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20 Brutal Truths About Life No One Wants to Admit
SEP 7, 2016 | Inc.com | By Matthew Jones.

1. You're going to die and you have no idea when.
Stop pretending that you're invincible. Acknowledge the fact of your own mortality, and then start structuring your life in a more meaningful way.

2. Everyone you love is going to die, and you don't know when.
This truth may be saddening at first, but it also gives you permission to make amends with past difficulties and re-establish meaningful relationships with important figures in your life.

3. Your material wealth won't make you a better or happier person.
Even if you're one of the lucky ones who achieves his or her materialistic dreams, money only amplifies that which was already present.

4. Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.
Happiness is always present in your life--it's just a matter of connecting to it and allowing it to flow through you that's challenging.

5. Donating money does less than donating time.
Giving your time is a way to change your perception and create a memory for yourself and others that will last forever.

6. You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself.
Stop trying to please, and start respecting your values, principles, and autonomy.

7. You can't be perfect, and holding yourself to unrealistic standards creates suffering.
Many perfectionists have unrelenting inner critics that are full of so much rage and self-hate that it tears them apart inside. Fight back against that negative voice, amplify your intuition, and start challenging your unrealistic standards.

8. Your thoughts are less important than your feelings and your feelings need acknowledgment.
Intellectually thinking through your problems isn't as helpful as expressing the feelings that create your difficulties in the first place.

9. Your actions speak louder than your words, so you need to hold yourself accountable.
Be responsible and take actions that increase positivity and love.

10. Your achievements and successes won't matter on your death bed.
When your time has come to transition from this reality, you won't be thinking about that raise; you'll be thinking about the relationships you've made--so start acting accordingly.

11. Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.
Some of the most talented people in the world never move out from their parent's basement.

12. Now is the only time that matters, so stop wasting it by ruminating on the past or planning the future.
You can't control the past, and you can't predict the future, and trying to do so only removes you from the one thing you can control--the present.

13. Nobody cares how difficult your life is, and you are the author of your life's story.
Stop looking for people to give you sympathy and start creating the life story you want to read.

14. Your words are more important than your thoughts, so start inspiring people.
Words have the power to oppress, hurt, and shame, but they also have the power to liberate and inspire--start using them more wisely.

15. Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's the most worthwhile thing you can do.
You have to put on your own gas mask to save the person sitting right next to you.

16. It's not what happens, it's how you react that matters.
Train yourself to respond in a way that leads to better outcomes.

17. You need to improve your relationships to have lasting happiness.
Relationships have a greater impact on your wellbeing and happiness than your income or your occupation, so make sure you give your relationship the attention and work it deserves.

18. Pleasure is temporary and fleeting, so stop chasing fireworks and start building a constellation. Don't settle for an ego boost right now when you can delay gratification and experience deeper fulfillment.

19. Your ambition means nothing without execution--it's time to put in the work.
If you want to change the world, then go out there and do it!

20. Time is your most valuable asset--you need to prioritize how you spend it.
accountability  affirmations  autonomy  consistency  delayed_gratification  efforts  emotional_mastery  execution  good_enough  gut_feelings  happiness  hard_truths  invest_in_yourself  living_in_the_moment  mindfulness  mortality  mybestlife  no_sob_stories  practice  principles  priorities  relationships  serving_others  truth-telling  values  volunteering 
november 2019 by jerryking
Be a Potentiator - Mike Lipkin
April 25, 2019 | @ #CAIF2019 | Presentation and speech By Mike Lipkin.

1. Be Self-Savvy: Define your principles. Discern your impact. Play your role. Know what drives you. Know how you’re occurring to others. Know their expectations of you. Know thyself and thy relationship with others.
2. Develop Situational Sensibility: Get out there. Know the trends. Connect the dots. Context is decisive. Whoever understands their environment best wins. So expand your footprint. Study the data until it tells the truth. Anticipate the future by getting there first. Become your peers’ scout. Discover the new world for yourself and other will want to join you.
3. Make a Powerful Promise: Declare your purpose. Express your value proposition. Focus your execution. Know your personal mission. Know the unique benefit you give to others. Act accordingly. So my mission is to turn people into potentiators. My unique benefit is to excite people into remarkable action. I’m executing my promise through motivational messages like this one in any way I can. What are you doing?
4. Become Sublimely Skilled: Practice for real. Become the authority. Make it a pleasure. Whatever your level, be the best at that level. Learn from every experience. Communicate your knowledge with conviction. Light others up with your joie de vivre.
5. Build Robust Resilience: Interpret to win. Be prolific. Train like an athlete. We’re only as good as the stories that we tell ourselves. Make whatever happens meaningful. Do more things. Put the odds on your side. And train, train, train. Stamina is the rocket fuel of champions.
6. Grow Courageous Creativity: Unleash your imagination. Experiment like Edison. Talk, listen, learn. Dare to dream then declare your dream. Turn it into reality by trying something new. Fail fast until you fly high. Get in front of people and give them great conversation. Enrich their perspective while you expand yours.
7. Be Fanatically Faithworthy: Commit to your commitments. Come through in the crunch. Be the best you can be, every day. If you say it, do it. Make your word the one thing that others can always depend on. Become the go-to-person in a crisis. And, whatever happens, bring your A-Game every time. You can’t always be the best, but you can always be the best you can be that day.
8. Create Close Connections: Give First. Open yourself up. Become an insider. Generosity pays big dividends. Show what you can give them and others will show you the money. Get up, close and personal. Become integral to others’ wellbeing. If you build their trust, they will pay it forward all the way back to you.
9. Communicate Like a Champion: Say it like you mean it. Talk their language. Connect them to their purpose. How you say what you say is as important as what you say. Let your authenticity shine through but inject it with your passion. Be the reason why other people rediscover why they make a difference.
10. Cause Bold Breakthroughs: Own it. Celebrate the struggle. Finish like a professional. It’s not about the title. It’s about your skin in the game. It’s about taking on the responsibility for everyone else’s success, no matter what. You can’t always win, but you can always play to win. It’s meant to be hard. The pain is the price you pay to be a potentiator. Close strong and the force will be with you.
breakthroughs  CAIF  code_switching  commitments  Communicating_&_Connecting  connecting_the_dots  execution  inspiration  It's_up_to_me  Mike_Lipkin  motivations  purpose  self-awareness  self-knowledge  self-made  serving_others  situational_awareness  skin_in_the_game  torchbearers  value_propositions 
april 2019 by jerryking
How Small Companies Can Get Big, Fast
Apr 10, 2014, 07:00am
How Small Companies Can Get Big, Fast

Michael Skok

What’s in it For Them?

One mistake small companies make when they get the chance to approach a larger company is that they make the conversation about them, the little guy. They begin by asking how the large company can help them sell their product or service when it should be the other way around. The best way to make a partnership pitch is by approaching a company and telling them what you’re going to do for them.

So flip all the points above and ask yourself how you’ll pitch to your potential partner to ensure this is a must-have partnership for them.

Usually, one of the key benefits a large company will want to realize is competitive advantage from faster time-to-market and more nimble development. Start there and figure out how you can build out things like opportunities to increase average revenue per user or ARPU for them. But be prepared to prove it and don’t rush it. Like any relationship it needs to be two way.
Gulliver_strategies  large_companies  minimum_viable_products  partnerships  product-market_fit  serving_others  small_business  value_propositions 
december 2018 by jerryking
Bryan Roberts of Venrock on Seeing Problems as Opportunities - The New York Times
by ADAM BRYANT OCT. 13, 2017

Bryan Roberts always tries to interact with people who put other people front and center, rather than themselves. His reasoning....People who are self-directed generally gather accomplishments and accolades and are very happy to tell you about them. When people are company- or mission-directed, it manifests as humility, and they generally push credit off onto other people.....You’ve been at Venrock for 20 years. How many pitches have you heard from entrepreneurs over the years?

