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jerryking : self-respect   5

Leah McLaren: Considering marriage? Mind the Expectations Gap - The Globe and Mail
LEAH MCLAREN
Special to The Globe and Mail
Published Thursday, May 26, 2016

the Expectations Gap. This is the idea that the sort of women who tend to marry are often the sort of women who tend to have – shall we say – untenable expectations of the benefits their union is going to provide. I’m not just talking about deluded contestants on The Bachelor who think some guy putting a big sparkly ring on it is going to lead to a life of eternal, soft-focus bliss. I’m talking about myself.....[marrying anyone man with whom you share few-to-zero important life goals will not make you feel safe and centred].....offer the following piece of advice to any young person thinking of getting married: Be realistic in your expectations and understand that marriage, for most of us, is not the panacea our culture promises it to be. Respect yourself. Respect your partner. And if you really want to be safe, just don’t get married at all.
marriage  relationships  Leah_McLaren  expectations  self-respect 
july 2017 by jerryking
The Enduring Hunt for Personal Value - NYTimes.com
MAY 1, 2015 | NYT |By TONY SCHWARTZ.

Once our basic needs are met, we human beings arguably crave value above all else. We each want desperately to matter, to feel a sense of worthiness. ...There is a problem in that we can so easily be seduced into believing that generating more external value – whether in the form of wealth, status or even achievement — leads to a greater sense of internal value. Each of these, pursued as a means to ensure our value, delivers diminishing returns over time.

Any single-minded pursuit, unmoored to a deeper purpose, has the potential to take on the characteristics of an addiction. More and more is required to obtain the same high, and the compulsion of the pursuit prompts a growing sense of the despair and unworthiness it is meant to solve.
values  self-respect  Tony_Schwartz  workplaces  diminishing_returns  addictions  worthiness 
may 2015 by jerryking
We make our own social programs
Jul. 28 2012 | The Globe and Mail |Craig Christie.

An element of a solution in this article: a parent (or parents) that demonstrated good work ethic and who promotes/instills the importance of education, to their kids. Without that, anything that is undertaken by organisations (government or non-government) will start out the gate with a handicap.
op-ed  Toronto  African_Canadians  responsibility  parenting  social_housing  work_ethic  values  gangs  violence  victimhood  self-help  role_models  self-reliance  self-respect  self-starters  libraries  JCA 
august 2012 by jerryking
In Hip-Hop, Women Trash Their Self-Respect - WSJ.com
In response to "In the Fray: Attacks on Rap Now Come From Within" by Martha Bayles, Leisure & Arts, April 28:

What is most shocking about our "booty-shaking" culture (and I'm including all of it -- rap videos, young white starlets posing half-naked on the cover of Maxim, college students baring it in "Girls Gone Wild") is that these women willingly strip down, turn around and bend over for the camera.

In this country, no one is putting a gun to their heads. In America, thanks to battles fought just a few short decades ago, women can -- more than ever before in history, and more than in most places in the world -- choose their lives and live in relative freedom. And what do we choose? To degrade ourselves. Good going, sisters.

What does this say about American women? Are we really so naïve as to think that the only way to build a lucrative career in entertainment, or to get the college boys to like us, or to support our families (certainly an argument of at least some of these women), is to consent to ever-more vulgar representations of our womanhood?

The women who are participating in this alarming proliferation of soft porn -- as well as the many more of us who are watching from the sidelines -- are willingly throwing hard-won freedoms out the window . . . and forgetting that these freedoms come with responsibility. Only self-respect begets respect.
letters_to_the_editor  hip_hop  women  self-respect  Martha_Bayles  respect  vulgarity 
november 2011 by jerryking
Working Things Out With a Giant Customer - WSJ.com
OCTOBER 17, 2006 WSJ article by ANN ZIMMERMAN.

Romano Pontes, a longtime apparel supplier to Wal-Mart Stores Inc. was told by Sam Walton "'If you believe in a point, scream it as loud as you can to whomever will listen to you,'". This spring, Mr. Pontes put Sam Walton's advice to the test and risked losing Wal-Mart, his biggest and most lucrative client, in the process. He and a Wal-Mart buyer had a disagreement over a shipment of apparel that wasn't selling.....Pontes says he decided to fight for what he thought was right. He thinks small-business owners who work with big corporations frequently are afraid to stick up for themselves, fearing they will ruin the relationship. He says that not giving in doesn't have to kill a business relationship. It can even strengthen it. "You have to speak your mind, but you have to say it nicely," says Mr. Pontes, 46 years old. "I never said, 'I want to sue you.' I just made my case.".....Mr. Pontes's company, Global Vision Inc., is one of 61,000 U.S. suppliers to Wal-Mart,....The company says it doesn't know how many supplier relationships end each year and how many new vendors they bring on board.....Each supplier has a different vendor agreement with Wal-Mart...Some contracts may specify that unsold products will be returned. It depends on the type of product and supplier.

Shouldn't vendors always have agreements like that in writing? "Not always,"

Not in Contract
Although Global Vision's contract with companies doesn't spell out the policy for merchandise that doesn't sell, Mr. Pontes says he had an unspoken agreement that "we would work things out."......To straighten out the situation, Mr. Pontes says, he started with two members of the buying team, who claimed Mr. Pontes had authorized the goods to be returned. Neither side would relent, so Mr. Pontes then made his case to a senior executive in the finance department in Wal-Mart's Bentonville, Ark., headquarters. This time, Mr. Pontes said that he would produce documentation that the merchandise wasn't defective and challenged the company to prove that it was.
A conference call was set up between Mr. Pontes and a general-merchandise manager. But two hours before the scheduled call, Mr. Pontes says he canceled and sent an email instead, claiming he had stopped shipments on Wal-Mart orders to locations around the world. He added that other buyers in Puerto Rico were interested in buying Wal-Mart's 1,296-piece order of T-shirts and board shorts by Quicksilver, a trendy teen brand.

Less than two hours later, Wal-Mart emailed back, saying it would pay for the original Ocean Pacific order and wanted it shipped back to Puerto Rico....Says Mr. Pontes: "You have to have courage and guts, elevate it as high as you can. If you leave it at the buyer's level, they'll bury you. I went four levels higher than whoever is in charge of our accounting."
apparel  disputes  enterprise_clients  escalation  Gulliver_strategies  large_companies  self-respect  small_business  start_ups  supply_chains  Wal-Mart 
march 2009 by jerryking

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