recentpopularlog in

robertogreco : sociamedia   2

FutureEverything 2015: Alexis Lloyd & Matt Boggie on Vimeo
"From New York Times R&D Labs, Alexis Lloyd and Matt Boggie talk about our possible media futures, following the early days of the web - where growth was propelled forward by those making their own spaces online - to the present, where social platforms are starting to close down, tightening the possibilities whilst our dependency on them is increasing. Explaining how internet users are in fact participatory creators, not just consumers, Alexis and Matt ask where playing with news media can allow for a new means of expression and commentary by audiences."
public  media  internet  web  online  walledgardens  participation  participatory  2015  facebook  snapchat  open  openness  alexisloyd  mattboggie  publishing  blogs  blogging  history  audience  creativity  content  expression  socialnetworks  sociamedia  onlinemedia  appropriation  remixing  critique  connection  consumption  creation  sharing  participatoryculture  collage  engagement  tv  television  film  art  games  gaming  videogames  twitch  performance  social  discussion  conversation  meaningmaking  vine  twitter  commentary  news  commenting  reuse  community  culturecreation  latoyapeterson  communication  nytimes  agneschang  netowrkedculture  nytimesr&dlabs  bots  quips  nytlabs  compendium  storytelling  decentralization  meshnetworking  peertopeer  ows  occupywallstreet  firechat  censorship  tor  bittorrent  security  neutrality  privacy  iot  internetofthings  surveillance  networkedcitizenship  localnetworks  networks  hertziantribes  behavior  communities  context  empowerment  agency  maelstrom  p2p  cookieswapping  information  policy  infrastructure  technology  remixculture 
march 2015 by robertogreco
How To Talk To Girls On Twitter Without Coming Off Like A Creepy Rando
"Don't make our own jokes back at us, or explain them to us. This one should hopefully be easy. When you are about to add on to a woman's joke, just take a second and really think (at about the speed indicated by the ellipses, to give you plenty of time to really mull it over): "Is it possible ... that ... what I am about to say ... is exactly the joke ... SHE was making?" Look deep into your heart. If it is possible, err on the side of not making the joke. I promise that everyone will be okay without it. (Check out the replies to this joke for a very meta example of this phenomenon.)

Don't be a pedant. Before you hit her with the #actually (highly useful terminology care of Desus), consider again: Is it possible she was making a joke? Joke-making by women has been legal for years, and many of us have gotten very good at it. Okay, so you've considered it, and it definitely wasn't a joke, it was just a factual error. Was it a truly harmful error? Then definitely, go ahead and correct it! But did she just imply that Tarantino directed True Romance, when really he just wrote the screenplay? Oh, buddy. I know it feels pretty awesome to correct people, and scratches what feels like a very urgent itch, but the same is true for jerking off, and we just don't do that in public. Chances are someone has already told her, and if they haven't, that's still okay. Really!

Don't be a mentions pest. Almost any woman with a fair number of followers will know what I'm talking about here: someone who you don't follow but who @'s you all the time with innocuous but inane comments or questions, nothing so out of line that you'd feel justified telling them to fuck off, but constantly making little demands on your attention. It's surprisingly exhausting! Social cues exist on Twitter, too, mostly in the form of faving or replying. If you're making a lot of little jokes in her mentions and she's not even pity-faving them, I'm so sorry, but you're probably being a mentions pest. Maybe chill a little.

Don't derail and make it about you. Yes, we know, not ALL men. You, personally, would never. Is that really, truly what's important here, though?

Don't imitate bad dudes in our mentions. This one is really specific, but it's also shockingly common. Like, when we're like, "Ugh, another strange dude frickin' told me to smile today," some dude will @ us all jokingly like, "Durrr but you're so much prettier when you smile!!!" First of all, if we don't know you, why would we instinctively get that you're joking when it matches actual things that actual dudes say to us? Even if we do get that you're joking—even if you're a friend—I hope you can imagine that it doesn't seem to us to be the funniest, most original joke we've ever heard. Instead, it comes off as a self-serving gesture to cast yourself as "one of the good ones" who "gets it." But adding on to the endless chorus of dudes who say wack shit to us, even in jest, is just not the move.

Faving is almost always cool. Ditto thank-yous, expressions of sympathy, non-gross compliments, answers to actual questions, and pictures of cute animals. (One exception to "faving is cool": If you see girls talking amongst themselves about sex or their bodies or something, don't fav that. We know you can see it, the same way we know you can overhear us in public, but it's like if we were having the conversation at a coffee shop and you winked at us. Eww.)

It's probably cool if you want to defend us from trolls, but keep us out of it. If someone is harassing us and you want to tell them about themselves, thank you, that's super sweet. But take our handle out of your reply to them so we don't have to keep seeing it in our mentions. And try to be thoughtful about not drawing our attention to trolls unnecessarily, or drawing their fire to us.

If someone tells you that you're being weird or annoying or creepy, say sorry and cut it out. It doesn't matter if she's being way harsh about it, or that you're a super-awesome dude and didn't mean it that way—literally the only cool move when someone enforces their boundaries is to respect them, apologize, and back off. Even if you weren't being a creep before, a really easy way to make yourself one is to stick around after someone's made it clear that they want you to leave them alone, even if it was for what you think is a bullshit reason.

If you don't know each other, maybe just don't @ her. This one is going to make dudes mad, I think, but like ... what if you just didn't? Would you die? Maybe think about why you feel entitled to have a stranger listen to your thoughts at all? This isn't a perfect analogy, but a good rule of thumb is to treat the mentions of someone who doesn't follow you back (i.e. someone who hasn't explicitly consented to listen to you) like you're asking her to take out her earbuds on the bus. (Here's a bonus article-within-an-article, by the way, entitled "How To Talk To Women On Public Transportation": Oh gosh please just don't.) Is what you have to say funny or interesting enough that you'd feel good about saying it to her while she looks at you blankly, earbuds dangling? Listen, I'm just urging you to consider the alternative path of not @'ing her whenever you're about to @ her. You may find that it suits you, and sorry, but there's a good chance it'd suit us, too."
gender  socialmnetworks  sociamedia  twitter  etiquette  culture  2015  lilybenson  howto  tutorials  favoriting 
february 2015 by robertogreco

Copy this bookmark:





to read