Sachs  boards_&_directors_&_governance  China  relationships  dealmakers  optics  protégés 
december 2014 by jerryking
When Mentoring Goes Bad - WSJ
By DAWN E. CHANDLER, LILLIAN EBY AND STACY E. MCMANUS
May 24, 2010
mentoring  howto  relationships  Communicating_&_Connecting 
october 2014 by jerryking
Look who’s on top of the marriage market - The Globe and Mail
MARGARET WENTE
The Globe and Mail
Published Saturday, Sep. 20 2014,

Like the economy, the marriage market has become increasingly stratified and class-based. An increasing number of successful, high-earning men are concentrated at the top, while the pool of reliable, stably employed men at the bottom is shrinking. Men at the top don’t want to marry the secretary any more – they want to marry their equals, for reasons of both status and earning power. After all, two professional incomes will buy you a nicer life than one. They also want to make the best possible genetic investment in their offspring.

“Educated men and women are drawn to spouses they think will help them produce the children likely to thrive in the contemporary knowledge-based economy,” wrote social commentator Kay Hymowitz, whom the authors quote. “… The preference for alpha kids is the reason there is a luxury market for Ivy League egg and sperm donors.”
marriage  relationships  education  women  Margaret_Wente  income_inequality  social_classes 
september 2014 by jerryking
Brands not just a new wrapper for institutions
Fall 2014 | Western Alumni Alumni Gazette   | by Paul Wells, BA'89.

Michael Ignatieff is an asset to the Harvard brand. Or rather, to the Kennedy School brand, because Ignatieff is returning to the John F. Kennedy School of Government, also known as the Harvard Kennedy School or even as HKS. In other words, Harvard today is a sort of a nested set of Russian dolls of identity. There’s Harvard on the outside, and various affiliated schools further in, with academics of greater or lesser star power in the middle.

And it’s all of those attributes together, that jumble of organizations and individuals, that informed audiences think about when they think about Harvard.....In 2012 Arthur Brisbane, the former public editor of the New York Times, noted he found himself at “an oddly disaggregated New York Times of hyper-engaged journalists building their own brands, and company content flung willy-nilly into the ether.” The Times, surely the strongest newspaper brand in the world, has watched while reporter-columnists like David Carr, Mark Bittman, Paul Krugman, David Brooks take their act at least partly on the road, through active Twitter accounts, books, TV and public speaking gigs. I’ve even had well-meaning readers tell me I’d do better to leave Maclean’s and hang out my own shingle. But that misunderstands the nature of the relationship: The umbrella organization strengthens the individual writer’s clout — and vice versa. Strong identities aren’t something to fear on a big team. They’re essential to the team’s success
Paul_Wells  Colleges_&_Universities  Harvard  brands  branding  KSG  Michael_Ignatieff  personal_branding  NYT  symbiosis  relationships  unidirectional  bidirectional  misunderstandings  star_power  columnists  identity  matryoshka_dolls  writers 
september 2014 by jerryking
Forget love: How to use OKCupid to make friends - The Globe and Mail
ZOSIA BIELSKI
The Globe and Mail
Published Thursday, Jul. 17 2014

Possible hack for political big data?? for John Tory and other campaigns
friendships  relationships  OkCupid  hacks 
september 2014 by jerryking
Anal Sex: Science's Last Taboo
October 6, 2012 | | Alternet |By Debby Herbenick
sexuality  relationships 
august 2014 by jerryking
There are other options to motherhood - The Globe and Mail
LEAH MCLAREN
Special to The Globe and Mail
Published Thursday, Aug. 14 2014,
women  marriage  parenting  relationships  Leah_McLaren  motherhood 
august 2014 by jerryking
Relax
1. Develop your own personal operating system. Carve out and define your own reality, philosophy, values, and interests rather than automatically accepting those of your family, peers, religion, or culture.

2. Begin to let go of the need for validation. Don’t be motivated by the opinions or others or the desire for recognition. Be driven by what is important to you and what you value.

3. Trust your instincts and allow for experimentation. Get to know yourself and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have to fail a few times.
4. Accept others as they are. Begin letting go of judgments and criticism of others. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself.

