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whip_lash : parenting   13

The pursuit of excellence in programming
A parent who is cultivating a kid’s interest in hard work, may be more likely to encourage their child with words such as, “It’s OK. Keep studying, and you’ll definitely do better next time”. A parent proposing a model of static intelligence, may justify their child’s failure in a given subject by concluding that “maybe you are not cut out for subject X”. [1]

When facing failure, the “static intelligence” child may crumble under the weight of his own demise, as if failure was a reflection of their intrinsic value rather than a temporary speed bump and occasion for growth. A “dynamic intelligence” child will simply try harder next time. Genius or not, excellence and mastery of any subject requires hard work and many “smart” kids fall short when the bar is raised high enough so that “smartness” alone won’t cut it anymore. This usually corresponds with the switch from high school to college.
parenting  learning  education  programming 
july 2010 by whip_lash
The Last Psychiatrist: Why Parents Hate Parenting
This advice is quite practical.  Parents often don't know what to do with their kids, so they overwhelm them with their attention instead.  What no parent realizes is that the vast majority of that overinvolved time is spent irritated.   Add it up yourself.   Nagging, bored, looking at your mobile.  The obvious message is that you're not satisfied.

That's the template you've offered him.

I don't know if helicopter parenting will turn the kid into a wimp as many claim, but I do know that it will make the kid hate you.  The natural individuation that will occur in adolescence is going to be a lot more severe, get ready.  Of course, by that time the parents will be too emotionally exhausted to keep on helicoptering, so you get the awesome combination of a lifelong history of overcontrol, with a sudden removal of nearly all of it, exactly at the time the kid discovers meth.  Well played, New York Magazine parents, well played.
parenting  psychology 
july 2010 by whip_lash
All Joy and No Fun
But the intensification of family time is not confined to the privileged classes alone. According to Changing Rhythms of American Family Life—a compendium of data porn about time use and family statistics, compiled by a trio of sociologists named Suzanne M. Bianchi, John P. Robinson, and Melissa A. Milkie—all parents spend more time today with their children than they did in 1975, including mothers, in spite of the great rush of women into the American workforce. Today’s married mothers also have less leisure time (5.4 fewer hours per week); 71 percent say they crave more time for themselves (as do 57 percent of married fathers). Yet 85 percent of all parents still—still!—think they don’t spend enough time with their children.
children  parenting 
july 2010 by whip_lash
The Case for Having More Kids - WSJ.com
Many find behavioral genetics depressing, but it's great news for parents and potential parents. If you think that your kids' future rests in your hands, you'll probably make many painful "investments"—and feel guilty that you didn't do more. Once you realize that your kids' future largely rests in their own hands, you can give yourself a guilt-free break.
children  parenting 
june 2010 by whip_lash
The End of the Best Friend - NYTimes.com
Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond — the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school — signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.
parenting  wtf 
june 2010 by whip_lash
Why Toddlers Don't Do What They're Told | LiveScience
Toddlers listen, they just store the information for later use, a new study finds.

"I went into this study expecting a completely different set of findings," said psychology professor Yuko Munakata at the University of Colorado at Boulder. "There is a lot of work in the field of cognitive development that focuses on how kids are basically little versions of adults trying to do the same things adults do, but they're just not as good at it yet. What we show here is they are doing something completely different."
psychology  children  parenting 
march 2010 by whip_lash
Sensemaking: How intellectual pollution has crippled America's children
There's no especially good reason for low-SES parents to talk less with their children and use more prohibitions. They're just following Dr. Spock's advice and raising their children according to their intuition. Which, as it happens, is to manage their children the way their employers manage them at work. Raising children like employees has benefits that are immediate and hugely salient, whereas the harms created are subtle and visible only in aggregate through statistical analysis.
sociology  psychology  education  intelligence  children  parenting 
june 2009 by whip_lash
Babies not as innocent as they pretend | Science | Earth | Telegraph
By eight months, more difficult deceptions became apparent, such as concealing forbidden activities or trying to distract parents' attention. [At] two, toddlers could use far more devious techniques, such as bluffing when threatened with a punishment.
children  parenting  psychology 
july 2007 by whip_lash
ABC News: Your Baby Knows More Than You Think
Even Infants Can Tell the Difference Between Languages; It May Help Them Survive
parenting 
may 2007 by whip_lash
JS Online: Play sets get pricey
Today's play sets come with rock walls, rope ladders, sandboxes and tunnel slides. Some have towers with roofs and rotating plastic guns mounted on their walls.
parenting  weird  business 
may 2007 by whip_lash

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