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kme : harassment   13

Alex - Catch insensitive, inconsiderate writing |
Whether your own or someone else’s writing, alex helps you find gender favouring, polarising, race related, religion inconsiderate, or other unequal phrasing.
javascript  library  language  writing  censor  abuse  harassment 
january 2019 by kme
Re: Hate Mail |
But really, I don’t block my internet stalker because I’m compelled by my own shame. How much do I need to be liked? I do my best to avoid the black hole of this question: I don’t google myself. I don’t read the comments anymore. I read only the most professional reviews. But once the dark gravity of judgement has me in its grasp, once it’s in my inbox, I can’t look away. Fleetingly, it feels true that I should be tested. That in asking the world to consider my voice, I’ve invited th...
writing  harassment  theinternet  dudes  thelifeofthemind 
november 2018 by kme
Why Women-Only Transit Options Have Caught On - CityLab
Riyo Yamamoto, a 21-year-old college student, tells me she opts for women-only trains when possible because she’s been groped during her commute over 20 times since junior high school. Rather than going to the police, she handles it herself.

"I stamp down hard on their foot or punch them," she says. "If I go to the police, it could get them fired and divorced and ruin their lives. I feel sorry for them, even though they’re disgusting and annoying."

Some Japanese men don’t believe that women-only trains solve the groping problem. A few have even banded together to oppose the trains, claiming they aren’t effective and smack of gender discrimination (against men) to boot.
publictransit  harassment  japan 
september 2016 by kme
Local Chicago Man Would Like Women to Smile, Accept His Advances
A greater effort needs to be made to inform men that the world is not concerned with pleasing you. Random women on the street are not concerned with pleasing you. Women owe you nothing. I understand that having grown up in a patriarchal society, this is difficult news to process, but you are irrelevant to the vast majority of women you come in contact with and the sooner your realize that, the better.

From the comments (wherein commenters unload on a trans-woman defending the behavior of "harmless dorks" trying to get the attention of women):
I agree that we basically talking about the fear of being raped/assaulted by boners we don't like. But there's more to it than that. Every time a woman is shouted at in the street, she gets a little jab of fear about assault. This could happen many times a day. It's completely fucking disruptive to her happiness, her feelings of safety, her confidence.

So it's not just about preventing rape. A women may never be raped, but she will be afraid for much of her life. Women are getting pissed off that they feel this way. They are pushing back against these men who are creating an environment where women get harassed on a daily basis. Women are trying to get society to say, "this behavior is unacceptable".

Guys don't need the benefit of the doubt. They get it every fucking day. We don't want to hold their hand and be easy on them until they get it. That's not my fucking problem.

We're just yapping our idiot heads off and pissing you off because we love you too much. If I didn't have a dog I'd be downright more angry and stuck up about how women are, but because I see the relationship I have with my dog and how my dog sometimes annoys me, I can understand that we men must be infuriatingly annoying to women when we want so much attention and for people to care about our feelings and needs. Women treat the romantic attentions of males the same way humans treat all the attentions of dogs— there are just more important things in life and they don't have or patience for it much of the time.

We REALLY want to be left alone. Men are predators to us. TRY to imagine living a life where any one of you could be the death of us. Just try.

do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

You missed the best part! Self-awareness is such a rare quality.
harassment  forthecomments  feminism 
september 2016 by kme
She Wanted to Do Her Research. He Wanted to Talk ‘Feelings.’ - The New York Times
The evasion of justice within academia is all the more infuriating because the course of sexual harassment is so predictable. Since I started writing about women and science, my female colleagues have been moved to share their stories with me; my inbox is an inadvertent clearinghouse for unsolicited love notes. Sexual harassment in science generally starts like this: A woman (she is a student, a technician, a professor) gets an email and notices that the subject line is a bit off: “I need to tell you,” or “my feelings.” The opening lines refer to the altered physical and mental state of the author: “It’s late and I can’t sleep” is a favorite, though “Maybe it’s the three glasses of cognac” is popular as well.

From the comments:
While sexual harassment is horrible, it is not the only problem. I left science as well, despite never having been sexually harassed. The problem is that if you're feminine and quiet, if you avoid the limelight and make sure you never clash with anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, you don't get ahead because you're seen as not brilliant enough. If, on the other hand, you show your brilliance, you inevitably make certain insecure men -- men who can't stand women who are smarter than they are -- uncomfortable. Such men hold grudges; they will spread lies about you behind your back, or they will push your buttons until they stumble upon something with which they can accuse you of unprofessional behavior. An argument with a co-worker over a trivial matter, which would be considered completely natural for a man, can ruin a woman's reputation and her career.

Women who make it in science tend to have a senior male protector -- a mentor who defends them from sexist attacks by more junior men. Women who are not so lucky get pushed out.

Male scientists are hypocritical to complain that there are not enough female scientists to promote to the higher levels when they are actively pushing women out at the lower levels. I am not the only woman I know who left science for reasons having nothing to do with competence or love of the subject matter. The playing field will favor men as long as women are expected to be brilliant and universally non-threatening at the same time.

There is an important special feature of the scientific enterprise that can lead to the sort of bad behavior discussed here: Many young people who devote themselves to science do so at the expense of learning how to behave socially. The excitement of learning how the physical (or biological) world works can be all-encompassing, and can lead to both neglect and disdain of social interaction. At least in math and in theoretical physics (which I know best) the young scientist can largely work on his/her own throughout most of his/her undergraduate, graduate, and post-doctoral training. Social maturity may consequently never happen. If and when this young scientist becomes a faculty member and is asked to supervise others, social immaturity can then lead to bad behavior.
womeninscience  sexism  science  academia  harassment  forthecomments 
june 2016 by kme

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