5. Really hear people. Go beyond just listening and understanding. Let people know that you really get them.

6. Take care of unresolved matters in your life. Restore your integrity. Forgive and ask for forgiveness where necessary. Reclaim the energy you have given to these matters.

7. Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Get some form of exercise daily. Eat healthy foods that support your body, not your emotions. Do this because you respect yourself, not to impress others.

8. Cause things to happen. Don’t wait for them. Be a creator, an instigator, a collaborator. Share your enthusiasm.

9. Show people you care. Don’t just talk about it. Show them in ways that are meaningful to them, not you.

10. Require the best of people. See them not only for who they are, but who they can be. Lovingly reflect that vision to them.

11. Ensure your own needs are met. Discern your primary needs, and communicate fully what is important and valuable to you in your relationships. Don’t compromise these to keep peace or hang on.

12. Speak constructively. Use your words to uplift, inspire, motivate, and encourage. Don’t offer “constructive criticism” or subtle digs.

13. Laugh easily. Have a lightness about you. Take life less seriously and choose to find and create fun and joy.

14. Cease gossip. Choose not to talk about others in ways that are openly or subtlety critical. Don’t share information for the feeling of power or intrigue.

15. Make requests, not complaints. If you need something from someone, ask for it directly. Don’t whine or complain to them or others.

16. Handle situations fully. Kindly but clearly deal with negative issues as soon as possible. Don’t tolerate anything if it causes resentments.

17. Be done with arguments. Smile and walk away until healthy communication is possible.

18. Offer help only when asked. Don’t assume that others want you to fix them or that you know best for them. Be available and give help only when asked.

19. Care deeply, but remain detached. Let others know you care deeply about them when they have problems, but don’t get caught up in their problems.

20. See with your heart, not your eyes. Look beyond superficiality when seeing someone. Financial status, appearance, notoriety, all mean nothing. Look for the authentic person inside.

21. Don’t say yes when you mean no. If you mean no, your yes will be harnessed with resentment. Say yes only when your yes is given freely.

22. Let others know you are grateful. Tell them and show them that you feel blessed to have them in your life.

23. Never play the guilt card. Don’t try to manipulate or hurt someone by trying to make them feel bad about their choices, decisions, or actions.

24. Give more than is expected. Don’t over-commit, but freely give more than you promise.

25. Be inter-developmental in your relationships. Don’t be controlling, dependent or co-dependent. Create relationships that are mutually uplifting, reward, and satisfying.

26. Be a big person. Don’t try to take credit, diminish others, or hold back on praise. Offer acknowledgment and power when it is needed and deserved.

27. Be confident enough to be humble. Be able to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your flaws and failures, and accept that they don’t define you.

28. Be open to learning. Don’t flaunt your intelligence or superior knowledge. Recognize that there is always something to learn, even from those who appear “less than.”

29. Be more engaged than engaging. Show your sincere interest in others. Use the word “you” more than “I.” Listen intently and reflect back to others who they are.

30. Give gifts that others want. Not just gifts to impress or that are important to you.

31. Challenge yourself constantly. Don’t settle for mediocre. Don’t languish in past accomplishments. Keep moving forward and exude enthusiasm about possibilities and the actions to make them happen.

32. Detach from adrenaline. Simplify your life enough so you are not rushed, stressed, cluttered, or distracted. Allow yourself time and room to focus.

33. Embrace the incredible power of now. Nothing is more valuable than this moment. Make it the best moment you possibly can right now.

34. Don’t fight the flow. Don’t struggle against people or situations you can’t control. Move effortlessly in a different direction.

35. Keep evolving. Stay on a path of self-improvement and stay alert for opportunities for shifts and growth.
motivations  inspiration  strengths  affirmations  personal_growth  self-improvement  immediacy  simplicity  focus  movingonup  gift_ideas  listening  continuous_learning  humility  praise  relationships  overdeliver  gratitude  sincerity  authenticity  self-awareness  constructive_criticism  foregiveness  values  self-starters  healthy_lifestyles  gossip  self-analysis  self-assessment  self-satisfaction  complacency  personal_energy  span_of_control  disconnecting  rainmaking  individual_initiative  beyond_one's_control  next_play  walking_away 
august 2014 by jerryking
After moving here, I think Americans would be happier if they were Canadians - The Globe and Mail
JACOB BUURMA
Contributed to The Globe and Mail
Published Monday, Jun. 30 2014

As a country with two official languages, there’s always a second opinion, a perennial need to co-operate across cultural lines to move forward. Until that moment, I didn’t grasp that humility, empathy and co-operation are the virtues that actually matter on the world stage.