Probably about 25,000. I hate getting pitched, by the way. The part of the job I love is when you and I have decided to work together to go solve a problem that the world thinks can’t be solved.

I don’t like sitting on one side of the table trying to discern the problems you’re leaving out while you give me the world-is-a-bed-of-roses version of what you’re trying to do.

The pitches are just a means to a small number of relationships where we can go do something extraordinary.

I imagine you interview executives for your portfolio companies. How do you hire?

I start off most interviews with, “What can I answer for you?” It tells me a lot, including how knowledgeable they are about the company, how much they’ve thought about the interview and what they care about. I leave it very open-ended and listen to where they go. I can tell an enormous amount from that.

Then I say to them, “If we take the next step, I’m going to do a bunch of reference checks. I’ll find 10 people who know you, including names you won’t give me. How will they describe you?”
vc  venture_capital  Venrock  problems  problem_solving  opportunities  serving_others  hiring  open-ended 
october 2017 by jerryking
How to Improve Resilience in Midlife
JULY 25, 2017 | The New York Times | By TARA PARKER-POPE.

“There is a naturally learnable set of behaviors that contribute to resilience,” said Dr. Grant, who, with Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook, wrote the book “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy.” “Those are the behaviors that we gravitate to more and more as we age.”

Scientists who study stress and resilience say it’s important to think of resilience as an emotional muscle that can be strengthened at any time. ......Here are some of the ways you can build your resilience in middle age.

■ Practice Optimism. Optimism is part genetic, part learned. So if you were born into a family of Eeyores, you can still find your inner Tigger.
■ Rewrite Your Story. When Dr. Charney was recovering from the shooting, he knew that his life was forever changed, but he reframed the situation, focusing on the opportunity the setback presented. “Once you are a trauma victim it stays with you,” he said. “But I knew I could be a role model. I have thousands of students watching my recovery. This gives me a chance to utilize what I’ve learned.”

Study after study has shown that we can benefit from reframing the personal narrative that shapes our view of the world and ourselves.
■ Don’t Personalize It. (i.e. self-defeating & self-doubt). We have a tendency to blame ourselves for life’s setbacks and to ruminate about what we should have done differently. In the moment, a difficult situation feels as if it will never end.
■ Remember Your Comebacks. When times are tough, we often remind ourselves that other people — like war refugees or a friend with cancer — have it worse.
■ Support Others. Resilience studies show that people are more resilient when they have strong support networks of friends and family to help them cope with a crisis. But you can get an even bigger resilience boost by giving support.
■ Take Stress Breaks. Times of manageable stress present an opportunity to build your resilience.
■ Go Out of Your Comfort Zone. Resilience doesn’t just come from negative experience. You can build your resilience by putting yourself in challenging situations.
discomforts  resilience  midlife  optimism  Sallie_Krawcheck  comebacks  reframing  serving_others  disconnecting  timeouts  personal_energy  Sheryl_Sandberg  Adam_Grant  living_in_the_moment  self-defeating  self-doubt 
july 2017 by jerryking
What Romantic Regime Are You In?
MARCH 7, 2017 | The New York Times | David Brooks.

In Russia, people tend to regard love as a sort of divine madness that descends from the heavens. Love is regarded... as “a destiny, a moral act and a value; it is irresistible, it requires sacrifice and implies suffering and pain....In America people tend to ask: Does a partner fulfill your needs? Do you feel comfortable asserting your rights in the relationship? Does your partner check the right boxes?

While Russians pursue a "Regime of Fate", Americans seek a "Regime of Choice".....The most important requirement for choice is not the availability of multiple options...but the existence of a savvy, sovereign chooser who is well aware of his needs and who acts on the basis of self-interest. Brooks sees those who have mastered the notion of lifelong commitment to belong to a third regime, one he calls the Regime of Covenants in which a covenant is not a choice, but a life-altering promise and all the binding the promise entails.....In the Regime of Covenants, making the right one-time selection is less important than the ongoing action to serve the relationship.

The Covenant people tend to have a “we” consciousness. The good of the relationship itself comes first and the needs of the partner are second and the individual needs are third. The covenant only works if each partner, as best as possible, puts the other’s needs above his or her own, with the understanding that the other will reciprocate....Covenant Regimes require a framework in which exit is not an easy option, in which you’re assured the other person’s love is not going away, and in which the only way to survive the crises is to go deeper into the relationship itself.

The final feature of a covenant is that the relationship is not just about itself; it serves some larger purpose. The obvious one in many cases is raising children. But the deeper one is transformation. People in such a covenant try to love the other in a way that brings out their loveliness. They hope that through this service they’ll become a slightly less selfish version of themselves.
romantic_love  David_Brooks  reciprocity  self-interest  serving_others  covenants  Russia  lifelong  marriage  relationships  commitments  sacrifice  transformational  parenting 
march 2017 by jerryking
Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
MAY 28, 2016 | The New York Times | By ALAIN de BOTTON.

We all fear marrying the wrong person...Partly, it’s because we have many latent problems that emerge when we try to get close to others (we seem normal only to those who don’t know us very well. In a wiser, more self-aware society, a standard question on any early dinner date would be: “And how are you crazy?”)....The problem is that before marriage, we rarely delve into our complexities. ...Our partners are no more self-aware although we make a stab at trying to understand them....we seek a (false) sense that we’ve done our homework. We haven’t.....What matters in the marriage of feeling--romantic love--is that two people are drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct and know in their hearts that it is right.....we believe ourselves to be seeking happiness in marriage, it isn’t that simple. What we really seek is familiarity — which may well complicate any plans we might have had for happiness. ...as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong but because they are too right — too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable — given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign. We marry the wrong people because we don’t associate being loved with feeling happy....We make mistakes, too, because we are so lonely. No one can be in an optimal frame of mind to choose a partner when remaining single feels unbearable.....Finally, we marry to make a nice feeling permanent. We imagine that marriage will help us to bottle the joy we felt when the thought of proposing first came to us....We marry to make joyful sensations permanent but fail to see that there is no solid connection between these feelings and the institution of marriage....The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person. We mustn’t abandon him or her, only the founding "romantic love" idea upon which the Western understanding of marriage has been based the last 250 years: that a perfect being exists who can meet all our needs and satisfy our every yearning....swap the Romantic Love view for a tragic (and at points comedic) awareness that every human will frustrate, anger, annoy, madden and disappoint us — and we will (without any malice) do the same to them. There can be no end to our sense of emptiness and incompleteness. But none of this is unusual or grounds for divorce. Choosing whom to commit ourselves to is merely a case of identifying which particular variety of suffering we're willing to sign up for.

This philosophy of pessimism--thinking tragically--offers a solution to a lot of distress and agitation around marriage. It might sound odd, but pessimism relieves the excessive imaginative pressure that our romantic culture places upon marriage. The failure of one particular partner to save us from our grief and melancholy is not an argument against that person and no sign that a union deserves to fail or be upgraded.

The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste (he or she doesn’t exist), but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently — the person who is good at disagreement. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate differences with generosity that is the true marker of the “not overly wrong” person.

