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jerryking : soul_mates   5

Opinion | How Love Changes - The New York Times
the most important aspect of relationships? People change! One might find the “perfect” soul mate today and a few years later, or even sooner, that person changes, becomes less sharing, turns into a slob, finds a love of gambling or no longer enjoys going to the flea market in Connecticut on Sundays.

Searching for the perfect lifelong mate is a noble goal, but a fool’s errand. During the 60 years that my wife and I have been married, we have both been several different people. Working through those changes is no guarantee of a forever relationship, but thinking that all you need to do is make a good first choice is foolish.
relationships  marriage  romantic_love  letters_to_the_editor  soul_mates 
november 2018 by jerryking
What You Learn in Your 40s -
FEB. 28, 2014| NYT | Pamela Druckerman.

There are no soul mates. Not in the traditional sense, at least. In my 20s someone told me that each person has not one but 30 soul mates walking the earth. (“Yes,” said a colleague, when I informed him of this, “and I’m trying to sleep with all of them.”) In fact, “soul mate” isn’t a pre-existing condition. It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.

• You will miss out on some near soul mates. This goes for friendships, too. There will be unforgettable people with whom you have shared an excellent evening or a few days. Now they live in Hong Kong, and you will never see them again. That’s just how life is.
aging  midlife  mid_life_crisis  soul_mates 
march 2014 by jerryking
First Mate
July 10, 2012 | G&M |
Biting critique of Avivah Wittenberg-Cox's essay, "Most of my girlfriends jumped ship after decades of marriage" by Anya Hageman, of Kingston, Ont.
letters_to_the_editor  divorce  relationships  marriage  selfishness  soul_mates 
july 2012 by jerryking
The long and winding road
February 14, 2001| National Post | by Donna Laframboise.
"June Callwood, who herself has been married for 57 years, recently
declared in these pages that the perfect mate doesn't exist. Forget
about Prince Charming, she advises her grand-daughters. Instead, she
offers them a straightforward formula for romantic success. First, don't
expect your relationship to be friction-free, since it's unrealistic to
think two people will always agree on everything. Second, "discord over
trivia is not evidence of a mismatch," but proof you're in a perfectly
normal relationship in the real world. In other words, long-term
romances require more than starry-eyed pronouncements of undying
valentine  relationships  romantic_love  marriage  ksfs  long-term  expectations  in_the_real_world  marital_strife  soul_mates  imperfections 
october 2009 by jerryking
Looking for Mr. Good Enough
06-05-2008 The Globe and Mail column by Hampson, Sarah.

Forget passion. According to the latest thinking in the dating world,
romantic love is a fantasy. Single women are being urged to be
strategic, and even draw on the time-tested principles of arranged
relationships  romantic_love  dating  Sarah_Hampson  marriage  good_enough  soul_mates 
january 2009 by jerryking

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