Canadian theologian Victor Shepherd says that the depth of our relationships is measured by the degree to which they change us. If we have been married to someone for 35 years but remain unchanged, we actually don’t know our spouse at all....Americans tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. I still find this a virtue, but no longer an unqualified one. In truth, my high-school football team set records for consecutive losses; something more than “pep” was needed to turn it around.

By comparison, I’ve found Canada’s capacity for honest observation a helpful corrective. After a dozen years north of the border, I’m listening more and speaking less. I’m more aware of “the other.”
crossborder  immigrants  relationships  Canadian  values  patriotism  virtues  humility  empathy  co-operation  world_stage 
july 2014 by jerryking
45 Ultimate Tips For Men. Number 40 Will Help You Go Far In Life.
45 Ultimate Tips For Men. Number 40 Will Help You Go Far In Life.
18th March 2014
advice  lists  tips  inspiration  masculinity  relationships 
march 2014 by jerryking
Market Trends and Retailers’ Strategies in Fresh Produce
26-27 April 2007 | Dr. Marian Garcia, Kent Business School, University of Kent.

Suppliers of fresh produce are less able to differentiate their products at the consumer level
==> They are in a weak bargaining position as price differentiation is almost the only available strategy.

Impact on Fresh Produce Suppliers
* Despite increasing rationalization of the supply base, retailers are still able to switch volumes between suppliers of fresh produce.
* As a result, suppliers of fresh produce are often forced to accept low prices in order to get volume growth, which does little to improve their immediate and long-term financial performance.
* In response to consumer trends and marketing demands, innovative growers of fresh produce have increased their cooperation and involvement with buyers and other members of the supply chain to ensure their produce meet consumer expectations.
* Closer relationships between the various members in the supply chain, ensure information is shared and can be used to improve the competitive position of all members in that supply chain.
fresh_produce  marketing  trends  consolidation  information_flows  grocery  supermarkets  OPMA  strategies  retailers  Tesco  Sainsbury's  ASDA  supply_chains  private_labels  relationships 
january 2014 by jerryking
Executive search firm rebuilds after staff defections - The Globe and Mail
RICHARD BLACKWELL

The Globe and Mail

Published Thursday, Jan. 09 2014

The shift to specialization in the executive-search business has partly been spurred by social media, Mr. Lovas said. Using sites such as LinkedIn, it is easy for anyone to come up with a list of chief financial officers, for example, but only a recruiter with a specialization in CFOs will have the knowledge and relationships necessary to determine who is truly qualified for a position and get them to consider a job change.

Another major shift in the head-hunting business, he said, is the increasing need to find interim managers to run a client company until a permanent employee can be found.

Indeed, the “interim management” business could be a bigger business than the basic executive search business within a decade, Mr. Lovas said. “It is one of the great trends in recruiting going forward.”
executive_search  professional_service_firms  relationships  LinkedIn  CFOs  interim  executive_management  defections 
january 2014 by jerryking
How to leave your company better off than you found it - The Globe and Mail
VINCE MOLINARO

Special to The Globe and Mail

Published Thursday, Jan. 02 2014

How can you ensure that you are leaving your organization in better shape than when you took the reins? True leaders typically take the following steps:

1. Commit to making things better every single day – in ways that position your organization for both short- and long-term success. Don’t be a bystander and watch problems fester; have the courage to tackle them head on.

2. Guard the interests of the whole organization. Don’t just focus on your own department or self-interests.

3. Try to anticipate threats that can put your organization at risk. Stay plugged into what you hear from customers or employees close to customers. This is often where the early warning signs exist.
4. Build strong relationships both inside and outside your organization.
5. Develop an unyielding commitment to building a strong culture that drives high employee engagement.
6. Develop leaders for the future.
legacies  leadership  RBC  Gord_Nixon  stewardship  companywide  leaders  CEOs  employee_engagement  organizational_culture  leadership_development  relationships  anticipating  threats  thinking_holistically  long-term  short-term  incrementalism  nobystanders  warning_signs 
january 2014 by jerryking
The Unlobbyists - NYTimes.com
By THOMAS B. EDSALL
Published: December 31, 2013

‘relationship lobbying’ is dead, or at least not where the growth will be.” The traditional lobbyist, he argues, is no longer the éminence grise of days past but instead has been reduced to serving as a conduit for campaign contributions from corporate and trade association PACs to candidates.