Romantic Love has been unhelpful to us; it is a harsh philosophy. It has made a lot of what we go through in marriage seem exceptional and appalling. We end up lonely and convinced that our union, with its imperfections, is not “normal.” We should learn to accommodate ourselves to “wrongness,” striving always to adopt a more forgiving, humorous and kindly perspective on its multiple examples in ourselves and in our partners.
Communicating_&_Connecting  conflict_resolution  disagreements  disappointment  expectations  forgiveness  generosity  grace  humour  imperfections  intimacy  marriage  perspectives  pessimism  relationships  romantic_love  serving_others  thinking_tragically 
may 2016 by jerryking
Decisions, decisions ... the five most critical for a leader - The Globe and Mail
Nov. 26, 2015 | Special to The Globe and Mail | ROY OSING

How do you spend your decision-making time? There are numerous possibilities when it comes to which decisions to make yourself and those that you leave for others.

How do you determine the “my decision” areas?

The criteria I used was payback. Where could I add the greatest value to the organization?

It’s not about what you enjoy doing or where your strengths are; it’s about where others will realize the maximum benefit if you focus your decision-making time there.

....Decide on these five strategic issues. These must be owned by the leader and no one else.

(1) The strategic game plan for the organization
(2) The values that shape culture
(3) The talent that gets recruited
(4) The “customer moment” architecture
(5) Aligning activities to the game plan

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On a basic level, a “customer moment” is any interaction between an employee and a customer. Needless to say, customer moments can occur at any time, and with this in mind, businesses are employing strategies to make sure every customer moment is a positive one. With the world becoming more and more connected, via the internet and social media, the potential for customer moments increases exponentially. When you factor in other recent innovations, such as the rise of smart phones and tablets, the sheer amount of potential customer moments becomes astronomical. This has led to the rise of self-service portals, where customers can receive help on many common customer service issues, such as troubleshooting. Businesses have opened up other channels for customer service as well, such as email and chat support.
leaders  decision_making  priorities  focus  serving_others  payback  talent  strategies  values  customer_experience  CEOs  value_creation  moments  organizational_culture  value_added  ROI  criteria  Roy_Osing 
may 2016 by jerryking
9 Affirmations the Most Successful People Repeat Each and Every Day | Inc.com
1. "I treat others the way they want to be treated."
2. "I am ever grateful." Gratitude allows happiness to come into my life. I define and talk about the things I am grateful for on a daily basis. I know that the No. 1 way for me to be happy is to choose to be grateful.
3. "I am accountable." I am reliable. I am responsible. I never blame others. I never make excuses. I take ownership of my successes as well as my mistakes. I know that my own performance is a direct result of what I think and the actions I take.
4. "I believe in myself." When I fail, I learn. My failures are temporary because my perseverance is permanent. I push forward at all times because I know I can succeed. As I continually believe in myself, my confidence increases.
5. "I have high standards." I do not let mediocrity enter my life. I am honest. I do not apologize for striving for excellence. My quality of life is a reflection of my high standards. By living up to my personal high standards, my confidence increases.
6. "I follow my heart." Time is precious, and everyone has something that they are passionate about. (jk: mybestlife) The cost of not following my heart is too great, I am going to live life with no regrets. As I follow my heart, my confidence increases.
7. "I trust my gut." I value my intuition, since it is based on my subconscious mind and conscious mind working in harmony. I know what is true, and I know what I want to be true. I trust my gut feelings, my inner voice. As I trust myself, my confidence increases.
8. "I am resilient." I have overcome many challenges and will overcome many more. The times that are the toughest are the times I learn the most. I never back down. I work hard and I push through. As I act in a resilient manner, my confidence increases.
9. "I help people." I matter because I make a difference. While I may get tired, I am not weary. I share myself and love to serve. By making a difference, my confidence increases.

If we tell ourselves our personal truth enough, it manifests into reality. Our reality and our actions will always match the story we believe.
affirmations  Jeff_Haden  mybestlife  gratitude  accountability  resilience  mediocrity  high-standards  next_play  gut_feelings  serving_others  passions  no_regrets  inner-directed  it's_up_to_me 
april 2016 by jerryking
Dear MPs not picked for cabinet: Get over it - The Globe and Mail
Nov. 04, 2015 | The Globe and Mail | BARRY CAMPBELL.

The political arena is not for the meek. There is much to learn and some of that is hard: how to create distance between brain and mouth so you are not the subject of an unfortunate headline and a nasty call from the Prime Minister’s Office; how to make everyone still like you even when you couldn’t do much to help; and how to be patient knowing that you can’t fix everything. Victories may be few and small, but still worth it.

You will learn from your caucus colleagues (each of whom thinks he or she is as smart and deserving as you) and learn how to give credit when it is due and when to keep your own counsel. Learn how to live to fight another day, how to speak at caucus meetings and be noticed (humour helps) and how to be a partisan loyalist and a relentless self-promoter without losing your soul and the still be the person who came to Ottawa to serve their country.

My advice is this: Your power will come through how well you develop and manage relationships – with the cabinet, your colleagues, Hill staff, civil servants and even the opposition. Your lack of an official portfolio means that you can be more objective and provide cabinet ministers with an unvarnished perspective they’ll appreciate (mostly).

Pick both your battles and causes carefully. Most important, pick an issue and be its voice. Make it yours. (or...use your political_capital wisely)
advice  appointments  Justin_Trudeau  politics  politicians  serving_others  political_capital  wisdom  humility  self-promotion  self-starters  House_of_Commons  influence  PMO  relationships  speaking_up  the_Cabinet 
november 2015 by jerryking
How Not to Be a Networking Leech: Tips for Seeking Professional Advice - The New York Times
SEPT. 26, 2015 | NYT | By MARGARET MORFORD.

(1) Make the meeting convenient. Ask for time frames that would work well, and meet at a place that is convenient for them, even if you have to drive across town.
(2) Buy their coffee or meal.
(3) Go with a prepared list of questions. People whose advice is worth seeking are busy.
(4) Don’t argue about their advice or point out why it wouldn’t work for you. You can ask for clarification by finding out how they would handle a particular concern you have, but don’t go beyond that. You get to decide whether or not to use their advice.
(5) Don’t ask for intellectual property or materials.
(6) Never ask for any written follow-up. It is your job to take good notes during your meeting, not their job to send you bullet points after the meeting. No one should get homework after agreeing to help someone.
(7) Spend time at the end of the meeting finding out what you can do for them.
(8) Always thank them more than once. Follow up with a handwritten note — not an email or a text.
(9) Do not refer others to the same expert.
(10) Ask an expert for free help only once. If the help someone offered you was so valuable that you would like them to provide it again, then pay for it the next time.
(11) As you ask people for help, always consider how you in turn can help others.
best_of  tips  torchbearers  networking  questions  gratitude  serving_others  note_taking  mentoring  advice  handwritten  leeches  brevity 
september 2015 by jerryking
Mark Toole's answer to What can you teach me that can be useful in my life? - Quora
Initiative:
If there is something that you want, something that would improve your life, find a way to take positive action towards it. Maybe it isn’t your job. Maybe you can get away with not doing it. Take action anyways. Turn on the light.

Ask forgiveness, not permission:
If the likelihood of harming yourself or someone else is low, do what needs to be done and deal with any problems if they come up. So many people are paralyzed by this, so developing this habit alone will change your life.

Help people, expect nothing:
Be the person who makes things better for other people. Leave things better than you found them. Wipe off the counter when someone else leaves a mess.... Most people will never notice or appreciate it. Some people will. These are the only people who matter.

