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jerryking : sacrifice   11

What Romantic Regime Are You In?
MARCH 7, 2017 | The New York Times | David Brooks.

In Russia, people tend to regard love as a sort of divine madness that descends from the heavens. Love is regarded... as “a destiny, a moral act and a value; it is irresistible, it requires sacrifice and implies suffering and pain....In America people tend to ask: Does a partner fulfill your needs? Do you feel comfortable asserting your rights in the relationship? Does your partner check the right boxes?

While Russians pursue a "Regime of Fate", Americans seek a "Regime of Choice".....The most important requirement for choice is not the availability of multiple options...but the existence of a savvy, sovereign chooser who is well aware of his needs and who acts on the basis of self-interest. Brooks sees those who have mastered the notion of lifelong commitment to belong to a third regime, one he calls the Regime of Covenants in which a covenant is not a choice, but a life-altering promise and all the binding the promise entails.....In the Regime of Covenants, making the right one-time selection is less important than the ongoing action to serve the relationship.

The Covenant people tend to have a “we” consciousness. The good of the relationship itself comes first and the needs of the partner are second and the individual needs are third. The covenant only works if each partner, as best as possible, puts the other’s needs above his or her own, with the understanding that the other will reciprocate....Covenant Regimes require a framework in which exit is not an easy option, in which you’re assured the other person’s love is not going away, and in which the only way to survive the crises is to go deeper into the relationship itself.

The final feature of a covenant is that the relationship is not just about itself; it serves some larger purpose. The obvious one in many cases is raising children. But the deeper one is transformation. People in such a covenant try to love the other in a way that brings out their loveliness. They hope that through this service they’ll become a slightly less selfish version of themselves.
romantic_love  David_Brooks  reciprocity  self-interest  serving_others  covenants  Russia  lifelong  marriage  relationships  commitments  sacrifice  transformational  parenting 
march 2017 by jerryking
What Drives Success? - NYTimes.com
JAN. 25, 2014 | NYT | By AMY CHUA and JED RUBENFELD.

the strikingly successful groups in America today share three traits that, together, propel success. The first is a superiority complex — a deep-seated belief in their exceptionality. The second appears to be the opposite — insecurity, a feeling that you or what you’ve done is not good enough. The third is impulse control.

Any individual, from any background, can have what we call this Triple Package of traits. But research shows that some groups are instilling them more frequently than others, and that they are enjoying greater success.

It’s odd to think of people feeling simultaneously superior and insecure. Yet it’s precisely this unstable combination that generates drive: a chip on the shoulder, a goading need to prove oneself. Add impulse control — the ability to resist temptation — and the result is people who systematically sacrifice present gratification in pursuit of future attainment.

Ironically, each element of the Triple Package violates a core tenet of contemporary American thinking....The same factors that cause poverty — discrimination, prejudice, shrinking opportunity — can sap from a group the cultural forces that propel success. Once that happens, poverty becomes more entrenched. In these circumstances, it takes much more grit, more drive and perhaps a more exceptional individual to break out.
brainpower  willpower  poverty  movingonup  Amy_Chua  Mormons  ethnic_communities  immigrants  ksfs  self-discipline  perseverance  achievement_gaps  paranoia  Sonia_Sotomayor  overachievers  sacrifice  delayed_gratification  impulse_control  insecurity  exceptionality  superiority_complex  dual-consciousness  cultural_values  hardships 
january 2014 by jerryking
The FDIC's Sheila Bair: Going bare-knuckled against Wall Street - The Globe and Mail
Jun. 22 2013 | The Globe and Mail | KEVIN CARMICHAEL.