The action has shifted to what is known in the business as strategic advice: how to convince and mobilize voters and opinion elites in support of a client’s agenda.... So what does this new strategic adviser actually do? He or she can plan out a legislative campaign or a drive to affect the implementation of regulation, determine which officials and agencies must be dealt with, and propose potential coalition partners.

Interestingly, all this can be done without making direct contact with elected officials, congressional aides or top-ranked department and agency appointees and employees. This arms-length approach permits strategic advisers to avoid lobbying registration and reporting requirements.
campaign_contributions  lobbying  public_relations  Communicating_&_Connecting  Washington_D.C.  WPP  relationships  advice  campaigns  Inside_the_Beltway 
january 2014 by jerryking
The man with the key to China: Barrick Gold’s quest to open new doors - The Globe and Mail
Dec. 06 2013 | The Globe and Mail | RACHELLE YOUNGLAI - MINING REPORTER.

The former Goldman Sachs president has spent more than 20 years working with Chinese policymakers. He shares Mr. Munk’s vision of turning Barrick into a diversified mining giant and tapping China to join the effort...Mr. Thornton said his Barrick talks with the Chinese have been with the highest levels of the communist government right on down the system. He stresses he does not want what he calls a “transactional” or one-off deal with the Chinese. He wants to build an enduring relationship with the government...Mr. Thornton envisions Barrick first doing one “thing that is relatively modest” with the Chinese. For example, he says Barrick could consider a Chinese construction company for Pascua Lama. Mr. Thornton has not spoken to any such companies about the South American mine and says it’s only an example.

Michael Evans, a Goldman vice-chairman who worked with Mr. Thornton for years in London and Asia, describes Mr. Thornton as a hugely strategic operator who “loves flawless execution” and prefers to work behind the scenes...In the mid-1990s, Mr. Thornton got wind that the vice-premier at the time, Zhu Rongji, wanted to reform some of the country’s state-owned telecoms.

Mr. Thornton, who had taken Britain’s Vodafone public in the late-1980s, arranged for a meeting with the number 2 banker at the newly formed state-owned Chinese investment bank, a Chinese national who did not speak English.

Through a translator late at night in Beijing, Mr. Thornton said: “Here’s the real situation, you call yourself a banker and yet you know nothing about banking. I am in charge of Goldman Sachs Asia and China and I know nothing about any one of those. So we have a perfect marriage here. You’re going to teach me China and I am going to teach you banking and I am going to make you look like a hero in front of Zhu Rongji and everyone else who is important to you. And I don’t need any visibility, credit, anything. All I want to do is understand China out of this whole process.”

Mr. Thornton stressed his experience with Vodafone...
Barrick  gold  mining  John_Thornton  CEOs  relationships  Goldman_Sachs  personal_connections  Tsinghua  boards_&_directors_&_governance  barter  transactional_relationships 
december 2013 by jerryking
Networking to grow your business
1. Build your ideal network
Identify who can provide introductions to the people you want to meet, whether it’s potential clients, investors or employees. Meeting people in professional settings, such as conferences or trade shows, or even getting to know the suppliers, clients or competitors of your target clients will help you build your ideal network. Don’t be afraid to ask for introductions.

2. Create a networking strategy
Develop an action plan to connect with each person on your list. Leverage existing networks, acquaintances and events. Social media tools, such es LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, are also powerful marketing tools that all; ggoeliont way to tap into broad social circles and establish a strong network.

3. Nurture and deepen your relationships
Prioritize the relationships that are most important for your business goals and manage your relationships to get the most benefit. Follow up and solidify your relationships by - 1 W * “J staying in touch on a regular basis over an extended period of time. A smaller network of high value contacts may serve you better than a larger network. Ensure that you are getting value by tracking your activities and the results they produce.

