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juliusbeezer : relationships   5

The incel mind: As if hating women will get you a girlfriend - Chicago Tribune
What are we to make of “incels,” the oddball community of frustrated guys who go online to complain about how they can’t find women who want to have sex with them?

Gee, I wonder why.

There’s room for all sorts of opinions on the web, I like to think. But this one has turned deadly. An incel, which stands for “involuntary celibate,” is blamed for driving a rented van that jumped the sidewalk and plowed into pedestrians on a Toronto street on April 23.

Police charged Alek Minassian, 25, of Toronto with killing 10 people and injuring 15, most of whom were women. Before the attack, authorities say he posted a message on his Facebook page to announce his incel ties.

“The Incel Rebellion has already begun!” it said in part. “We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail the Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger!”

That’s incel-speak. “Chads” in their world are guys who are cool and good-looking enough to attract what incels feel unfairly denied: sex with attractive and sexually active “Stacys.”
sex  us  relationships  crash_report  deaths  driving 
may 2018 by juliusbeezer
Things Healthy Couples Don’t Fight About – Fit Yourself Club
(a.) Because each person is calm and clear on what they need and do the majority of the emotional work upfront, they are fair in what they ask of their partner, and straightforward in how they do so. They don’t ask unreasonable things, they don’t obscure their need by asking for something else. (They don’t push for “date night” when what they really want is “attention.” They don’t push for “labels” when what they really need is “certainty.”)...
Here’s a bunch of shit that’s too small to squabble over:
relationships  health  psychology 
february 2018 by juliusbeezer
She phubbs me, she phubbs me not: Smartphones could be ruining your love life
there’s a new relationship buster: the smartphone.

My colleague Meredith David and I recently conducted a study that explored just how detrimental smartphones can be to relationships.

We zeroed in on measuring something called “phubbing” (a fusion of “phone” and “snubbing”). It’s how often your romantic partner is distracted by his or her smartphone in your presence. With more and more people using the attention-siphoning devices – the typical American checks his or her smartphone once every six-and-a-half minutes, or roughly 150 times each day – phubbing has emerged as a real source of conflict. For example, in one study, 70 percent of participants said that phubbing hurt their ability to interact with their romantic partners.
attention  relationships 
december 2016 by juliusbeezer
Swiping For Love in All The Wrong Places – Medium
The first thing that we found was that swiping apps are staggeringly ineffective at helping people find relationships. Not everyone on these apps are looking for relationships, of course, but among those that are only 18% have found even one relationship, ever. It’s hard to imagine any service staying in business where fewer than 1 in 5 customers ever found what they were looking for.

What became clear was that swiping apps are not ‘successful’ because they’re effective at helping users find relationships; rather they’re effective at maximizing user engagement
internet  sex  relationships 
october 2016 by juliusbeezer
Stay Monogamous Using Polyamorous Principles | Psychology Today
A recent issue of Psychological Inquiry provided a number of scientific articles about the current state of monogamy and marriage. One paper in particular outlined how most of us are guilty of psychologically and emotionally suffocating our romantic partners in monogamous relationships.5 Another offered a solution to this problem in the form of consensual non-monogamy.6 Although their paper was incredibly interesting and made a great case for embarking upon a polyamorous relationship, its applicability may be limited to people who are open to consensual non-monogamy.
relationships  sex 
november 2014 by juliusbeezer

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