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whip_lash : humor   43

Former Online Brokerage Chief Offers Handy How-To-Guide Re: Getting Banned From The Securities Industry - Dealbreaker
One day, he showed up in bathing trunks and a T-shirt that read NASDAQ SUCKS. The judge, outraged, tossed him out, telling him to come back in a different shirt the following day. Maschler did as ordered-- wearing a T-shirt that read NASDAQ SUCKS in different colors.
sec  humor 
yesterday by whip_lash
Texas Tech fans need to be above rioting destruction | Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Texas Tech fans embarrass themselves on Saturday night in Lubbock by celebrating the Red Raiders’ win in the national semifinal game against Michigan State that ended up with cops and tear gas.
humor  lubbock  riot 
15 days ago by whip_lash
You want HOW MANY years experience?!
This is a handy tool for tech recruiters who ask for fifteen years experience in technologies that have only existed for three months.
career  humor  technology 
9 weeks ago by whip_lash
Dave Barry's 2017 Year in Review | Miami Herald
So now, finally, it is time to flush this turd of a year down the commode of history. But before we do, let’s don eclipse glasses to prevent retina damage, then take one last flinching look back at the events of 2017
2017  humor 
december 2017 by whip_lash
The Real Story of the Dallas Share Bike War - D Magazine
That was it for a while, and even that was too much. The deal was, you could drop them off anywhere, and people really explored the limits of “anywhere.” There were bikes in the river, bikes in White Rock Lake, junked up behind dumpsters and wherever else. Downtown, it was like that movie Left Behind, like everyone on a share bike had just been sucked up into heaven mid-ride. Bikes were lying everywhere. People couldn’t handle that kind of freedom.
humor  satire  bicycle  transportation  dallas 
december 2017 by whip_lash
Operational Excellence in April Fools' Pranks - ACM Queue
Stack Overflow's 2017 prank, "Dance Dance Authentication," was both topical and absurdist.3 The prank was a blog post and accompanying demonstration video for Stack Overflow's new (fictional) authentication system. Rather than the usual 2FA (two-factor authentication) system that requires an authenticator app or key fob, this system required users to turn on their webcams and dance their password. This was topical because recent growth in 2FA adoption meant many Internet users were experiencing 2FA for the first time. It was absurdist because it took the added burden and nuisance of 2FA to an extreme. It revealed the truth that badly implemented security sacrifices convenience.
engineering  humor 
december 2017 by whip_lash
WeWork Hits Education With an Entrepreneurial School for Kids - Bloomberg
“In my book, there’s no reason why children in elementary schools can’t be launching their own businesses,” Rebekah Neumann said in an interview.
education  kids  humor  ilaffed 
november 2017 by whip_lash
Unix Programming - Master Foo and the Script Kiddie
A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students.
joke  ethics  security  humor 
june 2015 by whip_lash
Succession in China: Next in line | The Economist
I see children peeing in the lotus pond under the approving gaze of the parent for a good relieving with 100 tourists looking on in the Garden while the public toilet is 50 meters away with clearly marked signs. Young college-looking students jump the queue ahead of me while claiming all the god-given reasons why it is a civilized act. Our own Indian "dalit" looking folks wandering the Wangfujing shopping heaven with spit flying unto many a tourist fragranced face. (Mind you these dalits, if you can call them such, are not hereditary, like their Indian counter-part, they have all the opportunity to educate themselves and climb up the social ladder in a few short years, if so they choose to.)

I dread giving the vote to such folks.

This country is ready for real universal vote only when I camp in the garden for a month and see no public peeing or shitting into the pond.
china  democracy  humor 
october 2010 by whip_lash
The 72-Hour Expert | The Weekly Standard
As all good reporters do, I prepared for my assignment with extensive research. I went to an Afghan restaurant in Prague. Getting a foretaste—as it were—of my subject, I asked the restaurant’s owner (an actual Afghan), “So what’s up with Afghanistan?”

He said, “Americans must understand that Afghanistan is a country of honor. The honor of an Afghan is in his gun, his land, and his women. You take a man’s honor if you take his gun, his land or his women.”
afghanistan  humor 
august 2010 by whip_lash
GodBlock - Protect your children
GodBlock is a web filter that blocks religious content. It is targeted at parents and schools who wish to protect their kids from the often violent, sexual, and psychologically harmful material in many holy texts, and from being indoctrinated into any religion before they are of the age to make such decisions. When installed properly, GodBlock will test each page that your child visits before it is loaded, looking for passages from holy texts, names of religious figures, and other signs of religious propaganda. If none are found, then your child is allowed to browse freely.
humor  religion 
july 2010 by whip_lash
Dilbert's Scott Adams on Betting on the Bad Guys in Investing -
Apparently BP has its own navy, a small air force, and enough money to build floating cities on the sea, most of which are still upright. If there's oil on the moon, BP will be the first to send a hose into space and suck on the moon until it's the size of a grapefruit. As an investor, that's the side I want to be on, with BP, not the loser moon.
humor  investing 
june 2010 by whip_lash
April Winchell » Barack Obama is tired of your motherfucking shit
This would all be snickerworthy enough, but it turns out that Obama actually read the audiobook version of Dreams From My Father.