For more information, visit cibc.com/smallbusinessgrowth.
networking  howto  social_media  relationships  LinkedIn  conferences  action_plans  following_up 
december 2013 by jerryking
Boardroom shifts spell trouble for big banks
Nov. 26 2013 | The Globe and Mail | BOYD ERMAN.
New directors bring new relationships, and Canada’s greying boardrooms herald an opportunity for foreign and independent investment banks that are steadily making inroads in the Canadian market...The days are long gone of an investment banker sitting on a Canadian company’s board and steering all the advisory business to his own bank (let’s be honest, odds are it was a man). Rules on director conflicts have largely ended that. But name a Canadian company and most people in finance can recite the house banker, and it’s often one that does the lending.

Those relationships are not going to just go away. But the potential for conflict of interest is going to mean that the major banks are going to find themselves sharing merger fees more often with outside firms that are independent. Board renewal is only going to accelerate that.
Boyd_Erman  boards_&_directors_&_governance  conflicts_of_interest  advice  banks  demographic_changes  investment_banking  Bay_Street  mergers_&_acquisitions  M&A  relationships 
november 2013 by jerryking
Always Go to the Funeral
August 08, 2005 | NPR | by Deirdre Sullivan.
inspiration  radio  friendships  relationships 
november 2013 by jerryking
The Real Reason Couples Have Sex - WSJ.com
October 21, 2013, 6:51 p.m. ET

The Real Reason Couples Have Sex
Two New Studies Examine What Motivates Couples to Have Sex

By
ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Elizabeth_Bernstein  relationships  marriage  sex 
october 2013 by jerryking
In Indonesia, Consultants Give Nation of Shy Men a Love Makeover - WSJ.com
September 10, 2013 | WSJ | by SHIBANI MAHTANI.

In Indonesia, Consultants Give Nation of Shy Men a Love Makeover
Young Men Sign Up for Lessons on Modern Courtship
courtship  relationships  funnies  Indonesia  dating  howto 
september 2013 by jerryking
To Test a Relationship, Take a Trip Requiring a Map - Scene Asia - WSJ
September 2, 2013, 7:00 AM

To Test a Relationship, Take a Trip Requiring a Map

Article
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Scene Asia HOME PAGE »

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By Debra Bruno
travel  relationships  China 
september 2013 by jerryking
Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage | love story from the male perspective
1. Never stop courting
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.

This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.


2. Protect your own heart
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife.

Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again
You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday.

SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her
Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her
Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability...
...For your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.



7. Never blame your wife if you...
get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed.

You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean.

The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET.

Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly…
don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday…
learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.



12. Be willing to take her sexually...
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot
And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space
The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.

(Okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable…
You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent
relationships  divorce  tips  marriage  romantic_love  living_in_the_moment  emotional_mastery 
august 2013 by jerryking
My ex doesn’t want to be a father to our child. Should I accept it? - The Globe and Mail
DAVID EDDIE

Special to The Globe and Mail

Published Thursday, Jul. 04 2013

The girl currently taking shape in your uterus will one day want to: 1) know who her father is; 2) spend time with him; 3) have her shoelaces tied, bandages applied, be dropped off and picked up at school, be taken to the doctor and maybe even the emergency room, be hugged and consoled when her pet dies, have things explained – like how flowers grow and who would win in a battle between Godzilla and a T-Rex.
fatherhood  advice  relationships 
july 2013 by jerryking
Couples Facing the Ordeal of Cancer - NYTimes.com
May 27, 2013, 12:01 am 44 Comments
Battling Cancer Together
By JANE E. BRODY
cancers  relationships  marriage  Communicating_&_Connecting 
may 2013 by jerryking
Texas Firm Highlights Struggle for Black Professionals - NYTimes.com
May 27, 2013 | NYT | By NELSON D. SCHWARTZ and
MICHAEL COOPER.

Somewhat lost in the legal arguments over affirmative action are the less tangible, more subtle forces that can determine professional success, more than a dozen black lawyers here, in San Antonio and elsewhere in Texas said in interviews. Social rituals can play a big role in determining who makes it on to the partnership track in the exclusive world of white-shoe firms, and whether those partners can bring in business as rainmakers.

