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robertogreco : brucefeiler   2

How to Be a Friend in Deed - NYTimes.com
"Alain de Botton, the best-selling author of many books, including “Art as Therapy,” told me that he was once deeply worried about “a mess I was in with the media.” “A friend of mine did the best thing,” he said. “Rather than say everything would be O.K., he said quite simply: ‘I will like you if I’m the last person to do so. There’s nothing you can do to put me off you. You’re stuck with me for life. You may hate yourself, and the world may, too; but I won’t follow suit.’ ”

Mr. de Botton said he found the gesture comforting: “Friends should entertain the darkest scenarios and show you that these would, nevertheless, be survivable.” Instead of placating with false optimism, he said, “I need grim, grim realism, combined with stoic fortitude — colored by a touch of gallows humor.”

ENOUGH ABOUT YOU, LET’S TALK ABOUT ME Paradoxically, sometimes the best way to be a friend to someone in crisis is to change the subject. Ms. Jamison said that for a long time, she would try to meet a friend in whatever emotion the friend was inhabiting. “If she was sad, I came into the sadness with her,” she said. But over time, she realized that sometimes it’s better to distract the other person. “If a friend seems exhausted by the prospect of narrating something again,” she said, “then I do think it can be helpful to tell them something from my own life, to give them a chance to be useful in return. Reciprocity is an incredibly saving dynamic.”"



"If there is a common theme, it’s that while technology does offer support, many still crave the real thing. Crisis is a test of friendship, and success, in this case, is measured in intimacy. “We always imagine that those in trouble go into another zone,” Mr. de Botton said, ”that they are no longer human. But they remain who they always were. Stop being so darn strange just because Mom died or I have cancer. It’s the same old me.”"
via:mattthomas  2015  friendship  reciprocity  support  brucefeiler  relationships 
february 2015 by robertogreco
This Life - A Plugged-in Summer - NYTimes.com
"I concocted a scheme. During weekends this summer, I would pursue the opposite of an unplugged vacation: I would check screens whenever I could. Not in the service of work, but in the service of play. I would crowd-source new ideas for car games and YouTube my picnic recipes. I would test the prevailing wisdom that the Internet spoils all the fun. With back-to-school fast approaching, here’s my report.

For starters, the Web supplied an endless font of trivia and historical tidbits to enliven our days. I learned that a great debate still rages over who was the “Benedict” in eggs Benedict; that ancient mythologists believed fish were so afraid of the ospreys that they turned up their bellies in surrender; and that care packages like the one we sent my nephew at camp had their origins feeding starving Europeans in World War II and initially contained liver loaf and steak and kidneys…"
technology  vacation  brucefeiler  connectivity  twitter  socialsoftware  socialnetworking  handhelds  iphone  ipad  instantgratification  search  crowdsourcing  learning  2011 
august 2011 by robertogreco

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