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jerryking : verbal_cues   1

The importance of being courteous: Why she is touting it to young women
Jul. 17 2014 | The Globe and Mail | LEAH MCLAREN.

Institutional achievement and politeness should not be mutually exclusive, but both are essential for young people to find fulfilling work and relationships later in life. ...Raising well-behaved children well should be a significant civic duty.

Manners, which an increasing number of parents dismiss as old-fashioned, actually matter more than ever before. As Reardon pointed out in her speech, this is not about “using the right spoon for soup or eating asparagus with your left hand” but the importance of “being polite and respectful and making the people you interact with feel valued.”

Such deep internal values must be impressed upon children from the outside in. When it comes to character we must fake it in childhood to make it as adults. Am I implying that teaching a child to simply say, “Excuse me,” before interrupting can lead to a successful career and a happy marriage later in life? Yes, absolutely.

In the digital era, when kids are communicating through a coded vortex of social media and smartphone screens rather than face to face, it’s especially important for parents to invest time and energy to impart social rules for how to communicate properly with other humans in the flesh....The thing about manners is that they are actually much more time-consuming to instill in your children than, say, teaching them to play the cello or speak fluent Mandarin. That’s because most parents will naturally outsource the latter two skills (unless they happen to be Chinese cellists) whereas good manners require tireless, everyday, hands-on effort. Take “please” and “thank you” – by far the most superficial of all our accepted behavioural etiquette constructs. To teach a child to say these things consistently and without prompting, the average parent must correct that child several dozen times a day from the time they are initially verbal until about 5 or 6. On average, that’s more than 100,000 verbal cues until a child actually gets it. Your pet goldfish learns tricks faster than that. And that’s not even counting the thousands of mandatory apologies, forced thank-you-notes and supervised household chores. Raising a well-mannered kid is a slog, and no babysitter, tutor or fancy private school is going to do it for you
parenting  etiquette  civics  commencement  high_schools  Leah_McLaren  courtesies  civility  students  women  girls  youth  verbal_cues 
july 2014 by jerryking

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