And that means he read Ray’s quotes.

And that means you’re about to hear the President of United States using language that would finish Cheney off once and for all.
obama  mp3  humor  politics 
may 2010 by whip_lash
E-mails from an Asshole
This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off.
april 2010 by whip_lash
The $20 Theory of the Universe - Esquire
There is almost nothing on earth that cannot be had for a price. The question is, what is that price? And the answer is twenty dollars.
travel  humor  psychology  economics  culture 
october 2009 by whip_lash
iowahawk: Cambridge Police Profiling Still A Grim Reality for Harvard Faculty Assholes
For untold hundreds of Harvard faculty assholes such indignities are, sadly, still part and parcel of being "The Other." As Associate Director of the School of Harvard Faculty Asshole Studies, I have worked to institute policies to insure that Harvard maintains a nurturing environment for all assholes in our community, be they faculty, students, or alumni.
july 2009 by whip_lash
Jalopnik - F1 Boss Max Mosley Caught With Five Hookers In "Nazi Orgy" Video Scandal - Clips
FIA President Max Mosley has been caught on film allegedly taking part in what UK tabloid News of the World has characterized as a "Nazi orgy."
humor  sex  news 
june 2009 by whip_lash
How Jon Stewart Went Bad - The Daily Beast
Cynics might assume that the fury was a pose. Humor requires ironic detachment, and nobody as funny and sophisticated as Jon Stewart could possibly be getting that mad on TV over something so abstract. A fair assumption, but wrong. Stewart really was enraged. It was all entirely, strangely real.

I know this from my own run-in with Stewart, on CNN’s Crossfire a few weeks before the 2004 election. Stewart spent a couple of segments lecturing Paul Begala and me about how we were somehow “helping the politicians and the corporations,” a charge that baffled me then (I’ve never particularly liked either one), as it does now.
humor  journalism 
march 2009 by whip_lash
Pointless Sites - Useless Sites -
We aim to list only pointless and useless sites that; are completely pointless, don't have pop ads or too many ads in general, are original, useless, are not offensive and most of all make you smile - family friendly fun! (we hope that Pinguin extreme (penguin extreme) hasn't crossed the line - It's fun anyhow!) ) Also known as extremely useless sites, useless websites, pointless websites, time wasters, pointless pages, pointlessness and pointless webpages...
weird  humor  free  web  internet  entertainment 
february 2009 by whip_lash
Passengers stop flight after 'drunk' pilot sparks panic - Times Online
Flight attendants initially ignored passengers' complaints and threatened to expel them from the Boeing 767 jet unless they stopped "making trouble". As the rebellion spread, Aeroflot representatives boarded the aircraft to try to calm down the 300 passengers.

One sought to reassure them by announcing that it was "not such a big deal" if the pilot was drunk because the aircraft practically flew itself.
humor  aircraft  russia 
february 2009 by whip_lash Taking Advantage Of Technology - Inside Programmable Road Signs
How many times have you driven by an electronic road sign like one of these?

This is the ADDCO portable sign. Today, you see what is on the inside, and how they are programmed to display important information.
security  humor  howto  transportation  sign 
february 2009 by whip_lash
Armored truck robber uses Craigslist to make getaway | Top Stories | | News for Seattle, Washington
Mike showed up along with about a dozen other men dressed like him, but there was no contractor and no road work to be done. He thought they had been stood up until he heard about the bank robbery and the suspect who wore the same attire.
weird  humor  crime 
october 2008 by whip_lash
subprime works - Google Docs
cartoon  humor  subprime  finance 
september 2008 by whip_lash
Ike grows to Category 2 hurricane, eyes Texas -
Perhaps more important to many in Texas, dozens of high school football games in cities and towns along the coast were rescheduled from Friday to Thursday night to avoid playing in the storm, CNN affiliate KGBT-TV reported. BIT OF A STEREOTYPE THERE
news  humor 
september 2008 by whip_lash
How to Disagree
"The author is a self-important dilettante" is really nothing more than a pretentious version of "u r a fag."
humor  howto  argumentation 
june 2008 by whip_lash
The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: Why Dell will not bounce back
Which brings me to the real difference between Dell and Apple -- simply put, it's me. When you boil down all the facts and data, the real bottom line on Apple's rebound is that Apple rebounded because I came back to the company.
humor  tech 
may 2008 by whip_lash
Top 10 interview mistakes -
• Candidate answered cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.
business  humor  jobs 
may 2008 by whip_lash
My neighbours are stealing my wireless internet access. I could encrypt it or alternately I could have fun.
security  wireless  tech  humor 
may 2007 by whip_lash
YouNotSneaky!: How much of a jerk do you have to be to oppose immigration?
Surely, if natives' welfare counts for ten times as much as that of foreigners, we would be justified in banning immigration since it may adversely affect the wages of the unskilled in US? Well, let's see...
immigration  humor  politics 
may 2007 by whip_lash

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