Keep learning, keep asking questions:
If you want to know something, try to find out the answer. Ask people. When you think you know something, answer other people’s questions about it. Teaching or explaining something expands your own knowledge on the subject. Read a lot on a variety of subjects, fiction and nonfiction. Take online courses.... Ask thought provoking questions. Constantly improve. Maintain your curiosity.
life-changing  life_skills  Quora  curiosity  questions  serving_others  life_long_learning  individual_initiative  foregiveness  permissions 
september 2015 by jerryking
Retired Wells Fargo Exec to Help Ex-Convicts - Barron's
By ED FINN
August 1, 2015

As Ludeman sees it, life in Ferguson and many other impoverished U.S. cities has been made far worse by the inability of ex-convicts to adjust to life outside prison. Of the people released from prison, an astounding 77% end up getting arrested again within five years. ...Ludeman was quick to educate himself on the social and economic costs of America’s burgeoning state and federal prison population, which now numbers 1.6 million, up from 300,000 in 1980. One reason the U.S. economy has been slow to recover in recent years is that so many Americans have prison records and therefore find it nearly impossible to get jobs. This is largely due to laws passed since 1980 requiring mandatory sentences, particularly for drug-related offenses. By one estimate, 7.7 million people in the U.S. have served time in prison.

Before thinking about Project Cope, says Ludeman, “I did not realize the devastating impact to individuals, families, and communities, who are literally annihilated by mass incarceration.”

Without question, the harsher sentencing laws of the past three decades have taken a proportionately greater toll on African-Americans. While African-Americans make up 13% of the overall U.S. population, they account for 38% of prison inmates. Studies have shown that when a white person and an African-American with similar criminal histories are charged with the same type of crime, the chances of the African-American going to prison are far higher than for the white defendant. One study indicated that young African-American males have a one-in-three chance of going to prison at some point in their lives, versus one-in-six for Hispanics and one-in-17 for whites
Second_Acts  nonprofit  CEOs  leadership  serving_others  justice_system  penal_institutions  prisons  incarceration  racial_disparities  African-Americans 
august 2015 by jerryking
Three generations of de Gaspé Beaubien family give back to Canada - The Globe and Mail
ROY MACGREGOR
GATINEAU, QUE. — The Globe and Mail
Published Friday, Jun. 05, 2015

Working with Ottawa Riverkeeper’s capable executive director, Meredith Brown, the partnership last weekend hosted a summit, AquaHacking 2015, in a hotel just across the river from Parliament Hill. With the help of co-sponsor IBM, they held a “hackathon” and gave out $20,000 in prizes to computer wizards who came up with the best applications to help gather data on the health of the river. Some came from as far away as California to compete.
philanthropy  family  family-owned_businesses  water  family_business  public_service  Quebec  civics  youth  leadership  giving  serving_others 
june 2015 by jerryking
The three personal development goals successful people pursue habitually - The Globe and Mail
DIXIE GILLASPIE
Entrepreneur.com
Published Saturday, Jan. 24 2015
(1) They spend time getting to know themselves. They know their energy patterns, so they know how much sleep is optimal. They know when they get their best rest they are at their best when they are awake. They know what fuel their body needs, and what kind of exercise it takes to feel the way they want to feel. They know what environments they need to be creative and productive, and they know the difference between those two states.

They know their priorities, too, and they know that all of their decisions must start with the highest level of their vision, mission or purpose.
(2)They spend time improving themselves. Successful people know that to increase their net worth they must increase their personal worth. They’ve mastered the personal SWOTT analysis and they consistently invest in themselves....Successful people read-story books, how-to books, news, industry articles. They read to improve their knowledge, their mind-set, even their mood. Moreover, successful people study--trends in their industry and outside of their industry, things that interest them and, most of all, they study people.
(3) They spend time sharing themselves. Many super successful people are generous with their money and time.
overachievers  self-analysis  self-assessment  personal_energy  self-awareness  generosity  mindsets  self-improvement  habits  think_threes  volunteering  serving_others  high-achieving 
january 2015 by jerryking
If you want to be big in 2015, think big - The Globe and Mail
DAVID CICCARELLI
Special to The Globe and Mail
Published Thursday, Jan. 01 2015

Thought leadership builds your brand and raises your profile in arenas you may not be able to enter otherwise. Write about what you know and make yourself available to speak about your topic.

Add value by sharing your knowledge and empowering others to succeed. Contributing to the greater discussion will gain more impressions for your brand. To paraphrase the late motivational speaker Zig Ziglar, helping others get what they want will help you to get what you want.
preparation  growth  small_business  thought_leadership  serving_others  organizational_culture  chutzpah  large_companies  individual_initiative  thinking_big 
january 2015 by jerryking
A few questions to ask yourself
August 22, 2014 | - Western Alumni | by Robert Collins, BA'77.

Attending events. Helping arrange them by joining branch committees. Volunteering to speak or host events. These are all ways to bring forward your Western connection and ensure its ongoing relevance.

But let me also share a few questions you can ask yourself about staying connected and getting involved: When you read the Alumni Gazette, and other publications, ask the question, “Are there people, research ideas or developments underway I could assist in via my social or workplace connections?” As our career services for alumni, in addition to our career services for students and recent graduates, evolve, ask yourself, “How can I assist? Can I become a mentor, share my company’s vacancies or host a work experience?”

As students develop their entrepreneurial talents through some new services underway on campus, ask yourself, “Could I become a mentor, an ‘angel’ investor or a purchaser of their products and services?” Perhaps even in all things, ask yourself, “Do I have a talent, resource or connection that would benefit another Western student or alumnus?”
serving_others  Ivey  UWO  Colleges_&_Universities  questions  alumni  volunteering 
september 2014 by jerryking
Want to land a big client? Here are four important tips - The Globe and Mail
MATTHIJS KEIJ
Young Entrepreneur Council
Published Tuesday, Aug. 12 2014

Study them

Landing a big client isn’t about you. Let me say that again: It is not about you.... remember that to succeed, you must help your client succeed. How do you do that? Study everything you can about the client until you fully understand the business, strategies and objectives.

Next, clearly define how your product or service will help the company achieve its goals. If you can identify a problem or isolate areas for improvement, then you can clearly illustrate your ability to provide a unique solution.

Make the connection. to land that enterprise client, try to identify your Norgay or Hillary. Talking to the wrong people wastes valuable time. However, if you can create a relationship with a strategic partner, that person can help get you in front of the right people and into the necessary meetings – all the more quickly than you could do on your own. Your target client is Mount Everest. Start climbing.
Gain influence

“An enterprise client needs to be convinced that working with your company is the best decision they could ever make,” says Karthik Manimozh, president and COO of 1-Page. “One of the most effective ways to help them arrive at this conclusion is to let your reputation precede you.”

The leadership, prestige and visibility that your company wields in the marketplace are all key factors that influence buying decisions. The answers your potential enterprise client seeks rest on your ability to shape your story. Good PR and marketing is the foundation. Strategic networking and social proof are pillars.

Remember, influence is something that comes with hard work...Be everywhere; talk with everyone (but ensure your conversations are informative and upbeat, never desperate).

Persevere through tough times

It can take months or even more than a year to land an enterprise client. Nothing worth having comes easy.

During that time, you’re bound to find yourself in countless meetings, possibly caught up in the middle of office politics, or jumping through hoops as the legal and procurement departments vet your company. Don’t dismay. This is par for the course when trying to land an enterprise client.
solutions  solution-finders  marketing  business_development  tips  indispensable  influence  networking  JCK  due_diligence  large_companies  perseverance  Communicating_&_Connecting  value_propositions  serving_others  strategic_thinking  client_development  hard_work  enterprise_clients  hard_times  office_politics  Michael_McDerment  the_right_people 
august 2014 by jerryking
The Most Important Question You Can Ask
APRIL 25, 2014 | NYT | By TONY SCHWARTZ.