Deposit insurance agencies are vital to the smooth functioning of the financial system. Without them, banks would face cascading withdrawals at the first whisper of trouble. Yet within the constellation of financial regulators, deposit insurance agencies are more like Mars or Venus, dominated by the Jupiter-like presences of the finance ministries, central banks and securities commissions....Sherrod Brown and David Vitter, Democratic and Republican senators respectively, have co-sponsored legislation that would force the biggest banks to hold equity equal to 15 per cent of assets, which is much more onerous than current law. An idea that Ms. Bair long has advocated as a way to make the biggest banks less risky – forcing them to hold higher levels of long-term debt – is catching on with policy makers.....How did it get so bad? Ms. Bair has a theory. Over eggs and oatmeal in December, she explained what it was like to be on Capitol Hill in the 1980s, when Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill, the Democratic speaker of the House of Representatives, made an agreement to overhaul the tax code. That generation of leaders was influenced by the Second World War; many had fought in it. Such experience teaches you to “put country first,” Ms. Bair says. “We’re the pampered Baby Boom generation. We’re not willing to make the sacrifices as much as our parents were.”
too_big_to_fail  FDIC  financial_system  Sheila_Bair  profile  women  Wall_Street  WWII  the_Greatest_Generation  regulators  sacrifice  baby_boomers  Kevin_Carmichael  shared_experiences  shared_consciousness  policymaking  tax_codes 
june 2013 by jerryking
Carpe Diem Nation - NYTimes.com
February 11, 2013 | NYT | By DAVID BROOKS.

Europeans who settled America gave their lives a slingshot shape. They pulled back so they could shoot forward. They volunteered to live in harsh conditions today so their descendants could live well for centuries. The pioneers who traveled West did the same thing. So has each generation of immigrants — sacrificing the present for the sake of the future.

This slingshot manner of life led to one of those true national clichés:..This future-oriented mentality had practical effects. For decades, government invested heavily in long-range projects like railroads and canals...Today, Americans have inverted this way of thinking. Instead of sacrificing the present for the sake of the future, Americans now sacrifice the future for the sake of the present...Why have Americans lost their devotion to the future? Part of the answer must be cultural. The Great Depression and World War II forced Americans to live with 16 straight years of scarcity. In the years after the war, people decided they’d had enough. There was what one historian called a “renunciation of renunciation.” We’ve now had a few generations raised with this consumption mind-set. There’s less of a sense that life is a partnership among the dead, the living and the unborn, with obligations to those to come....If the president were to propose an agenda for the future, he’d double spending on the National Institutes of Health. He’d approve the Keystone XL pipeline. He’d cut corporate tax rates while adding a progressive consumption tax. He’d take money from Social Security and build Harlem Children’s Zone-type projects across the nation. He’d means test Medicare and use the money to revive state universities and pay down debt.
David_Brooks  future  Obama  Great_Depression  WWII  instant_gratification  intergenerational_rivalry  delayed_gratification  foresight  far-sightedness  forward_looking  sacrifice  Keystone_XL  long-term  social_trust  consumption  the_Greatest_Generation  Carpe_diem  long-range  railroads  canals 
february 2013 by jerryking
Time for Strategic Planning in the African Canadian Community
November 21, 2007 | PRIDE | Israelin Shockness.

"However, through collective action and some sacrifice, they are able to accomplish a great deal, because they are showing, not telling, the children and youth how they should live" "As a community, we have to think strategically, seeing each other as co-workers and not as competitors, and seeing the children and your in our community as our children and youth, and not as Mr. Jone's children or Ms. Rose's kids."
African_Canadians  co-workers  collective_action  distrust  disunity  ethnic_communities  institutions  institution-building  rivalries  sacrifice  strategic_thinking  strategic_planning  support_systems  Toronto 
november 2012 by jerryking
Falling SAT Scores, Widening Achievement Gap - Brian Resnick - National -
Sep 16 2011 | The Atlantic | By Brian Resnick..."I am married
to an Asian immigrant and live in an Asian neighborhood...getting a 'C'
on a report card is a mark of shame...Asian kids do not go and play
after school - they do their homework, study then their parents quiz
them on what they studied.l.... And Asians will sacrifice in order to
live in areas with good schools "..."My 97% of my graduating high school
class didn't know what an adjective was. It's not money, it's not race,
it's the educational system. We're running an old system that was used
to just drone info into children, as the results show that's no longer
working, we're not in the industrial age anymore. We need to go back and
revise how we teach kids. We can't just focus on math and sciences
anymore, imo we need to evaluate children and place them in the areas
that obviously interest them instead of trying to cram multiple subjects
into their heads. "
achievement_gaps  commentators  students  high_schools  racial_disparities  SAT  standardized_testing  sacrifice 
september 2011 by jerryking
The Whole Truth and Nothing But - NYTimes.com
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
September 6, 2011