Gerald Roberts, an African-American lawyer who was a partner at Thompson & Knight before leaving in 2010, said that social relationships left some black lawyers at a distance from their white colleagues and potential clients. “For the most part, they don’t go to church together on Sunday enough, they don’t have dinner together enough, and they don’t play enough golf together to develop sufficiently strong relationships of trust and confidence,”
diversity  African-Americans  lawyers  law_firms  law  professional_service_firms  Texas  relationships  rituals  social_exclusion  social_barriers  cultural_signifiers 
may 2013 by jerryking
Professional firms: Simply the best
Apr 13th 2013 | The Economist |

What It Takes: Seven Secrets of Success from the World’s Greatest Professional Firms. By Charles Ellis. Wiley; 290 pages; $40 and £26.99.

During a long career advising senior professionals, Mr Ellis found that a handful of firms were almost universally regarded by their peers as the best in their particular business. As well as McKinsey (management consulting) and Goldman (investment banking), they included Capital Group (investment management), the Mayo Clinic (health care) and Cravath, Swaine & Moore (law). He was surprised to discover that each of the firms had several things in common. These include leaders who devote their lives to serving their firm rather than enriching themselves (though that tended to follow naturally), a good sense of what motivates staff to get up early and work late and the ability to get individualistic professionals to function unusually well in teams.

Above all, these firms are fanatical about recruiting new employees who are not just the most talented but also the best suited to a particular corporate culture. These firms’ bosses spend a disproportionate amount of time on the recruitment process, often putting it before other more immediately lucrative demands on their time. McKinsey interviews 200,000 people each year, but selects just over 1%.

Each McKinsey applicant can be interviewed eight times before being offered a job; at Goldman, twice that is not unheard of. At Capital a serious candidate is likely to be seen by 20 people, some more than once. Recruitment, these firms believe, is the start of a lifelong relationship. At the same time, Goldman and McKinsey also have a policy of helping their staff to find suitable work elsewhere, all in the expectation that they will eventually become loyal customers.
best_of  books  book_reviews  disproportionality  Goldman_Sachs  high-achieving  lifelong  McKinsey  organizational_culture  outplacement  overachievers  professional_service_firms  recruiting  relationships  selection_processes  selectivity  serving_others  talent_management 
april 2013 by jerryking
Late Marriage and Its Consequences
Ross Douthat - Just another nytimes.com Blogs weblog
March 22, 2013, 8:48 am
Late Marriage and Its Consequences
marriage  relationships 
march 2013 by jerryking
A Spy-Gear Arms Race Transforms the Modern Divorce - WSJ.com
October 6, 2012

A Spy-Gear Arms Race Transforms Modern Divorce

By STEVE EDER and JENNIFER VALENTINO-DEVRIES
relationships  divorce 
march 2013 by jerryking
Best Advice: Always Show Your Friendship First | LinkedIn
Dave Kerpen
CEO, Likeable Local, NY Times Best-Selling Author & Keynote Speaker
Best Advice: Always Show Your Friendship First
relationships  Communicating_&_Connecting 
february 2013 by jerryking
10 Ways to Show Your Spouse Love - WSJ.com
February 11, 2013 | WSJ | By ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Small Acts, Big Love
People Who Put Their Mates' Needs First Make Themselves Happier Too
relationships  Elizabeth_Bernstein 
february 2013 by jerryking
Where the Singles Are: A Dating Guide by ZIP Code - NYTimes.com
February 11, 2013, 7:40 pm2 Comments
Where the Singles Are: A Dating Guide by ZIP Code
By STEVE LOHR
dating  real_estate  Steve_Lohr  relationships  data  data_driven  neighbourhoods 
february 2013 by jerryking
The awful truth about being single - The Globe and Mail
Margaret Wente

The Globe and Mail

Last updated Sunday, Jan. 20 2013
Margaret_Wente  relationships  solo 
february 2013 by jerryking
Meet Bay St.'s new breed of deal makers
April 4, 2007 | G&M pg. B10 | by Jacquie McNish.

Days after Ottawa's Halloween clampdown on income trusts, a team of Bay Street dealmakers flew to New York to alert a handful of private equity funds to potential Canadian trust takeovers.

Investment bankers pitch deals to ravenous private equity buyers all the time, but this group was unique because they were lawyers.