The answer to “In the service of what?” is to add more value to the commons than we take out, and not to discount any good that we can do.

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference,” said the children’s rights advocate Marian Wright Edelman, “ignore the small daily differences we can make, which, over time, add up to big differences that we cannot foresee.”

Personal accomplishments make us feel good. Adding value to other people’s lives makes us feel good about ourselves. But there is a difference. The good feelings we get from serving others are deeper and last longer. Think for a moment about what you want your children to remember about you after you’re gone. Do more of that.
work_life_balance  Tony_Schwartz  serving_others  hedge_funds  questions  slight_edge  legacies  values  life_skills  compounded  personal_accomplishments  foundational  cumulative 
april 2014 by jerryking
Three Mistakes to Avoid When Networking
February 18, 2014 | HBR | by Dorie Clark |

Misunderstanding the pecking order.
Asking to receive before you give.
Failing to specifically state your value proposition.
networking  serving_others  HBR  value_propositions  misunderstandings 
february 2014 by jerryking
Find Yourself Later in Life by Serving Others - The Experts - WSJ
Jan 14, 2014 | WSJ | MARC FREEDMAN:

What’s the best way to forge a new identity after leaving the workforce?
Second_Acts  retirement  serving_others 
january 2014 by jerryking
Ten habits of the world’s best connection makers - The Globe and Mail
Scott Dinsmore

Young Entrepreneur Council

Published Friday, Jan. 10 2014,

1. Smile.
2. See friends, not strangers.
3. Make friends. This is the foundation. Making genuine connections is nothing more than making friends.
4. Be genuine. If you’re connecting just because you want to get yourself further up the ladder, then you’ve already lost. There is only one type of connection — one you genuinely care about.
5. Contribute. Meeting people is about making their lives better. Whether that’s by giving them a smile, a new job or anything in between — there is a way to help everyone. Give like crazy, embrace generosity and make others more successful.
6. Pay attention. The easiest way to be interesting is to be interested.
7. Make people a priority.
8. Be open to conversation.
9. Know who you are and who you want in your life.
10. Be uniquely YOU.
attention  authenticity  Communicating_&_Connecting  conversations  friendships  habits  networking  pay_attention  people_skills  self-awareness  serving_others 
january 2014 by jerryking
Why you need to build your legacy now
Dec. 24 2013 | The Globe and Mail | JESSICA LEIGH JOHNSTON

“Are you on this planet to do something, or are you here for something to do?" --after some thinking, they understand that the answer is to do something. Then we say, “If you’re here to do something, what is it?”
the legacy you leave is the life you lead: it’s what you are doing right now that determines how you will be remembered. Thinking of ‘life’ as an acronym is a helpful guideline for thinking about legacy:

· What are the Lessons that you want people to say you taught them?

· What are the Ideals you hope people will say that you stood for?

· What are the Feelings you hope people will say they had when you were around them?

· What are the tangible Expressions of your leadership? Not just your accomplishments, but the things you might have contributed. Maybe you worked every Saturday for 25 years for Habitat for Humanity, or you were active in the community as a volunteer for sports. What are some of those tangible achievements?

We find this framework useful for people to reflect on legacy, and to come back to it periodically and ask themselves, “Is there anything more I want to add, and am I living my life in harmony with these guidelines?”

"What is the best way to learn something?” And I thought I had the learned the answer to that question, and said confidently: “The best way to learn something is to experience it yourself.” Fred turned to me and he said, “No, Jim, the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else.”
legacies  leadership  JCK  life_skills  teaching  serving_others  values  affirmations  mybestlife 
december 2013 by jerryking
Don't network, make contact
Feb. 11 2004 | The Globe and Mail | BARBARA MOSES.

Good networking is a two-way street. Skilled networkers don't think of themselves as networking but rather as exchanging information. Whenever someone tells me about a great networking experience they had, I ask them two questions. "What did you learn from them?" "What information did you pass on?"

In good networking there always is a mutual connection. Done well, networking is like the most graceful dancing. Both parties are stimulated by the interaction. No one feels used. At its best, there is a deeply satisfying emotional and intellectual connection. Done poorly, nothing is more off-putting.

Good networkers are "wired," with broad connections that range beyond their own professional boundaries and into all walks of life. They cultivate relationships with people who know how to get things done. Like good mentors, they are genuinely curious about people and what they are thinking, and like to make things happen for others. They like to bring together interesting people and ideas -- and they are as proud of making things happen for others as they are of the number of names in their personal organizer.
networking  Barbara_Moses  serving_others  personal_connections  emotional_connections 
december 2013 by jerryking
Staying Focused
December 2013 | Harvard Business Review | by Adi Ignatius.

In “The Focused Leader” Daniel Goleman posits that a primary task for leaders is to “direct attention” toward what matters—so it’s imperative that they stay focused themselves. Building on neuroscience research, he argues that “focus” isn’t about filtering out distractions as much as it is about cultivating awareness of what truly matters. The executive’s goal should be to develop three things: an inward focus, a focus on others, and a focus on the wider world. The first two help to build emotional intelligence, while the third can help in devising strategy, innovating, and managing.
attention  distractions  editorials  emotional_intelligence  filtering  focus  HBR  incisiveness  inward-looking  leaders  people_skills  self-awareness  serving_others  strategy  the_big_picture  think_threes  what_really_matters 
december 2013 by jerryking
Ink Entertainment CEO Charles Khabouth’s 7 tips for success - The Globe and Mail
Jul. 26 2013 | The Globe and Mail | by COURTNEY SHEA.

To come to my party, be in my corner

At the beginning of September my phone starts ringing non-stop. People who I haven’t heard from in months will call because they want to get into a TIFF party at one of my venues. I have my go-to excuses. I’ll say that the company throwing the event has hired private security or that it’s my venue, but it’s not my event. The truth is I can get anybody I want into any event – that’s part of the contract, but I just don’t want to be used. That said, if I have a great client who supports us throughout the year, I am happy to be able to get them into an event. It’s important to recognize the people who keep your business going.
CEOs  entertainment  entertainment_industry  Charles_Khabouth  restauranteurs  meetings  tips  ksfs  entrepreneur  Toronto  TIFF  serving_others  serial_entrepreneur 
august 2013 by jerryking
First on your to-do list? The unpleasant tasks
Jun. 09 2013 | - The Globe and Mail | by HARVEY SCHACHTER.

increasing the overall demand for what you sell – making the pie bigger, rather than figuring out on how to divide it with competitors – is an important part of success....Stop focusing on the quality of your work, because people care more about the quality of their own work, advises blogger Ben Drake. Help others improve by asking them what they need from you to help them soar.
Harvey_Schachter  serving_others  talent_management  thinking_big  to-do 
june 2013 by jerryking
Never blow off the ones you'll need
27 Aug 2004 | The Globe and Mail pg. C.1. | James Gray,

We've all blown people off. After all, it often seems that there
are simply too many who want too much from us -- our business, our
expertise, our contacts -- offering negligible value in return.
However, if we choose to interact only with those who can benefit us
here and now, we're limiting ourselves, and possibly our careers...We
need to reach out. We need to connect. We need to engage....help others.
Return calls. alert others to suitable employment opportunities;
facilitate introductions. ...This achiever doesn't help others because
he's successful; he's successful because he helps others. ...Will some
take advantage of me? Absolutely. Should I care? No... Commit to
responding conscientiously to communication by following three simple
rules: Schedule your time: Prioritize your calls : Ask how you can help :
networking  Communicating_&_Connecting  serving_others 
june 2013 by jerryking
Keep Calm and Carry On
May 31, 2013 | NYT |By TONY SCHWARTZ

I had been away much of the week, I was tired and I had several morning meetings the next day that I did not want to miss. I made an instant decision: I am not going to let myself get frustrated or move into victim mode. It’s something I have worked at for many years. ....The first technique comes from sports psychology--the best tennis players are meticulous about renewing themselves in the 20 to 30 seconds between points. The first thing these players did when a point ended was to turn away from the net.