In America, says Kishore Mahbubani, dean of the Lee Kuan Yew School of
Public Policy at the National University of Singapore, “No U.S. leaders
dare to tell the truth to the people. All their pronouncements rest on a
mythical assumption that ‘recovery’ is around the corner. Implicitly,
they say this is a normal recession. But this is no normal recession.
There will be no painless solution. ‘Sacrifice’ will be needed, and the
American people know this. But no American politician dares utter the
word ‘sacrifice.’ Painful truths cannot be told.”
truth-telling  Kishore_Mahbubani  Singapore  Tom_Friedman  sacrifice 
september 2011 by jerryking
The New Normal - NYTimes.com
February 28, 2011 | NYT | By DAVID BROOKS. The U.S. is going
to be doing a lot of deficit cutting over the next several years. The
country’s future greatness will be shaped by whether those cuts are made
wisely or stupidly. Brooks proffers the following principles to guide
the cuts.
#1. Make Everybody Hurt. The sacrifice should be spread widely and
fairly.
#2. Make Conscious Tradeoffs. Trim from the old to invest in the young. We should adjust pension
promises and reduce the amount of $ spent on health care during the last
months of life so we can preserve programs for those who are growing
and learning the most.
# 3. Never cut without an evaluation process. Before legislators and
governors chop a section of the budget, they should make a list of all
the relevant programs, grading each option and then start paying for
them from the top down.
cutbacks  deficits  effectiveness  fairness  Octothorpe_Software  David_Brooks  municipalities  decision_making  austerity  sacrifice  new_normal  tradeoffs  priorities  assessments_&_evaluations 
march 2011 by jerryking
Op-Ed Columnist - Superbroke, Superfrugal, Superpower? - NYTimes.com
September 4, 2010 ! NYT ! By Tom FRIEDMAN. Builds on the
message contained in “The Frugal Superpower: America’s Global Leadership
in a Cash-Strapped Era” a very timely book by Michael Mandelbaum. How
to mitigate this trend? Mandelbaum argues for 3 things: (1) we need to
get ourselves back on a sustainable path to economic growth and
reindustrialization, with whatever sacrifices, hard work and political
consensus that requires. (2), we need to set priorities. We have enjoyed
a century in which we could have, in foreign policy terms, both what is
vital and what is desirable. e.g. with infinite men & money we can
succeed in Afghanistan. But is it vital? it may be desirable, but
vital? (3), we need to shore up our balance sheet and weaken that of our
enemies, and the best way to do that in one move is with a much higher
gasoline tax. ..There was a time when thinking seriously about U.S.
foreign policy did not require thinking seriously about economic policy.
That time is also over.
Tom_Friedman  U.S.foreign_policy  imperial_overstretch  cash-strapped  geopolitics  austerity  economic_policy  priorities  sacrifice  reindustrialization  frugality  superpowers  hard_work 
september 2010 by jerryking
Sacrifice and the Greatest Generation - WSJ.com
JUNE 6, 2009 | Wall Street Journal | Tom Brokaw. These are
the young Americans who went thousands of miles and defeated the
mightiest military empires ever unleashed against us.
WWII  sacrifice  commemoration  adversity  The_Greatest_Generation 
june 2009 by jerryking

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