Canadian firms can no longer be complacent about private equity deals. As traditional Canadian corporate clients fall on the takeover battleground, Canada’s major firms are moving quickly to grab their share of private equity deals.

Some law firms are wooing private equity funds by aggressively promoting deals, while most are starting to share risks by taking fee cuts on unsuccessful takeovers and pocketing fee premiums on deal victories.

A few are so eager to represent the powerful acquirers that a single firm will act for multiple buyers vying for the same target.

The deal frenzy is shifting legal M&A away from long-term relationships to a more transaction-oriented practice that is seeing firms hop in and out of deals with an ever-changing group of buyers and sellers.

Stephen Donovan, co-head of Torys’ Private Equity Group, adds, "It is no longer enough to just know the law. There is a much more deliberate effort to bring deals to clients."
deal-making  dealmakers  lawyers  law_firms  Bay_Street  private_equity  prospectuses  complacency  crossborder  M&A  risk-sharing  transactions  relationships  transactional_relationships  rescue_investing  pitches  proactivity  entrepreneurial  opportunistic 
january 2013 by jerryking
Laura Doyle: Women: Five Reasons Your Divorce Is Your Fault
Laura Doyle

Best-selling Author
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Women: Five Reasons Your Divorce Is Your Fault
Posted: 01/02/2013
relationships  divorce 
january 2013 by jerryking
The Petraeus affair: It’s time we quit feigning outrage over infidelity
Nov. 15 2012 | The Globe and Mail |KATRINA ONSTAD, Special to The Globe and Mail
David_Petraeus  infidelity  marriage  relationships 
december 2012 by jerryking
You Have to Negotiate For Everything in Life, So Get Good at It Now - WSJ.com
January 27, 1998 | WSJ |By HAL LANCASTER

What kind of negotiation is it, asks Peter J. Pestillo, executive vice president of corporate relations for Ford Motor and one of the auto industry's leading labor negotiators. If it's a one-time-only event, you can concentrate on the result, he says. But if there's an ongoing relationship involved, "victory is making both sides feel satisfied," he says. "Take only what you need and don't try to make anybody look bad."...The toughest part of negotiating, Ms. Pravda says, is listening -- really listening -- to the other side. "Most people who negotiate like to talk," she explains, but if you understand their problem, you can craft a creative solution. "It doesn't hurt to say, 'I hear your problem; I don't know yet how to get there, but let me think about it,' " she says. "You become part of their team trying to solve their problem."

In career-related negotiations, she suggests anticipating concerns and lining up allies before making your pitch. In one case, she relates, an inexperienced associate seeking a new assignment lined up a senior associate to supervise him before making the request. "So he'd already taken care of my concerns," she says. In job-related negotiations, also, you must explain not only why the request is good for you, but for the company, she says.
Hal_Lancaster  negotiations  listening  Communicating_&_Connecting  win-win  anticipating  preparation  relationships  one-time_events  empathy 
december 2012 by jerryking
Divorcing Well - WSJ.com
February 13, 2008 | WSJ |By Jonathan Clements
My Valentine's Gift to You: How to Divorce the Right Way
personal_finance  relationships  Jonathan_Clements  divorce 
december 2012 by jerryking
New Love - A Short Shelf Life - NYTimes.com
By SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY
Published: December 1, 2012
relationships 
december 2012 by jerryking
CIA Director Petraeus Resigns Due to Extramarital Affair - WSJ.com
November 9, 2012 | WSJ | By NEIL KING JR. And CAROL E. LEE.
CIA's Petraeus Resigns Due to Extramarital Affair
CIA  David_Petraeus  relationships 
november 2012 by jerryking
When Forgiveness Isn't a Virtue - WSJ.com
October 29, 2012, 5:01 p.m. ET

When Forgiveness Isn't a Virtue

By ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Elizabeth_Bernstein  relationships  foregiveness 
october 2012 by jerryking
The Dating Game Gets Partisan, With Politics a Deal Breaker - WSJ.com
October 28, 2012 | WSJ | By ELIZABETH WILLIAMSON.
The Dating Game Gets Partisan, With Politics a Deal Breaker
Opposites Aren't So Attractive; Voting Record Trumps Religion, Looks and Schooling
dating  relationships  Campaign_2012 
october 2012 by jerryking
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