I loved the metaphor: Turn away from the net. Let it go. Don’t dissipate energy on something you can no longer influence. Invest it instead where it has the power to make a difference. I came to call it the Energy Serenity Prayer....the Each of us has a finite reservoir of energy in any given day. Whatever amount of energy we spend obsessing about missteps we have made, decisions that do not go our way or the belief we have been treated unfairly is energy no longer available to add value in the world.

Worse yet, negative emotions feed on themselves and move us into fight or flight – a reactive state in which it is impossible to think clearly. Negative emotions also burn down energy at a furious rate. It is exhausting to be a victim.

The goal is to keep calm and carry on.

If I was to keep my composure at this point, I needed to find a new gear.

This is where the second technique came in. I have long recognized that one of the best ways to make yourself feel better is to make someone else feel better
I also happened to be in the midst of reading a book called “Give and Take” by Adam Grant, which makes a compelling case that people who give without expecting anything in return actually turn out not only to feel better for having done so, but also to be more successful.

Giving, Mr. Grant explains, does not require extraordinary acts of sacrifice. It simply involves a focus on acting in the interests of others. When takers succeed, there is usually someone else who loses. When givers give, it spreads and cascades. In my own case, the book served as a powerful reminder that the “giver” is the person I want to be....Rather than feeling sorry for myself, I decided to focus on making other people feel better.
inspiration  books  giving  work_life_balance  serving_others  beyond_one's_control  personal_energy  span_of_control  sport_psychology  disconnecting  affirmations  metaphors  athletes_&_athletics  finite_resources  tennis  missteps  Adam_Grant  high-impact 
june 2013 by jerryking
Amazing Career Advice For College Grads From LinkedIn's Billionaire Founder - Business Insider
1. Competition.
What should I do with my Life? is the WRONG question--it's too self-absorbed. Instead, make it about everyone else, which means isolating your competitive advantage (assets, aspirations, market realities). In terms of making a positive difference in the world, ask "how can I help?"
2. Networks
Proactively build your network.Relationships matter as people control access to resources, opportunities and information. It's likely that someone I already know knows someone who could help me.
3. Risk
Actions, not plans generate useful lessons. Playing it safe is one of the riskiest things you can do--learn to take Intelligent Risks. Prioritize plans that offer the best chance at learning about yourself and the world. If the worst case scenario is losing a bit of time or money or experiencing some discomfort, this is a worthwhile risk. if the worst case scenario is the serious tarnishing of one's reputation, loss of all economic assets, or something otherwise career ending, don't accept that risk. The best opportunities can be the one with the most question marks.
advice  Managing_Your_Career  Reid_Hoffman  LinkedIn  career_ending_moves  entrepreneurship  indispensable  serving_others  Colleges_&_Universities  students  new_graduates  job_search  discomforts  action-oriented  self-absorbed  playing_it_safe 
may 2013 by jerryking
Professional firms: Simply the best
Apr 13th 2013 | The Economist |

What It Takes: Seven Secrets of Success from the World’s Greatest Professional Firms. By Charles Ellis. Wiley; 290 pages; $40 and £26.99.

During a long career advising senior professionals, Mr Ellis found that a handful of firms were almost universally regarded by their peers as the best in their particular business. As well as McKinsey (management consulting) and Goldman (investment banking), they included Capital Group (investment management), the Mayo Clinic (health care) and Cravath, Swaine & Moore (law). He was surprised to discover that each of the firms had several things in common. These include leaders who devote their lives to serving their firm rather than enriching themselves (though that tended to follow naturally), a good sense of what motivates staff to get up early and work late and the ability to get individualistic professionals to function unusually well in teams.

Above all, these firms are fanatical about recruiting new employees who are not just the most talented but also the best suited to a particular corporate culture. These firms’ bosses spend a disproportionate amount of time on the recruitment process, often putting it before other more immediately lucrative demands on their time. McKinsey interviews 200,000 people each year, but selects just over 1%.

Each McKinsey applicant can be interviewed eight times before being offered a job; at Goldman, twice that is not unheard of. At Capital a serious candidate is likely to be seen by 20 people, some more than once. Recruitment, these firms believe, is the start of a lifelong relationship. At the same time, Goldman and McKinsey also have a policy of helping their staff to find suitable work elsewhere, all in the expectation that they will eventually become loyal customers.
best_of  books  book_reviews  disproportionality  Goldman_Sachs  high-achieving  lifelong  McKinsey  organizational_culture  outplacement  overachievers  professional_service_firms  recruiting  relationships  selection_processes  selectivity  serving_others  talent_management 
april 2013 by jerryking
Help yourself by helping others
?? | Globe & Mail | Lynda Taller-Wakter.

* Define your objectives, then find an organization that can help you achieve them. if fund raising is the skill you want to develop, target a bigger organization with canvassing and other related opportunities.
* Don’t dismiss the importance of volunteer work on a résumé.
* Volunteer, even if you don’t think you have the time.
* Volunteer work can build your esteem - an important stepping stone for getting back to work.
* Test your skills in the marketplace as soon as possible.
* Joining the right organizations can raise your profile at work.
* Network wisely
* Develop acumen in a new field. If career is behind your volunteering, supplement it: there are courses in such areas as fund raising and festivals management.
volunteering  Managing_Your_Career  business_acumen  résumés  expertise  job_search  tips  serving_others  networking  generosity 
december 2012 by jerryking
Why We Love Politics - NYTimes.com
November 22, 2012 | NYT | By DAVID BROOKS.

I hope everybody who shares this anti-political mood will go out to see “Lincoln,” directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Tony Kushner. The movie portrays the nobility of politics in exactly the right way.

It shows that you can do more good in politics than in any other sphere. You can end slavery, open opportunity and fight poverty. But you can achieve these things only if you are willing to stain your own character in order to serve others — if you are willing to bamboozle, trim, compromise and be slippery and hypocritical.

The challenge of politics lies precisely in the marriage of high vision and low cunning. Spielberg’s “Lincoln” gets this point. The hero has a high moral vision, but he also has the courage to take morally hazardous action in order to make that vision a reality.
Abraham_Lincoln  compromise  cunning  David_Brooks  hypocrisy  moral_hazards  movies  politics  political_expediency  public_policy  serving_others  tradeoffs 
november 2012 by jerryking
New Year's Resolution 2002
1. Resolve to stay brutally optimistic.
2. Resolve to identify the most powerful benefit you offer to the people around you and then deliver it. (See below)
3. Resolve to pump up your personal vitality. How do I retain personal vitality?
[Personal vitality measures overall health in four key areas:
Physical
Mental
Emotional
Purpose – INTERESTING! (I believe that having a sense of individual life purpose is absolutely fundamental to personal happiness and contentment ]
4. Resolve to be habitually generous.
5. Resolve to go on a mental diet.
6. Resolve to be a global citizen, fully open to the cultures and influences of others.
7. Resolve to take control of your destiny.
8. Resolve to increase your human connectedness. Network.
9. Resolve to increase your creativity by letting go of the familiar. If innovation is everything, how do I institutionalize it in my personal life? Innovation ==> change strategy ==> succeed because they are subversive. Be a heretic!!!
10. Resolve to be you because others are already taken.

Practice adding value to things--ideas to make things worth more.
Practice adding value to people--what can I do to help my colleagues become more effective?
Practice adding value to myself--what can I do to make myself more valuable today?
heretical  inspiration  motivations  fitness  indispensable  serving_others  value_creation  resolutions  unconventional_thinking  JCK  affirmations  optimism  authenticity  generosity  Communicating_&_Connecting  subversion  purpose  networking  creative_renewal  personal_energy 
august 2012 by jerryking
Real-World Advice for the Young
04.11.05 | Forbes | Rich Karlgaard.

We owe our young people ...a set of "road rules" for the real world.

Purpose. Every young person needs to know that he was created for a purpose. ...I would, however, argue that there is also an economic purpose to our lives. It is to discover our gifts, make them productive and find outlets for their best contribution.

Priorities. The best single piece of advice from Peter Drucker: Stop thinking about what you can achieve; think about what you can contribute (to your company, your customers, your marriage, your community). This is how you will achieve. Enron had an achievement-first culture; it just achieved the wrong things...how many schools teach young people to think in terms of contribution?

Preparation. Lest you think I'm urging young people down a Mother Teresa-like path of self-sacrifice, I'm not. The task is to fit purpose and contribution into a capitalistic world. There is a crying need for prepared young people who can thrive in a realm of free-market capitalism. This great system works magnificently, but it doesn't work anything like the way it's taught in most universities. In the real world, the pie of resources and wealth is not fixed; it is growing all the time. In the real world, the game is not rigged and static; rather, money and talent move at the speed of light in the direction of freedom and opportunity. In the real world, greed is bad (because it takes your eye off customers), but profits are very good. Profits allow you to invest in the future. In the real world, rising living standards do not create pollution. Instead, they create an informed middle class that wants and works to reduce pollution.

Pan-global view. The economy is global.... There is no going back.

Partner. Many of the great startups of the last 30 years began as teams of two...Behind this phenomenon is a principle: Build on your strengths. To mitigate your weaknesses--and we all have them--partner up! Find your complement.
Perseverance. Young people are smarter and more sophisticated today. It's not even close. My own generation's SAT scores look like they came out of baseball's dead-ball era. But apart from the blue-collar kids who are fighting in Iraq, most American kids today are soft. That's a harsh statement, isn't it? But cultural anecdotes back it up. Kids weigh too much. Fitness is dropping. Three American high schoolers ran the mile in under four minutes in the 1960s. It's been done by one person since. Parents sue coaches when Johnny is cut from the team. Students sue for time extensions on tests. New college dorms resemble luxury hotels. College grads, unable to face the world, move back in with their parents and stay for years.

Does this sound like a work force you'd send into combat against the Chinese?
in_the_real_world  Rich_Karlgaard  advice  Peter_Drucker  youth  students  entrepreneurship  partnerships  rules_of_the_game  purpose  globalization  Junior_Achievement  perseverance  millennials  serving_others  priorities  preparation  profits  greed  fitness  talent_flows  capital_flows  static  risk-mitigation  complacency  blue-collar  Chinese  capitalism  self-sacrifice  young_people  anecdotal 
august 2012 by jerryking
Connections with Integrity
February 13, 2012 |Strategy + BUsiness | by Reid Hoffman.

The venture capitalist who co-founded LinkedIn reveals the surefire system that he has used since high school for evaluating potential business relationships.....It seems counterintuitive, but the more altruistic your attitude, the more benefits you will gain from the relationship. If you insist on a quid pro quo every time you help others, you will have a much narrower network and a more limited set of opportunities. Conversely, if you set out to help others by introducing them to the right people, simply because you think it’s the right thing to do, you will rapidly reinforce your own reputation and expand your universe of possibilities. For me, that is the greatest value of understanding alliances; it can help you build the kind of network on which great careers are built.
networking  LinkedIn  Reid_Hoffman  social_networking  social_capital  serving_others  counterintuitive  transactional_relationships  integrity  quid_pro_quo  alliance  the_right_people  personal_connections 
march 2012 by jerryking
The secret to polite conversation - The Globe and Mail
SARAH HAMPSON | Columnist profile | E-mail
From Monday's Globe and Mail
Published Sunday, Dec. 11, 2011

That’s the thing about pleasant conversation. It’s a dance of fancy footwork, a minefield of social explosive devices to be avoided, the exact opposite of what the popular culture of confession and narcissistic Facebook commentary suggests is important. A good conversationalist has a feel for nuance; an understanding of grace; an ability to make careful entrees and gentle exits. He is not obsessed with his own status updates. And he’s adept at skilled deflections.

To make for happy party dynamics, you must demure at times, remain silent when necessary, nod, listen, dare to be conventional and find refuse in a discussion about the weather.

Rarely do you need to say exactly how you feel,
conversations  ice-breakers  Communicating_&_Connecting  etiquette  politeness  people_skills  grace  generosity  serving_others  nuanced  socially_graceful 
december 2011 by jerryking
The Generous Marriage
December 8, 2011 | NYT | By TARA PARKER-POPE.

The role of generosity is becoming better understood...Generosity is defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? [Brains, Beauty, Breeding + Generosity/ (graciousness = of good cheer/humour, forgiveness, and an ability to maintain a sense of proportion )]
relationships  marriage  Tara_Parker-Pope  intimacy  parenting  Communicating_&_Connecting  grace  serving_others  romantic_love  generosity  sense_of_proportion 
december 2011 by jerryking
How to Make Your Co-Workers Smarter
May 11, 2011| BNET | By Jessica Stillman.
Learn about people’s passions. You can’t connect with others if you
don’t know anything about them. So, who are they? Ask lots of questions.
What inspires or drives them? What are their goals? What have they
learned recently?
Get over yourself. Flip your focus from yourself to the other
person. When you say to yourself, “He hates me” or “She thinks I’m
stupid,” you are making someone else’s behavior about you [jk: emotional mastery]. Change your
perspective. For instance, if you are thinking, “I want her to think I’m
smart” flip your focus to “I want her to be smart.”
Make connections. When interacting with small groups, be a
“connector” by calling out each person’s unique talents or strengths.
Help people connect the dots and see that two or more heads really are
better than one.
Communicating_&_Connecting  connecting_the_dots  co-workers  curiosity  emotional_mastery  empowerment  howto  ice-breakers  passions  questions  serving_others  smart_people  teams  workplaces 
may 2011 by jerryking
The Schmooze-Hater’s Guide to Better Networking
March 15, 2011 | BNET | By Tom Searcy |
(1) It’s not all about you. See if there is a way you can be of help to
others--be a great problem solver. Along the way good things will happen
for you, too.
(2) Set your goals, primary and back-up
(3) Ask good questions. # “What business problem does your company
solve?” “What is the best example you have of how you are doing that?” #
“What has been the biggest win for you/your company in the last six
months?”
(4) Exit gracefully. “It has been so nice to spend a few minutes getting
to know you, I hope you have a great spring.” smile graciously and just
move on.
exits  networking  howto  ice-breakers  JCK  conversations  serving_others  questions  grace  small_talk  Communicating_&_Connecting 
march 2011 by jerryking
Why Networking Isn't About Achieving Personal Gain
2004 | Wall Street Journal | By Barbara Moses. Good networkers
extend their connections beyond their immediate professional boundaries.
They cultivate relationships with people who know how to get things
done... They enjoy bringing together interesting people and ideas, and
they are as proud of making things happen for others as they are of how
many people are listed in their personal organizers. Skilled networkers
don't view staying connected with others as networking, seeing it
instead as exchanging information. The best networkers rarely expect a
personal payoff...having benefited from their contacts' kindness and
help, they`re seeking opportunities to reciprocate and hope they'll do
the same...Adept networkers are huge information synthesizers who can
see connections that aren't obvious between people, things and ideas.
From the initial presenting issue, they can identify a higher idea the
other person might not have seen and make creative referrals...they're
idea generators.
personal_connections  Barbara_Moses  connecting_the_dots  networking  tips  serving_others  Communicating_&_Connecting  idea_generation  ideas  non-obvious  latent  hidden  information_synthesis  referrals  value_added  packaging  personal_payoffs 
december 2010 by jerryking
Experts Offer Their Tips For Fruitful Networking
Jan. 30, 2005 | Wall Street Journal | By Stacey L. Bradford. Here are 10 tips from experts to make your networking fruitful:
1. Prepare an "elevator speech."
2. Use your existing ties.
3. Target trade groups.
4. Show interest in others.
5. Don't ask for a job.
6. Build relationships.
7. Don't be selfish. Remember networking is a two-way street.
8. Don't abuse relationships.
9. Follow through.
10. Maintain your network.
tips  networking  Managing_Your_Career  serving_others  generosity  following_up  reciprocity 
december 2010 by jerryking
Never blow off the ones you'll need
Aug 27, 2004. | The Globe & Mail. pg. C.1 | James
Gray. We've all blown people off. After all, it often seems that there
are simply too many who want too much from us -- our business, our
expertise, our contacts -- offering negligible value in return.
However, if we choose to interact only with those who can benefit us
here and now, we're limiting ourselves, and possibly our careers...We
need to reach out. We need to connect. We need to engage....help others.
Return calls. alert others to suitable employment opportunities;
facilitate introductions. ...This achiever doesn't help others because
he's successful; he's successful because he helps others. ...Will some
take advantage of me? Absolutely. Should I care? No... Commit to
responding conscientiously to communication by following three simple
rules: Schedule your time: Prioritize your calls : Ask how you can help :
ProQuest  networking  Communicating_&_Connecting  serving_others 
december 2010 by jerryking
Meet your babe’s sexiest organ - The Globe and Mail
Oct. 29, 2010 Globe and Mail Claudia Dey. ...from a
commentator....“ I feel this is related to creating fantasies in a
women's brain. Essentially they will fantasize so you might as well have
some control of their direction, by planting the seeds for them. Giving
at least a sliver of insight into what they are. It also directly ties
you to the fantasies which creates a stronger bound. One that goes
beyond the physical, penetrating the emotional and mental aspects.

However this is only one dimension. Doing simple caring things. Actually
listening to her when she talks to you. Are all simple things that when
done together can create a loving relationship.”
relationships  Claudia_Dey  listening  serving_others 
november 2010 by jerryking
Educating Professionals
Jan-Feb 2009| Harvard Magazine | focus on training leaders:
through their development of judgment in establishing priorities; their
entrepreneurial vision in finding opportunities to solve problems; their
skill in communicating; their values and integrity; and their
commitment to action. .... Leaders are accountable for more than
themselves; they must be both willing and able to accept that
responsibility.”

In the end, Faust said, education throughout the University must be
informed by the recognition that “[L]eadership is a means; it is not an
end in itself.…Leaders exist to serve followers, and leaders’ successes
must be measured not simply by their power to move others, but by the
directions in which they take those who follow them.”
education  MBAs  HBS  Drew_Gilpin_Faust  leaders  leadership  leadership_development  Peter_Drucker  professional_education  deanships  serving_others 
july 2010 by jerryking
An Innovator in Allston
Jul-Aug 2010 | Harvard Magazine | Nitin Nohria named dean of
Harvard Business School. He posed the core question for HBS this way:
“Are we educating people who have the competence and character to
exercise leadership in business?”...2 autumns ago, speaking at HBS’s
centennial global business summit (see “Educating Professionals,”
January-February 2009, page 58), President Faust invoked Peter Drucker’s
parable of the stonecutters: one simply making a living, a second
trying to be the country’s best stonecutter, and the third aspiring to
build a cathedral. The vision of the second, a pure individualist, Faust
described as “incomplete” and “a kind of blindness.” A commitment to
educating leaders for the world, she maintained, compelled HBS to look
to “purposes beyond one’s self….Leaders exist to serve followers,” she
continued, “and leaders’ success must be measured not simply by their
power to move others, but by the directions in which they take those who
follow them.”
deanships  HBS  leadership  Drew_Gilpin_Faust  Peter_Drucker  Nitin_Nohria  leaders  serving_others  selflessness 
july 2010 by jerryking
How to Make Your Network Work for You - Best Practices - Harvard Business Review
February 18, 2010 | HBR | by Ariana Green. The most
universally agreed upon networking tip is this: Offer to help others
first, and they will return the favor. "You should always ask new
contacts to tell you about a business challenge they are confronting,"
"That way, you might know someone who can help, and that's the start of a
relationship."...gain credibility by keeping appointments, acting on
(explicit and implicit) promises, verifying facts, and rendering
services....It's not enough to be an expert on something if nobody knows
you well enough to think about calling you. Creating an inviting image
for yourself can generate business and opportunities....Writing original
articles or posting commentary keeps you on other people's minds and
enables them to see how involved you are in your industry. It is an
efficient way to continue a relationship with those you know.
networking  career  tips  hbr  advice  best_practices  relationships  Managing_Your_Career  personal_branding  serving_others  following_up 
may 2010 by jerryking
Corner Office - William D. Green of Accenture Values 3 Rules for Success
November 21, 2009 |NYTimes.com| This interview with William D.
Green, chairman and C.E.O. of Accenture, was conducted and condensed by
Adam Bryant. There are three things that matter. The 1st is competence
— just being good at what you do, whatever it is, and focusing on the
job you have, not on the job you think you want to have. The 2nd one is
confidence. People want to know what you think. So you have to have
enough desirable self-confidence to articulate a point of view. The 3rd
thing is caring. Nothing today is about one individual. This is all
about the team, and in the end, this is about giving a damn about your
customers, your company, the people around you, and recognizing that the
people around you are the ones who make you look good.
CEOs  rules_of_the_game  Accenture  self-confidence  competence  ksfs  independent_viewpoints  serving_others 
november 2009 by jerryking
Managing: Six ways to be a team player
April 16, 2007 G&M column by Harvey Schachter in which John Szold outlines 6 tips to becoming a team MVP.

Be approachable: When someone asks for help, no matter how trivial the task may seem to you, it's important to him or her. Treat them with respect. Avoid sighing, eye rolling or other negative reactions.

Be responsive: Often, we're so focused on the tasks we need to accomplish that we put off a colleague's request for help. You shouldn't be expected to drop what you're doing, but you should offer a date or time when you can accommodate the request.

Improve your communication skills: Make sure people understand you -- and if you're not sure, ask: "I'm not sure if I said that clearly. What's your understanding?" When listening, make a conscious effort to really "hear" what's being said, rather than simply formulating your response.

Establish and maintain trust: Avoid gossiping. Nothing upsets an office dynamic like anger and distrust.

Share what you know: If you hold back because you want sole credit for an idea, you are doing yourself and the group a disservice.

Put the team first: If you find yourself thinking, "What's in it for me?" reposition your thinking by asking, "What's in it for the team?" No one person is more important than anyone else.
approachability  body_language  clarity  Communicating_&_Connecting  generosity  gestures  gossip  Harvey_Schachter  indispensable  listening  Managing_Your_Career  responsiveness  serving_others  teams  tips  trustworthiness 
january 2009 by jerryking

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